/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>47351
Sell burgers in America.

WINRAR.

Cocaine

a micropayment system where you can buy more than ten seconds to answer 4chan questions

Food truck.

Prostitution

>>47378
Selling XXXXL-tshirts in America.

Claim to be a Republican PAC that will spend your donations more efficiently to help save America and bribe the right politicians.

Buy ad space on gun forums and anywhere generally right wing.

Collect the money from credit card donations, spend it on hookers and blow, and sell their personal info to the Romanian mob.

>>47351
>posting on a business forum
>not operating a business

My friend and I make chairs like these that we reverse engineered and sell them at flea markets for 100 bucks. It costs $30.35 in materials to make one, and it takes about an hour total to run all the pieces through our band saw, make some cool curvy stuff on our router table, and drill everything in.

We're able to sell about 10 every weekend, and we're getting a little coffee table to reverse engineer this weekend.

$350 a week isn't bad for a bunch of high school seniors. If you don't live in 706 (don't want you bundas saturating my market), you should try it out.

Cheap guitar pedals that I make myself initially, using cheap bulk parts from China.

>>47351
>that fucking blue skull

dammit blue skull i already told you all my ideas when you made this thread yesterday. why don't you contribute something for a change?

>>47546

>>47546
>>47624

>>47470
Sounds like a great way to go to jail. Otherwise, it's flawless.

>go to berlin
>buy the empty lot the Fuhrerbunker is buried under
>build a pipeline down into whatever remains of the underground complex
>build a toilet on the surface
>charge people money to dump ass into hitler's grave

"adopt" plenty of children form underdeveloped countries with loose/fucked up politics and start your own underground "pedo heaven" prostitution business. bribe politics so they protect you and keep feds at bay.
secretly tape the many celebrities and politics that will eventually come for your services and become unattainable and extremely powerful via blackmail. proceed to advertise on /b/. get rich. have a loli harem. winrar.

OR

>create fake internet money that is backed by nothing
>create craptons of different versions of it based on autist shit.
>convince internet retards it is the "currency of the future"
>scam the shit out of those retarded suckers
>???
>profit

>>47847
It's not illegal if you don't get caught.

At November make a Christmas Hotline to "Talk with Santa about what you want"


During the summer do it again and go "Hey want to check up on Santa?"

>>48094
i'll take "shit that inmates say" for $500, alex

Begin an insect fast food chain.

>>48142
I'm assuming you mean selling insects as food, but the first thing that came to my mind was a tiny restaurant filled with tiny hamburgers that insects eat.

Holy fuck, I you could probably just sell those. That shit would be the new bird feeder; Bug Burgers

>>48184
>Bug Burgers
I leld

But I don't think anyone is going to bother to feed their animals burgers.

>>48184
>BUG BURGERS
with a side of
FLY FRIES!

this needs to happen

>>48218
There are men out there who would enjoy cooking their dogs burgers. I can see it now..

>>48245
there is beer for dogs on ThisIsWhyI'mBroke

Collect welfare.

SHOE REPAIR STORE THAT SELLS GOLF EQUIPMENT SO YOU CAN GET YOUR CLEATS FIXED WHILE YOU TEST OUT THE LATEST PITCHING WEDGES AHHH PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

>buy 3D printer
>print anime figures
>sell to NEETs on the internet
alternatively:
>buy old video games and other nerdy shit at yard sales
>sell at a markup on the internet

Is it wrong that when somebody tells me to come up with a business model, basically all of the ideas I come up with are punishable by at least ten years in prison?

Erotic books.

Painting subcontractor.

>>48218
They wouldn't be real burgers, they'd be made out of bug bait or some shit. You know like that stuff they put in roach motels, but with less poison.

Hell you can sell the burgers and any other food in separate packages for when people run out and introduce new shit like bug nachos or bug nuggets.

BUG NUGS! Holy shit I'm on a roll.

