/biz/ - Business & Finance

except claiming haircomb tokens of course

I honestly feel bad for the unemployed that have a hard time even getting a job right now, while the rest of us are collecting checks in our underwear

Tbh being a wagie for the government is pretty fucking comfy right now.

In the beginning at least everyone was pretending to be working hard from home. Now my boss doesn’t even give a shit.

>>23961005
Based

>>23961167
sept

>HR niggers want to implement "cameras always on" virtual meeting policy.
Ho do I sabotage it?

>>23961565
Buy the shittiest webcam you can find, then artificially make the cam's connection shit as well. You want to be able to count the pixels for a minimum of 10 seconds.

>>23961005

what kinda work are you doing anon? I'm doing training which is easy as shit for 2 more months on zoom, half the time relaxing and shitposting.

>>23961565
Just for virtual meetings? Seems fair honestly. But this is all new ground so just be like fuck off you have no right and you don't need to see my face.

>>23961565

Tell them to go fuck themselves

>>23961565
Seems fair for small meetings, ignore it for large ones

>>23961565
>Install virtual camera driver
>Play /wsg/ shit on it
>Become the hero of the meeting
>??
>Profit

>>23961565
Pretend to be a tech-illiterate boomer who can't figure out how webcams work.

Bump

>>23961565
tell them to give you something in writing, ignore them and sue if they try anything

>>23961005
neetbux from corona stimulus? or u have a job from home>>23961099

>>23961565
remove dick from pants and start toobin

you're a sad bald fat depressed man

>>23961099
This. Neetlife is best life

>>23961565
I don't want to use a camera because my room is full of things a normie should not see.
Shouldn't they pay the rent for a private remote room if they want to use a camera?

>>23961005
how do you keep getting away with it? Have you always been useless?

I had a colleague who spent 8 months browsing funny pictures. His desk was at the very end of the open space and people just sort of forgot about him.

>>23961005
Based anon

Working from home is so comfy. Shitpost all day and watch crypto charts. Life is good.

>>23961565
Place a cardboard cut of yourself in front of it

>>23963412
>places cardboard in front of camera
>stupid bitch from HR: "Hi anon can you just wave so we now you are here"
>...

>>23961005
Hello kings.
Ah, another day.

What do I do during my office hours for a side kick?

>>23961565
Also, pretend that every time you turn on the camera you're getting dropped out. Just hit the AirplaneMode button.

Whine a lot about your gear, how shitty it is etc. and tell them they need to buy you a new PC.

Or incject some "503 Bad gateway loading screen" as your camera input.

Cheers

>>23961099
I'd wagecuck 1,000 years if it meant never looking a day this ugly

I work from my living room which has a big open fireplace. I have my breakfast then lay out a big fire every morning.
I spend an hour in calls with my camera NOT turned on and three hours shitting out one liner emails and doing reports.
I might watch anime if I feel like it or go take the dogs out for a walk since I live in the countryside. Bosses are happy as my performance is up and expenses are down with no business air travel or entertainment despite me putting in a bill for new office equipment and screens (one which I use for watching anime). I think I qualify for a pay rise.

>>23963721
desu, if he would just shave that hair and grow some beard, it would not be so bad...

>>23963689
>>23963771
>>23962665
>>23962050
>>23961565
Whenever manager wants to see me/us I just pretend to be afk or it doesn't work, but camrea at our firm is very very rare. But guess what I also hate talking so I pretend for microfon to not work too, just write in chat, fuck em all

>>23961099
it's not fair bros i used to be the excentric freelancer working in pijama now all the normies are doing it but instead of using something like upwork tracking time they are scratching their balls all day.

I feel like i been cheated of something special.

>>23963627
Browse biz and check shitcoin charts

>>23963864
>desu, if he would just shave that hair and grow some beard, it would not be so bad...
>grow some beard

>>23963150
Based

>>23961565
smear vaseline on your camera lens. or just wreck it with acetone.

>>23961565
Ive got a virtual meeting all of Friday, new manager is implementing it... All the boomers wanted it.

>>23961005
Cheers! I belive I'll have a double shot of espresso from Starbucks delivered to me by Doordash this fine Monday morning. Of course, no tip if it doesn't arrive piping hot, wagie.

