/biz/ - Business & Finance

Fill out the paperwork to legally change your name to patrick bateman

Mergers and Acquisitions?

or Murder and Executions?

Since the dude seemed like he didn't do shit i would say connections.

>>300354
both

Intern > broker > associate > analyst > investment banker

>>300375

kek

I'm done /biz/. I can't stand the stupidity.

>>300378
so you're saying thats not the way to become patrick bateman? how do you??

>>300379

Investment Banking is a career. associates, analysts, partners, VPs, are all Investment Bankers within the firm.

>>300382
what classes do i take in college for that?

>>300384

>implying college classes/majors gets determines your future
>not asking how should I network and get the right internships

Isn't it bed time for you Americans?

>>300389
yeah but the baseball is still on since they're playing in a timezone 3 hours behind mine

>>300378
We've only just begun.

Bateman is like the ultimate plebeian.

>Huey Lewis and the News' early albums are too deep for him
>constantly frets about his appearances, bases his self worth on inconsequential shit like the business cards
>can't even work up the balls to pull off a real murder, just fantasizes about it all the time
OP you're close, I bet you can get there if you just get dubs a few more times.

>>300402
>missing the point of American Psycho

>>300402

>he thinks that Bateman didn't really kills those people

>>300402
How do you say faggot in business speak?

>>300345
I just started watching this movie and the amount of narcissism reminded me of tripfags on 4chan who thought anyone cared about them.

By getting doubles

>>300455
Ha

You need good business cards

>>300402
>can't even work up the balls to pull off a real murder, just fantasizes about it all the time
I don't think so Tim. But I'd like it to be true

how do i become bruce wayne batman?

Bateman works at his Dad's company. So being raised by a rich guy who's also going to give you a well paying job is the first step.

>>300754
kill your parents put on a cape

>>300756
Already done. What next?

>>300378
A financial analyst isn't an IB you fucking idiot.

>>300345
1: make money however you can and live a spartan mister's lifestyle, cheap but not so cheap you're in poverty and it negatively affects your health, invest your surplus cash sensibly, if you actually understand the stock market and have good critical thinking skills that's great, if not just put it in a few sensible vanguard funds and convert to low risk bonds if there is a recession and the stock market looks like it might crash (buy the dip afterwards)

2: become a charlatan, practice makes perfect, you may have to dip into your savings to buy a suit or whatever, make sure you only buy what you need, the idea is to have large investments working for you and only spend 10% of it tops, that 10% will grow along with your investments

3: try not to blow your reputation so you don't have to move across the country, develop your skills in non-risk areas, like convincing bar whores you're a stockbroker before you start moving onto selling counterfeit cigarettes or identity theft, your own identity is incredibly precious and you don't want to waste it, especially if you have a clean criminal record and live in the developed world

4: start low level, like trying to convince some sheet metal plant in virginia that you are an experienced manager, booklearn a little about the work, enough to be convincing, then hand them a qualification from the university of guatemala and have a friend pretend to be a reference

5: chances are you will fail but you will learn a little, eventually you will be able to convince a bank you have an ivy league MBA and your father knew his father before he died etcetera

>spartan miser's lifestyle*
as in someone who doesn't want to spend much money

>>300767

In an investment firm, you are one.

Actually he was born into a rich family and has always been a spoiled and protected brat. Only reason he got the job he has is with because of his family and because he likes to fit in.

>>300781
You can't start at an investment firm right off the bat without connections, fagshit

Yes his father owns P&P, but he also went to Harvard, and then Harvard Business School.