/biz/ - Business & Finance

I actually dont mind them, and i was neeting up until 25 years old, now 27, i just lie.

>>49433341
at least you're getting interviews

>>49433341
i've been on over 20 of them. the key to getting an offer is to subtly, gently, very respectfully imply that the company is currently not living up to its potential and that your involvement would be the key to getting it there. dont be cocky or abrupt. be specific, bring data or industry insights. try to understand what the company's blind spots are, or how the competition is doing better than them in some key metric, and relate your qualifications to improving that metric or giving them better "visibility" into those blind spots. don't suck up to the company. very, very subtly put it down.

>>49433785
> very subtly put it down
Example?

>>49433341
i love job interviews. I love getting to just bullshit and improv

>>49433842
>i noticed on the investor presentation slide deck from May that the company is poised to be affected by (regulatory change) in Q3, specifically in regards to (operational process/outcome). i listened to the year-end call from (company's largest competitor) and they said the same thing. but i noticed that (competitor) has streamlined (new process, led by these type of people) in order to tackle this (regulatory change)
>fortunately, if (company) is having this same issue, and your investor slide deck alludes that it might, my qualifications mirror the types of people that (competitor) employed to implement (new process) that has allowed (competitor) to continue to lead this sector.

They should just give us their money to work from home. Wouldn't that be like a dream come true pepe?

>>49434178
that's pretty cheeky anon
is that something you made up just now, or did you actually put in the work to find out about all that?

How many work from home jobs do you guys have? Max I had was 4 at one point but they were on to me right away. I was fucking up a lot with 3 so now I'm down to only 2. The triple salary helped for a while though.

>>49434178
It's like a circus act. Just fucking HIRE me for my SKILLS

>>49434350
its just a template. if you know the industry well, you can research stuff like this with maybe one hour of work at most. the only problem is if they call bullshit and start asking you in-depth follow-up questions to see if you're full of shit. don't worry about talking about yourself. talk about the company, the competition, and the industry. no one gives a fuck where you see yourself in five years. they care what they're going to do increase margins

>>49433468
wtf are you me
recently started lying my ass off every interview and I feel like a dumb fuck for not doing it earlier

>>49433341
Just make up your mind to never wage again. Why not start your own business? Fuck licensing, just do it and hide the profits so they can't steal them when you get caught.

>>49433341
I hate technical interviews with those stupid leetcode assesments more than anything.

>>49433341
It's weird, I'm an awkward motherfucker who has a hard time having conversations but I like job interviews because I find the short stint of mind games and manipulation actually kinda fun
</blog>

>>49433785
unironically this is pretty good advice if done without being an autist

>>49434383
Anon its all a song and dance. Especially if you are unfortunate enough to be stuck in the office. Everything is just bullshitting and asskissing. Meetings for no reason, company events no one wants to go to but feels pressured into going to, "work attire" when no one gives a shit what each other looks like, after hour drinks with the boss for "team building" when we all know no one is staying with this crappy company for more than 5 years. Its all a fucking bad joke and the sooner you realize that and plan accordingly the sooner you can exit this clown world and follow your dreams.

>200 interviews
>still unemployed at 26
it's over, i can't find my first job, i graduated 4 years ago and started looking for a job this year. I think it's over if you have a 4 year c.v. gap like me. No entry level job in stem is going to hire me. I don't want to do warehouse or some other dead-end jobs.

>>49433341
So do I, it's degrading.

>>49433785
>i've been on over 20 of them. the key to getting an offer is to subtly, gently, very respectfully imply that the company is currently not living up to its potential and that your involvement would be the key to getting it there. dont be cocky or abrupt. be specific, bring data or industry insights. try to understand what the company's blind spots are, or how the competition is doing better than them in some key metric, and relate your qualifications to improving that metric or giving them better "visibility" into those blind spots. don't suck up to the company. very, very subtly put it down.
I like this strategy.
What titles are you going for though? Product manager? 'Strategy'?

I'm so fucking done with software engineering, it's insane. I pretty much stopped writing any code for my team and just try to do other stuff now; stil getting paid fine.

I caught up with my old college friend that studied public policy and he told me he "just likes managing people and making decisions"...the fuck? Me too, so I figured I would find any way to get out of autistic coding and into "making decisions"

>>49436081
Also every other day i see youtube video of some "entrepeneur", usually a woman who starts her own business like baking cakes or something and it's wildly successful and this just makes it worse that people my age have accomplished so much.

