/biz/ - Business & Finance

it's greentext time op

>>29393765
What did you do?

>>29393765
RUN

this will be me soon. Fuck

>next week
Go off the grid

Give me your coins

>>29393765
>I got caught for money laundering + tax evasion and I'm going to a minimum security prison for 3 years next week.
Get fucked, nigger.
>spread dat ass wide open for big bubba.

>>29393765
gosh OP if you have any other hidden crypto you'd better just send it to me instead of risking more jail time

Highly based. Don't let the government have a single scent. In fact, this way they are paying YOU

>>29393765
how much money did you collect?

>>29393765
Just keep your head low, give as little information to other inmates as possible(they will use it against you.) Always have an escape route planned when in a confined space where you could be attacked.

>>29393765
>Not sending your money offshore
Your fault really. Tell us more about your fuck up.

>>29393765
enjoy making friends and big gains in rich prison anon

OP tell us the truth, how far did you go to evade the IRS?

>>29393765
Throw some money into BTC, BNB, and ALGO before you go in so you can at least come out a millionaire.

All these anons with their "my clever tricks for not paying tax on my crypto gains" should consult this thread.

How did you get caught anon?

>>29393765
if you made enough to make the tax evasion worth it, why not just pick up your portfolio and move? you can trade from anywhere with an internet connection

>>29393765
Lucky you op you're gonna get your prostate pleasured everyday

>>29394016
clearly, not very far

>>29393765
Its a good learning experience; you going to the same one as Martin Shkreli? Honestly I wish I got sent to prison for 2-3 years that would be a based discovery period.

for any new people. this is not a true story.

>>29393925
this. imagine unironically being forced to hodl and having all your expenses paid for. you're going to be a super-NEET.

>>29394047
if it helps OP anon, the prison rape thing is mostly a myth, esp in min security facilities. everyone is too concerned about their early out for good behavior to get marks for shit like this

>>29393765
Look on the bright side, by the time you get out, the next bull run will have just begun and all your coins should have appreciated by then.

>>29393765
I'm convinced these threads are glowie propaganda. OPs never elaborate, it's always 1 post by this ID shit

>>29393765
I'll take "things that never happened" for $500, Alex.

>minimum security
you'll probably be in there with other tax evaders playing basketball or lifting weights all day

>Honestly I wish I got sent to prison for 2-3 years

>>29394129
Based

>>29393765
Did you already train your ass?

>>29393765
GREENTEXT BEFORE PRISON YOU NIGGER

>americans' idea of prison is non stop gay orgies

>>29393765
think of it this way, now you can't possibly have weak hands
just buy a shit ton of link or something and retire when you get out

This is why i report all my trades like a good boi

Tax evasion is for the rich

If that's true you wouldn't be able to await your jail time in freedom. It would be directly enforced. So you're just larping.

>>29393765
>1 post by this id

your local cuck kike IRS agent at it again folks

>>29393822
>>29393833
I am european btw

PART 1/2

>2014
>be a young high schoolers who plays runescape
>i want to start selling runescape gold for irl cash but i cant open a paypal acc because I was underaged
>hear of bitcoin and think that this shit is cool, i can sell my runescape gp this way
>sell runescape gp for bitcoins on a local craigslist-type website and directly to chinese virtual gold suppliers and make like 1 bitcoin a week while killing runescape bosses, think this is cool
>a few years pass, have cash outed like 5000 euros worth of btc from local bitcoin ATM's
>kinda forgot about any coins i may have had left
>december , be 19 years old, have quit playing runescape and be at work, wanting to make some money before I go to college
>hear about bitcoin rising in price
>realize that I still have those bitcoins and check the price
>i had 7 bitcoins which were worth like 80k, invest the rest in shitcoins that were popular at the time like IOTA, omisego, ethereum, monero, ripple
>think about selling them for euros but realize that capital gains tax is 30%, fuck that shit
>cash out 40k tax free by withdrawing a few thousand at a time from bitcoin atm's
>lose about 50% of the 40k i left in shitcoins due to the infamos 2018 crash
>keep working, go to university, etc, pay everything I can with cash (gas, food, drugs, whatever) and let the legal flow of money from work fill up my bank account, i officially spend $20 a month on food nothing
>drop out of university, dont have motivation to do anything

>>29395024
Imagine being an IRS agent and living in constant fear because the entire country hates you LOL
I honestly don't understand how we don't hear about more IRS agents being murdered out in the field unless it's just being kept out of the mainstream media's reporting.

>>29393765
may i suggest eating while jerking off in a panicked fashion

you're going to need to be relaxed and heavy as possible when you go in

>>29394025
lmao binance is not going to be around in 3 years

>>29395122
>european
Aren't your prisons better than American vacation spots? Kek relax

>>29393765
AHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>29395122
Larping faggot. It costs the government more to imprison someone for 3 years than it would be to garnish your wages for the next 3 years.

>>29395122
At least you're European so the jail time will be comfy.

you're gonna get raped by niggers every day make sure to stretch your asshole and lube up for training

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZG-3eAkCrQ&t

>>29395122
>sadboys
wagmi in the end

Load up on coins with every penny you have left, you will be sweet when you get out.

>>29395451
A complete meme. Especially not happening in Europe. Go watch more fiction crime shows you fuckin fag.

