/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>25433917
do you think you can handle the 90k job?

Imagine selling out your soul and all your time for $90,000

>>25433945
I think I can bullshit and pull through for at least 6 months to a year and maybe find another job.

>>25433917
go big nigger. if you get fired leave it off your resume and go small.

t.someone who has faked references his entire career

fuck HR, bury HR

>>25433917
>get hired because you say you know how to do XYZ
>hey anon welcome aboard, we need you to do XYZ on this project, see you at next week’s meeting, please be ready to share what you’ve done with the team
So you are either smart enough to fake XYZ or you aren’t

>>25434020
Experience does not equal knowledge.

>>25434020
>get hired because I say I will learn XYZ
>say still haven't learned XYZ when they ask
>do this and stall for 6 months to a year

Good plan?

>>25433986
Based. Fuck em op, you dont owe shit to no one

>>25434020
>bullshit my way through meeting
>stall xyz project
>get fired but still walk away with few months of pay for nothing

Anyone remember that teenager anon from a few years ago who lied about his resume and landed some regional manager position at a large company?

>>25433917
If you can lie on your ability and study fast you can actually make it.
I’d do it and I already did that kind of things. Never got questioned

I also have a schizophrenia diagnosis, how do I profit from this?

>>25434195
My lying is so horrible I always make Obama pauses , but people still believe me. I can study fast because I was an AP student in high school.

I have schizo, guys. Will they keep me despite my fuck ups? SCHIZO GUY MAKING ROOM.

whats the actual job OP? "Real" IT jobs you cant fake of being skilled, but there's always leeches in IT whose jobs anyone can "fake it till you make it"

> bullshit and pull through for at least 6 month
hah, ne you cant. you can either bullshit for indefinitely or you cant at all.

>>25434502
Quality Assurance Engineer. My brother says they will keep you for a minimum of 3 months if you study nothing and do nothing. I learned everything on Udemy, just enough to get past the interviews.

>>25433986
What's a good way to fake references? We practically have to do it at these point with just how competitive simple entry level jobs have gotten

>>25433917

>5 figure salary
>”big”

Kek

>>25434647
I won't make it with my job alone. I'm going to buy up ETH.

>>25434537
>Quality Assurance Engineer

eh, that sounds like something you can maybe bullshit through.
Keep in mind a real senior software developer who isnt bullshitting wouldnt quickly recognize youre bullshitting if you dont know what youre talking about.

>>25434262
So how do I profit from being schizo? Will I keep my job for longer? Maybe even 2 years? Kek ^_^ I'm searching for jobs now my recruiter submitted my resume.

>>25434747
I see lots of schizos on street corners and outside train stations selling magazines.

>>25434799
Not this schizo!

>spot a website of a random startup related to your area of work
>replicate the webpage and make a couple of changes
>rename the company to whatever you want
>contact a decent photographer to take a pic where you can look professional and clean
>put yourself in the team, give yourself years of experience in the field, use pic from previous step
>upload your website to the internet and use it as a reference

A few extra tips:

>bonus points if you can create an association (or whatever is the equivalent in your country) related to your field and put yourself as the president. e.g.: European Association for Advanced Computer Vision. Anyone can do this shit.
>go to google scholar and find a couple of scientific articles related to your field, rework them a bit and upload them to arxiv. Claim you have scientific publications.
>go to conferences/events where big guys go, take pics with them

Welcome to your $300k job

>>25433917
My company outsources our background checks to a company that calls your past companies to verify employment. They keep you on record too, so if you lie and another company uses them, they can report back that you've lied previously.

It's a good way to weed out the leeches like you.

>>25434747
>maybe even 2 years
haha...no. -_-

>>25433973
Do this through cash into Eth and retire December 2021

>>25433986
This.
If anyone hires you without doing a tough round of technical questions, it's their fault.

>>25435143
>>bonus points if you can create an association (or whatever is the equivalent in your country) related to your field and put yourself as the president. e.g.: European Association for Advanced Computer Vision. Anyone can do this shit.
Not too impressed by the other things which are just blatantly bullshitting, but I like this one.
You can also write a book btw.

>>25435282
Thanks, will do. I'm going to ask for 1099.

>>25434537
That definitely sounds like something that's extremely easy to bullshit through.

>>25435410
Thanks, this post was the final push. I'm gonna do it, use my fake references.

>>25435308
The scientific publications bullshit works extremely well with people outside of academia, you can really impress them.

>>25435559
>>25435143
>arxiv
It doesn't work like that.
You cannot publishnon arxiv without being endorsed by someone that has already published there in the same field you want to publish on.

>>25434612
friends, family is your best shot. you can also pay for a professional service.

the easiest jobs to get are shit like project management.

>>25435559
bullshit
first of all if you're actually in academia pulling publication fraud will fuck you over for life
second of all if you're aiming at people from outside academia they have no clue what an "arxiv" even is so you might as well send them any random pdf you made in latex without also committing academic fraud

>>25434020
just write "black lives matter" infinite loop and you should be fine, you can also get admitted into harvard with this shit

>>25435966
I pay for a professional service run by Indians. Many Indians are making $100k+ this way :P

>>25433917
I’ll lie for you anon want my number?

>>25436515
yep

>>25436515
Wouldn't the job catch on if all your references are Indian?

Use "the references".

>>25436638
>Wouldn't the job catch on if all your references are Indian?

IT / Computer....so no.
Same as if you used all asian on west coast