/biz/ - Business & Finance

> When inserting money into our Coffee-Machine, he was recorded shouting: "NICE JUST BOUGHT 100k"

>>3581242
Thanks for the kek. This is why I never talk to irl people about crypto and traiding

>>3581242
Kek'd.

>>3581242
Kekked.

>the first time we met the first thing he said to me was "youre not asian" followed by a high pitch screech only the deepest of hell can understand.

>>3581267
kek'd my ass out, anon.

>>3581242

Kek, i lose my sides

> patient was found in a manic state naked masturbating and insisting that a solution to the "oracle problem" had been found

>he was talking about his imaginary "internet" money and his clearly obssesed by astronomy particulary the moon.

>The patient kept insisting he was currently hodling (holding?) large amounts of coins but upon confiscating his possessions we found none.

>>3581242

>>3581242

>The patient insists that he's a millionaire, but he has only a few dollars

>When I expressed some of my concerns to the patient, he responded "Shit-tier fud Pajeet"
>It appears he is having conversations with these imaginary friends
>I have started him on 12.5mg of Clozapine daily but he refused to fill the prescription, instead shouting "POLO WHEN?"

> by the end of the exam and work day the patient hid under the nearest table screaming the chinks are waking up

>>3581359
sides in orbit

>The deceased's complexion had taken on a shade of shocking pink and his briefs were soiled right through.

>The noose was poorly tied and his iPhone's screen was cracked and frozen on an app called Blockfolio where he appeared to be holding vast amounts of worthless, imaginary "Digibytes".

>>3581242
>When he looks at the receptionist he mutters under his breathe "but she is not Asian"

>>3581460
Fucking kek

>The patient continuously calls other patients "deluded" and shows them a picture he printed out of a cartoon woman with purple hair.
>We have taken away his computer rights and will monitor the situation more closely.

>>3581242
>The patient has showed some kind of morbid fetish to frogs and whales. Apparently unrelated, but who knows.

>>3581267
>>3581460
These made me kek out loud :D

>>3581242

>The patient shows obsessive signs with animals, especially with bulls and bears, says he could manipulate them if he were a whale

>>3581242
>Ma'am, so you're telling me the cause of the divorce is because you sold some... "Bitcoins"? And you did it when it was in a "dip"? Interesting.

>>3581584
Of course I forgot the fucking image.

>>3581242
>In recent days the patient seems to be having delusions of being in some sort of military, and screams that he is various types of marine

>>3581242

>The patient has psychological tendencies to hoard knee pads
>keeps drooling and looking at my crotch
>I'm diagnosing him as a textbook digimarine

>The patient claims to hear voices in his head telling him to "Buy High, Sell Low"

>The patient will at random intervals either say "Solves the oracle problem" or "Solid dev team" followed by a smug smile and a chuckle

>>3581242
Once in a while theres a thread like this one , i love you guys even if you make me lose money

>Asks for tendie money upon entering and leaving my office every day

>Patient claims a group called "bees" ruined his life
>He tells me his life story, a truly pitiful story, and that he invested his remaining money in "digibytes"
>tripled drug doses and put in solitary confinment for further analysis of the "digimarine" syndrome

>>3581595
Like that was the problem