/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>443154
Have you had 0 difficulties in your life?

>>443154

Autism Betamax detected

Get a grip you fucking pussy

4/10 made me laugh

>>443154
Its fucking ridiculous how many of you want to make the big money without even having the basic skills of a human being.

>>443154
protip: act like a good wholesome upstanding citizen from a 50s public service announcement or ned flanders (figuratively)

protip: it is difficult to come up with an ideal response all the time every time, instead you should aim for more of a low ebb so you at least demonstrate you are competent, take things step by step, have a very no nonsense practical approach, if you do come up with any good ideas on the spot try to explain it methodically so there are no misunderstandings

>>443154
"I don't deal with difficult situations, I avoid them."

>>443154
>SO MUCH FOR GOING INTO AN INTERVIEW TRYING TO BE YOURSELF
>TRYING TO BE YOURSELF
>BE YOURSELF

dude i hate to rub salt in the wound here (jk no i don't), but "be yourself" is the same bullshit advice betas and women give you to attract women. Hint: If yourself sucks, "being yourself" will suck.

What they should say is "improve yourself," then you can be yourself. Or be your best self.

For relationships that means hitting the gym, getting your finances straight, etc.

For interviews, that means practicing basic social skills, I guess. It's not like that was a particularly difficult or out-of-left-field interview question, it's like HR 101 shit right there.

My best advice to those of you without any social skills: get some. How? Fuck, go outside your comfort zone once in a while. Go to a bar. Sit at it (don't sperg out and go home if you have to sit next to someone). Drink a beer. Chat with the guy next to you. Repeat. Do this a couple times per week and before you know it, you can handle basic social situations.

Or, just come up with an excuse to bitch about how unlucky you are.
> IM SORRY I HAVENT GOOGLED A COOKIE CUTTER STORY TO SPEW OUT LIKE ALL OF THE OTHER CANDIDATES

>>443187

fug dude i should have said that. i was literally just making up a story about a computer catching fire and having to put it out with a fire extinguisher. except i was wording it in a way that made no sense logically. why am i so stupid

>>443194
This shit's comedy gold.

What job were you applying for?

stop telling yourself that your life should follow the patterns of a story you narcissistic jerkoff

and go into therapy, you post within the profile for mass shooter

>>443154
Whenever I get asked that question, I explain how I dealt with people making fun of my job as a janitor on the internet on an anime imageboard.

Pic related.

>>443246

that job was pro-bono right

>>443251
yeah, I do it
>for free

>>443154
I hate bullshit questions too, OP. That's one reason that I prefer STEM, because they usually don't ask those bullshit questions as much. They still do though.

That's a bull shit question that gets asked by someone with bull shit interview skills, which happens quite a lot because people end up in a hiring position because they have a lot of technical knowledge but no one explained how to hire people, or it's someone who professionally hires people but has no concept of the technicals.

Get that spaghetti under control though.

>>443154

HOLY SHIT ARE YOU ME

I DID THIS FOR A MASSIVE OIL COMPANY INTERNSHIP

HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES CAN THEY ASK FOR A SPECIFIC SITUATION RELATING TO WORKING IN A TEAM

I WILL POST MORE SOON OP, THE STORY ENDS IN PARTIAL HOPE

>>443538

we are one in the same anon

>>443538
>>443154

I've spaghetti'd badly during an interview, but it wasn't on one of the "Tell me about a time..." questions.

>Get phone call one day, its the Federal Reserve asking if I'm still interested in internship positions I applied for
>Answer in the affirmative
>Tell me they already filled the two specific ones I applied for, but offer me to interview for another, more research oriented position. The interviewer gives a quick blurb of the jobs responsibilities and asks if I'd be interested.
>I say yes
>Interviewer does a quick preliminary interview and sets up a time for a second phone interview
>Be really excited, but I only remember the basic jist of what the position did, I try to find the internship online, but the only postings I find are for the two I officially applied for
>The next day I get the call for the phone interview
>Ace the general "teamwork" questions
>Questions start to get more oriented toward the specific job role, doing pretty gud
>Eventually the questions get detailed to the point where my basic knowledge of the position prevents me from tailoring my answers to the interview
>On the last two questions I give borderline non-answers
>"Alright Anon, thanks for your time, we'll call you if you get the job"
>They never called back

Whatever, I ended up with a F500 internship that paid better and gave me good private sector experience in the end.

>>443835
>gave me good private sector experience in the end

im sure you have tons of private sector experience in your end anon

>>443843
gold

>>443154
Guess what. They don't give a fuck about the content of the answers. They want to see if you can hold a conversation without having spaghetti fall out of your pockets. You lose.

>>443822

I failed about 12 - 14 internship interview processes in the previous academic year. On the bright side, I passed my previous two phone interviews and then failed both assessment centres. I have genuinely improved.

My spaghetti experiences last year:

>1st interview (last september)
>phone interview with investment bank
>literally bog standard interview questions with an HR rep, I'm sure I could pass now
>i just incoherently spaghetti the whole thing and it ends after less than 15 minutes

>2nd interview actually at investment bank in canary wharf
>was nervous and intimidated, first time I'd even been in a skyscraper
>1st interview with a saleswoman
>just barely manage to not go full spaghetti
>2nd interview with bond trader
>throat goes dry (or wet? I've no idea) and voice goes choked up because of nervousness
>talk very fast
>he even asks me mid interview if I want water
>at the end he even says something like, "That wasn't too bad, was it?"