Mail food service for NEET bitcoin miners who don't want to leave home. Cater specifically to them (Cheetos, Mountain Dew).

>>47474
hmm could work.

first store to actively discrimate vs fatties, charge per square inch of cloth.

you'll prob have fat feminists from tumblr wiping shit on your clothes though.

Windproof furniture and signs

>get 3D printers
>print series caricatures of users of various websites
>each website has a number of different characters (ex: 4chan has /pol/, /b/, /r9k/; tumblr has otherkin, feminists, homestucks)
>sell on the internet from a grab bag with tagline, "collect them all!"

Scalping tickets to major sporting events and concerts.

Open shop in convenient location selling items which people desire

>>48429
what do you mean "windproof" furniture? like lawn chairs that don't blow away?

Bake and sell delicious cookies.
Accept most forms of crypto currencies as an option.
Bank on one of them taking off.

Purchase scrap metal from 3rd world countries, export to china.

Sell a mixture of horse semen and shampoo and call it an "anti-oxidant retro-aging moisturizer" or some shit like that.

Mining Thorium

>>47351
Liquor Store

Francium mining

Clean and Polish a quarter and tell people "GENUINE AMERICAN COIN" for 20 fucking dollars

City Architecture

>>47472
>reverse engineered
its a fucking Adirondack chair there are about 10,000 plans floating around why would you need to reverse engineer shit?
I bet you use pine you fucking hack

Steal Carl Icahn's identity.

Most national sports leagues

chicken finger fast food restaurant in a college town

Television shows about dumb people

Social Network???

Those porn ads

a meme altcoins

money laundering through making online currencies

Gather scrap metal from people headed to a dumpyard. Take it to a recycling center instead. You'll get paid for it.

>>47351
Krokodil for kids

...fuck

>>49374
One day drugs will be legalized for research on volunteers... one day...

Maid Arcade.

Like a maid cafe, except with video games.

Start opening Dojo's around the world selling/teaching "Brazilian nin-jitsu"

all request porn
it works like commission

Open a "spiritual sanctuary" shop and claim to be a real shaman and sell edgy liberals and "spiritualists" mescalin journeys.

You'll make real shamans shed a tear but you'll rake in all that upper middle class money. And if the cops try to shut you down claim that what you're doing is part of your religious freedom.

>>48802
>hack
please look up the definition of this word

take a couple hundred dollars and build a computer with a ton of LED fans then sell as a gaming rig for a few hundred dollars more.

>>47474
A garage that soups up mobility scooters for fat american NASCAR fans

Pet Cafe

It's similar to Japans cat cafes except that it's a pet store as well. You can get comfy with a coffee and look at animals while you're at it. Could be a fun place for people to hang out and first dates.

Cost of staff would be expensive since you'd need both baristas and pet staff. But it could pay off, especially in Australia where there's shit all to do. Pet and cafe sections would be separate of course for health and safety reasons, but you're allowed to roam freely between both areas. Cafe food and snacks are pet themed.

If only I had the funding to make it work.

>>49651
>Consuming anything at a pet store
Its as if you want to puke. You'd probably lose all your profits in Febreze trying to keep the place from smelling.

>>49703
cat and owl cafes are a thing, I wonder how they cope with the smell problem

PC gaming center in middle class area

Live in the back room and have self sustaining income whilst playing vidya with people

>>49651
>Idiot with cat allergy comes in, has an episode, then sues you for having cats

>>49434
how would that work?

well you could have the cafe part and pet store part on different sides

>>49793
I would guess anon would just operate an arcade, but the attendants all in maid outfits and acting moe. Maybe cheering you on when you play redemption games and hugging all the stuffed animals before they hand them over to you.
Unless you're in Japan, I can't imagine it lasting more than a year. Has anyone successfully done a permanent maid cafe in the US?

>>49739
>what is the Coase theorem

>>49739
>not having signs warning of allergies

Has any morbidly obese person been successful at suing mcdonalds? Serious question.