>>29395122
shit i was thinking cashing out from bitcoin atms

>>29393765
>minimum security

just break out pussy it says MINUMIM security it should be easy af

>>29395122
>2020 arrives
>have gotten back to playing runescape, this time im botting on 50+ accounts at the sime on a private VPS and selling for bitcoins and ether that you swap for shitcoins
>want to buy a new car but be running low on cash, only like 10k left
>go to a bitcoin atm and realize the now require KYC-shit like ID copies and phone numbers
>realize that you can create a company, list those bitcoins as revenue and pay less taxes. I could also buy a car in the companys name
>create a company that sells all kind of guides in PDF forms, delivered through email
>suddenly I get a big flow of customers and I'm selling 5k worth of PDF files a month through my company
>fall of 2020
>federal police raids my home
>end up in jail for 9 days
>be charged with money laundering + tax evasion (because of the cash) + drug possession (they found some coke and weed)
>be convicted

Yeah. Fuck me.

>>29395571
t.was raped in prison and is now coping

>>29395122
>> 5000 euros
wait what country are you from?
also what did you do wrong / how did you get caught?

>>29395669
Lmao get fucked retard

>>29395451
>going to prison soon
>OMG ANON! spend what little remaining free time you have shoving things up your ass
Fag

>>29395669
which country?

>>29393765
larp

wow, who told you about these alts? This is trash dude, don’t believe these bastards
if you wanna get income use your brains and follow yield farming
I took part in metalex and they made a new system, a guarantee of x3 apy

>>29395300
>the chinese gov will just accept defeat by us firms and allow us crypto exchanges/platforms to be more successful than they are
kek

>>29395669
what country batty boy?

>>29395669
oh well

>>29395669
You sound like typical Slav in Berlin.

>>29395669
Based. How old you are?

>>29395669
ok, but why did they raid you? what was suspicious?

>>29395669
you really didn't think this one through did ya

>>29395322
Only Norway

>>29393765
Personally I would be doing a round of roids and getting ripped fast before I hit the slammer.

>>29395451
prison rape is a meme, just don't be a bitch, snitch, or chomo and you'll be golden, pony boy

>>29395669
don't worry, anal feels nice once you get used to it

>>29393833
>>29395669
>realize that you can create a company, list those bitcoins as revenue and pay less taxes. I could also buy a car in the companys name
WHYYYYTYYTYYY LOL

if u need a german lawyer hmu

I hope you put all your money in bitcoin so you're a millionaire when you come out

>>29393765
Say hi to bubba for me nigga

>>29395669
fuck, anon. what countrY?

all this just for selling runescape gold? or was it evading taxes?

>>29395669
why did they raid you to begin with?

>>29395669
>drug possession (they found some coke and weed)
Mainly this is why you go to jail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUhxBQqDbeY

>>29395669
just fly to china, they cant do shit with you there and its easy to hide in inner mongolia

>>29395669
>druggie
ah well it all makes sense now

>>29395805
>>29395747
Dont wanna say the country.

>>29395788
Yeah I was a retard but it doesnt make me feel any better

>>29395879
Official reason is that my the companies revenue was suspicious but I think jagex (the company behind runescape) was somehow involved since they have recently started going after botters and scammers through suing them

>>29395669
I don't get it. What did you do illegal?

>>29395669
Home raided for making too much money. What a fantastic world we live in.

>>29394160
I spent nearly two years for the same thing back in 2007-8, so may be a larp but it happened to me (and many of the cellies I was with). Federal Prison work camps are filled with nothing but embezzlers, con men, fraudsters, white collar drug sellers and tax cheats. I was a tax cheat and got ratted out by my ex-wife (who got a deal for non-felony probation in exchange for info), unlike me that has a fucking felony on my record.

>Minimum security

Sounds kind of nice desu. 3 years is shit though, any chance you can get out early for good behavior?

Just take this opportunity to read, work out, play chess, draw, whatever. Minimum sec is like adult daycare. Get what you can from the experience homo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl1mH0DROQM

>>29393765
Minimum security is a fucking boy scout camp, nigger.

>>29396191
bro if its europe why does it matter? dont you basically just get a room thats like a college dorm with a bed and tv and shit?

>>29396191
Ok I'll be nice. If the police haven't seized everything, put all your money into either Bitcoin or Monero or both and just wait it out.

>>29396191
want to sell your pdf company for some lawyer $$$?

>>29396237
don't worry, rich jews and government officials arent getting their houses raided

>>29395669
>>be charged with money laundering + tax evasion (because of the cash) + drug possession (they found some coke and weed)
Wait, I feel there's something missing. What kind of money laundering charges did they press? For what? You didn't take drug money, did you? Or what PDFs did you sell that brought the police on your track?

>>29396191
Oh well that's fucked but you'll probably be alright in a European prison. You will certainly make a lot of money holding crypto through that time.

>>29396191
Sorry bro. The realistic thing is this could pretty much happen to any one of us. Nobody is reporting crypto to crypto trades and all it takes is the government wanting to fuck you to do it.

Was there some sort of cash settlement you could pay? It feels like a pretty harsh penalty for the level of money you were using. I'm assuming they don't know about the 40k in the past.

>>29396201
The court didn't believe that my source of my companys revenue was legal and I couldn't prove it to them because I had mixed the cryptos entirely by using monero.

>>29395669
LARP

>>29396276
Never mind, just read you're not from the US. This would happen if you were from the US.

