/biz/ - Business & Finance

The story of Chainlink is and will be one of 4chans most defining moments and stories, showcasing the value of this place, and why places like reddit are shit

He’ll never experience the demoralization of being told 1k eoy over and over again whole Sergey rolls out yet another price feed integration with a literal who

>>24058003

This is the boring FUD which all post mainnet linkies will know. They will never experience the funny as fuck FUD and collective hope and simultaneous despair of the journey back then before it was validated.

The FUD now is lame. LINK is inevitable so it just doesnt work. We know LINK was extremely important back then, we just didn't know if it would be adopted. thats what made the FUD so funny.

The real question is, will my linkies become stinky?

He’ll never experience Sergey’s schlong sliding between his buttcheeks, the tip knocking upon his puckered anus, before finally...penetration

>>24058048
No

>>24057948
There was nothing quite like it :’)

It was great, but let's be honest, we are glad that LINK is above $10. Having $250k instead of $8k is a lot fucking better although in highschool $8k seemed big as well and the google pump made my portfolio go to $40k during a HS class party.

>>24057948
>He was there from the start
>He experienced it all but sold most of his stack too early
>He almost had 10 million dollars if he just held
Name a worse feeling

>>24057948
You can experience it right now. There is a project that exists called Singularitynet and it will become what Link was to this board. They have been shilled here a couple times and /biz has not understood yet. It takes much research in Asia to uncover the results. Good luck /biz

>>24057948
But not a single one of those breadcrumbs turned out to be real

>>24058146
How do you stop from cashing out early? If I had over 100k right now I’m leaving Babylon forever even though that isn’t enough and I know that isn’t enough.

>>24058172
When did you sell

>>24058172
Oof

>>24058146
Let me guess, you found little ways of “accidentally” leaving your blockfolio open in the hopes of some roastie seeing how rich you were.

I know I would’ve been insufferable if I had my crypto stack in high school

>>24058232
Bought the presale, sold over time. Sold way too much during the early pumps (6x-10x felt pretty good at the time). Then sold too much during the Google announcement/Coinbase pumps.

>>24058340
So what was your overall profit? Still doesn’t seem so bad. Surprised you didn’t buy back in.

>>24058381
Close to 1 million, so I can't be too sad. I'm still going to keep a small stack and stake someday, but I've been priced out of my old stack for a long time so there's no way I'll ever buy back everything unless I get lucky with something else.

>>24058436
Jesus how many did you have? 300k-500k?

>>24058474
Good guess, around 500k

>>24058248
Why does everybody on biz like to say insufferable?

>>24058436
Idk, you should still have a healthy stack
I think you’ll be fine

>>24057948
>experienced all of this
>still depressed

dwbi man

PNK id . I’m living it now, sir

>>24057948
>He'll never experience the massive amount of FUDers on /biz/ preventing him from holding LINK from 20 cents
Never listening to a single negative comment about LINK on this board again

>>24058506
Millennial buzzword

>>24058516
You're right. No use worrying about "could've, should've" now. We all could've bought BTC early and things like that, life is full of missed opportunities. Can't let that distract you from the ones in front of you.

you guys should move on, this thing has peaked

>>24058576

The FUD even back then was only filtering out the biggest retards who didn't understand LINK.
Only retards fucking sold. LOL.
Held my 20k stack since back then. not sold a single LINK.

>>24058555
Trips for PNK
Oooooooo

>>24058221
The absolute undoubted overwhelming belief that it will be 10x that in less than 12 months (conservative prices prediction)

>>24058047
two russian scammers rory and sergey was my favorite at the time, that and pregnant sergey with the gay muslim FUD. both were classics

>>24058610
Based, you already pretty much made it. No doubt generational wealth is in your future fren

>>24058248
>I know I would’ve been insufferable if I had my crypto stack in high school
No doubt about that. I would have bragged to every guy I talked to and “”””accidentally””””” showed every women whose pants I wanted in.

I currently have 40 Link in my wallet.

How do I make that bigger without spending trading it for USD?

>>24059468
Spending trading? Dunno what that means but you could park it in a yield farm.

i wish i'd fucking bought in but i was too focused on bull like tsla. i know it's too late now

>>24058146
When the google pump happened I screamed “SHIT!” at full volume from my cuck cube, I had to turn around and say sorry to my boss afterwards kek

>He will experience peak euphoria again
>All he needs to do is get a make it stack in ALGO

RSR threads now (both shill and fud) feels pretty similar to LINK back then desu.

>>24059866
well then stay in them pajeet

>>24057948
Will never experience the sadness of selling too early and trying to get more link but gambling it al away...

Started with 60k link
Only got 7500 left and some shitcoins
Fml

>>24059660
It’s not too late.