>>47472

>implying if I lived in your gay area I would give a shit

meteorite dildos

>>48315
this was my idea with the 3D printer. Do you need to know a lot of programming to input the dimensions and whatnot?

>>48374
I can see money in this. Also if you can mail liquor or beer, even better!

>>49975
yes, two teenage girls ate so much that they brought a lawsuit against McDolan's. I think they won but CBA to google it.

>>49729
I bet most build litterboxes with carbon filters and just air scents. What my brother did when his newborn came.

>>50038
There are devices and mobile apps where you can literally point a camera at your object from several angles and it'll output a model you can send to the printer. Though if you want it to look nice, you'll spend some time in a modeling program cleaning it up.

Copyright issues are probably a concern though.

>>50077
There are a lot of places that sell knock off anime figures. You might have a market there.

3d printed dildo materials and plans. We accept cryptocurrency and facilitate discrete at home sex toy construction.

>>50077
Wow that's awesome.

And I don't think the companies would mind if you sell some figures to a few friends or people online. I know when it comes to /k/ and their patches, no one bats an eye when they sell a Foxhound (MGS) patch or something from Upotte or STALKER.

Oh and there are DnD players, WoW addicts and the like that would pay to have a customizable figure of their own character.

Considering how often I see people charging their mobiles in random public places, a small booth or machines that provide mobile powerpoints could make money.

People could buy the machine then place it in bars, cafes, restaurants etc. Basically a hub where people could charge their devices safely and securely for a dollar or something. However the cost of electricity probably means it won't be lucrative.

>>50278
And think of the extra money you'll make selling their info!
http://krebsonsecurity.com/2011/08/beware-of-juice-jacking/

>>47351
sell drugs

so what are the main issues associated with selling drugs?

avoiding the law?
sourcing the product?
competition?
distribution?
demand?

>>50278
You might be able to do something like this in gyms. Have a terminal on exercise bikes and treadmills, the kinetic energy would provide energy for your devices.

>>50346
And dealing with a shady customer base. Disruptions in supplies (suppliers get arrested, drug shipments seized etc). Demand usually isn't an issue.

>>50346
The middle man between the growers and dealers is the best place to be it you are smart.

>Move bulk minimizing the time you have anything in your possession
>Blind swap through a door so those buying from you don't know you
>Buy from people that have served hard time, they didn't get off light because they don't rat
>Use the cash to pay bills in the post office, save 50% of your legit income
>HAVE A LEGIT INCOME, this is the most common mistake. Why can a guy with no income buy a house?

Hoarding military surplus.

Those who did it back in the 60's made a FORTUNE if they hung onto the stuff long enough. A $1 investment turned into many times over.

Ammo and firearms in general. It's not a short-term gain but the long-term profit is there, and with every scare comes opportunity.

>.22LR went for 10x+ it's retail value last year
>guns were going for 2-5x more retail value
>other forms of ammo doubled or tripled in price

>>47351
bitcoin ATMs

>>47351

You gather women and have people rent them to live out people's fetishes

>>50026
Are they dildos which fall from the heavens or are they made from meteorites?

>>49582
as in hack job retard

>>50428
This was something I've been thinking about for awhile but have no idea where to start purchasing and amassing my surplus. Ammo now is so expensive and many retail sport stores here in Texas place restrictions on how much you can buy a week.

What's your basic plan?

Simple. Purchase land in the western US where there were reports of REM deposits. Shit's simple, yo. Most of the land there goes cheap (last count it was maybe 300-1000 per ten acres in some rural counties), and when those reports go legit, lease the mineral rights ala ranchers in west Texas. Fuckers make a mint and don't have to do a single thing other than cash the checks.

>>48848
Raising Canes?

>>48347
If it's not immoral no, that just means the problem is big gov't

>>52159
Crates of Mosin Nagants. Buy them now while they're still in the low-$100's.