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/what-exactly-is-white-collar-prison-me-an-average-guy-who-wants-to-understand-where-michael-cohen-is-going-to-spend-his-jail-time

>>29393765
Put all your money into doge right now and when you get out in 3 years you'll have more than most countries GDP

>>29396201
I also should've reported my crypto swaps.
In my country, you need to by taxes when u, for example, swap ether to link

>>29395805
>Federal
Its obviously a germ cuck

>>29396191
<3 on you (no homo).
Reminder to use those 3 year wisely. I don't know the prison environement of your country but sometimes you can litterally get some education in prison.Don't forget to lift so you get jacked when you get out.

Fuck taxe.

>>29396498
Moronic idea. If anything, put it into decent projects with a future.

>>29396538
pay taxes*
sorry im drunk

>>29396538
i dont think they care about small amounts just try to pay the taxes on gains. if youre actually making a lot money then just pay someone to go through it all. i have my shit on different exchanges all over and dont know what im doing i just started and its not even a lot

>>29396293
Google eauro prison retard, the western ones are filled with sub saharans and arabs, the eastern ones are gulags, only norway is worth it to get into prison

>>29395669

>coke and weed

>realize that you can create a company, list those bitcoins as revenue and pay less taxes. I could also buy a car in the companys name

i reckon they initially investigated you as a clueless dark net drug dealer, and when they found no evidence of that, they looked into what was going on,

>>29395669
lmao dude this sounds exactly like something that I would try thinking I'm big shit and super smart and the usual "it's not that much money, drug dealers move millions of USD and nobody catches them I doubt they'll care about me".

>>29395122
>>29395657
someone post that "should have used monero" meme

>>29396255
Fellow Felony-bro here, what are you doing for work these days? I'm shit out of luck unless I can get my record expunged or just tstart my own business.

good, you can hodl there

>>29395669
Wait what? 3 years in prison for starting a legitimate business that boomers just don't understand? Only sketchy thing I see is that you bought a car in your companies name but is that really worth 3 years prison? Maybe a small fine but WTF? Fucking boomers.

>>29396731
That's exactly what fucked him up, jeet

>>29395868
that picture looks too Polish

>>29396348
This. Literally all in BTC/Monero and hide it up your ass. Wait out 3 years till the next cycle and you come out a millionaire. And pay your taxes this time goy.

get a good lawyer to defend you
unironically put all your money into crypto, safe wallet hidden somewhere, hide passwords etc and never mention it, say you lost all your bitcoins in a hack or whatever
go to jail and just HODL faggot
walk out the jail rich and be out quicker on good behaviour

>>29395669
Do you have a kikebook or social media presence tied to your business? I'm just wondering how they tailed you. Was it the business registered to your address?

People actually go to jail for tax evasion? Just pay the tax and the fine

>>29396766
Lmaoo

>>29396642
nothing compared to the US. in the usa you either get a concrete square with some dude and a toilet or you sleep in a dorm with 200 other people.

in jails here you cant even go outside its literally like 1-2 years locked inside without even a window

>>29395669
OP it sounds (if this is true) that they're trying to make an example out of you. Nothing you mentioned really is worth 3 years worth of prison. Maybe a couple of months for the drugs, depending which euro country you're talking about. The money laundering and tax evasion would've got you a hefty fine, but 3 years jail time? You either tried to launder millions of euros or they're just using you to scare others into paying their taxes for crypto.

>>29395669
You still have your BTC, enjoy prison, it'll keep you from spending it
They can't take your gainz from you anon

No worries, anon! Prisoners get tablets and such to go on Facebook now, so you can still come shitpost on ol' 4chin with your buddies. A word of advice:
>go to the law library as much as possible
>learn everything you can
>exchange goods/favors from other prisoners for your legal services
>shank any dirty pajeets
Good luck fucker

>>29393765
go to prison, read a shitton of books and HODL. you will come out a smarter and richer man.

>>29395669
study something while youre in prison

>>29396955
>Nothing you mentioned really is worth 3 years worth of prison
THIS. OP is a larping faggot or he's lying about what he actually did. A good lawyer would prevent you from going to prison for any of this shit.

>>29396950
yeah even german prisons have that college dorm feeling. fuck off you guys have nothing to worry about fucking europeans spoiled as always

>>29397019
>>29396999
>>29396974
>>29396966
I will only serve 50%, thank god

>>29393765
nice. i hope you never see the light of day again and get fucked in the ass my jamal and tyrone every day. hope CZ joins you too soon.
if it was up to me, people like you would be lined up against the wall and shot

BRO STFU U NOOB LARPERS I AM RICH U ARE POOR HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>29395669
And live ends with prison?

Take it as a learning opportunity. If you do it right, you will come out stronger.

It's not like you are getting a life sentence.

>>29395669
>gets ass raped in prison over runescape and bitcoin farming
looking forward to hearing this agan on chass, good luck fren and don't become the prison punk

>>29395669
eigspierd gherst de!

>>29396788
He was washing 'money/btc' through a shell company, using said money to solicit assets, whilst avoiding government taxes...

If you think that's Boomer spec I have bad news for you son.

>>29395322
>>29396293
You don't realize if you've never been imprisoned that no matter the circumstances losing your freedom and being locked up is fucking awful on it's own. Especially for some bs like this. Americans just think for some reason that on top of being imprisoned shit needs to be torture camp levels of awful even though you guys literally have an amendment in your constitution banning cruel and unusual punishment.

>>29395669
Fake.

>>29394132
Depends on if it's state or federal, state is much worse in many states. The amount of corruption in state prisons is just insane. If OP doesn't let people walk over him he'll be fine.