>>24060067

swingies get the rope was the spammed for years.
You were warned retard

>>24059836

>>24060067
7500 isn’t something to scoff at

>>24058555
Quite needful

>>24060067
Yeah sucks but if your shitcoins pop you’ll have 10k some day. That’s still decent enough tbf. Round 130k rn.

But yeah 60k with iron hands would have been god tier. Oh well. Such is life fren. Still gonna make it

>>24058248
Actually I'm still to this day actively hiding my portfolio. Nobody knows I have $250k+ in LINK. A close friend got interested in crypto so I shilled him LINK and overall gave some info about jow it's been and so on, but I can't show him biz or talk about how I'm a second lieutenant. I don't have a job so it's a bit hard sometimes, but I just say I have "enough" in crypto. Showing your portfolio to a HS girl is the worst thing I could have done. That info will spread like fire. The problem isn't that they'll know you have money, but the fact that when LINK dumps, they will know that you are losing a fuck ton of money. It's better to keep your gainz to yourself so you could also keep your losses to yourself.

>>24058221
Because it's not enough and the potential of LINK is still so big even in the short term. I'm 20yo. I'm setting my plan for when I'm 25+. I cash out small amounts like 0.1% whenever I need something like new shoes or pc mouse. I go to uni and gym which basically takes up all my time. My expenses are low since I live with my parents. Once LINK is at $30+ I'll cashout 10% to live on my own for 2 years min. Also once you start spending the money, it's hard to stop which is why I still drive a shitbox even though I could easily buy some $10k bmw.

>>24057948
it's going on with RLC right now you millennial boomer faggot kek

>>24057948
>g00Kz ID
It was a good time, anon. Nothing like it will ever happen again. Crypto is moving into a level of legitimacy and mainstream interest such that Chainlink tier projects won't be able to stay secret any more.

>>24057948
i did tho...plus the story isnt over its just begun

>He'll never experience shitposting on biz in 2019/2020, discovering XRP at 20-40 cents
>He'll never experience the collective lols of being so sure about it, finding breadcrumbs yet not knowing if it would come to be. having funny fud, and /xsg/ threads constantly, and then after years being validated
>He'll never experience the organic natural decentralized blocking of reddit from XRP and pricing them out forever

>>24057948
I'm glad I got to experience this, I still have no clue what this is all about.

>>24058340
you still got insanely "lucky" bro
the VAST majority of people who made a lot of money from crypto (like you) could have made 5x+ more if they had timed the top perfectly
be happy and grateful
I could've had $2MM in BTC if I had held my original stack but I took profits on the way up which was the responsible thing to do
of course it looks like a mistake in hindsight, but there's no saying where the top is
the people who hold all of their stack on the way up are the same people who hold all of it all the way down to nothing (and sometimes end up losing it all)

STINKY. LINKIES. STINKY. LINKIES. It's been a hell of a journey boys. I'm glad some of us crossed to the other side. Have some water.

>>24058146
>$8k was a big deal in high school
$8k was a big deal for me in college during 2017. But then I hit 100k for the first time, then $200k, etc. Now 8k is monopoly money. Funny how things change. Congrats man

>>24057948
truly one of the most exhilarating experiences in my entire life, profit aside
simply the experience of becoming obsessed with this tech idea, going so deep into the rabbit hole, become a True Detective tm and tying up together hundreds of seemingly unrelated pieces of a gigantic puzzle, while being one with a collective of equally obsessed autisms
it all made so much sense if you took the time to research, while no one else outside of here was discussing it, it felt like stumbling on some major underground secret and being able to see the future
then came the validation, exhilarating as well, I think it truly changed me inside too, somehow realized it was all a big clown world and stopped caring about things, became a lot more confident in myself

>>24058209
Revisionist bullshit.
I’ll name the most important crumb:
Smartcontract named in Klaus Schwab’s book from fucking 2016.
This year Link and Sergey were given an award by WEF which gives Sergey an invite to fucking Davos.
One of the first crumbs, it’s happening before your eyes and you’re still a seething nolinker. Nolinkers are mentally ill.

>gossiping and fawning over some pointless crowd shows

This is the crypto equivalent of watching wrestling. Sirgay is a jawlet soiman with no working product who has already made and reinvested his millions. It's a slow bleed out from here.

>V 0.6 coming next year
>absolutely 0 (zero) talk of ChainLink outside of an anime forum board
>dumb teenagers buying LINK because of funny pictures posted on an anime website
>buying link because an anonymous poster said he did too

Sick project LMAO

>>24064070
True, can't complain

Those of you who have been blindly following the chainlink shills are absolute fucking retards. If you had an IQ above 90 and spent 30 minutes researching, you'd actually understand why you are making the worst investment of your lives.

The problem with this board is literally most of the Chainlink shills could not explain to you why Chainlink is actually an amazing shitcoin. The few anons that do get it's a scam and post legitimately useful information get ignored because most of this board is dense and dumb as fuck and when they can't understand something is a scam they act like it wasn't even posted.

