/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>29125028
Based Deano.

>>29125028
God i fucking want to be a deano.

Lush Audi which may be on finance but you don't care and it gives you respect. Gf with big fake tits who you have mad coked up sex with daily. Just pure enjoying life without neurotic self-reflection. Probably have good times with Mo and Ahmed down at the pakishop because you don't read the news enough to know they're noncing kids.

Deano is end game and it's that simple.

>Just want to achieve the deano lifestyle

why is that too much to ask for now lads? housing is completely fucked

>>29125092
>>29125133
Being a Deano must be bliss due to the ignorance they have

>>29125141
i feel like the problem is deano peaks in his late 20s/early30s and then what?

>>29125368
He simply Deanos into his mid 30s then the transition to Bazza begins

>>29125368
they become fat and bald middle managers, at least in america.

>>29125179
In Deano's world, Deano is the supreme life-form. I have to envy that kind of confidence.

>>29125368
Deano's mrs gets preggers
Deano's life now revolves around blogging his little champion

>>29125368
The Baz transition then begins

please dump more deano memes/copypasta, I love these

>>29126051
Anyone have the pasta about Deano moving into his brand new Barratt new build, ordering Domino's and then getting a letter about his mortgage with some stupid interest rate?
That one's gold

>>29126051
best meme

>>29126109
Deano wouldn't understand the percentage sign. He's too busy living his best life for that to slow him down.

Deanos are usually stupid cunts (especially with money). They are the type of people to buy the top, for example

>>29126109
course mate, mint that one aha, love it

>>29126109
>>29126226
>that smell of fresh carpet
>that fine martian dust on all the surfaces
>that builders mcdonalds trash in the recycling box
>Deanoid cracks open the door on his new empire, letting the waft of fresh dome waft waftily over him, like cracking open that first can of the night
>his access card clatters down and echoes on the table, he cracks open his first fosters of the night, 3 pint cans in the fridge. bosh. home sweet home
>the stench of carpets begins to dull his senses
>he can't tell if he's warm or cold, his dome is so well insulated and it's completely silent.
>Deanoid hums chelsea dagger to himself. his own palace. he notices one of the brown letters that looks important
>sat in the middle of his "living room" floor (where the beanbag's going), Deanoid opens the letter
>'Congratulations on your new home. MR Dean Oswald, We hope that you are settling well. This is a note to notify you that we will commence taking payments of 4919 credits p/w/p.a/pp commencing as of the first of last month, not including the outstanding monthly and bimonthly interest inclusions at 299% APR per annum. Regards Conglomobank'.
>Deanoid's eyes see the words but none of it sinks in. he drops the letter and pulls a pizza menu towards him
>Fuck yeah! The local pizza place do donner meat on a pizza! The lads are gonna flip their shit!

>>29126109
>that smell of fresh carpet
>that fine dust on all the surfaces
>that builders mcdonalds trash in the recycling box
>deano cracks open the door on his new empire, letting the waft of fresh house waft waftily over him, like cracking open that first can of the night
>his key clatters down and echoes on the table, he cracks open his first fosters of the night, 3 pint cans in the fridge. bosh. home sweet home
>the stench of carpets begins to dull his senses
>he can't tell if he's warm or cold, his house is so well insulated and it's completely silent.
>Deano hums chelsea dagger to himself. his own palace. he notices one of the brown letters that looks important
>sat in the middle of his "living room" floor (where the beanbag's going), Deano opens the letter
>'Congratulations on your new home. MR Dean Oswald, We hope that you are settling well. This is a note to notify you that we will commence taking payments of £4919 p/w/p.a/pp commencing as of the first of last month, not including the outstanding monthly and bimonthly interest inclusions at 299% APR per annum. Regards Conglomobank'.
>Deano's eyes see the words but none of it sinks in. he drops the letter and pulls a pizza menu towards him
>Fuck yeah! The local pizza place do donner meat on a pizza! The lads are gonna flip their shit!