>>29397500
no but my life is hell you can go to fucking ass rape prison for anything in america. even if youre white for blue collar crimes its such horse shit

in europe they at least try to help you get better and not return and in america they just try to make money off you. ive been to jail for a couple days here and it isnt that bad compared to the rest of america you get a private cell and everyones friendly and theres a tv in the middle and they let you have tablets and shit

but depriving people off fresh air is just fucking evil trapped in a giant cage with 30 other people. its fucking inhumane you cant even open a window and look outside

>>29396442
Can't you appeal the rulling and get a better lawyer?

>>29393765
My Dad went to minimum security. Here's some pointers:
>Do NOT take shit in the cafeteria your first day
My old mas 60 and they tried to fuck with him. They are gonna fuck with you.
>Find someone on the outside who can put money in your commissary/money exchange
>Find out quickly what inmates want to TRADE for, your about to enter a trading economy.
>Find what you can arbitrage. Something you can buy in the commissary that's cheap and trades for MORE? Fucking DO IT
>Read a book every single day to pass time
>take a nap every day (once you know the lay of the land, dont relax around you know who)
>Try to workout
>Learn who the shotcaller is -- this is who decides who gets to fight and runs the block
I can try to give you more as I think of them if you want more

State the country fag. Its not Western Europe because of laws. Not Southern Europe because they dont pay tax at all there. Im guessing Northern Europe because of the amounts.

>>29395669
Imagine being imprisoned for making money on runescape and trading some shitcoins to pay for a car and food.
>NO NO NO you need to gibs me your money
>You are not allowed to keep it to yourself
>Your punishment is 3 years in a cell

Fuck this clown world

>>29396950
Lmao why are americans so inhuman? Isnt rehabilitation the point of prison? Not some CIA torture chamber

>>29397097
Anon, this is a larp, I am a lawyer, and unless you are irish/brit, you will never be convicted, unless your attorney is absolute shit, or you confessed, convicting someone without the full conviction of the judge is almost impossible in the west

>>29397877
America is a 3rd world shithole anon. Has been since Trump was elected.

>>29398001
>since Trump was elected
Trying to make it seem like a nigger was not your president for 8 years

>>29398001
America needs to be nuked slready

>>29397926
This is what I was thinking. Only way OP is serving that long is that he laundered a shit ton of money and confessed or his "business" was not legal at all and those "PDFs" are just some dark shit like drugs or CP.

>>29397926
What do you mean? I got sentenced to a year in county jail and served 45 days house arrest 45 days community service.

>>29398001
shutup faggot

>>29397926
Why Irish / Brit? Interested as I'm Irish.

>>29395669
this is the fakest and gayest larp I have ever seen. Being raided of 30k of dodged taxes? There are people who have dodged millions in taxes who were just given a letter telling them to appear in court. Fucking niggerfaggot, kys

>>29395322
Read up on French prison.

>>29397877
it doesnt even fucking make sense i hate this place so much. if you get arrested for drugs or murder you go to the same place what the fuck.

i can understand punishing people like rapists and murderers but what the fuck is the point of ruining the life of someone with a non violent offense? my jail isnt really so it isnt bad but if you go anywhere farther than that youre fucked

>>29397926
a lot of people are stupid and confess to the police before calling a lawyer

>>29395805
Its obviously Germany.

>>29398211
I'm guessing it was the drugs depending on how much he had.

>>29397877
Prisons are nigger containment zones. They CANNOT be rehabilitated. They're subhuman, and no matter how much therapy you try to give them, they will never learn to be human. They can only be kept there till they die.

>>29398261
Why is that? Diversity is France's strength

>>29397097
I'd be the typical "gibbe plz"

But you might need it when your out, I only hope when you get out your wealth is still there.

>>29398175
You use the far inferior common law, just as the rest of the english speaking world, were judges can make up shit at any time, that's why England doesn't have a written constitution but a bunch of old made up dispersed laws
>>29398153
Probably shit attorney
>>29398149
Yeah, he may get convicted because of the drugs, but unless he is in the phillipines it would mean he is doing community service, but not the money laundering, that is ridiculous, the tax evasion could be neither proved nor dissproved, so the judge would just fail an in dubio pro reo
>>29398364
serves them right for being retards

Anon, shoot me an e-mail at w9lr8um6l4m@temp.mailbox.org and I will write a letter to you while you're in jail.

>>29398211
people dodging millions in tax get better lawyers

these crimes plus some drug stuff on top can be bad news if they want to throw the book at you

>>29393765
minimum security prison isn't that bad, you'll be basically at a summer camp for 18 months.
protips:
-get the kosher food, minimum security prison kosher is pretty decent because minimum security is where jews go for financial crimes
-don't do anything that could risk you getting bumped up a security level
-make friends with the most connected banker/hedge fund guys in there you can find, tell them you bought 2014 bitcoin and you're in there for fucking up your taxes, you want to angle for some kind of fintech analyst job when you get out
-get in a program that will let you finish your college degree from prison
-get fit

>>29395669
Based retard. Remember to practice your grip

>>29396809
Her shopping bag is too high quality. Should be a plastic one from Biedronka.

>>29398465
This is true. Probably 75% of people in jail are bad people who will reoffend. Also american prison isn't that crazy. Yeah the max security prisons in California are wild but there is a minimum security PRISON in Minnesota with an open floor plan, doors only lock at night

>>29393765
This is obviously the IRS. They know we've been making FAT STACKS and they also know it's nearly impossible for them to track all our transactions. They're just trying to get us to be good goys and give them our money. Taxation is theft, fuck you niggers.

Let this be a warning to all the fags who think the IRS won't find out and turbofuck their life into oblivion for not paying taxes on crypto.