>something like 4th - 6th interview
>on phone with investment bank
>woman asks me what some strategies of hedge funds are
>"...Hedging...?"
Although the rest of the interview was fine and I didn't really spaghetti. It actually gave me hope.

The worst was yet to come

>>444417

>later interview with oil company for engineering role (one I mention in my original post)
>by this time I've already taken notes about previous situations that can be used to answer questions and done my reserach on what they'll ask etc.
>interviewer is an engineer
>asks various types of competency questions, I think I'm hanging in there, and I haven't spaghettid
>HE THEN LITERALLY ASKS 5 DIFFERENT QUESTIONS IN A ROW STARTING WITH "NAME A TIME YOU WERE ON A TEAM AND XYZ...", EACH WITH FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS
>i didn't even have that many situation examples with me on a team
>the final one was "name a time you were on a team and working with people of different backgrounds"
>I instantly make up a scenario
>he asks the follow up question or maybe asks for more detail
>I hang up
>he phones again
>i instantly pick up the handset and hang up
>this repeats for like 2-3 times, this nigger won't leave me alone
>I then pick up and say there were technical problems
>he's still friendly and just says we should continue
>he asks his previous question
>i go silent for 5 seconds
>say I want to end the interview

To be fair to me, I have passed my previous two phone interviews after failing many more than the ones I mentioned. Also >>443256 is not true, engineering companies are filled to the brim with normalfaggots. The reason I got so many finance interviews is because finance companies care more about my engineering grades than engineering companies do.

I'm soon going to make a long list of made up and scenarios that I will use in interviews.

>>444420

you should get checked out for autism

>>443154
looks like the phone interview worked as intended
since it has zero use other than screening out the worst of the worst like OP

>HOW YOU HAVE DEALT WITH A DIFFICULT SITUATION IN THE PAST
"I used Google to find answers to my problem."

>>444420
Failed

>>443154
It's not about quality OP, it's about quality.

Every system can be gamed somehow. Some are worth putting real effort into, some you have to game becuase...fuck it.

I hope you do better in the future OP. Good luck :)

>>444417
Just so you know. Hedge funds do the opposite of hedging.

>>444471
>It's not about quality OP, it's about quality.
Makes sense.

>>443154
>>443194
>>444420
>all this spaghetti over shitty questions

Jesus christ. If you don't have an answer then just say so. Saying confidently "heh I guess I haven't thought of that before/don't quite have an answer yet" is always better than trying to give an autismal answer. It's not so much about them hearing a specific answer as it is about them having a general perception of your personality.

>>444533
>hedge funds well documented out performers during bear markets and under performers during rallies
>not hedging
Nigger please

>>444420
You're possibly the biggest fucking autist on this entire website, lmao. Please just send me all your money so I can spend it on weed, faggot (you must do it since your post ends in 420).

>>443843

You got me.

>>444420
lmao, you hung up on him?
Like bitch what?
He's trying to help you out.
he should of hung up on you, and he called you back numerous times?

Gigantic autist, I don't even- fuck man.
Fuck you.

>>443957

I mean, as long as your answer isn't "I remember when I was online this fucking faggot called me a faggot and I was so mad but I kept it cool and professional and told him to kill himself. So, I'd say I handled it pretty well actually!"

>>444420

Work a construction job for about three months and you'll have enough stupid stories to ace any interview, Bonus Round Megastar fucking special though, people really respect you if you've had a 'Real Job' doing 'Real Work'

Actually, try and find a job where you clean up human waste regularly. Then it also shows that you're tough and don't afraid of nothing.

I mean, i'm in the final round of interviews for a position I don't think I'm qualified for, and I know for a fact the people I've beat out have almost ten times my amount of experience.

>>444442

That's not a bad answer anon, you think it is but it isn't. Have some followup patter, but opening with that isn't a bad start.

>>443154
When they give you shitty, generic Interview 101 questions like that, I usually just give them generic answers back since that's apparently the kind of wavelength that person's on. Also, if you're a college student or recent graduate, most interviewers understand you don't really have that much experience working with others.

I usually go with some story about how I was working on a group project for a class and somebody never showed up, so our steps were to try and reach out and communicate with the person, reach out to the professor, and to discuss within the group how to fairly split up the extra work we would have to take on now. Just really basic stuff to demonstrate that you can communicate with other people and can handle some sliver of responsibility. You don't need some story about saving the company from bankruptcy or how you ran into a burning building to save the CEO's daughter or something.

>>443154

>>tfw after night of partying, still drugged p sleeping in bed at 11 a.m. get call
>(had send out applications to several banks)
>stupid me takes the call
>some name and UPS
>Me tired [interrupting]:"Yah just drop the fucking packed outside. Please don't fuck my sleep" [sic!]
>Hang up and go back to sleep
>Wake up at 5 p.m. [massive headache]
>realize it was probably UBS
Never take calls when the phone woke you up.

>>443154
>can't be bothered to prepare for interview questions where answers can be googled in minutes
>mad he didn't get the job
I genuinely thought those questions were a waste of time but op has proven me wrong. The system works.

>>444417
>>woman asks me what some strategies of hedge funds are
>>"...Hedging...?"

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