Short term off shore transport company.

You need equipment moved down the gulf? Im your man. I operate on ROLO barges that I lease from larger shipping companies looking to put more of their idle equipment to work.


I honestly came up with that in under 10.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV-4HH6BxY0

Taxi company that operates only with smart cars with no drivers. You use a computer to enter your location and destination on when you order the car.

But there's a twist.

The cars are minivans, and the back is furnished with a small bed and comfortable decorations. My taxi service is a sex rendezvous service, for those who don't have the means or home situation to be able to have comfortable sex at their places of living. The taxi picks both parties up, drives to a discrete location, waits for a time, then takes both parties home.

>>52809
I like it. The money's going to be in oil companies, mostly around the Gulf of Mexico. I'm not sure what kind of competition you'd have, though.

>>47351
Asian Rentals
You pay an hourly fee for a cool Asian guy to come over to your house and help you do homework, and give you life tips.

Power suits for the elderly!

>>55859
I meant armor, not attire, but you know what I mean. Old people are guaranteed income by social security and they want mobility. Pairing them with power armor just makes sense.

we sell scented diapers

room decorating

people pay me to decorate their room for the holidays or just in general

fee includes the cost of string lights, lanterns, candles, posters, paper snowflakes, and effort

i'm in college

>>52371
oh god yes. I have one that is a 3 minute walk from my dorm

Machine learning as a service.

>>49556
You'd make an absolute killing. People love drugs and hippies like my friends (and like I used to be and to some degree still am) LOVE being validated in their shamanic mumbo-jumbo. It already works for ayahuasceros in South America, you know it'll work here, and most people don't want to spend 14 hours flying to South America just to go on a vision quest.

Damn, you could make millions.

>>55873
>let this weird fat kid into our house

no thanks jeff.

alright i got an idea: remember the Futurama episode with Fry and the anchovies? he picks up his life where he left of in 1999 and says "I'm rich, I can live any time I want".

Well how about we start a business for rich fucks who want to do exactly that. We can advertise it like "spend a night in history" and have theme parties where we all get wasted pretending like we live in Egyptian times or the old West or as Romans or knights in the Middle Ages whatever.

we get someone to invest and we can buy costumes and shit like that, and we can have activities and shit to do from popular eras of history everyone's interested in. so for instance some rich fuck comes to us and wants to live for a day like it's Roman times. we can sell alcohol from that era, do a chariot ride, all kinds of fun shit. basically we just get whoever buys a night at our business drunk enough that they have a great time regardless of whether it's actually kinda lame or not. so it's like theme restaurants but taken to the Xtreme

>>55946
I'm not fat, thank you

>>55957
I would just want to go back to a time before feminism and be boisterous with my male friends and then fuck wimmin

they would never let it happen

Wedding photography

Buy some chickens. Or eggs. Doesn't matter really.

If chickens, feed them (they eat hardly anything, pennies worth of seeds) and wait for them to lay eggs. If you bought eggs, no worry, just wait for them to hatch and do the above with the newborn chicks.

Anyway, once you have a decent amount of chickens laying eggs, sell some chickens and eggs, but keep the rest to keep laying and expand.

Pretty soon you'll have a chicken and egg empire!

1)Buy a spade and a miner hat
2)Dig for gold
3)???
4)Profit!

Home theater installation

Start a Ponzi scheme

>open up a homeless shelter
>harvest organs
Easy peasy.

Used golf ball salesman. Just walk around the course and hunt through the bushes for stray balls. Sell them for 50 cents each or 3 for a buck. Free money!

Personal trainers for women

You know how there's itunes, the google play store, amazon primes, netflix, hulu plus etc?

What if, instead of streaming media to people's homes, you turn it into a social thing? Have a store or something where people can go to to get their media, and put it on a physical medium.