>>29397696
You are a good guy anon, but he is european. Hardest thing he has to do in jail is deciding what to eat every day and what to do if his playstation stops working.

>>29397097
What fucking PDFs were you selling to make 5k per month?

>>29398153
>county jail
didn't see it at first, you are probably american, which means your law system is retarded, and a bunch of niggers in a "jury" can convict you

>>29397664
I understand that shit is bad, but the experience of losing your freedom on it's own is torturous enough for most people. Prison assrape and shit like that is a uniquely American thing, and Americans always like to think that everything there is the default on how things should be. So when prison conditions abroad aren't as inhumane as at home you think oh they're super cushy man you'll be fine. It's just weird that you guys just rarely consider the the way things are in your country as not being the standard for everyone else.

Why is there so little talk of it there? You guys have the eighth amendment about cruel and unusual punishment but hearing stories of the prison system over there it sounds like exactly that. Weird how the ''muh constitution'' conservative types like to ignore that one and think any attempt to even make prisons less inhumane is being soft on crime.

>>29395669
>federal police
What European country has federal police? France? Germany? Spain?

You are going to have fun, unless you are some sort of weirdo autist. Low security prisons are like a fun camp, just get drunk and high. Unless you are in some shithole like Maldova or Italy it will be fine.

>>29396489
Only if you're rich and a kike. I love how that article heads the section with "omg cushy white people prison, white people have it so much easier" and then literally a paragraph later they are discussing kosher food options and rabbis, zero fucking self awareness. But on the other hand it might actually be beneficial to get a short sentence there just to make connections with powerful people.

>>29399012
Only Germany, France, Portugal and Italy are Republics as well as the rest of smaller countries and Spain, Sweden, Norway, The Netherlands, Belgium and Denmark are Kingdoms

>>29398942
I bought them myself with bitcoins I made anonymous by swapping them to monero and back.

>>29395122
>>29395669
Get a job druggie

>>29395669
I love this story I've burst out in laughters

>>29398961
Lol it was a pleasure deal actually and I was very excited. I got caught with heroin and got a DUI, only was in actual jail for 5 days, and got it all erased from my record. I was very happy with the result.

>>29398985
i wouldnt even mind jail as bad if it was a few months in a place like that with a normal bed and bathroom with a window and probably going outside

the idea of sitting in a fucking concrete box with no windows and a toilet scares the fucking shit out of me. the jail i went to wasnt really hell but it was still kinda bad. the doors are open all day long and you can walk around but theres nothing to do they had a shelf with like 50 old books and there was nothing to do but walk around

they had tablets you could pay to use and streamed music and had movies and games on them and shit so not that bad but in fucking europe you can get a ps2

>>29396735
Mostly now I trade and work with a family friend who does contracting work (painting, demo, etc).

>>29393765

Jesus dude pay your fucking taxes

>>29398767
Let pic related be a warning to all IRS/CIA/FBI agents in this thread who think they can break the law and illegally invade someone's home over trivial tax issues.

>>29398767
>t.slave

>>29398211
Your fear is showing. It’s cheaper to go after small fish, meet quotas and make examples, than to go for somebody with millions, who may have invested enough in lawyers and security to put up some resistance.

Only the poor get raided, anon.

>>29399210
Oh so you actually did launder money lol

>>29399191
>and Spain

Oh I always thought The Guardia Civil were federal police, I must of heard wrong. Mean cunts

>>29399257
>deleted

kek they're on to you now. RIP anon

>>29399332
Yes RETARDO money laundering to. lol

>>29396191
So it wasn't your crypto withdrawal but your fake company and runescape?

You scared me

lol i'm writing this from prison right now. Most low-risk prisons are nice, buy a smuggled smartphone for 300-400$, be friendly with the staff, stay out of trouble. I got 7,5 years and i'm in now for about 3. I can leave on year 4 propably. It just sucked big time that i couldn't invest in this bullrun. It was fun watching though..

and thats why i love XMR and non-kyc cashouts.

>>29399480
based

>>29399341
Maybe when translating it to english it makes sense to name it federal police, but no one in Spain would call it federal police(like they wouldn't call the british police federal police), just like the retarded wikipedia page calls the President of Spain the Prime Minister of Spain, because they don't use a presidential system

>>29393765
just liquidate everything you have, overdraw your credit card and what not buy crypto and kick back for 3 years, when you get out you get all teh money in the world.
I wish i could go for 3 years to jail, get fed chill while my cryptos make me money
you should consider yourself lucky

also dont look at other peoples dick, people dont like that in jail

>>29393925
Ummm no he has to pay massive fines on top of jail...

>>29399480
What got you in?

Will you get more time if they catch you with the phone?

How do you charge your phone?

>>29396255
How do you withdraw without getting caught?
Are you in US?

t. Leaf that would have to pay half if I withdrew

>>29399249
get a job clf virgin

>>29399643
Pay a specialist for advice. Seriously, man. You know better than to listen to these faggots.

>>29399249
What's the strategy?
Do you withdraw small amounts and leave the rest in the treasure chest?

>>29398734
>Probably 75% of people in jail are bad people who will reoffend
Don't you think this has anything to do with how fucked their lives are on release or what the environment in prison is like? Spending years locked in where violence is commonplace doesn't make people less violent. It turns people who get sent in for nonviolent offences into violent criminals. And being marked as a felon forever leading to nobody wanting to hire you doesn't really push people away from turning to crime again.

