/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>49888277
Checked whatd they ask?

It's not your fault dude. You had no choice in the matter. Society failed you

Just tell them you are on the autism spectrum and they'll hire you and won't ask any questions anymore

>>49888277
Did they ask about your hobbies?

>>49888304
Tell us about yourself?
Why should we hire you over someone else?
How do you keep yourself organized?
Why do you want to work for this company?
Why are you interested in this role?
How do you handle stress?
How would you approach a situation in which you were given a task but didn’t receive complete instructions?

>>49888379
I fap to hentai and look at crypto charts to trade ponzis. I also argue with people in a basket weaving forum and call them a pack of wild niggers if they make me angry.

>>49888414
Those are all pretty standard interview questions, worth coming up with some answers to these before the next interview.

>>49888414
keep this list then answer them to yourself over and over again

>>49888483
do it out loud

>>49888414
Since interviews are all online now, I’d literally write a fuckin script and say the script. It landed me an internship at jpmorgan

>>49888277
>stood there in silence
who stands at an interview? Is this an American thing?

>>49888277
I got laughed at my first interview. Practiced. Been hired at a S&P 500 energy company in a analyst position last year

>>49888414
Kind of funny how the way you’d answer these changes over the years. Like you don’t have to hire me, im not here to compete with anyone just to get shit done. Why would you want arrogant tools in your business? But as a kid you’d be hyping yourself out to the max.

>>49888496
>people dont rehearse out loud to themselves daily?
>people dont think out loud even when alone
Anons am I schizophrenic or is this normal
I have an internal monologue but when im working through something i verbally say my monologue out loud

am I retarded?

>>49888510
Mind taking a pic or posting a few curve balls? Since I want to be prepared for the most random questions

>>49888277
Why were you standing? Was this a group interview in a warehouse setting

>>49888550
hmmm sounds like a case of being gay and retarded

>>49888550
Practice how you perform, so if you're practicing interview questions say your answer out loud.

If your brainstorming/brewing up some crazy thing alone let your freak flag fly, whatever works.

Shit when I'm programming I usually trash talk the founder of the company/primary author of the software on a first name basis. It works.

>>49888524
Pepsi were the ones that laughed at me btw. Fuck Pepsi.

>>49888524
Same, I fucked up several interviews at big tech companies before understanding how they work. Interviewing is a skill you practice like anything else. It's also a bit like dating - if you seem desperate, they can tell, and it's incredibly off-putting.

>>49888277
it could be worse, during the part of the interview they asked me for my sex and pronoun, I just said male. I was immediately canceled, no surprise

>>49888573
You need to have specific answers to questions like
>tell me a time you
>took feedback
>made a mistake
>lead a group
>thought about a problem differently than others
You can answer these in multiple ways. For mistake I talk about when I realized I was joining a scam MLM cutco. Or when I actually did make a mistake and had to be honest with my group on a project.

Use the STAR method
>situation
>task
>action
>result
To answer them. I found it easy to use the points I had in my resume and create stories around them.
>managed budget for club treasury
>I messed up someone’s part of the budget and majorly under budgeted. They needed the funds quickly so I had to get in contact with other members and find creative ways to reconcile it
Like X,Y,Z. It really taught me the importance of being detailed with my work and how my work has meaningful impacts on other member’s ability to perform

>>49888414
>I'm glad you asked that. I think of myself as a hard working, but balanced individual. I pride myself in my work, I always find it important to get the job done and do it well. But, I also find time to relax and enjoy my own personal time after work.
> I believe I'm the best candidate for this position because of my past experience in "X", originating in "college" or "previous job experience". But, not only do I think my experience will cross over into this new job, but I find it important to get along well with my coworkers. I think my experience, professionalism, and friendliness make me a top candidate
>I keep myself organized by using a calendar. I plan all my important events as soon as I learn about them
>I want to work for this company because I
Have interest in this particular field, but I find X has done a great job owning the market and competing with other competitors. Also, I took notice of their financial growth and it seems that this is a company with a long term goal, allowing me to have a prosperous career.
Also OP, this is a question you should always expect and need to research.
> I am interested in this specific role because I want to work with "whatever they're working with".
any previous experience gets included in here that relates.
>I beleive I handle stress well. When I encounter a difficult situation, I try to take a step back, a few deep breathes, and then approach the issue pragmatically and carefully.
>If i receive a task but didn't receive complete instructions, I use this as an opportunity to fill in the blanks and think creatively. I always try to outline a task before I begin. If the instructions are too vague for me to properly outline and achieve my goal, I'm not afraid to ask my superior for help.

