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29628098 No.29628098 [Reply] [Original]

I heard that HR was looking to promote someone for diversity reasons. How do I pretend to be gay so I get promoted? I'm currently single.

>> No.29628229

suck your boss's dick

>> No.29628255

>>29628098
Wear a gay pride t-shirt and put a flag up in your office or some shit. When someone asks, say you identify as demisexual.

>> No.29628532

>>29628255
wtf is a demisexual

>> No.29628644

>>29628532
who cares, as long as you are not a straight white male anymore, you support the company's "commitment to diversity"

>> No.29628670

b urself

>> No.29628746

>>29628098
I'm a repressing tranny and I just say I'm trans. I present like a man, even more than other men. I wear full 3-piece suits to work to help with repressing.
It's been the best career move I've ever made being a repressing tranny.

>> No.29628749

>>29628670
kek

>> No.29628751

>>29628644
This. It doesn't matter OP, and if somebody asks what that means just say you're feeling attacked and invalidated or some shit. Say they wouldn't understand and you got your ticket to promotion

>> No.29628779

>>29628644
it would seem kind of weird though because i don't really talk much or act political at work.

>> No.29628821

>>29628098
Male escort kisses you in front of your boss while dropping off your lunch. Works everytime. Just note it's a quick kiss, not a makeout session you faggot.

>> No.29628951

>>29628098

oh man everyone thinks I am gay and I keep getting promoted

shit god damn do you think this why

I thought I was talented

>> No.29629061

>>29628951
nope, you're just a faggot

>> No.29629095

>>29628779
Irrelevant. Nobody will challenge you, they're too fucking scared. When I tell them I'm a transgender woman with a straight fucking face in my 3-piece suit and shined dress shoes with a conservative red tie, and that I want to be addressed as Justine and with she/her pronouns, they don't fucking challenge me. They shut up and do it, and they promote the fuck out of me because they know I'm serious and will fucking sue them if they don't.

>> No.29629192

>>29628098
imagine pretenting to be this mentally ill for even a second

>> No.29629377

>>29628779
do it on an off day or something. like it's an accident you came in with only your pride spedo on Tuesday morning but act like it's normal. Gains.

>> No.29629440

>>29629095
based
I wish this wasn't a larp.

>> No.29629540

Wink at a co-worker. Gays love winking

>> No.29629575

>>29628229
Kek fpbp

>> No.29629662

>>29628098
Just say you are pansexual. If they ask about your previous relationships, just tell them it's private and you don't feel comfortable

>> No.29629666

>>29628532
It means that you only are turned on by an emotional relationship. Because of all the weird ass identities faggots make up, you are guaranteed to fall into at least one of them.

>> No.29629705

>>29629666

shit, first one guy says I am gay and now you are saying am I a demisexual

Look I don't understand all this shit

>> No.29630130

>>29629705
No one understands. It's all methed out bullshit for people to feel like they are part of some new Civil Rights struggle.

>> No.29630180

>>29628255
This backfires, because real gay men know you are faking it and will corner you in the break room and rape you

>> No.29630231
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29630231

>>29628670

>> No.29630328

>>29628670
fbfp

>> No.29630541

>>29628098
Suck some dick and get caught at the company party suckin dick in the stall. lol

>> No.29630622

>>29630328
lrk mr

>> No.29631046

>>29628098
gape your arsehole on zoom like I did guaranteed promotion and all the women want to peg you

>> No.29631394

start gossiping with your female coworkers, talk about looks all day