>>29395868
QT polish with raifu

>>29393765
Relax. Minimum security is like summer camp. The guys in there are going to have similar stories to you and you’re going to play a lot of cards. It sucks to be kept in a building, but most people in there are bitches. Learn to play spades.
>t. Ex money launderer.

>>29395669
>suddenly I get a big flow of customers and I'm selling 5k worth of PDF files a month through my company

>>29399625
One part is arson and the other part is selling about 1kg of mdma, 250g 2c-b, 1kg amphetamine.

I charge the phone with a normal charger. Before i had one i used to charge it on my television which has a USB port.

No i wouldn't get more time, just a week in solitary and if things like this happen too much it will be harder to get released early.

>>29397877
You cannot civilize the savage. Feral animals will never be tame.
The only use they have is hard labor or execution

>>29393765
Boy. Pay your taxes, the IRS doesn't give up. Not even the Mafia could tell the IRS to fuck off.

>>29399643
Just make enough money to buy a citizenship in Monaco and then create a bank account their. Withdraw all your crypto gains into that account.

Easy peazy

>>29393765
Prison is fun, make sure you put money into your commissary fund before you go in. Being able to buy food or a tv goes a long way. You can trade.

>>29393765
Go long on bitcoin and when you come out of jail, boom youre set for life.

>>29399643
Yes...listen to a tax advisor (I'm in the US).
I do everything by the exact fucking letter now, and read everything twice. I don't have any big expenses so I don't withdraw much, and my work pretty much pays my bills. I hand every receipt over to my CPA and he does it all. Been audited twice in the past four years with zero problems.

>>29396538
>In my country, you need to by taxes when u, for example, swap ether to link
Those laws are recent. They can't tax you for shit you had before those laws were in place. Get a better lawyer and appeal the sentence.

You'll still go to jail for drug possession and money laundering though. Making a company and claiming your BTC were company-owned was dumb as fuck, you should've found a good lawyer and accountant first.

>>29399994
Fascinating!

How did you end up with both arson and drug charges? Did they catch you burning something and find drugs you were dealing in your house?

Did you confess or did you plead the fifth?

What are your plans after prison?

>>29397500
You can get away with being soft on crime because your country is still mostly white. You are in for a rude awakening over the next 30 years.

>>29398281
Mate i've seen news of americans getting 15 years for doing some drug while in another news a murderer got like 5 years. Your country needs to be reset, gotta resurrect your founders and bulldoze the place so they can do it all over again. You used to be an example of freedom to the world everyone wanted to be american now you're a laughingstock

>>29396191
I know its france because of the 30% capital gains frere
you fucked up

>>29397926
hes not irish/british. they don't use jails

>>29400319
lol, what a retard

>>29400319
Again, you look at yourself as the default and everything is fine. If being soft on crime means not having private prisons turning prisoners into literal slaves then sure I am. Also look that up. They force prisoners to work for shit like 2 cents an hour just so they're legally not considered slaves. Crazy right?

>>29396343
>have a bunch of undeclared assets/money
>make a shell company
>claim all those assets are company profit
>thus that money enters the market 'legally'
That's the definition of money laundering.

Again, don't be retarded anons. Talk to (good) accountants and lawyers before moving big amounts of crypto money. It's way better to pay those greedy fucks than spend 3 years in prison.

Also, they found drugs. Surely they think it's drug money.

>>29393765

Prepare for it as a real economist finance person.

Stock up on cigarettes. Marlboro light is the best, blue chip brand if you like. Cigs are the currency in prison.

Start teaching investment basics to the other inmates, this will make you useful and elevates your social status in the prison social hierarchy.

The best strategy is if you are nice to everyone, even to those who are hated by others.

Bring in language books and text books, learn something useful, like a programming language.

>>29393879
Green text

>>29400131
Yes, put your money in an index tracking fund.

>>29400247
>How did you end up with both arson and drug charges?
Those are seperate cases and i prefer not to go deeper into that.

>Did you confess or did you plead the fifth?
I didn't confess more than they had against me and i have no idea what "pleading the fifth" is as i'm european. Assuming that this is some american thing.

>What are your plans after prison?
With drug-money i built a small legal business which i will continue after prison. Also i'd like to travel a bit and then maybe marry and having kids with my girlfriend. Just living a good and easy life.

>>29400319
what about non violent offenders? why not give them a system that actually helps them out

anybody else playing runescape right now

>>29400219
were the audits from specifically the crypto withdraws or is it a regular thing if a felon is making money? also it sounds like you're doing well now, happy for you fren

>>29395122
Finland? or possibly Sweden?
not to worry prison should be pretty comfy there

>>29399210
ok but
1. not like they could prove you did it yourself
2. why didnt you just report your bitcoins as revenue from farming and selling rs gold and show the taxman where the money is coming from? its not like its illegal?

>>29400736
Ah I see. Well 'pleading the fifth' means not self-incriminating. The Americans have it in their constitution.

Good for you for building the business!

>>29396191
It's some slavic country for sure

>>29400736
throwing someone in prison over drugs is just fucking evil. the arson thing maybe depending on what it was but come on

>>29395669
this seems very unlikely
if you only started your company in 2020, its unlikely that would raid you in fall 2020, your final taxes should not even be due until april 2021 especially in new companies they are pretty lenient about the quarterly prepayments

the only way this isn't larp is if op isn't telling us everything you they tried to get him on drug charges
if someone around him snatched that op was a big time drug dealer cause that would be the only way he could get cash without working a boomer tier job and he actually did buy some for personal use that would be fucked for him

>>29398527
where does justice spring from anon? Is it really something that is made up by Jewish politicians and codified in overly specific law books? Was there really no law, no justice before your faggy europoor "parliaments" put it there? Or is it something that exists outside of politics, sth we can only try to approximate with each and every court decision

>>29396442
Lmao what shithole country do you live in that presumption of innocence isn't part of your judicial system? It's their job to prove you did something wrong.
Appeal the fuck out of everything and get a better lawyer.
Fucking euroshits, when will they ever learn?

