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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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50563033 No.50563033 [Reply] [Original]

Bvllbros, I think I ruined my relationship. Yesterday .y girlfriend saw me opening my crypto app and asked if I was shorting bitcoin. I was embarassed to tell her I wasn't, I was actually buying eth. I could immediately tell by the dismissive look in her eyes that she wasn't impressed. For the rest of the night she was cold and unreceptive to me, she looked at me like I was a dumb bulltard. The worst part? Today proved her right. I can tell already that she wants a real man. A big strong bobro who can impress her with his gains and satisfy her like I never could. These days my dick wont even stay stiff unless it's a green candle day. When I see those long, fat red dicks my little mumu shrinks up in fear, performance anxiety ruins me. She always knows it's a red day when I freeze up in bed.

I had the most vivid dream last night. I was sitting in a chair bedside watching my girlfriend get fucked by a big, strong, hung bobro, helpless as she moaned and groaned in ecstasy. The passion in her eyes, the way she worked her hips, it was NOTHING like when she's with me. I had never seen her so happy riding that big bobo cock. I hate to admit it, but I woke up stiff as a rock. Not even the green days get me that hard.

I can tell she's losing interest, not replying to my texts anymore. She's probably flirting with a Bobochad right now. I'm fucking doomed, why the hell did I choose to be a bulltard in a bear market? Fuck fuck FUCKKKK. More and more I realize I don't deserve her. She belongs with a bobro who can satisfy all her physical and financial needs.

>> No.50563072

You lost me the moment you said she asked if you short. Women don't do trading. They are too dumb for that. Too prone to avoiding risks. Its not in their blood.

>> No.50563152

>>50563033
you're a fucking faggot for taking any investing advice from a woman especially your girlfriend you fucking homo. does she peg you? kill yourself

>> No.50563204
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50563204

>>50563072
my girlfriend works in real estate. she's a better trader than me. she knows what fucking ripple is man.

>>50563152
she's tossed my salad a few times

>> No.50563599

>>50563204
>pair of normies investing in crypto

You would have gotten a sweet 1.25 roi by buying candy last October and selling it on easter.

>muh inflation
Maybe hold the candy idk...

>> No.50563728
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50563728

>>50563599
my girlfriend sold everything, she doesnt know why im buying. goddammit she's gonna find some rich bobro and dump my over leveraged ass for him.

>> No.50563832

>>50563033
You lost the moment you cared what she thinks
NOT(NEVER) GOING TO MAKE IT

>> No.50563893
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50563893

>>50563033
Women don't short.

>> No.50563914

>>50563033
the way you wrote this I can tell the idea of being cucked unironically gets you off

>> No.50563971
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50563971

>>50563914
n-no it was only ironic shitposting

>> No.50564008

>>50563971
all bears are cucks and OP is obviously a bobo LARPing as a mumu

>> No.50564022

>>50563893
Fuck off Tommy. You don't count, even if you changed your name to Tina and schwacked your pecker off.

>> No.50564077

tales from the average mumu household

>> No.50564196
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50564196

>>50564077
it's funny cause it's true

>> No.50564232

>>50563033
Are you getting sexual enjoyment from writing a fan fiction about your imaginary girlfriend and cartoons from a Peruvian butterfly watching forum?

>> No.50564333
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50564333

>>50564232
uh... no.

>> No.50564859
File: 606 KB, 1580x1101, bobo fucks mumu's girlfriend.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
50564859

Eat shit mumunigger. Your bitch is in love with my fat bear cock. About to dump my load in her just like I dumped all your crypto earlier. She might let you fuck once in a while, but she'll drop you like an old hat once I give her a call.