>>49436081
>>200 interviews
bullshit

>apply last month
>get offer this month
>ok your contract starts next month
These kikes just assume I have a pool of savings? What's taking so goddamn long hr roasties?

>>49433341
Same. Number one obstacle for me.

>>49433341
I've never had to do a job interview since my first job at 19. I make 180k TC

>>49436214
How the fuck

>>49436099
amazing. Thank you, anon. Will copy this strategy.

>>49433785
Interesting. What job title would "ideas guy" be? I have a lot of good ideas ( i tell some to friends of mine and they agree). I'm not great at the rest of the production process though.

>>49436292
I work in data science and I make videos showcasing all my projects, and this is work I do for companies which employ me. from their perspective they allow it as long as it's not confidential info. from my perspective, it builds my image as a technically proficient self-sufficient end-to-end deliverer within my domain of expertise. because of this I get job offers purely based on my past experience and I have never had to do a technical interview. the honest truth is I would probably fail a relatively basic DS&A interview too lmao

>>49433785
If you’re going to do that and all the research that goes into it 20x you should just be a consultant instead of trying to get a job because what you outlined is literally the job of a consultant and they bill high.

>Anon, the background check came through and brought up some red flags. After cross-referencing LinkedIn and a variety of proprietary databases, the number you provided us turned out to be your father's retired friend. On top of this, the secretary of state has no known LLC filings for "Family and Son Burgers" through the fiscal year 2017. Care to explain before we pursue legal action?"

>>49436438
kek

>>49436416
how do i get into consulting? i've thought of that but never seriously considered. any consultants here?

>>49434383
this example alone is an actual skill people need to have to get certain positions. If you can't properly curate and convey information like this (which most of you autists cant) you can fuck right off for any managerial positions.

there are a lot of BS jobs that require zero skills and only charisma, but example above isn't an excerpt from one of those

>>49436177
don't forget the probation period

>>49433468
I think OP is talking about real job interviews not the ones for the local grocery store.

I hate Philippines so much it's unreal. Racist towards white poeple so much it's unreal. (They act nice but they will give you 3x or more price on everything just because you're white). Getting the fuck out of here in a few weeks and hoping someone nukes the place.

>>49433341
>Fourth job interview for the same fucking position, process has been ongoing for over a month
>Am told I more or less have the position at this point but am forced to go through this dog and pony show
Why are the blueballing me so hard bros...

>>49433341
I'm about to just do doordash, I just quit walmart a week or two ago, it was crushing my soul

>>49438124
>Am told I more or less have the position at this point
oh no no
ahahahaha

>>49438124
They're bullshitting you, you would have received an offer no later than a week after the first interview

> be me
> 6 years of industry experience in Linux kernel development as a consultant
> basically worked for 6 fortune-500 companies.
> modern sw development practices
> disciplined

i applied canonical(ubuntu creator) last month.
they have ~8 steps for interviews. after 4th interview you will speak with real person.

they asks, 200x
> alice is taller than martin.
> who is not short ?
200 times. no kidding. questions like this, 200 times.
and after that, they have a personality test. which you must choose 2 options across 6(3+3).
> i am good at helping other, i am getting bored easily.
this was the most normal option you can choose. other options were directly disqualifying you anyways.

so result?
> thank you for choosing us but we are not gonna continue with you.

this is the status of software engineering industry. i just attended web3 related hackathon right after that, i am developing my own business case & web3 solution now.

i just hate those filters. i felt like a monkey while answering 200x "who is not taller" questions.

>>49436364
damn that's smart

>>49438250
That's because nobody who's actually skilled gets a job with an interview, you get one with connections.

>tfw never had an interview
>tfw given free money and job by family

Phew, thank god Im a chosen one. But I probably struggled like you did in past lives

>>49433341
fuck me i'm gonna have to go through countless interviews again this year once my internship ends

>>49438250
linux is dead.

At least in the USA you burgers can fake it till you make it and lie for your history and background

In canada employers can check your background and employment history, so its difficult to fake it. I faked my my work history before, and during an interview they mentioned they couldn't find it. They just simply chose not to continue with me.

Some companys don't check that deep into your background in canada, but its hit or miss. Some just check basic criminal shit and thats it, some wanna probe your anus and make sure your not lieing about your experience

shit is rough here

>>49433785
wtf are u even talking about

>>49438526
You also need ur vax id as well?