>>29401101
nope they don't have so high taxes
90% sure it is Finland or Sweden

>>29395669
you're retard bc of not trading crypto to cash via local guys

you deserve a fucking gold medal

>>29400112
>Just make enough money to buy a citizenship in Monaco and then create a bank account their. Withdraw all your crypto gains into that account.


Learn about OECD Common Reporting Standard

>>29397664
I thought Jared did prison reform.

It was something he did on his own, no one gave him ideas, it became a failure.

Prisons should offer time outside in the garden or something.

Also, fresh fruit and veggies every day.

Inmates should have the best quality organic fruit and veggies at every meal. Local producers would rejoice if they could supply prisons with their produce. It would be a win-win for everyone.

>>29401174
Shut up amerimutt

>>29394321
kek

>>29400219
Do you have to pay tax on small withdrawals?
Is $500 okay (food money)

>>29399210
What PDFs were you selling even

>>29398682
Yes, get the kosher food, it is more and better quality on airplanes as well. Familiar if you are from Eastern Europe. Another benefit of kosher food is that there are no weird meals like raw fish or haggis, just simple food, not much spice.

>>29401157
Justice comes from nature/God, Aristotle was among the first to note this, then Romans invented actual law, with judges and shit, and then Napoleon order the laws to be grouped in a code according to their uses, after that Schmitt laughed at the natural law and stated that actual law comes from rational men, but everyone followed (((Kelsen))) because muh nazis.

Human rights are completely jewish, made for and by the jews, human rights are not even positive law, but natural law, and as such they are mere fantasies to keep the people from killing the powerful and degenerate

tl;dr laws used to be based, but are jewish now

At least you're not getting banged up in Russia or the US. You probably don't even have to worry about dropping the soap.

>>29393765
based

>>29395669
What pdfs do you distribute?

>>29393765
>letting them take you to prison

lol beta. run away

>>29400845
Thanks...doing well now, sleep well at night too lol.
I mostly trade stocks, only have about 10k in crypto, mostly bitcoin...the stocks are on TDAmeritrade, coins on CB pro so its easy to record ins/outs. My audits seemed random, but they didnt probe deep because I used a CPA plus I was audited all my years on probation (without problems), so they had a decent amount of info already on me. Literally the only thing they personally asked me those two times was 'is that your signature?' in reference to my returns.

>>29401390
yeah theres no fucking reason they dont do that in county jails and shit. most the people in county jails have less than a year of time and you get 5 years for running and escaping so it makes no fucking sense.

the only people who get to go outside are people with like 3 months left and they get to do jobs outside but its basically picking weeds and shit. the gardening thing sounds fucking genius and saves tons of money

>>29398682
he's in europe, there's no Jews only halal food

>>29399868
no it's not that.
it's just a statistical artifact because so many blacks are in there, who just commit a lot of crimes regardless of whether they've been to prison before or not. White felons reoffend at much lower rates.

>>29395669
Larp

>>29393765

Do the CFA or at least prepare for it.

Get the latest text books, I, II, III, Schweisser CFA books are the best, they are concise. Get these on pdf or get it printed.

>>29396293
Holland is supposed to be pretty easy, Germany is widely regarded as unpleasant. idk if too much TV, but US prisons, unless min sec. fraud specialists daycare, do not appear especially appealing either.

At least you wont have to pay rent :) just hodl

>>29393765
>getting caught
Ngmi. Besides, minimum security is basically like a summer camp, you'll be fine

>>29396191


>>29398371
>Its obviously Germany.
I can't believe that.
Crypto is literally tax free after a year. How do you have to fuck that up?

>>29398795
there are european jails that are worse than american ones, not every country is norway

>>29395669
>>29393765

Crim anon business man here,

This story sounds legit but also missing a few extra details, from what I can guess. Paying yourself or selling your own PDFs or whatever, to yourself, or anyone who wants them is fine. As long as you were to pay the taxes on that, the government would have a very hard time trying to prove without a doubt that what you were doing was illegal or illegitimate. What sounds like what happened, was OP's operation was going fine, until he decided to buy some cocaine and weed off the recent darknets that have been compromised by German police. He bought some cocaine/weed maybe not even a trivial amount, but enough to "look into". His wallets were identified and his cash out method of his business was identified as a European entity within their jurisdiction. Warrants were obtained, investigations concluded, and he was convicted alongside some darknet dealers as a cyber-criminal.

Without prior knowledge of where he obtained the BTC, it could look like he got it all from selling and reselling on the drug markets, and he made a legit business to clean the money.

Ultimately you could have even gotten away with all of this if you just separated your wallets and your drug purchases, even if by one wallet, you could have gotten plausible deniability. Also, your lawyer is shit, and everything you told the police probably made their job easier.

rule # 1 DONT SAY A WORD.

>>29393765
I want to make it. Please.

>>29395669
Damn man, sorry you got caught but pretty based. Good luck to you and just be careful once you’re out. I’ve been to jail, albeit not as long as you will be for, but it passes and you’ll get your life back. Just try to protect your mental state, you sound smart, so focus on what your plan is for when you’re out and when you’re done, execute it.