You uncultured heathens its an adaption of american psycho. If you’ll excuse me I need to go return some video tapes.

shieet whoops

I fucking hate deanos. I hate deano culture. I hate the groomed eyebrows and beard. I hate the fucking gay tan from the sunbeds. I hate the gymshark tracksuits. I hate the plastic fucking caked up Mrs.

>>29125133
Deanos I know wish they had a high IQ. You can see it in their eyes. They are all pretty stupid. They are low key jealous of more intelligent people
.

>>29126277
>>29126282
Lmao that's the one
Cheers anons

fuck me

>>29126453
Who cares about Deano, in a few years we will all be crypto millionaires while he slaves away at the car dealership r-right?

>>29126453
This 10x.

who the fuck is a Deano? Is it something like the Joneses?

>>29126531
God that's awful. I almost pity Deano but he's too stupid to understand.

>>29126677
Deano is a good proper lad, true salt of the earth

>>29126681
>>29126596
>>29126453
Daily reminder that you will never be as happy as Deano.
Deano's content with the simple pleasures in life. Game of Fifa with the lads. Watching Love Island with the Mrs. Taking keys of coke in the club toilets on a night out with his boys.
God I wish I was a Deano.

The deanowagen trifecta

>>29126677
Hard to capture the essence of Deano in a few words desu mate.

Just read the thread and you'll get that picture.

>>29126207
deano sounds perpetually comfy, that last line sounds absolutely lush doyouknowwhatimean yeah?

>>29126807
Deano needs to be made to understand the nature of his existence and that he's actually not happy.

Kek most new builds are fucking trash quality and lose value in the first few years anyway.

>>29127010
That's the joke.

>>29127003
Why? Deano's comfy and happy.

>>29127010
True. Some are comfy though, as long as they're not fucking tiny.

>>29127062
>Why? Deano's comfy and happy.
Yes, and that's a bad thing.

I have a Deano across the road from me, him and the lads have garden parties when the footie is on, I can hear their cheers and singing while I sit at my computer. They sometimes light fires, so I can hear the sound of crackling wood throughout the night.

I have to admit, during the summer it's peak comfy. Unironically looking forward to the Euros just so I can have deano bants in the background.

I wouldn’t fucking want to be a deano. I find his lifestyle pathetic and depressing. I’d rather be me, an individual.

Jaded with his new life, John moves to an abandoned hilltop tower, near the village of Puttenham, where he intends to adopt a solitary ascetic lifestyle in order to purify himself of civilization, practising self-flagellation. This soon draws reporters and eventually hundreds of amazed sightseers, hoping to witness his bizarre behaviour; one of them is implied to be Lenina. At the sight of the woman he both adores and loathes, John attacks her with his whip. The onlookers are wildly aroused by the display and John is caught up in the crowd's soma-fuelled frenzy. The next morning, he remembers the previous night's events and is stricken with remorse. Onlookers and journalists who arrive that evening discover John dead, having hanged himself.

>>29126823
OK, but where does the name come from?

>>29127278
I used to work with a bunch of Deanos, they were alright.
>They caught onto my autism pretty quickly after I started there
>Still invited me out to the pub for drinks every week
>Always included me in the bantz
>Work snapchat/whatsapp was bantztrain 24/7
>They all eventually went onto much better paying jobs
God bless them, hope they make it.

Deano is essentially Henry Foster from Brave New World.

>>29127278
I’m avoiding new builds for this reason, among other things.

My gf doesn’t even like them too, she prefers older houses.

We take the piss but deanos have friends, girlfriends, good income if you can actually afford a house in the UK atm, enjoy themselves, a half attempt at a positive personality not watching cartel executions online and complaining about niggers, etc.
It's the cringe normie interests and metrosexual side they have that repulse me.

>>29127590
Deanos are sound but they’re tiresome to be around al the time if you’re an introvert.

Uni was exhausting, it was fun to play a bit of FIFA and on nights out but it was just constant banter and jokes 24/7 like give it a rest lads can we have a normal conversation for once.

