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/biz/ - Business & Finance


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29280715 No.29280715 [Reply] [Original]

How can I say what I do in a fancy way without giving away the actual truth. I got rich off crypto and don't know how to answer this question, been avoiding it for too long now. I want something that sounds nice and sophisticated without actually having crypto involved.

>> No.29280739

>>29280715
say investments or trading, retard

>> No.29280784

>>29280715
consulting/work from home

>> No.29280787

>>29280739
>investments
Won't work. They'll ask "what kind of investments?".

>trading
Too zoomer and normie "profession". Not good.

>> No.29280811

>>29280787
you don't deserve to be rich with such a faggot attitude

>> No.29280817

>>29280715
I'm rich.

>> No.29280828
File: 27 KB, 620x375, jones-boddicker.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
29280828

>>29280715
just say data-entry
it's what i do.

>> No.29280830

>>29280784
They'll ask "what kind of consulting". I need something that involves finance but doesn't leave room for a lot of questions.

>> No.29280852

>>29280715
>>29280739
This. Or make something up like digital asset investment adviser.

>> No.29280855

>>29280787
Just tell them none of your business

>> No.29280894

>>29280715
>I'm a professional biznessman

>> No.29280897

>>29280830
you're going about this all wrong OP, you want questions. you know what they'll ask so just have an interesting answer or story queued up for it. that's the trick to being charming, don't think too hard, roll with it, have a few good fallback stories

>> No.29280958

>>29280852
Bonus when they get greedy and offer to give you money to invest into shitcoins for them.

>> No.29280961

>>29280715
short: i do finance
long:
im a manager of financial portfolios in high risk high reward markets
>where do you work anon
Telling you that would compromise certain aspects of the portfolio therefore I cant tell you

boom. Semi mysterious to girls, high test because the high risk high reward shit, and deniability because you cant disclose it. Also it is completely truthful, so you dont have to lie.

>> No.29280983

>>29280715
You're a venture capitalist helping to change the world with brand new technology that will vastly improve standards of living for billions of people.

But don't tell women what you do for a living. I do a mix of entrepreneur shit and waging, but when a female asks I tell her I am in fact a super hero and my days are spent fighting crime. Never give a straight answer and watch em melt in your hands.

>> No.29281041

>>29280811
Checked and fuck you.

>>29280828
That just sounds like a bullshit wagie job.

>>29280897
I've been going about it that way the very few times I couldn't avoid the question. Last time I was telling people I went to China for a business and I almost got stuck there. They all seemed very interested and amazed but I was bullshitting of course. It's kind of fun but at one point the lies can twist and I'll slip. Need an actual solid answer that's short and sweet.

>> No.29281054

>>29280983
>Never give a straight answer and watch em melt in your hands.
i too have found this to be the case
any question you dont want to answer you just make up ludicrous shit and for some reason people LIKE to hear it and might think you're funny

>> No.29281140
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29281140

>>29280715
importer/exporter

>> No.29281173

>>29280715
i simply say:
"I work from my phone"
People doesn't get investments and least crypto.

>> No.29281187

Tell them you shitpost all day while buying shitcoins and then mock them for their wageslaving if they give you any shit about it.

>> No.29281215

>>29280961
This sounds perfect actually. Thank man. You're a genius.

>>29281140
I once gave a similar answer to someone. They thought I'm a drug dealer. Good thing I never met them again.

>> No.29281254

>>29281041
yea. it's boring enough it keeps people out of my business. don't be such a attention fag.

>> No.29281300

>>29280715
Just say you’re a writer

>> No.29281308

>>29280961
Based

>> No.29281330

>>29280715
mo money mo problems

>> No.29281416

>>29280715
just say you're an asset manager?

>> No.29281483

>>29281041
You sound really autistic, why can’t you just tell people you got rich from crypto? That will be a mysterious and interesting answer to most normies anyway since they don’t know shit about crypto.

>> No.29281519

>>29280715
Just say NEET.

>> No.29281541

JOIN THE BANCOR GENERAL THREAD
>>29281260

>> No.29281546

>>29280715
Tell them you're a military contractor. Then just fuck off to South America for 6 months out of every winter and trade in a tropical climate.