Chainlink is next gen ponzi. It will make all current holders with 10k+ bankrupt. You may have to wait 2-3 years, which most of you will be too dumb to do. You'll see a decrease a year from now and because you've been checking the price every fucking day for over 1500 days you'll think "fuck it, I'm selling, this isn't going anywhere!". When the token actually goes to zero you'll be holding the keys to your piece of shit Pontiac and those of us who weren't total brainlets and didnt buy will be having you park our Bentley's because you work as a fucking valet now.

This is not pasta. Do not repost this. This is simply the truth. Fucking screencap and check back in 2021. You know I'm right, I always am

I have a PhD in crypto economics and mathematics. Crypto incentives in Chainlink are a legitimate concern. I saw Ari Juels speak at a conference recently where he mentioned tokens and asked him about the token economics of a node staking system like the Chainlink network is planning to use. The problem is that node operator incentives are fuzzy at best and not even figured out fully by the team (see the gitter for Steve stuttering about this). When I brought it up to Ari Juels, I told him that in the way the network is expected to be used, the fees payable to node operators would actually decline as requests become more ubiquitous because as the network grows it becomes cheaper to use. This makes sense if you took a few advanced cryptoeconomics courses. Ari admitted that it was a great question but that they were "actively pursuing research in that area." I sold my LINK immediately after that and saw a significant dump on the binance charts. It's pretty clear these guys are pulling you along making you think they're doing something revolutionary when the incentives aren't even fully determined yet.

>>24064070
I can smell your cunt.

That's fucking funny because I also had a similar experience with this asshole. I saw Sergey at a Second hand store Moscow yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, Cyka blyet, mudila?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like eleven Flannel shirts and two additional flannel shirts in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter although he managed to unnoticeably stuff few flannel shirts in his pants.

When she took one of the flannel shirts and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and angrily told her that he was horny and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think Chainlinks oracles are working anyway. After she scanned each flannel shirt and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly and asking if it's possible to pay in the "new disruptive technology called Link".

Thanks to all anons who were there. The strangest thing is the absolute unshakeable confidence we had. It feels completely natural to us, but for outsiders it has to seem totally delusional, and for a good reason. There was something magical about that timeline. I believe some kind of a time defying portal was opened to us.

My dad works at Swift, and he had Sergey over for dinner once. Sergey showed up with his own bag of Big Macs, and loudly yawned every time my parents offered him some of the food my mom spent an hour cooking. Then he asked to be excused to the restroom. About 45 minutes later we knocked to see if anything was wrong, no answer, so we opened the door and found that the toilet was clogged and Sergey had escaped through the window. The window was broken though because he had to wiggle and squeeze his fat body through it

>>24064441
I miss the fud
seeing the fud on reddit during the early google and coinbase pumps was some of the funniest 4chan shit ever

It is actually a part of his performance. I shit you not, but he eats that burger in two bites. He always does that to energize the audience before his presentation. They go absolutely insane when he does it. You can hear gasping and loud mumbling, as they sit in disbelief as to what they just saw. Sergey then says "You would never in your wildest dream belive that what you just saw is possible. You will think the same about the presentation, but it's true, all of it". He immediately follows up with a very long, almost neverending gurgling fart. This is ensued by dead silence as the crowd again is in disbelief and shock, and not sure how to react. That's when Rory starts slow clapping from the back of the room while leaning nonchalantly against the wall. The audience follow his lead and it ends in a standing ovation. People are are cheering, clapping and even praising Sergey with their arms and head stretched towards him with blissfull faces. The energy in the room moons, and some of the ladies are crying and even fainting.

This man is, as Scott Adams would put it, a master persuader.

>born too late to get in on LINK
>born just in time to buy SFI at <$1000

this post is only applicable for today

>>24064540
Well, you are wrong. Let me debunk that blog post for you, as I am a dev and use Google Cloud daily.

First of, it's not Google. It's Google Cloud. It's not even Google Cloud, it's whatever tiny department of Google Cloud writes those obscure blog posts. I use Google Cloud daily yet I've never seen they had a blog.

The blog post didn't even have any technical detail or code in it. It's very likely that the person who wrote this article is not a developer at all as it contains no code. It's basically a marketing article to promote Google Cloud services.

It's very likely that that the people who approved this article have not read the white paper, or the Chainlink documentation. It's very likely that only 2 or 3 people, who are all non developers, wrote and approved of this article.

It's also very likely that someone at Chainlink worked with someone in the Google marketing department to coordinate this article together, because that's how PR and marketing work usually.

So if to you "Google" means 2-3 guys who are not developers, but work in the Google Cloud marketing department, then sure "Google" endorsed them.

But then again this is the genius of the Chainlink marketing. They got a mention on some obscure blog in some tiny Google Cloud department and now everybody thinks they are partnered with Google, when it is very clear they are not.

