/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>49414650
My dick.

>>49414650


New idea, adjustable bras, everyone take their top off I'm doing field research

>>49414650

An actual decision.

>>49414650
this sickass 15 minute presentation you told me to make about the new product launch

Bobo’s Crab Shack 2:
Snib & Doompa

In a room like that, I wouldn't have one ounce of fear. I could (most of us men could) bs our way through some presentation infront of women convincingly easy.

>>49414683
Anon we already have those. What about thiese male anal penetration toys we came up with? Bend over. We're doing field research.

>>49414729

Having male only anal toys is sexist and doesn't fit in the broad market

Speaking of broads one of you dames better spread those cheeks

I have a real estate proposal for the meeting…I call it Fuck City.

52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market.

It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah, I don't have a husband."

This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in Fuck City.

> Zzzzzippppp

> *THUD*

Sorry, dropped my phone.

> plep

>>49414650
It's nice knowing you're the smartest person in the room, even if you have to pretend you're not.

Let them squabble and squawk over whatever, and once you've let them all speak for a bit, interject like you're agreeing with the most popular one she drop a clue in to help them solve the problem you worked out the answer to 20 minutes ago.

The meeting will take longer than it should, but this is how you harmoniously work with women. At first.

Over time, they will start to defer to you, and then you can start to move at a proper speed like when you work with men.

I'm a single lady, I'm a single lady...

OH OH OH OH OH OOOOH

OH OH OH OH OH OOOOH

>>49414664
Hahaha, oh boy, they didn't see that coming. But mostly because your dick is so small.

>>49414664
fpbp

>>49414650
Hi yes, who will be doing the acknowledgement of country at the next meeting? Day dream for 15 minutes while they discuss it. God i love working in government

>>49414650
"Why was this meeting not planned in advance? What is this meeting even for? What is the agenda? I have multiple projects I am working on so a heads up before dragging a senior into a meeting would be great. You fucking mongoloids"

>>49414650
my big ten inch

>>49414650
Only incels and idiots complain about working with women.

>>49416557
80% of my company is women. They're fine.

>>49414650
UHHH COCK STOCK IS STILL UP, I MEAN... COCK STOCK IS STILL UP, I MEAN C-COCK, COCK IS STILL UP, I MEAN COST STOCK IS STILL UP 24% OVER THE PAST YEAR.

>>49414650

So it acts simultaneously as an acid and a base, and it will completely redefine industrial chemistry.

>>49414729
A room full of women want to stand around giggling amongst themselves while they milk my prostate onto a conference table?
Splendid.

>>49414828
I've made a huge mistake

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef

>>49414650
I just want to say that I will fuck all you bitches with the large cock!

Just got back from the business warehouse. They say go home and do your husband's laundry.

Alright proudboys listen to this I call it the “Donald Trump fuck machine” it’s a machine that looks like Donald Trump and I pay it $1million to fuck my asshole raw. The market is all the chudincels on 4chan we can change it out for other white rich people too it will sell because they don’t want to be incels anymore and a rich white man can solve the problem for them. I know it’s worked for me I almost thought about getting a job after 6 years worth of getting my asshole fucked and also instead of thinking about killing innocent people because I’m a retarded pussy piece of shit loser I thought about just killing myself instead all thanks to the “Donald Trump fuck machine”.

>>49414650
We're going to short bitcoin but I need you all to participate if we're going to make this work.

>>49417773

>>49417790
I honestly just feel bad for him. Having to live while looking like that must be hellish.

>>49414650
>the business meeting
oh yes business
>What do you have for us?
you called a meeting on the off chance of me having something?
>yes i'm a woman
this office is hot af btw

>>49417975
YWNBAW

>>49414650
i'll take the fat milkers on the left, get this fist pounded

>>49418042
Are you forgetting your green arrows?

2,7,1,5,6,7

A new energy drink called jizz. Creamy, satisfying, caffeine free and nutritious

Welcome to my office, and thanks for attending, everyone.

After reviewing last quarters ROI on our marketing budget as well as recent CAC in the B2B segment, I've concluded our SRD needs to adapt to a new strategy. ABC is not the mantra we need in times of TikTok, Facebook, and the Metaverse. As a modern company aware of the cultural challenges facing our customer base and with a responsibility of keeping a strong P/E in face of global recession, me and my team have designed a new strategy following a simple, six-step plan.

1) Negotiate all currently running contracts and sales partnerships with our partners. I believe a lot of value can be uncovered from reviving as well as re-evaluating the value of some of our partnerships.

2) Integrate cross-department functions to release some more synergies. Do we really require separate departments for LGTBQ+ AND non-white minority inclusions? I consider both to be of highest importance.

3) Generate new sources of revenue. Push a stronger marketing campaign including iconic, inclusion-heavy imagery.

4) Grant higher wages to some of our hardest-working employees, like the truckers managing and keeping our supply chain alive.

5) Earnings are key. Push every open key account until they either close with us, or stop bothering them. I believe our Key Account Management is currently leaving a lot of money on the table, though.

6) R. O. I. Return. On. Investment. Do some actual cost-benefit evaluations. Do not just run after high numbers without using your head.

I want all of you to implement this plan in departments. All offices and meeting rooms, cubicles, and external communication has to show the new acronym of the strategy our company is following. Just like Alec Baldwin's A-B-C, create and show people movies of spelling it out. It has to become the mantra of our company. It's what I personally stand for, and I want you to stand for it as well.