>> No.29281618

>>29280715
Just say you trade shitcoins. Why the fuck do you care about what some wagie earning 75k a year compared to yoir 250k+? They either show interest or fuck off. Your also more than your work i hope op.

>> No.29281626

>>29281330
Used to think it's a meme but fuck, it's real.

>>29281483
>telling people you own crypto
ngmi

>>29281416
What this anon said >>29280961 is the perfect answer. Leaves no room for more questions.

>> No.29281637

>>29281215
np man glad i could help
if you could return the favor i am a poorfag noob with a question:
what are your long term 3-10yr holds in crypto? would you wait for the crash or just DCA if you were starting right now?
am going to bed so thanks in advance, threads on /biz/ cycle pretty fast these days

>> No.29281641

Tell them you make money trading bunny shaped pancakes and they'll probably think you escaped from some institution and leave you alone

>> No.29281689

Tell people your parents are rich

>> No.29281692

just say you're a trust fund kid
jesus christ this isn't hard

>> No.29281693

>>29281641
lel based schitzo

>> No.29281722

>>29281546
High IQ answer especially when one actually had military experience to be able to make up believable follow up questions.

I think i'll go with this as i actually served, not as a contractor though of course.

>> No.29281739

Tell them you're a "fixer" for the Clinton family

>> No.29281790

"I'm an accountant."

Problem solved.

>> No.29281836

>>29281637
I'm holding my BTC, ETH and LINK without any targets for the next years. As for more mid-term stuff, I got GRT at $0.55 and my target is $3, $5 and rest is hold stack. I do layered sells on every coin I buy for mid or long term hold. If you're looking to get in on it I'd recommend $1.90-2.10 levels.

If you don't already own crypto then you should definitely DCA now. I believe we'll keep going up a decent amount from here but no one can predict the future. DCA-ing has worked well for me in the past, especially with BTC and LINK.

>> No.29281843

>>29281722
For contracting, just say "I move people from point A to point B for the State Department. It sounds interesting, but I assure you, it's quite boring." Guaranteed everyone thinks you're some super interesting dude that is downplaying what he does out of secrecy concerns.

>> No.29281924

>>29280787
Just buy one share of GME and amc and say you own GME and amc. None of their business how much your assets are

>> No.29281942
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29281942

Just tell them you traded imaginary internet currency. Whats the point of being rich if you can't make poors seethe?

>> No.29281980

>>29281637
Also never get married to a coin. Always take profits after a 2x, 5x, etc. You can let some of it ride but you should be constantly putting profits into Bitcoin.

>> No.29282165

>>29281924
Don't want my name and Reddit in one sentence. Disgusting.

>> No.29282223

>>29280715
Just say you're a drug dealer
Or drop obvious not implicating hints

>> No.29282268

>>29280715
I eat tendies and win big

>> No.29282297

>>29281942
>ywn ride like a windrammer as you fuck

>> No.29282308

>>29280715
“Consultant” and be extra weird about it to seem mysterious.

>> No.29282347

>>29282268
That's a funny answer. Might use it in some situations but I'd say "I eat tendies and watch numbers on a screen".

>> No.29282407
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29282407

>>29280715
>"I'm a venture capitalist in decentralised finance"
If they ask further, answer truthfully with as much incomprehensible jargon as possible, never mentioning the words "crypto" or "token".

>> No.29282564

say you are the head of affiliate marketing at FTX exchange and also hold some coins on the side.

'what are you doing on the computer all the time'
- oh you know, work and business! i'll be there in a bit.

>> No.29282600

tell them you have an onlyfans
ride the clown

>> No.29282654

>>29280715
just start an ecom store and tell people you live off that income

>> No.29282662

>>29280715
Yield farmer, when they give you a confused look just say you wouldn't understand.

>> No.29283281

>>29282662
Tell them your grandfather willed you his residuals for investing in the production of "Back to the Future."

>> No.29283430

>>29280897
Okay Mr. Charmer, I’ll play along.
Uhh hi anon, haven’t seen you for a long time, what are you doing these days?

>> No.29283616

>>29281483
> break the rule #1 of owning crypto - Never tell anyone.