>>23963771
What job? I wish to emulate your ways fren

>>23964555
Absolutely criminal

>>23964248
yeah nice try, shame you see yourself in him...

>>23964555
Do you think it's possible to put a really noisy background noise and make it impossible for them to discuss while you are in the meeting?

>>23965026
Shut the fuck up, back to rebbit, soiboi.

>>23965035
No chance, my manager has also requested I join at 8:30am when I normally start at 10am (flexible working hours) so i'm going to have to get up early for it too.
>>23964861
Worse thing is, its every week from now on.

>>23965101
>When they tried to force me to early morning meetings I usually overslept when it was for a useless meeting and then they stopped caring after some time when they accepted that's how I was.
They know I won't go to their meetings if they put it before 10, so this means they decide if they want me or not at the moment they decide to make the meeting too early.
But I suppose it helps to be extremely hard to replace and having a useful work.

>>23965160
I'm on a graduate scheme so I have to be a little cuck until I qualify

>>23965197
You may need to be patient in that case a bit if you don't have enough options or fuck you money from crypto.
Did you read the 48 laws of power?
It should help you to improve your work life quality in the future.

>>23965266
>48 laws of power
Is it good or just pop/his/ drivel. I seek power.

>>23965292
If you manage to master 1 rule in this book you will make history and won't be forgotten.
That's how powerful these rules are.

>>23963150
kek

>>23961005
is that moot?

What does moot even work on nowadays?

>>23964555
normies LOVE to socialize, they can't help it.

>>23961005
>Wife and me doing home office
>We spend half day in bed fucking like rabbits
>Next day meeting “Did you have a productive day anon?”
YES

>>23963771
Fucking based

>>23965292
But you should know that power corrupts and maintaining it has a high energy and time cost.
If you just chase power without a good reason and a goal you want to reach it will destroy you and you will be empty inside once you obtain it.

>>23965355
He works at google now

>>23965311
>>23965419
I could watch a Kurosawa film for that, desu senpai.

/biz/ bros, how do u get a wfh job? I graduated in may with my bachelor's but i can't find work.

I got my work for the entire month done last week, so now I’ll slow drip out the results. Every day this week I’ll show up to the stand up, give a fake update, then sleep til noon, go to the gym, then appear online until 4 PM. Thanks for paying for my degenerate lifestyle, Mr. Shekelberg

I'm constantly nervous someone messages me on teams or calls me and then asks wtf I have been doing for the past weeks.
I haven't done anything at all

I'm currently "taking" a sexual harassment course (on mute) while browsing a Mongolian basket weaving enthusiast forum on the Internet. I estimate that I'll make $50 from this. Life is good.

>>23963905
I'd been a remote employer for about two years when the meme flu started.
When WFH became company policy, all the normies in my Slack were sharing tips on how to "survive the stress".
I still see them regularly asking management when they'll be able to come back.
They're literally so in love with their wagie cagie that they don't realise the gift they've been given.

>>23965814
Everyone else has the exact same fear.

I just put in notice at my in person job for a wfh job with more money and better benefits and my boss is seething

>>23961005
>just had my end of year review
>was given great feedback based on my ability to do good work despite roadblocks in various programs
>ive done absolutely fucking nothing since march

>>23965619
Bump. I work as an engineer. I called in today because I just can’t take it anymore. I need a cozy remote job

>>23961565
Tell them that you're deeply worried about how your coworkers may perceive your personal lifestyle choices and that it will cause you unneeded stress. Don't go into any more details than that.
It's basically a dogwhistle for HR that no matter what happens, you'll be able to sue them, and they'll back off.

>>23961005
same, but shaking after i read TOMO wp

>>23967286
>Constantly complain about how much work there is
>Do nothing
>Tell my manager I'm getting really stressed out because we lost someone in our department
>Now I work 1 hr a day from home instead of literally 0 I was doing before
>She praises me and tells me I'm getting more done than the rest of my department

I like my manager, but the ability to judge productivity is apparently incredibly rare. Unless I really do accomplish more in 5 hours a week than everyone else, which is just pathetic.