OP, all these questions are very common. You should always be prepared to answer them, and you need to research the company and the role you're taking. It should be 30 minutes looking at their website and job desc.

>>49888679
STAR method is great advice. The biggest issue people have is rambling and getting off topic. The interviewers get tired and just want good, solid answers and to move on.

>>49888277
>that is none of your business

>>49888277
Just landed a job, I had 3 interviews prior. They mostly asked the same questions so I was prepared. My best advice is to apply for shitloads of jobs and interview for them all even if you aren’t interested. I also drank quadruple shot espresso 30 min and was almost yelling my answers at the guy, I had a shit load of questions for him too like “how do you motivate your team?, what’s the average retention rate for this position?”

>>49888750
>I also drank quadruple shot espresso 30 min
kek, that's exactly what I did before my last successful interview

>>49888414
>Tell us about yourself?
I wanna make more money that I currently am. The details about my personal life are irrelevant.
>Why should we hire you over someone else?
You tell me. If I am not more skilled, better spoken, better looking, or taller than other similarly skilled candidates, I have nothing more to offer.
>How do you keep yourself organized?
I use a notebook or whatever.
>Why do you want to work for this company?
I want to make money.
>Why are you interested in this role?
I want to make money.
>How do you handle stress?
The same way I handle pain, I just cope with it.
>How would you approach a situation in which you were given a task but didn’t receive complete instructions?
I would seek instructions. If those instructions cannot be given to me, I would seek out similar tasks to determine further instructions.

Bro just be yourself. We're all in it for the money

>>49888277
Don’t be hard on yourself. I wouldn’t call that bombed. Bombed is if you said you can code but then you can’t, or similar. Not being prepared to answer personal questions is maybe inexperience, if you wish you had answered, or a personality that includes healthy boundaries in which case that’s not something to be ashamed of and you should only budge on if you’re truly desperate.

>>49888735
I applied to over 200 places and did 25 interviews before landing a buyside asset mamnagement internship at JPM. I definitely rambled and got off topic. Rambling is the worst because you keep rambling until you notice you’re just rambling and you just need to cut your answer short with no real end

>>49888646
You should have replied that you don’t find it appropriate to ask an applicant what their biological sex is and left it at that.

Based and actually helpful thread

>>49888277
I was living with my parents, had been down for a while but got a shot of adrenaline after becoming indirectly wanted by the FBI for Nazi terrorism.
So I shaved in the shower and went to a job interview. On the way there I noticed I missed a spot above my lip, resulting in a noticeable Hitler mustache.
I got the job, cold calling in a call center.
I worked there for three days, every day I was the highest seller by far with triple the wages of everyone else. A cute girl worked there but she was clearly retarded. She kept saying retarded things that made it obvious she wanted my dick in front of people. She didn't notice it but everyone else did and became uncomfortable. One fat guy got more uncomfortable than the others because he had a crush on the retard girl.
The end.

>>49888277
It's because you're not a person

>>49888984
nice

>>49888414
Tell us about yourself?
I'm jewish, gay, and have 1/128th native blood in me.

>Why should we hire you over someone else?
I will fill one affirmative action spot and I will do it while signing an agreement not to sue over discrimination.

>How do you keep yourself organized?
I hire a pajeet virtual assistant in Uganda.

>Why do you want to work for this company?
I respect the diversity and culture of dynamism which incorporates perspectives from all walks of life.

>Why are you interested in this role?
I feel it can help me grow into a better me. At the same time it fits my core competencies such that I can get the job done.

>How do you handle stress?
I communicate clearly with my team members and delegate tasks if need be. If I am still stressed I go to the local LGBT friendly strip club.