>>24057980
Movies will be mades

Yes. In fact Sergey has dropped out of the Chainlink team. Last known sighting of him was outside of a Planned Parenthood in New York City asking women waiting for abortions about the implications of their actions, as well as if they had entered into a smart contract agreement with their unborn fetus consenting to the abortion. He was escorted out by staff, but not before pulling two Big Macs out of his pockets and flinging them wildly, the contents of the sandwiches covering the clinic's walls and its patrons. Authorities were called immediately after the incident but Sergey had fled the scene.

And pic related. This is were Chainlink's conference was held at SIBOS

I accumulated 15k linkies in 2017-2018 (avg price about $0.6 or so). Sold 14k this year at an avg price of about $7. Feels good to know I made great money, but my 1k suicide stack feels pretty pitiful right now.

I bought 0.04 LP last year, so hopefully staking comes around soon and I can sit back and watch my suicide stack grow.

>>24064664

SIRES DO THE NEEFDUL>>24057948

>>24064688
Idk how you guys can just sell 90%+ of your LINKs and say you feel "good" about the profit. Be honest anon. You regret that every day don't you?

>>24064708
thanks. i really need to get around to naming all these, the folder is a goddamn mess. usually my autism helps me remember where the right images are but i couldn't be arsed for this one

>4 AM in San Francisco
>Another night of drugs and sex
>Sergey blows inside a prostitute
>Post-coital tristesse
>'Holy shit I need some money to pay these whores'
>Picks up his greasy Iphone
>Walks to the bathroom, naked
>Sits on the toilet
>Signs in his dev wallet
>Balance: still 30 million link left
>'Phew!'
>Transfers 70k to to binance and pops some Viagra
>Goes back, fuck's another prostitute
>Post-coital tristesse again
>'holy shit I transferred 70k instead of 700k!'

im still in disbelief that link is top 5 shitcoin. i still remember competing with dentacoin.

Daddy sergey likes to pretend your asshole is a bigmac that he wants to eat. He even likes to start pouring bigmac sauce all over your asshole before he thrusts it in. You just have to sit there and take it while he yells out "FILET-O-FISH" which then triggers rory coming out of the room to bring him a Filet O Fish from McDonalds. You get used to him yelling out "QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE" and "BIG MACS EXTRA SAUCE" all the time. It's kind of just sergeys thing you know? Its the world we live in and he likes it a certain way. Rory likes to sit in the corner and watch while Sergey yells demeaning things at him, since that turns Rory on. I coulda swore before this all happened, that I had 30k link. But after i saw Ari in between pound seshes, my link went away. Ari is being an extra sneaky jew nowadays, and heard him and sergey talking about dropping some more loads on us and about their "acquisition." Sergey could tell i was listening, so he proceeded to eat a big mac while talking to Ari, while also pounding my asshole like there was no tomorrow. I can't wait for tomorrow.

we're only 3 months off the 3 year anniversary of the Cambodian tranny jerking to a link cube scribbled on paper
its been a long road

OOOOH LIIINKIIIEEES! Where are you stinkies? Stinkers have been getting AWFULLY quiet as of late! Please remind us about that Google partnership and how these large conglomerates have bent the knee? Tell us more about how your stinky asset is like the oil of all the blockchains! You picked the color of your new Lambo yet, stinky? O-oh what was that? The dev teams are dumping on you now that Coinbase has gone stinky? Sirgay is getting cold hard cash in return for your stinkers? Oh no no no no no no no no…..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Listen I genuinely care about about Anons financial well being. Its hard as shit to get ahead in life now, not just working 9-5 for the rest of your life. The sooner you start saving the sooner you can get ahead in life. Chainlink is a meme started by 4chan (an infamous trolling board) to lead people to financial ruin. This is NOT A JOKE. Don't let your saved wealth be thrown away over night. Vitalik Buterin the creator of ethereum said himself the days of making x100 or x1000 are over, that right the guy who created the second most popular crypto said himself those days are over. Now 4chan is trying to get people to lose even more money after this mini pump. Smart money already exited the crypto world. Crypto is basically a highly specialized database, companies don't need this. They will just create their own private blockchains. There is no need for crypto chainlink isn't even needed to run the nodes. Think XRP when you think chainlink. The company ripple (smartcontracts) is doing well but the coin XRP(chainlink) isn't even needed for the companies technology. Considering what Vitalik said "The days of making x100 or x1000 returns are over." Chainlink needs a 399900% increase in price over the next couple of months to reach $1000 this is ludicrous. Don't fall for it, chainlink its a meme to fuck you over, it's a 4chan meme to siphon money out of the hands of the already vulnerable. DONT BE ANOTHER VICTIM

>>24064848
Getting a post-tax windfall of $70k that I "earned" by reading some autistic shitposts on a Mongolian basketweaving forum feels pretty satisfying.
Obviously I wish I had kept a larger stack, but there were a million coins I could have bought in 2017 and lost all my money so I dont feel too bad about taking profits. I'm not retiring off of this, but it did set my finances ahead by a few years

>>24063156
It was around back then too kek

fudding on reddit with you guys was unreal. one of the funniest moments of my life.

