/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>28370419
My idea is to not be a poorfag, and that's why I need your money.
Thank you Mr. O'Leary,
I will gladly take your money and in exchange will give you a 5$ royalty on all of the welfare checks I receive from here on out.

>>28370419
I'm building a yuge mecha dildo to shove it in your ass.

>>28370419
I'm gonna buy Iota

>>28370419
>s-so uh, there's this cryptocurrency called Chainlink. It uses decentralized ora-

>>28370419
Vodka with enough LSD in it to give each shot a microdose

>>28370419
I don't need your money kike. Take your royalty deals and jewish tricks and go fuck yourself

>>28370888
>*chews bicmac*
>*burps* oracles, excuse me
>We intend to release *sluuurp* steak-er... staking soon too

>>28370419
So the plan is to create a discord server with about 20 microsoft support-tier pajeets. I will create a coin once a month by copy pasting boilerplate code, and hire a marketing team to design the logo and create a folder of memes. We will need somewhere between 50-100 ETH worth of liquidity to build a false sense of trust amongst market participants. Coordinate with the marketing team to make sure that the brand evokes faith with sales pitches such as "liquidity locked", and "deflationary token economics", "moonshot". We then deploy the product on the open market and W H A M

The shill raids begin. Buy orders start rolling in from all around the world and the telegram fills up to the brim. All FUD is quarantined for genocide, and moonboi/HODL shills coordinate a mentality of apathy as the plan unfolds. The chart will begin to skyrocket as the sheer weight of our numbers and stylish marketing causes daily revenue increases in the thousands of percent. Then, just as things begin to look grim at shill HQ, we sell the company on the open market and cash out our profits. Generally we can expect a 50-1000% profit ratio per month. If you know of anything that can beat that, kill yourself you lying jew. So, do you want to make some fucking money or what, Larry?

>>28370419
All in on rubic sirs

>>28370419
Ok so its an at home stool replacement kit. I need money to make it look fancy because in reality its pretty cheap. Kevin, did you know that stool has stem cells? Medical doctors replace stool all the time! It cures IBS and the digestive system will regain a healthy flora if disrupted. You can even replace it with a porn stars! Each poop log will sell for $5, and the buttplug and funnel set for $8.99. So thats literally $13.99 for a healthy new life. What do you say Kevin? Want to try my product? I know Mark does!

>Invest 100k in my miner company
>One miner makes $140 a day and costs 2k
>50 miners will earn you $7000 a month
>break even in 14 months

>>28370419
i need money to finish my transition.
i've run out of funds for my hormone therapy so now i'm stuck half way between transationing.
anything helps
god bless

0xDDffF852b42B5DBcCD73274D566B33a61e0c83Eb

>>28371301
sent

>>28371301
oh and in return you may stick your winky in my bitty boy butt cunt ;)

>>28371049
this hurts.....

>>28370888
checked and bigmac-pilled

>>28371235
Hypothetically, how big of a cut does the middle man get?
If one poop log sells for 5$, and I sell you my poop logs wholesale, what would be paid per poop log?

So there is a small island in the Himalayan Sea called Malderiki, upon which I own a large mansion.
Every year after the first rain, the Newport Beach Wine Society (of which I am a member) gathers at my mansion to watch the island's natives grovel in the mud as their pathetic straw dwellings are ripped apart by the rising waters.
On this island there is also a fish, called a Piranha Giganticus. Coinciding with the first rain, this fish swims into the flooded island and begins to feed on the older and weaker natives of Malderiki.
Unable to defend themselves from the killer fish and utterly helpless, the natives make their way to my mansion in makeshift canoes.
At this point, the Newport Beach Wine Society opens a bottle of pre-revolution French Chardonnay, dated no later than 1760, and places wagers on which native will be the first to reach the high ground of my sprawling lawn.
Once the fish has fed and returned to the Sea, there are typically a handful of natives left on my lawn, at which point we activate the electric fence and release the crocodiles.
Last year, during the crocodile feeding, a tiny speck of native flesh was flung from the lawn up to the balcony where the Newport Beach Wine Society was gathered and landed on my shoe. I retrieved the piece of flesh and placed it in my mouth, washing it down with a glass of Moldovan Pino Griggio.
Right now, YOU Mr. O'Leary, are that piece of flesh.

>>28370419
yes dear i having the idea for decentral shitting,,

>>28371397
Pretty good these days bro. Uniswap really cut out the "uber corp" middle man. I can sell my leeches and poop stool direct to fellow bartermen by first representing it as an erc-721 NFT which my business stipulates upon purchase may be redeemed and send the goods to whatever PO box.

>>28370419
A bagel bakery franchise that is exclusively located next to law firms.

>>28371535
lmao

>>28370419
Okay get this.
Lungs.
Lungs, right?
Everyone needs em.
I’m working on a lung filtration system.
It works to filter coronavirus particles and can even be made fashionable as an accessory, to be worn over the breathing orifice. We’ve seen incredible growth, dome would say hyper, since March of last year. If this keeps up we could be doing billions in revenue with your help!

>>28370419
>well sir...um
>ok so theres these things called oracles...

>>28370419
I don't have an idea. But I do have a deal.

I am going to say the N word on live TV unless I walk from this room with 10 million dollars. It is already too late to cut to commercials, as I have infiltrated the broadcast center with my own men.

You have thirty seconds to decide.

>>28370419
a cereal that looks like little pancakes and when you pour milk on them it makes the milk taste like maple syrup...and just a hint of butter. i'm asking for 50k and 5% to produce, package, and market FlapJacks

>>28370419
I need 75k, put it all in a bank accoun that gives me 3.5% monthly rate, and use those $2625 as a salary to live like a king in some third world shithole while fucking teen natives and eating bbq while taking care of my garden.
Your earning is the satisfaction of allowing a retard to live in maximum hedonism

>>28370419
Hi long time viewer first time Shark. I am going to sell you the coin of a lifetime. Everyone likes Fun. Everyone likes Fairs. What about FunFair. The nonfungible, trilemma solving, ERC-50 token of the future. Funfair offers true randomness and going to easily go to 1 dollar by 2021. I am asking for 50 million dollars for my stack of 60 million funs.

Personalized Cum Jars.

>>28370419
>*snort*
Well, you see, there is something amazing that I have to show you, that ackchuelly the average midwit would not understand, but you and I aren't midwits, are we Mr. O'Leary!
It's this wonderful new idea called a blockchain, and I have the whitepaper to show you just how it works!

>>28370419
I want a proper Conservative party so with 1 million dollars, I will invest in PPC and we can have a better Canada..

>>28370419
Humanoid sentient maid robots using neural networks for speech and movement systems + electroactive polymers for realistic muscle simulation + sensory mesh to simulate touch and feeling

>>28371049
>kike it up

>>28370419
You misunderstand kevin, I dont need your money. YOU need to give me your money. For you see, today i am selling you.....the antidote. No no kevin, dont get up or reach for that phone. No doctor or police man can make it in time now. Now pitch me YOUR offer