>>29127712
See, Deano's only reveal their true soul to their closest friends, usually when peaking on MDMA or coming down on coke.
If you're a co-worker or just an acquaintance you will just receive the Deano bantz and laughs 100% of the time.

My dream home
https://www.barratthomes.co.uk/new-homes/kent/h762901-perry-court/

>>29127976
God I hate Britain

Best thread on /biz/ today
Deanos aims are our aims
Minus the finance
Deaoncoin when???

>>29127667
Be the change you want to see anon, misanthropic deanoid awaits you

>>29127976
would blow my brains out if I lived there

>>29127341
Alright snowflake, cry into your empty wallet while I fuck all the bad bitches. Get em hooked on blow and they never wanna go, ez way to land a 10 innit pal. Why do you envy me? Do you really want had and the lads to come round? Dint think so wasteman

>>29127434
>you will never whip a bitch so hard it causes a spontaneous orgy
why even live lads?

>>29128018
>>29128139
Nice area, semi rural and near a golf course so I can tee off with the lads pretty handily.
Only a 3 minute drive in my Audi A3 to the station and then only 30 minutes into the city which is handy if you work in Insurance.
And only a 5 minute drive into the bustling local centre of Faversham and the renowned Phoenix tavern where one can snort lines of bad coke during quiz night on a Thursday.
What's not to love?

god i fucking luv Deano

Gwan my son!!

>>29128324
You’re role playing as some sort of a Cockney thug, not a deano. Deano isn’t this malicious.

0/10 try again autist

>>29126362
well done you fucking dipshit, such incredible insight, I don't think anyone would have put it together without your help anon

>>29128509
indeed. Deano is a consoomer who bought football shirts instead of marvel tees

>>29128324
Fuck off back to /pol/, I know it's you. Going to come up to Bearsden and kick your cunt in you faggot.

gwan deano lad, crackin deal on a 2 bed new build. proper nice

Baz?

>>29125028

>>29128872
Baz is just Deano past 40.

>>29127976
>half a million for some soulless clone neighbourhood
That's a yikes

>>29125028
Based yoshikage poster

>>29126453
Deano would probably love you anon, why the hate? You should be living your best life not worrying about what others are doing with theirs.

do deanos enjoy a cheeky nandos?

>>29129502
they luv it

>>29128398
There are indeed worse places to live.

>>29129502
They live for it. Nando’s on deliveroo now, that’s half time sorted

>>29128872
You can tell the Deano lives the best years of his life. He's ignorant about anything that's not footie, birds or clubbing with the lads. Once he settles and the days of clubbing are long gone, he realises that the world is truly shit and that he can't escape his 25 years mortage. Plus his sole income (he realises is below average) is threatened by the foreigners flooding the country. He then goes to pubs and meets like-minded individuals. That's when the Deano becomes a Bazza.

>>29129945
Bazza is punished Deano

>>29129748
>these lads banter your missus while in the club

what do you do?

>>29127976
british new builds make me want to rope

>>29130086
>You either die a melt or live enough to see yourself become the geezer

>>29128398
Barratt homes are piles of shit. Google it and you'll find a million stories of people who's houses fell to pieces in a few months, leasehold scams, etc.
It's why they have that big rainbow "precious NHS" ad, to try and deflect the hate.

>>29130446
i mog them, so they wouldn't

Everyone here would trade their bitcoins to be deno lets be honest

>>29130902
even if it holds together for a few years, the rooms are tiny

>>29125368

Yeah anon life goes on and we get old, fair point

>>29127976
As someone who works on new build sites now and again, I'd genuinely never buy one. Piss poor build quality and over priced as fuck.

>>29126677

He sounds like the brit version of Chad

>>29130795
mans dont say geezer

>>29130795
"geezer" is cockney slang, not norf

>>29131516
not necessarily chad but happy regardless
>>29131715
>mans
N

>>29131715
>>29131831
No idea, I'm not bri'sh

>>29131875
meant to say mancs

non brit here, what's so bad about those houses? I'd rather live there instead of a tiny apartment surrounded by niggers tbqh

>>29129945
>>29130086
>>29130795
Caterwauling

>>29126497
Intelligence is cope.
Most intelligent people never make it and are stuck in middle/upper-middle class.
Might as well be stupid and enjoy it.