>>24065056
nice, i didn't have this one. thanks anon. i plan on copying/handing down these two text files to my grandchildren along with their first 10 linkies to get them started. generational motherfucking wealth niggers!

Gonna make it

>>24065111
Checked and damn you actually paid taxes? Hope it wasn't much at least.

>>24065231
this, I even made an account

>>24057948
>He'll never experience the collective lols of being so sure about it,
I know about people being "sure"
I bought LINK because of the attention on this board and thats the only reason.
I would have dropped my whole wad on it but spread a little bit to ADA EOS and a few others
still sitting pretty cuz i never fucking sold

>>24063873
K Y S
Y
S

>>24058172
Retard. I STILL invest the majority of my paycheck into LINK every month, without fail. Going to keep buying until $100, and maybe sell a tiny fraction of my stack when it gets over 1k

Why would you sell before

>oracle
>staking
>swift
>insurance, derivatives pocs

Start buying again anon and increase your stack. There were probably people in your position when ethereum was $5 who had sold out earlier, who couldn't face buying back in at higher prices... They are most likely dead now from suicide

>>24064360
I'm a Muslim man but I have to admit that pregnant Sergey really turns me on. I keep fantasizing about putting my seed inside him and watching new life grow... We get married, he gives birth, and we raise that baby under the blessings of Allah. I want to hold hands with Sergey, and looking into his eyes say 'I love you.' I think of myself taking our son to his first day at school, watching that strong and masculine boy develop amazing computer skills like his dad.

Sergey would be the ideal partner for any man wishing to start a family. His great genes give him a combination of assertiveness, strength, and intelligence. If Sergey is able to get pregnant, he has to have a uterus; if he has a uterus, he can only be a woman in the eyes of Allah. ALLAHU AKHBAR!!!

Ok, I can't hide this anymore. It's coming from deep inside of me... this desire to shout...

I'M A GAY MUSLIM AND I HOLD CHAINLINK! Yes, and I am not the only one. I was attracted to this community because of the feeling of brotherhood that it creates. Together we are one. We are above gender divisions and categories. Chainlink, as you know, is a gay sex position where men stick their dicks into each other's asses to form a link.

Today, I declare Chainlink to be the currency of the LGBT community.

I'M GAY AND I HOLD CHAINLINK. YES! I'M GAY AND I LOVE SERGEY! WOW! I'M GAY AND YOU ARE TOO! TOGETHER, WE ARE GAY LINKIES AND NOTHING CAN STOP US!

I'M GAY! AND I LOVE TO SAY IT! I'M GAY, I'M GAY, I'M GAY AND I WORSHIP SERGEY! CHAINLINK! CHAINLINK! CHAINLINK!

NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!
NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!
NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!

>>24058146
I danced from my living room out into the street to Scooter at the google pump

After Adelyn failed the spelling bee she was disowned by her family for committing a grave Chinese sin. Her father told her that he no longer had a daughter and the entire family turned their back on her. Distraught with nowhere to turn she headed back to campus her place of shame. It began raining then, silver streaks that hid her tears as she struggled to stay warm.
Sergey found her there at the library clutching a wet dictionary just trying to keep warm while memorizing the words. Sergey spoke to her in soft words that warmed her heart. Although Adelyn didn't know Sergey very well. He didn't look like a scammer; he just looked like a thin nerd that meant no harm.
Sergey saved her that day and brought her to a place where spelling doesn't matter. A place where people do as they please without worrying about knowing anything about the problems of the world.
And that place, frens, is ChainlInk, a new land of opportunity where problems that really don't exist are being solved. Adelyn says Sergey is a modern day Wittgenstein and orcales are his problem. Adelyn is not sure what an oracle is or why it's needed or even if it's needed but she still keeps that same dictionary on her bookshelf to remind her of that faithful first encounter with Sergey. The dictionary is faded and torn and really isn't much help but it still brings her warmth and that's what's most important.

Last night Ari Juels appeared to me in a dream. I told him how cool it was that he could appear before me like this but he just said "oh like you're forgot 216" I was taken aback and could only try and say "it means fourness right?" But he kept cutting me off by saying "fourness right? Fourness right?" and closing his hand shut in my face. My autism got the better of me and spaghetti started shooting from my hands, ears, and mouth as I tried to explain the connection between fictional stories and real life. He just chuckled to himself and walked away. I woke up drenched in sweat and pee pee poo poo.