They could hire out the films for a set amount of time and you could charge a penalty if they don't return the media in time. Call it a late fee or something. You could even sell ice cream and bags of popcorn on the side.

>>56201
RIP :(

Make your own Gynecology service

You get mad dosh and get to touch women. Win-win.

>>56201
it's genius!

>>47953
I fucking died at the filename.

give the choice to 4chan users to be able to buy a pass that enables them to get rid of captcha and b& privilages

>>48876
this
lets make a show where dumb people feel smart
its really easy, just make jokes with scientificish words and nerdysh references, explain the joke afterwards and if the audience still doint get it, throw the laugh track for the sake of collectivism

A restaurant that serves squash based meals. Our trademark oven roasted squash and sauerkraut dish will be our most popular meal on the menu. The restaurant will be called Squashwitz.

offer outrageous sums of money for priceless homeless people.

Android sex slave

>Live in a decently populated area
>Repair PCs, phones and shit
>Steal information and sell it to ad companies
>???
>Profit!

>>47351
marijuana dildo that makes you high if you stick it into your hole

Sell lipbalm that actually dries out your lips in the long run, forcing you to buy more lip balm.
No wait, that've already been done.
How about selling candy in clothes-stores so that little teen girls eat up and get too fat to wear their newly bought clothes?
Nope, also been done.
I guess I failed you OP.

Mandatory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjj8eMNxivM

>>56654
lip balm is sold in cylindrical containers so that if you drop it, it might roll away and you can't find it, so you have to buy another one

>>55889
McNeese bro?

>>56668
Wow, who could know that lip balm was such a lucrative business?

You take out an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos.

You sell it with, I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", "the latest and greatest in sexual technology", "guaranteed results or your money back", all that bollocks.

Now, these dils cost twenty-five quid a pop. That's a snip for the amount of pleasure they're gonna give the recipients. But they send their cheques to the other company name – nothing offensive, er, "Bobbie's Bits" or something – for twenty-five quid. You take that twenty-five quid, you stick it in the bank until it clears.

Now, this is the smart bit. You send back the cheque for twenty-five pound from the other company name, "Arse Tickler's Faggots Fan Club", saying we're sorry, we couldn't get the supplies from America because they ran out of stock. Now, you see how many people cash that cheque: not a single soul, because who wants their bank manager to know they tickle arse when they're not paying cheques?

>build cryptocoin mining rigs and sell them off
>charge the cost of parts + 50%
>profit

its not harder then building your own PC.

SELLING GAS IN REALLY BIG CONTAINERS

BUT THEY ARENT FILLED ALL THE WAY QUITE

AT FULL PRICE

Rapture Ready.

I'm gonna start a business that hires atheists to take care of Christian's pets after the rapture.

>>47351
Whore Island.

>>57591

O.O

Its genius

>>57591
Fund it.

start a new fitness religious cult... kind of like cross fit + Scientology with some elements of yoga... specifically tailor it to upper middle class yuppies...

How about one of those Native American lending companies that charge 200% interest on loans, except instead of lending to individuals, it would lend small and mid sized businesses (either less creditworthy ones or junior grades of debt).

Sorry, that was like 20 seconds.

A retirement home that basically takes care of old people, but instead of the boring healthy food and boring activities, we get them steaks and ribs and serve them to the people using Hooters girls and Chip & Dale boys, and for activities, you can make them do whatever they want; from shooting guns to having sex. Of course, you charge them a shit ton of money, but if they're in a retirement home, they have the money to spare, plus it's something they might actually enjoy.

>>47351
Tutoring in Australia (esp South East) and North America. If you can capture the market you can capitalise on the increasing competativeness and incompetence of public schooling.

>>57572
>buying pre-packaged gas
>from some guy on the side of the road
>living in detroit

Individual bathrooms for urgent showers (dates, job interviews...)

>>58038
This is the best idea of the thread.

>>47351
Project insurance.

Information-Systems projects, which many companies invest money into over long periods of time, have a high failure rate.