>>29126531
the fuck is a Barratt home tho

>>29125028
>plasma
kek

>>29127341

>>29132244
they are just copy pasted and built to a shite quality
kinda like our equivalent of yank suburbs

>>29132835
meh, there are worse places to live. they seem a bit expensive judging by the link posted itt tho

>>29132560
Barratt are a company that build shitty, soulless houses in the UK.

would this be considered to be a quitessential deano tune?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjfkZHSu1Cc

>>29132762
t. Knows nothing about Deano culture and has never interacted with Deano

>>29132876
>they seem a bit expensive judging by the link posted itt tho
they are some of the cheapest houses you can get in the UK, but yes they aren't that bad really
terraced houses are cheaper in a lot of towns though like pic related

>>29133047
>not Chelsea Dagger

>>29130446
just banter init mate

>>29133047
No, Joel Corry and Tom Zanetti are arch deanos

https://youtu.be/iDeMxlhm8XI

https://youtu.be/8_OIkuwEGtg

>>29126362
You sound like such a dork. Such a boring, spineless lightweight. Now, if we're talking about Bryce or McDermott...

>>29125028
In a somewhat related note has anyone read American Psycho?

The film is quite iconic in its own way of course but growing up, the book is what really changed me from a lowlife liberal commie loser who didn't really care about money or financial success, to a gym going, goal oriented loser with a new found disrespect for women and a desire to be stupidly rich.

I only wish I read it sooner. I do think it saved me from the path of ultra-liberalism that was being pushed at university so I guess it didn't come too late

>>29125028
>Bateman

>>29134200
What age did you read it at?

>>29127341
I'd hate to be you, an individual

>>29134893
18 or 19. I was quite immature for my age too so probably more impressionable than most

Deano must be a euro thing. First time I've heard of it. Altho there are definitely American variants.

>>29134200

Why is this book/movie aesthetic so appealing to millenial men? I'm the same way. It's like a modern power fantasy

>>29135156
Wouldn’t say many. But narcissistic psychopaths identify with the main character.

>>29134200
>a gym going, goal oriented loser with a new found disrespect for women and a desire to be stupidly rich
The whole idea is to show how empty those kind of people are, or at least can be. They're just a different kind of sheep in nicer suits. Patrick Bateman isn't meant to be someone to idolize.

>>29133084
Do they all drive the same 90s silver astra?

>>29134200
you probably took it that way because you're a midwit, no offense. Not that you should have became a brainwashed university homo instead but just maybe try reading it again in a few years

>>29131213
S O U L

>>29137398
look at that fucking labyrinth

>>29137398
My exgf's brother bought one of those new build shitboxes. His unironically became a literal shitbox because they connected the downstairs drainage into the run-off drainage from his sloped back garden. Every time it rained heavily the downstairs toilet would backfill and seep sewage everywhere. Cost him 1000's to fix and the builders basically laughed at him when he tried to get them to sort it out.

>>29127976
>characterful exterials

lmao what

>>29134200
Read it again retard

>>29137398
>>>29131213

>CHARACTERFUL EXTERIALS

>>29138116
>perv court

love me a deano thread, simple as.

Deanos are unironically sound as fuck. I always get on with Deanos and bants abound each and every time. Cheers boys haha mad tha

>>29128324

hes done a number on you

>>29134200
I did about four years ago, at age 26. I should read it again.
>>29135156
Interesting question for which I do not have the answer.

I often ruminate over the perceived rampant obedient antiseptic materialism of the British culture.
As if the normalcy matrix has seeped into their collective souls and made cctv at every corner, nanny-state police and tv licensers, and grey audi boxes as a sign of materialistic superiority over envious neighbors.
Some brit weigh in here to two me in wrong because this legit sounds like a creeping hell.