>>24064294
well said and i agree 100%. i was working so much during that time and felt trapped in the rat race. i quickly realized i needed to find a way out and get some control of my life. in 2018 i was completely obsessed about link and all the research being shared. you're right about feeling so sure about it. i knew i had found my way out.

i still haven't cashed out a penny and ive made it by some of your standards but i still feel like we have so long to go. i'm now starting to think what i am going to do with all my free time and how i make my life meaningful

VROOM! VROOM!

Sergey's Dad zips through traffic and does a screeching handbrake 180 into the parking lot all the while revving the engine. He then spins the car around once more as he hits the clutch and proceeds to hop out of the vehicle, vertical doors and all and tosses the cigarette to the ground, "Son! It's so good to see you, I just want to thank you and your "investors" for the car."

Sergey beams as smile back and scratches his beard, "you know what they say Dad", he chuckles, "you only raise money from the three Fs; fools, family and friends."

His Dad bursts into laughter and slaps his back as they begin walking along to the temporary Chainlink offices in downtown San Francisco. "But son, what will they say when you're spending so much money?"

"Well, I'm not spending the money" his son sheepishly grins. "The company is, based in the Caymen's, it's outside of US jurisdiction. We just vaccum up the money and drop it there, then we'll just keep piping it to you under your names so if they investigate me, they won't find anything. In fact, I haven't bought myself anything new, I still wear the same shirt day after day." He lifts up his jacket and the familiar plaid shirt is there.

"I see" his Father nods. "But you'll have to show, these i-investors, hahaha" he barely contains himself then wipes away a tear as he keeps laughing. "These investors, they'll want to see something."

"Easy. We hire temporary shills, well basically market promoters all across Asia and North America to keep marketing our token, it's an ever expanding market." And then, he pauses, "as for progress, we set-up some real easy APIs quoting prices and keep drawing out the timeline, so it looks like work is being done but it's not. We show up to some conferences and we never open up any offical offices, moving from here to there so that if anyone does come and knock, they'll see a bunch of wires everywhere and some weird programmers in the corner."

>>24066333
His Dad wears an expression of approval and almost admiration. "You know in Russia, everything was about scheming and scamming. I almost got sent to the gulag for scamming the entire village outside of Leningrad. Ahh those were the days..."

"I know Dad, but things are different now. America is easy. They're fat pigs begging to be ripped off..."

His Dad responds worringly, "but then the market will respond. If you're not actually doing work what will you do when rumors or "FUD" as you call it spreads?"

"This... is the best part Dad. I found a kleptomatic internet culture, essentially an entire internet board of people to parade around our token and market it for us. When people doubt us, they just say, "didn't read, never selling." They... actually belive it! They just keep spouting off "never selling!" They actually believe it Dad! Best of all, I convinced these idiots that this token was never meant for them and it was built for business to business scaling. That they were never supposed to discover it in the first place."

"Mhm... the same guys you talked to, to give them low prices on the ICO and hold the token so that they could spread it and reap in profits."

"Well, yeah Dad, that's how good scams work, you cut the profit a little bit each way so that everyone benefits. I even messaged the moderators and admins, they're called "jannies" and got them to look sideways for all the paid shilling and corruption, to spread the token further. Things are looking great Dad, I tell ya"

"Hmh, of course, now let's get some lobster and steak."

"You betcha, I already had three today. But first, let me show you where we operate. We're in San Francisco to convince these dumb neets that we're in tech capital and attend different shows. These- thes-these hahaha, these morons... sorry, they promote our tokens through so called "organic groups" hosting their own events. I swear, this is a carnie level of theatricalism."

Can anyone recommend a useful staking system?

Came across DMX token pn Probit, trycheck this platform: dymmax.com
What is your opinion/point of view about it? There is a staking model and additional liquidity for tokens with the new smart-contract system.

>>24066361
They arrive in the offices, Sergey flings his coat and throws it in the corner. "Pick it up wagie!"

"Yes Master" a kowtow employee humblly slinks off to pick it up.

"You should've seen the guy who tweeted that dumbass MOAB token tweet, I nearly beat his ass." Just then, Sergey's phone rings, "yes, yes... yes... no..."

"What was that about?"

"The guys from gravel coin called me asking for free link, I told them to buy it off binance."

"Binance"

"It's a chink exchange that I network with. They help handle the money laundering. We sell tokens over the counter from wallets we recycled from the ICO."

"This is much- much too complicated for me son."

"It's simple. Before we ICO'ed I made some threads and recruited some guys. I then fudded other tokens and paid Indians to promote it over the internet. We had the ICO then recycled funds back into it to make it pump. Theoretically we sold 35% but it was probably closer to half, maybe even a quarter, I don't remember the numbers."

"Ah, the classic distraction. Like a magician you lure your targets away from the trick."

"Exactly. By making it seem highly in-demand and creating false group-think, we made it seem many more people buying than they actually were. Then we needed money, we contacted the exchange, shuffled the tokens through there and got the funds. In exchange they got discounted prices and we made money."

"I see... and Google?"