>>29400157
So he can get CZ scamwicked after 1 week in prison? He'd be much better off holding it in a staking platform of some sort

>>29402694
>Crypto is literally tax free after a year. How do you have to fuck that up?
only for investment income
if you sell stuff, anything even non real digital things like runescape gold you have to pay taxes on the point of sale just like you were selling say sneakers in a brick and mortar store
and after that you have capital gains accruing for the crypto you do not immidately convert to fiat that becomes taxfree after 1 year

>>29395669
Which country did this happen? Holding BTC more than one year and it is tax free in Germany.

>OP went to jail for illegal runescape nonsense.

This thread is a waste of time.

>>29395482
10/10 art anon

>>29393765
>I got caught for money laundering + tax evasion

Based

>>29398001
America has been a shithole since shortly after its inception, let's not be coy, we're just a lucky shithole. Orange man was not the issue, merely a symptom of the rot that is deep to our American values. We are a selfish nation of ignorant, arrogant retards obsessed with race and cash money, and we've making enemies since the post-WWII era. China is hot on our heels, and I don't see the fundamental nature of American society changing in time to keep that dragon in check.

>>29400319
Sad truth. As a dude from one of the whitest non-slav countries, we think we're better, but we're just whiter.
Which makes us better, but still.

>>29397500
>losing your freedom
what freedom
>lockdown
>not allowed to own guns
>no money for travel
>have to present for work/uni every day otherwise die homeless
>still get imprisoned if I say the non government approved words
how is this freedom?

>>29401174
>>29401531
Burger anon has a point. But judging by that last post OP is from Finland. The justice system in this country is a complete joke. I've heard many stories like this here and the sheep mentality of most average working people allows it to continue. Most people haven't dealt with the law so they think anyone even accused of anything is already guilty. Even though the law says they have to prove you're guilty without a doubt most of the time in court they just convict anyway if you can't prove you're innocent. Complete bullshit. But nobody thinks this is an issue because if you're complaining you're obviously a filthy criminal anyway.

>>29402938
so Crime anon business man if i were to hypothetically launder money in minecraft of course
it would be a plan of interest to sell baby's first TA on cryptos on a monthly subscription plan
as it would be expected that the customer base would pay in crypto and would like to stay anon
just watch out that no wallets do the nasty and declare all salestaxes as applicable

>>29402938
>the government would have a very hard time trying to prove without a doubt that what you were doing was illegal or illegitimate
You'd be correct, but I can tell OP is from Finland. The justice system here doesn't work like that, even though on paper it's like anywhere else. Almost any case like this where the government thinks you did something wrong ends in a conviction unless you can prove you didn't do it. Because they already assume you did.

>>29402938
lesson: if you do shit, don't do lots of shit, just do one shit. Don't start doing shit all over

>>29393765
Cheer up and watch this funny video :)
https://youtu.be/kLWvu51Vk4E

>>29393765
terrified of this happening to me

>>29395669
honestly based as fuck, godspeed anon

I'm from Spain and every man who was in jail say the same "The people who fear to be jin prison are the ones who never had been in prison."

Man, European minimun security prison is like a Old people residence. You will have your own room, library, gym and grocery store to buy snaks, you can study some courses of fiscal administration meanwhile. And If you are a good boy, you will stay half of the time...

>>29405497
god i fucking hate america. it makes no sense that min security shit isnt like that everywhere

This goes far beyond a pink wojak. This warrants a new type of wojak.
>>29396442
So you're saying you really couldn't prove the source of your income because of Monero? There must be a better scheme...

>>29394160

"A highly intimate but perverse act performed between two individuals done for both pleasure or convincing a child."

>>29395172
IRS agents are armed and trained for that exact reason.
Same with postal inspectors.

>>29395669
Nevis, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Bermuda all sell passports. How much money you got?

>>29405854
he said he only has to do half the time. i dont think starting an entire new life is worth it over 1.5 years in jail in a cushy prison unless you literally had not a single fucking thing at home

there is more behind this. how in gods name did you figure out to do all this????

>>29393765
Silly Americans. I just need to hodl a year and it's tax free.

>>29403322
ah alright, I missed that difference in this case

>>29406136
he's not american you dumb fuck, he valued it in euros

>>29404671
This. Going through the ""justice"" system myself redpilled me real hard about how crooked everything really is..it's infuriating..they charged me for heroin possession while it was DMT, and they tested it 'positive for heroin'. Charged me as a heroin dealer, I never got a chance to prove it wasn't heroin at all but dmt

>>29400517
Depends on the country but I would assume they'd be more forgiving if you didn't intentionally go out of your way to evade taxes/launder money. Setting up a shell company to make your bitcoin "revenue" seem legitimate is pretty shady, although I can understand why someone might do it. Still dumb.

>>29406249
Doesn't matter, Americans are still silly.

>>29401531
what a fucking loser you are. just the thought that you are convicted because your government can't do it's fucking job even IF you actually did do a crime. shameful

>>29402938
This is definitely not Germany. This has to be a country with no clear crypto laws, otherwise OP would've only paid a fine. Plus getting the police to raid your home for taxes is not something they'd do.

>>29399249
Can you stfu please im sick of seeing your stupid chart

>>29405821
>armed and trained
As are many Americans who served in the military and grew up in military families, and it’s really unfortunate that so many federal agents believe themselves to be invincible while breaking the law and destroying lives.

>>29395669
This is pasta you dumb fuck nufaggots