Take phenibut, piracetam, phenylpiracetam and choline before your job interview. It will lower your anxiety and enhance your speech/enunciation. I'm not a social butterfly, like most of you, but in a job interview you'll be judged even if you mis-speak a few words so this combo is like a temporary +50 speech buff. Then once you get the job, you can turn back to your introverted autistic speaking self like me and they can't fire you (unless you really suck at the job).

Great combo for dates too. But don't use phenibut more than 1 time a week or you can get seriously addicted. Do not use with alcohol either.

>>49438581
It's basic social game.

"you guys aren't bad but could be better with my help if you know what I'm saying"

>>49433341
Wait until you start working

>>49438773
> senior: do this thing with this inefficient method
> spend more time than necessary on the tasks

> don't know how to do a thing, ask for help
> other senior: "be independent"
> end up spending time trying to figure it out by myself despite having tried for a while already

> manager later on: you should be at a point where you should be doing your tasks at a faster point, won't continue with your contract

>>49438137
>>49438176

Faggots, you thing your ancestors enjoy hunting shit ? You do what you have to do to thrive, or you are not a man. Smh this board is a disgrace

In 2000 years we'll have posts "oh I hate having to walk to get my cumbot so hard phew" faggots

>>49438124
Tell them you got an offer from another company and you need then to give an offer within 3 days or you'll have to accept the other one. If they actually want you then they'll give you an offer, if not then you won't be wasting your time anymore.

>>49436118
Maybe her cakes are just really good. If there is something you like to do or are good at you should try selling it too.

>>49436438
>legal action?
Not illegal.

>>49438114
>I hate Philippines so much it's unreal. Racist towards white poeple so much it's unreal. (They act nice but they will give you 3x or more price on everything just because you're white). Getting the fuck out of here in a few weeks and hoping someone nukes the place.
where are you going to instead?

>>49438367
>That's because nobody who's actually skilled gets a job with an interview, you get one with connections.
This is also how people without skills get connections, even moreso.

They're are two tiers of job I'd say: cushy ones that actually matter, mostly given out to friends/relatives/in-group and then there are those that are so obscure/actual work/low compensation/etc that they need to post it to the cattle.

>>49436081
I had like a 15 year gap in my cv. Go to a community college with a job placement at the end--in Canada they are called co-ops. If you don't get the first one, do another 2 year thing. Anyway once you get your college job placements, there will be enough time passed that it pushes out the gap and you are back on track.

>>49436081
>i graduated 4 years ago and started looking for a job this year.
Lie and say tried starting a business or say you worked at [[ LLC your friend made ]] as [[ title ]]

You need to fabricate something because going from a degree, where you are supposed to follow up with entry level on the job learning, to 4 years of what? NEETing playing vidya?

...ya that doesn't sound too appealing. I'd rather take a 22 year old fresh grad vs someone that's going to not have the content as fresh and is certified lazy

>>49436438
>Yeah here is my response "niggers tongue my anus"

>>49441467
I have to battle the temptation to use that as security questions and passwords.

>>49433785
Helo McDonald you don't sell enough burg but with me here I'll sell more burg than now plz hire me thanks

>entry level job
>retarded HR whore: "you don't have experience doing this entry level job so we can't hire you"
What is wrong with this fucking market
Why are these literally retarded whores being put in charge of hiring

>>49440906
>>49436081
Definitely lie. Lying is literally the only way to actually get hired because HR is fucking thick. Just lie. None of these jobs require degrees. You're now the chief of -whatever bullshit entry level you're applying for- and you've been doing it for 20 years.

>>49436118
>>49439619
>it makes it worse that there are fake videos showing actors who claim to be rich if only you buy their secret book that teaches you how to be rich
I've seen this scam before.

>>49442428
>entry level job
>must have 5 years experience

>>49442579
>10 years of experience
>Minimum wage

>>49433785
what kind of job interview requires you to do any of this except top level management positions? even then, i figure it's mostly related to CEO and president interviews...VPs you could simply get by with outlining your general approach of corporate direction rather than having any sort of idea for the company itself.

>>49442428
I dunno man, it was like that for me when I was applying for my current job. Now that I put my new title on LinkedIn I'm actually get spammed by recruiters for senior roles, and when I tell them I don't have that experience they say they are looking for someone without the concrete experience who can be mentored. But their official job app says they want you with the experience.

It's all a clusterfuck