"Same process. Bribe the devs with tokens, assure them a pump will happen then we contacted Coinbase and told them if we got a major company to mention us they would list us. Hey! Hey, give me the big mac, now god damn it!"

An employee scurries to hand Sergey a big mac, unwrapped and ready.

>>24066382
"But Sergey, we are going to go to the restau-"

"Nonsense. I eat at all times and do what I want, hey, blow."

An employee scurries over the Sergey and his Father with a mirror loaded with glistening white lines and two shot glasses.

"Ah, classic Russian snack. Don't mind if I do" he says as he picks up a small cut straw. A loud and an almost snorting sound comes from Sergey's Father as he tilts his head back and comically begins to swallow. "Good shit. Nostrovia!"

"Nostrovia." They gulp down the shots and smash them on the ground. "Pick it up wagie! Anyway, let me give you a tour." They proceed to walk around the cramped offices.

"So when are you going to pull the plug?"

"Well the money machine just keeps going. To be honest, I don't even know what the fuck oracles are."

"Here's what I don't understand. If it's a good making machine, there's sure to be Jews and Russians and sometimes both in the mix."

"Oh they are. Chinks too. There's this twinked out meth-head named Vitalik. He blew me off because he saw through me and he refused bribes because he has his own scam going."

"The guy you're developing for?"

"Well... it's complicated. I promised investors, hahaha, I love saying that word. Investors... anyways, I promsied them something something, derivatives, basically data would go through us for a stock exchange."

"Why?"

"Because, they're stupid. Just connect big words together. Blockchain agnostic. Smart contract oracles. Decentralized node protocols. And bam you have money!"

"Huh, let me try... mhmm... Real time node operators..."

"Hahaha, you got it Pops! It's easy."

>>24066382
They turn a sharp corner and Sergey angrily slaps the back of the head of one of his employees. "God damn it Rory."

"What, what did I do" he stammers out.

"Nothing. Fuck you, that's what." Both Sergey and his Father burst into laughter as they turn another corner, "This is my office, just a black telephone and a oneahole to blow off steam and... of course" He opens up a closet and there in pristine condition are thirty different shirts, all of the same type.

"The classic Steve Jobs. Son, I am impressed. You've learned big business so well, I only wish your Grandfather was here to see you. He would be so proud how you've milked these internet losers for money."

"NEETs, Dad, they're called NEETs. And I couldn't have done it without your backing."

"Ah, I see your philosophy degree is hung up here."

"Yeah, they made fun of me for it, but I can't help but think it helps me out-think the Fudders. Every time they almost catch us and every time we cover it up."

"And your exit plan."

"Russia of course. They won't extradite."

"Well, you've raised so much damn money... is there a chance to actuallly of pulling it off?"

"Not a chance. There is zero need for a token, you know I thought about it for a while but most of these protocols could be funded just as progress goes along. I picked something intentionally easy to obsfucate but also very easy to develop, but just added a layer of decentralization to make it extra hard."

"Why? Why not just deliver oracles?"

"Because they're fucking useless Dad. Like tarot cards or any other indicator, you just need an API to connect. All we're doing is technically setting up a layer for people to create their own APIs to act as a node to deliver data."

"Ahh, yes data... yes certainly Data is a great scam, but it's old no?"

"Of course, "big data, data is the new oil, yada, yada", but just throw a token on there and the word decentralization and bam! You have big money."

> be Ari Juels
> Tell weird philosophy student about an oracle problem and introduce him to your number cult
> "Remember the 42 and 216 goy"
> Tell him that muh tech can solve this problem
> "You can even put your name on this white paper I wrote, Sergey, I get enough credit"
> "You're a smart man Ari"
> Ask Sergey to put together a team of saps
> he meets Adelyn crying over some spelling contest at a local community college and Steve at the bus stop
> Thomas was a neet whose mom forced him to apply for part time work at the nail salon in front of Chainlink HQ
> Everyone else was (((recruited online organically through JIDF channels)))
> Jonny used to post exclusively on anonymous horse and stable coin forums
> "Here, Sergey, Chainlink will solve all the problems of the oracle"
> "Gee thanks Ari you're the best"
> 32 million solved Ari's oracle problem... at least for awhile
> Ari exploits backdoor in Chainlink code
> Tell Sergey
> Sergey is devastated
> Sergey spams "it's over" threads on /biz/
> "It's okay I have an idea"
> Sell Town Crier solution to Sergey "hey I was just working on this and thought you might like it :^)"
> A few more million solved Ari's oracle problem.... At least for awhile
> Ari exploits TC code through backdoor and informs Sergey
> Sergey is suicidal
> He begins spamming tranny porn on /biz/ in revenge
> "It's okay Sergey I've got a new solution to your oracle problem but we have to include my student in this scam I mean company"
> A few more million solves Ari's and Zhang's oracle problem"
Hook, Line, and Stinker