>How would you approach a situation in which you were given a
task but didn’t receive complete instructions?
I would communicate with my team if I couldn't discern what needs to be done on my own volition.

>>49888414
When I answer questions like this I feel disgusted with myself.

>>49888750
>apply for shitloads of jobs and interview for them all even if you aren’t interested
I once did this through a recruiter for a position I wasn't interested in and actually got a job offer than I had to decline and pissed everyone off. What should I have done in this scenario?

>several rounds deep in the interview process
>doing a panel interview with 3 people asking me questions
>going well so far, even got them laughing a few times
>"what does [buzzword] [buzzword] mean to you?"
>think to myself 'those are two unrelated nonsense filler words just slammed together'
>'ive never heard anyone use that phrase in my life'
>'do they want a dictionary definition of each word? what the fuck?'
>silence for 10 seconds
>get nervous because I haven't said anything
>their faces are all fixated on me, almost pleading with me to say something
>now I've forgotten the words they even said
>my mind is completely blank
>no one has made a sound for 30+ seconds
>i cant talk
>open my mouth and basically croak at them
>it sounds like im choking
>dont even remember what i said
>they decide to 'skip the question'
>interview ends shortly after
>the one guy cant even look at me as he shakes my hand
>no job, no callback
it still haunts me bros

>>49889332
Lol

>>49889053
+A

>>49888443
you should have at least said that much

>>49889332
It's okay dude, it's in the past now

>>49889109
same. i don't like to pretend i'm better than some other poor faggot. i don't like to pretend i give a fuck about their company like they do all day. maybe when i'm really in need i'll see things differently though

about to have an interview for a marketing/community management position at a crypto exchange in about 45 minutes time. havent rehearsed shit. what should I say?

>>49888550
You're just like me, but also I daydream wayyyyy too much!

>>49889984
Yeah.. I hate the pretend shit.
End of the day 1. Job seems tolerable and doable 2. I don't think I'm special. I'm just another guy trying to live a half decent life. That should be it for personal questions. 10 second process, not all these games. It's like 50% of a job is an acting career.

>>49888414
>Tell us about yourself?
I will always be a farmer at heart. I come from a family of farmers, and even though they directed me towards getting educated, they nevertheless instilled farmer disciplines into me. I think the little farming I did during summers and weekends shaped my personality and forced me to cooperate with people, be patient, and know how to deal with losses and gains.
>Why should we hire you over someone else?
I believe in cultural diversity. It will always be an advantage for a team to have members from different background. One is that suburban guy, the other is a beachboy from the city. Another is of an immigrant background. I can be the farmer boy that brings in a different perspective and a different approach.
>How do you keep yourself organized?
I am old fashioned and heavily rely on pen and paper. With technology surrounding our lives, I need a medium that is outside of the reach of computers. In the morning I write down what I need to do for the day, and in the evening what I had to do and didn't think of it in the morning. On the weekends I compare notes from one day to the other. I learned this from my grampa.
>Why do you want to work for this company?
For some reason I can see myself working here for a decade. On one hand the company looks stable, and on the other it looks to be on the way up so there is an opportunity to grow.
>Why are you interested in this role?
Because it gives me an actual challenge. I want my work to feel like an adventure, and adventures have their risks, challenges, and maybe periods of stress.
>How do you handle stress?
I always remind myself that stress is just a temporary state of activity of my brain. Humans were made to become stressed when they have to face extreme challenges and perform at the highest of their abilities. You just need to channel that stress into productivity and not be consumed by it.

>>49888414
>How would you approach a situation in which you were given a task but didn’t receive complete instructions?
First, figure out the scope of my task: what I must do, and what is not related to my task.
Second, what tools might help me? Start gathering those tools even if I might not need them in the end.
Third, ask people around. Whether it is superiors or peers, get as much info as possible.
Lastly, experiment. Try SOMETHING. Most inventions were discovered by trying different stuff until it clicked.

THERE. I bullshitted through an interview on the spot. I'm not even a farmer but I have a relative who is. I don't believe in diversity of any kind. This is why I have a job and you don't.