>>29125368
They ascend to norfhood

>>29127503
Working class Brits in the south east are all either called Deano or any consonant followed by ‘az’ ‘ez’ or ‘ev’

I worked for a property maintenance company once that was filled with Essex Bois, every single one had a name such as Bev, Kev, Dev, Taz, Wez, Kez, but the ruler of these noble estate names is of course Deano

>>29140209
You’re not wrong, but it’s maybe 80% of the population, who live in and around urban centres.

Deano is basically what happens when white trash (people with shallow values) can access money.

can anyone make the american version of a deano?
>t. california bro guy

>>29140209
>pull on my Clarks Beeswax desert boots, black rip-knee slim jeans, my white oxford shirt and cap it off with my green bomber jacket (size medium) from ASOS
>make sure X-Factor semis are set to record on the Sky+HD box before heading out
>lock the door of my 2-bed Barratt New Build behind me
>hop in the Audi A3 2L TDI purchased on a finance agreement
>the missus gets in the passenger seat
>set off on our second trip to IKEA in 2 weeks
>have a wander round the aisles
>debate with the missus whether or not the MALM set of drawers we have in the lounge is too obviously from IKEA and if we should be shopping at somewhere like Oak Furniture Land these days instead now we can afford it after her promotion to Assistant Staff Call Co-ordinator at the call centre
>buy a new desk lamp and potted cactus near the end to have something to make the trip worth while
>grab a bag of mini Daims as well for when we're watching X-factor later
>drop the missus off home
>boost into town, pushing 40 in the freshly paved streets of my exclusive barrat estate because I know there's no cameras
>head over to Smithy's barbershop
>get my usual mates-rates weekly skin-tight-to-number-2 fade undercut from Smithster himself
>meet up with Callum and Deano in spoons and sink a few jars over the footie
>head to the toilet and take a snap of my new haircut with my dick out and send it to the 19-year-old I've been texting for the last 3 days
>head home in the car
>stop in at Raj Mahal's Curry House en route
>pick up a Jalfrezzi and a Korma with rice, poppadoms, tub of extra sauce, veggie pakora and a special nan
>get home, sit down with the missus to watch the X-Factor with the feet up
>wait for the missus to go to bed
>crank one out to some extremely overproduced Brazzers porn downloaded on my outdated BitTorrent client, addled with malware
>check my phone; 19-year-old has text me back a picture of her chebs
>forward it to Davo
>head upstairs
>slip in beside the missus in our comfy IKEA bed

>>29129748
All chest no legs, like a real man.

>>29126207
>>29126207
>>29126207

I feel like social media has put these lads on top of the world. Before instagram and cheap budget airlines their life was meaningless, in an endless see of diverse genetic lines theirs was dormant, lying in wait for botox and reality TV to kick into gear.

They have their time in the sun, and they make hay and reproduce until the next nihilistic phase oh humanity thousands of years from now.

Nature is beautiful.

I work at a car dealership (not a sales lad kek) and fuck me finding the Deano meme has made it impossible to go through the work day with a straight face

>>29132835
Those ones aren't that bad. They still have the soulless demeanour sure, but they're spaced out, have front gardens and driveways which most new builds dont, which is the real problem with them

The new build estate near me absolutely reeks of dog shit because the houses are so packed together and everyone has dogs but nowhere to walk them. you cant drive a car through them because there are no driveways so cars are just all over the fucking place with nowhere to park

>tfw no britbiz discord to have some bants with the lads while pumping and dumping the rest of the world with some BSC gems

>Imagine actually buying any type of property in this shithole country thru a mortgage

>>29129945
>>29129945

Only 315k Lads you'd be rude not to.

brits are so pathetic

t. russian

>>29142874
Do you get on with the Deanos at work?

I've lived in the UK for 5 years now , i hate the fake constant banter , people in the UK call eachother mate and pal but in reality it's all fake . The country i'm from we have real brotherhood and connection .

>>29143117
This. There must be enough based blokes here to start one..

>>29143242
Don't worry ive found a 95% mortgage pal. Getting me a Merc a class on finance too makin moves innit.

This thread was moved to >>>/bant/12165708