Thank you for listening, now back to the cage.

>>49414650
here is my pitch
>BitDAO

>largest treasury in the market
>38th largest ETH holder
>more than 200,000 ETH in its treasury
>major investors like ByBiy and Redbull Racing
>investing hundreds of millions of dollars into new projects

okay bye

>>49418520

>>49414650
sell everything

Good evening, gentlemen. Pardon my late arrival but i was stuck in the traffic and had to remove my shirt because the heat started to get a little uncomfortable, i hope it is of no bother to you.

Without further ado, i would like to introduce you the newest unicorn in the making. As the rest of my colleagues have told you, there are certainly a lot of promising investments, but none of them take into account the time it takes until a coin is seriously established. You need big names, marketing, a community, if only a good project and use-case would suffice, then the market would be very different.
Now i want you to pay attention to the chart A in page 3 index 5 on the PDF you all received on your mailbox this morning, you will see a chart showing the latest alts and shit coins that have pumped. You will see a pattern, out of all of those, the ones that consistently make a movement that benefits the interest of the market investment our company (/BIZ) does, are memecoins. They are fast to track, fast to get in, fast to get out, they are a high risk high reward that becomes low risk if you know what you are doing. Sadly, memecoins are treated like shit because they aren't the usual top of the line web 3 psycho-universal tech-savvy coin, but they are the best because they appeal to the mainstream, they have a low entry point in both knowledge and price, and they touch one of the most sensible fivers in all of the consumers: they have memes in them.

Now, you don't want a shitty memecoin, you want the top of the top, and to be the top you have to see the tops. Doge and SHIBA, what do they have in common? they both were backed by proverbial figures like Elon and Ryoshi. Now, those two certainly made an impact, while Elon is well known for his backing of crypto, Ryoshi is the case i want to focus on. He's a literal self made man, he's the man of the community, he was born into it and made no foul use of it when SHIBA started pumping. He's respected and appraised.

>>49419606
Now Ryoshi is absent since the SHIBA fiasco were it dumped to hell, he was already leaving because the devs started to turn against him when he didn't back up their plans to sell out SHIBA. He went missing and radio silent for a couple of months, but he's back. He's back on twitter, on Medium (profile pic changed) and on telegram, where he is known by a different moniker.

>Always promoting the same coin (which he created): QOM, surname "The Shiba Flipper".

This is a personal vendetta against the devs who kicked him out of his own project.
Could this be another impersonator? I don't think so, considering the amount of proof and that an official announcement is expected soon. Now, people don't know about this yet, but some news have been spreading. Seeing that the coin has pumped and pumped since the medium profile pic was changed, its only a matter of time since it becomes a trending coin. There's an even better proof of this claim, seeing that Vitalik has been spotted hanging around a group of men, one of them whose attire always includes a necklace that shows an eagle, and what's QOM's icon? That's right, a bald eagle.
When asked about this, Vitalik just smiled.

For this gentlemen i assure you now is the best time ever to accumulate large quantities of QOM. Remember, the early bird gets the prey.

>>49419637
Thanks Carl,ill see you in my office. That will be all. Gentleman, it's been a pleasure

>>49419657

>>49419606
>>49419637
>>49419657
>>49419674
I appreciate the theatrics, but im not reading all of that

>>49414650
We have to shift ALL of the companies assets to precious metals and monero. I cracked the code

>>49419606
>>49419637
>>49419657
>got a friend to post with him
that's just precious anon

>>49419637
>Remember, the early bird gets the prey.
KEK

>>49414720
yeah working with bitches is fine, just don't be ugly and you're in ezmode

>>49419637

>>49419768
you get friends around here?

>>49419696
tl;dr: "buy my coin"
>>49419831
i want people that would baghold my coin with me, at least that way it wouldn't feel so bad if i lost money

>>49416590
Hey look everyone. This guy has sex

>>49419606
>>49419637
>>49419657
>>49419674
im surprised the chart isn't edited and it is actually pumping huh

>>49414664
flop it out on the table

>>49419606
>>49419637
your efforts might be a little misplaced dudes, that fact is that the market is going to hell and there's nothing you can do about it, there's people who will win for sure, i don't think memecoins will survive the market. Could be wrong, your coin might be a unicorn but i've already lost so much money on crypto that all i see is doom

>>49414650
It’s no meeting Tuesday. Get the fuck out of my office roasties

>work is 80% woman
>one day at home have several ideas for company
>split every single one of them into 4 "small ideas" each
>tell one of them every meeting
>job praises me like a god
>other guys do the same
God its so easy to fool woman

>>49414685
I don't disagree with you but the way you do things isn't very inclusive. We should talk about everything for several hours reaching no conclusion and getting nowhere while forming cliques like we are in high school further making any progress impossible. I am going to re-schedule this meeting, if that's ok with everyone else, and go back to sending bitchy e-mails to half the staff for no reason.

>>49414650
Did I walk in on the fucking secretary conference call?

Working with all women is fucking awesome. You're like a god if you're the only man there.

>>49414650
sell it all and stake on holoride metastaking program for it fixed 25% Apy, and let's run this company from home.

>>49414650
A framed photo of my balls

>>49414650
So um the Computers are running slow because of network congestion. I'll just run a couple programs that'll clean up unwanted background apps for the time being, but streaming videos at 4k can be a bit taxing on our network.