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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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26737646 No.26737646 [Reply] [Original]

Hello sirs my name is John Smith. Just 2 hours I received an email from H.R outlining that our pensions have been liquidated. Our pensions were managed by Melvin Capital and now we have nothing. This is horrible as I am an average Joe American who is part of a middle-class family from the suburbs. Your gambling addictions harm everyone; sell immediately or you will cause more uneeded suffering.

>> No.26737733

>>26737646
I only care if I have money.

>> No.26737838

why do people put their retirement funds on someone else's hands? I will never understand this, it's like you're asking to lose your money

>> No.26737850

>>26737646
for future use of this pasta, add in that he has an ex-wife he needs to pay alimony to, and adopted african children

>> No.26737953

>>26737838
I am an average Joe American middle-class man who wants to provide to his family and had the funds managed under Melvin Capital corporation. You must sell gamer shop shares immediately or else the Melvin company will continue to remove pensions from our accounts. Do not harm middle-class Average-joe mom and pop americans any more sirs.

>> No.26737985

>>26737646
if it had actually been liquidated (it hasnt because you're larping) then it wouldn't matter if we sold, you'd still have nothing.

>> No.26738058

>>26737646
And that John Smith's name? Ari Interestratestein

>> No.26738257

>>26737646
Obvious larp but you should always have a Roth IRA as one of your retirement accounts. You’re in control and since it’s after tax every dollar in your account is yours.

>> No.26738265

>>26738058
John Smith is the name ma mother gave me when I was born in Texas m'8. I was part of the red-blooded American working class and now have nothing as the Melvin corporation is being ruined by gambling yee-haws such as y'allselves. Please be more considerate and do the needful.

>> No.26738448

>>26737646
>>26737646
how the fuck do stocks work, ill watch one of these cocksuckers for like 30 minutes and it will just go up and up and up and then as soon as i click buy it just inverts and drops. like not only instantly but by multiple percent. its like its specifically set up to place the peak at the point when i press buy

>> No.26738563

>>26737646
Faggot! Lol

>> No.26738664

UPDATE: HR just emailed us and said that if Kleros Pinakions reach $1 by the end of this week we will get back our pension funds. Oh my I can't believe this! Do the needful please.

>> No.26738716

>>26737646
>Your gambling addictions harm everyone
Melvin shouldn't have been doing risky shit like shorting GME. Blame them.

>> No.26739285
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26739285

>>26737850
And boomer medical bills

>> No.26739360

>>26737646
All investment carries risk :^)

>> No.26740259

>>26737646
You'll never be a real woman, Shill.
This is a garbage Slide thread
Sage goes in all fields.

>> No.26740677

>>26737646
Pensions are covered by the pension guarantee fund and hedge funds are for rich people

>> No.26740856

YOU SHOULD BUY!