>>47474
Big Dog already exists

>>48848
Alternatively, a 24hr fast food delivery service in a college town

Here in Japan they have these things that are handymen, and they do any job you want. For example you could phone one to come help you with your decorating, drive your car somewhere, pick someone up, pose whilst you draw them, have them cook your dinner, I mean they're like an all round kind of nigga.

Genius idea really.

>>47474
I've seen a store here that specializes in that. I think they go up to 10X

>>59132
That's what I want to do for a living.
Just fuck around and help people with random shit.

f2p mobile games with licenses to major franchises

>>47351

>Radioactive material destruction + Treatment center for victims of radiation
>Dump all the shit in the groundwater
>Treat the ever growing numbers of rad-victims
>Great success!

>>47351
A bar that doesnt have a sports theme and serves some shit that isnt deep fried or from frozen.

>show popular shows on TV
>no pool table
>show movies and have open mic nights
>have interesting decor

>>58761
I was thinking about pay toilets and something like this. You can model them after those fancy A380 lavatories that have showers.

They would always be clean and sanitized after each person uses the place. You can rent them out based on time. This would be great for people who want to live out of their business and need somewhere just to shower or people who commute from afar who want somewhere to freshen up before a night on the town after work.

cryptocoin exchanger without accounts. Throw BTC at it and you receive doge/lite to an output you've specified.

>>50038
There are actually online liquor stores in the US, but it's a bit of a hassle in most states, to say the least.

>>63090
I forgot: no questions asked, no papers required, no need to choose a password and account name.

>>63090
This could potentially very profitable. If you offered the option of BTC to USD it would be a majot gamechanger. And since there would be no accounts you could charge higher transaction fees. Good thinking man. Keeping track of who's who might be a little difficult, plus people would have more incentive to find a way to game your system

sell my jizz online to pedofiles saying im a 12 year old boy

>>63090
What about the feds? I feel like they might take a keen interest in this and try to nail you to the wall for not working to fact-check your money sources to prevent laundering.

Not that I agree with that, but FUCK, even the Poker crackdown was justified as "fighting laundering"

Imagination center.

Invent machine that can show a person's imagination/thoughts in real time including sound and advertise to story boarders, musicians, and artists.

>>63130
> BTC to USD
No can do, USD transfers are complicated (tm) and you'd be subject to all kinds of anti laundering laws. Go to an existing exchange for that.
>>63388
This is why you run it cryptocoin only. That way you can stick it in Tor.

>>47351
A dog brothel for your dogs have sex with other dogs.

buy panties in bulk
wear them
post pic of my hot cousin
say she wore them
profit

>>50368
There is already exercise equipment that powers devices through kinetic energy, apparently the YMCA in my area has a Temple Run clone fixed onto a stationary bike

>>58804
Most projects go way over budget.

>Sounds like and actuarial nightmare.

If you are an IS person consider being a business optimization consultant. Most small business owners are so swamped with day to day operations they don't have time or extra energy for optimization.

>Call up a struggling business offer very useful ways to improve their business or the systems they use. Offer to consult for a fee.

>>48448
pretty sure you're infringing copyrights somehow

Buy things for a low price and sell them at a higher price

>>58038
That's not really what old people like.

There's already a market for expensive as shit retirement homes.

Selling goods and services

Copy anime website
Sell passes for people who need to post faster
????
Profit

buy vps
sell minecraft servers to 12 year olds
ban often and charge $5 to unban

>>69764
$5 is too high.
Make it $3 and even the poor kids pay.

>>69616
you'd be surprised what you can slip away with if you avoid specific mention of 4chan/reddit

just call them things like "fatguy" and "ribbitor"

>>47351


i buy shit at a lower price somewhere and sell it at a higher price elsewhere.

i think its really a 'killer ap' that will revolutionize the boundaries of strategic business practices into the new age, i just need the start up money.