>> No.29283629

people you could tell others that you're an asset manager for dhedge, you know. if you pass the review, of course.
https://medium.com/dhedge-org/open-call-for-managers-1-45m-to-be-invested-7b3731139d7c

>> No.29283686

>>29281637
I would suggest DCA but more proactively.
For now just put in very small amounts just to get the foot in the game. During mega crashes and pink wojak days on /biz/ you DCA in aggressively. During bear season you also increase your DCA in amounts.
Good luck.

>> No.29283757

>>29283430
i just made thirty thousand dollars gambling on an internet coin with a cartoon pancake as a mascot. i have masturbated twelve times in the last thirteen days and i'm not sure what day it is. have you ever heard of catboys? it's some kind of weird internet cult, i think they might be based but they also seem pretty big on butt stuff. Yellen said they're cracking down but this bull run isn't showing any signs of stopping down. I'm always afraid Bobo is going to wake up the black swans though. Even if they do and I lose my gains I can always ape back in on a few pajeet scamcoins and make a quick buck on some pump and dumps. So yeah life's been okay, at least I'm not waging for tendies like a fucking faggotnigger.

How about you? What have you been up to?

>> No.29283791

>>29280715
OP, I've been down this road, and taken both paths. Do not tell anyone about crypto.
Tell them you trade stocks. It's hard to rob someone of stocks. Generalized stocks don't hit the news like crypto does. If they are impressed you can live off trading, tell them you're just seeing how long you can make it and that taxes take so much but it's nice to take a break from working.
When they ask what you're into lately, recommend ARK or something exciting but safe. Yes it makes no fucking sense, but they WILL go buy that shit and you don't want it coming back to you.
Or say forex, no one gives a fuck about forex.

>> No.29283875

>What do you do for work anon? Your clothes are always so nice

"oh uh you know a bit of this and that, cash in hand stuff mostly"

>Come on you clearly have a very nice job

"ah yeah I dont like talking about it"

>Uhhm okay so what? are like a drug dealer or something?

"no nothing like that"

>Haha I knew it anon, You arent the type to work in some high flying job, can I get a score?

Feels like shit lads, just be honest with people

>> No.29283951

>>29280787
You’re so dumb that no matter what you tell people they wont believe you. Tell them you’re a trustfund baby.

>> No.29284158

>>29283951
people hate trust fund babies. thats exactly what OP is trying to distance himself from. "I work in business" is the best answer. if they ask for more just say you work in equity management

>> No.29284175
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29284175

>>29283757
>i have masturbated twelve times in the last thirteen days
is that supposed to be a lot god i don't know what's normal anymore

>> No.29284407

>>29283791
>forex
I member watching some show about a high finance scammer who told the government that he lost all his money on forex, and that seemed to be the final note, like 'well that shit is gone forever'

>> No.29284442

Just say you're retired

>> No.29285136

>>29281739
based.

>> No.29285775
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29285775

>>29280715
Recnt investment success mas made you look into real estate.....

Or you could tell her the truth and not squander you weath trying to prove a lie because you know fuckall about REAL investing or real estate.

Any bitch worth keeping won't care you a BTC retarded.

Just take a shower, cut you har, and shave avast. Lrobay yo late to get/fi/. Read a book and actually start investing in the stock market.. seems like you have some capital and a good eye for moonshoys.

>> No.29285957

>>29283757
Based

>> No.29286152

>>29283757
A copypasta was wasted for this

>> No.29286255

>>29280715
tell them you sell meth

>> No.29286742

>>29280855
holy, checked and based

>> No.29286841

>>29280715
"I am in finance", end conversation there.
If pressed and have to answer "I launder money you don't want to know further details."

>> No.29287145

>>29286841
Based.

>> No.29287297

>>29280830
you're obtuse and hopeless. Just stay in your basement and don't talk to people. jfc. Say you do consulting for financial service related software/web developers. Nice and vague and it gives you a cover for your knowledge. You're just the guy who helps the nerds code a nice product for their customers. When people pry, just start talking about charts and how they work. They'll glaze over and leave within minutes. Plus you're a faggot. Congrats on the bank account