>Tell us about yourself?
Literally how are you supposed to answer this if you have no friends or hobbies?

>>49890189
Lie. If you find it hard to make up stuff, pretend to have the hobby of a relative or a friend you know well. In my last interview I pretended to be a farmer (my uncle). In the next one I will pretend to be a painter (my cousin). I will know to answer every single question about painting they throw at me because beforehand I will sit down with my cousin and ask her tons of questions about painting.

>>49888414
>How do you handle stress?
I have a prescription.

Is this a sufficient answer?

>>49890189
>>49890227
This, it took me years and years to realise this one truth (kek the irony). I lie on everything from resume to cover letter all the way into the job. Just don't get too far fetched and mix some grains of truth in so you don't get immediately caught out.

>>49888414
>Tell us about yourself?
Who’s “us”? It’s just me and you in here boss
>Why should we hire you over someone else?
So you get to stop interviewing
>Why do you want to work for this company?
I need money to live
>Why are you interested in this role?
You seem to trade money for my time
>How do you keep yourself organized?
>How do you handle stress?
>How would you approach a situation in which you were given a task but didn’t receive complete instructions?
Are you really asking me for life advice? I’m not a therapist.

>>49888414
>How would you approach a situation in which you were given a task but didn’t receive complete instructions?
Tell my Boss' Boss about it as any upstanding employee would do

>>49888531
So true. If I have the skills for the job then what should I do to convince you that I can do the job that my resume doesn’t already explain?

>>49888550
Some people do this. You are fine.

>>49888443
Just fucking lie. Say whatever normie shit that crosses your mind.

>>49888304
my hobbies? heh...

good

>>49888443

>>49888735
Only say what you need to. Silence is okay you don’t need to fill it in.

>>49891961
Uh, maybe prove you have the capacity for daily, regular, social interactions with others? The interview is essentially a gatekeep for socially stunted individuals. If you pass their examination of whether youre a social retard that will make the work day wierd for everyone, then you get to move on in the hiring process.

>>49888277
I literally shit myself, no joke
I remember preparing for that day for 2 weeks since it was my first interview, maybe I should have just stayed at home investing in shitcoins like lace.

>>49888277
You gotta learn to just blurt things out.
>Q: What do you do when your crypto stack blows up?
>A: You’ve got a really nice freight elevator. Eight thousand pounds capacity. That’s a lot of ammo for a Gatling gun.

>>49888414
> How do you handle stress?
I cut back on the coffee. When there’s not enough stress I switch to caffeine pills. Employees can still socialize taking caffeine pills, just need to be efficient.

>>49888550
Yes anon it is a totally normal thing to do and anybody does it. What a total retard who the fuck has to talk to himself out loud instead of having talking internally? What do you mean faggot you are doing it too. Man fuck you but I don't do it like he does and this is different. Whatever you say faggot

>>49888277
>>49888414
This happens to literally everyone. It doesn't matter if you fail. What matters is that you can fail and persevere, fail and keep fighting for the future victory. When you do that, you don't have failures, you merely have experiments and training exercises. Misfortune exists to be conquered, and in that sense it is a good thing because the opportunity to conquer it ennobles you above those who never experienced misfortune.

>>49888277
I feel you so deeply

>>49888277
you go for an interview, not therapy

>>49888277
if I say that I am an investor in cryptocurrencies would they hire me or would they chop me up? the experience speaks well of oneself, even if my bags are only of vinu

>>49888414
I could come up with an answer to each of those in milliseconds. Just mention stuff that normie-recruiters want to hear. For example, don't mention being 10 times better than niggers and pajeets when they ask you why they should hire you over others. They want to hear about your skills instead. Don't mention benzos when they ask you how you deal with stress, etc. You get the idea.

>>49890047
>It's like 50% of a job is an acting career.
By what I read on this board definitely. Idk if that really happens often in Europe too

>>49888277
stood? what kinda shit shack were you interviewed in?

>>49888776
never had a job underage retard, it’s all a masquerade and u’re supposed to play ur part. u’d never get a job with those answers.

>>49888443
next time say you like exoteric eastern animation, study finance as a hobby and volunteer at autism center frequently.