>Sergey waddles onto the stage to introduce the next speaker
>"Uh yeah, so, fundamentally... We invited Spencer to talk about how blockchain technology and smart contracts can help level the playing field for the poorest communities in America in an era of unjust socio-economic inequality"
>50 Cent - "in the club" plays
>Sergey gets down on one knee
>Spencer Dindu swaggers onto the stage in a haze of weed smoke, pants sagging
>"YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH DAS RITE! WHATS GOOD SMART CON"
>The livechat is flooded with 'N' letters, Rory can't delete and block fast enough
>"AYO HOL UP WE DEM BLOCK CHAINS NOW"
>"SHIIIIIIEEEEEET WE GOT DEM CHAIN LINKS TOO, NAMSAYIN?"
>"BLACK LIVES MATTER WATERMELON ASS BITCH NIGGA"
>LINK dumps to zero on all pairs in an instant
>mass neet suicides EOY

I was at eth denver the other day and I went to the bathroom to take a dump. Midway through this guy starts talking to me about smart contracts from the next stall. At first I didn't respond because I thought he was on the phone but then he knocked on my stall and repeated the question. I said "umm not really" but he just kept talking about psd2 and sibos and iso20022. I said okay thanks for the information (trying to be polite). Then he asked if I wanted a t-shirt and pushed it under the stall. I said umm no thanks but he kept insisting. When I tried to flush and got up to leave he was pounding at the door yelling something about big macs and 1k eoy. I couldn't leave and had to call the police before I could leave the stall. After the police dragged this official member of the Chainlink team away I opened the stall door and saw feces spread all over the door. There were massive hand and foot prints of shit everywhere. About a dozen shitty chainlink shirts were on the ground and I had to step over them to leave. Wtf guys is this normal for chainlink?

WE HAVE WAITED TOO LONG MY LINK BROTHERS

THE TIME IS NEAR

1000 END OF YEAR

>>24057948
i hope all of you get raped and die. i also hope the yacht party gets blown up.

>>24066566
checked
*tink tink tink*

Attention KIKES and CHINKS

I will NEVER, ever sell my Linkies. LINK at $5.00? Didnt sell.
LINK at $0.01? Didnt sell.
LINK at 10? 50?... 100? 200? 500?

Not selling.

IF you filthy kikes ever want to see these linkies again, you are going to have to pump the price to AT LEAST $2000 per LINK... At which point, AGAIN, you filthy kikes, I AM NOT SELLING

Sincerely,
The richest man in Costco. Praise Sergey
and FUCK JANNIES, KIKES, NIGGERS, CHINKS AND SPICS

This is my favorite breadcrumb.

Pastabro here haven't spammed in a while. Never saw as many eth pastas. I love link pasta pls keep writing them

>>24057948
You moon boys crack me up

>>24063873
XRP is for retarded faggots

>>24064472
>I have a PhD in crypto economics

That's not a thing. 0/10 FUD

>>24058555
Our time will come again

is there any active chainlink discord servers? where do people talk about chainlink, im an oldfag and i got kicked out of delphi and banned from chainlink unofficial for calling mods niggers

Anyone got a comp from those times? I want some laughs

>>24057948
Congrats on jerking eachother off for 100 replies but instead of reflecting on the past why not worry about what unwritten history 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, and so forth hold cause it will be wildly more interesting for the crypto world especially once Covid shit dies down.

>>24058610
Very well said.

>>24068488
seethe newfag we don't care we already made it

>>24060067
I spent my life savings to get a 1.1k stack so count your blessings

>>24068599
I only got on board in August 2020 so I have by far and large not made it, anywhere

>>24058555
>pink ID
>trips
by vishnu you'll make it

>>24058474
Iron hands

>>24057948
We are all so fucking lucky.

t. 140k stinkies

>>24069283
hmm found a CIA lesbian desu

>>24069278
Fuck that screenshot stings
I bought almost that exact amount right about the same time, and I sold it almost immediately.

Why the fuck didn't I listen?
Why did I wait until this year to get in?
Why am I destined to be poor?

>>24057948
But I did experience all those things, right here with my bizbros.

>>24069319
nahbra

>>24057948
I was there the day of the LINK ICO and beforehand, in the midst of the chaos of September 2017 the whole board was hyped for the ICO and the 7 ETH limit. That hype was unlike any shit coin I've seen on this board, this was the one coin I actually listened to biz for.

>>24063140
Holy fuck, from an old fag, you are gonna make it, you sound intelligent and you'd be wise to start a business now so by the time you have real money to invest you have ironed out the details. Congrats anon.

>>24064441
what zero link
does to a mf

>>24063140
You'll definitely make it and you sound a lot wiser than any 20yo I know. Stick to the plan and enjoy the gains. I have 10 years on you and a nice link stack, but you're in a brilliant position.

>>24064441
from 22cts to 20 bucks doesnt seem like a bad investment, at all