>>23967244
based. fuck the wage cage. i think i'm going to demand to be 100% wfh once we """go back to the office.""" i'll seriously kill myself before stepping another foot in an office again, especially a FUCKING OPEN OFFICE.

>>23967502
Did you have the opportunity to work together with your colleagues on some project before?
Didn't it anger you how slowly they were doing things and decide to do your work alone to not have to wait constantly?
It took me a few years to understand this but you really do the weekly work of one person in a few hours when you are thinking a lot more than them...

>>23963771
hear hear, i have almost everything automated. manager is impressed with my progress. i keep my laptop on youtube so that the computer remains online on slack.
My employer is considering this to become a permanent setup even after the China virus is through.
Thank you China, thank you Xi Jinping.

>>23961099
Fuck you.

>>23967603
this is exactly it, i feel that i am doing much more in two hours than what my colleagues do in couple of days.

>>23967603
Even before the meme flu, the average wagie cagie resident only worked 2.5 hours a day. The rest is spent bullshitting, checking emails, long lunch breaks, checking their phones on the toilet, etc.
And that's an *average*, which tend to skew high. Most people work less than that.
If you're remotely competent, you can easily spend 10 hours a week doing *real* work and blow past your co-workers.

>>23965588
Life sometimes is stranger than fiction.
If you look at those who had a bad end in history you will find out that they got destroyed by their lust for power and their nature of seeking it with no restraint could have been cured with a therapy.

Could you suggest a movie from Kurosawa to watch?

>>23961005
>work in oil and gas
>no one driving so massive drop in demand
>cant work from home anyway as i gotta be on the rigsite
REEEEEEE you dirty neets go drive so gas prices rise!! Im dying here!

>>23967729
Depends. On every organization, there are people doing menial monkey work that management refuses to automate. Those people works tremendous amounts of hours, because their jobs involve a lot of doing and not a bit of thinking.
The people who have to solve problems are generally able to work less, depending on how smart they are and how experienced they are. For example, at my current position I am able to only try to really work one or two days a week, because I solve the difficult conceptual/logical problems people have. Rest is spent listening to juniors and helping them, or occasionally reporting to managers/clients.

>>23967244
BASED

>>23967729
Where do you work?

I work for a govt org in DC and most of the time our team doesn’t even have time to eat lunch because of all the work deadlines

>>23967244
I've never changed companies, I've been 3 years at the same place, but I often fantasize about doing this.
But I could never find an interesting role.l that paid well. I did find one in another country, but it was aborted due to covid, I had already been accepted to be hired (still had not discussed the salary).

>>23967568
>i think i'm going to demand to be 100% wfh once we """go back to the office."""
I'll do this too, except something tells me I won't have to. We were already on a staggered WFH schedule before covid, and our company is one of the ones that realized that they get to save a ton of money by reducing infrastructure

>>23963387
Indeed. Hard to comprehend how many more times comfy this shit is than any other generations existence. Truly excellent timeline anon.

>>23968333
You could try to work for Sergey. Most of his open positions are for remote work.
You may have to work more than for a bigger company.
But it may be worth it if you can get paid a bonus in Chainlink when it pumps.

>>23962665
Just use a virtual background. It’s literally one click and it’s not suspicious since most people use it.

>>23967568
I negotiated to at least 60% remote work after covid is over. I think it will be more because everyone I interviewed with had young children and I doubt they are itching to go back to the cage. Good luck anon, there is no good reason for them to take you back to the cage.

what do you niggers do all day? I'm fucking constantly busy. it's horrible

>>23961005
im on vacation today
buying shitcoins, reading literature and enjoying life

I start my new job Dec 7th and it will be 100% WFH. My current job is a mix of WFH and going to customer sites. I tend to prefer it as it breaks things up. I feel like I'm going to go crazy WFH full-time.

>>23968894
I play chess and browse biz

>>23968894
browse biz, about to go take a shit, might play some kingdom come deliverance, will go workout. then i need to study for my courses

>>23968164
True, I'm also closer to your position. There's really only so much programming even a seasoned programmer can do before their brain stops working for the day.
>>23968326
I also work a government job. Without knowing the details of your org, my experience with government jobs is that it's the number of meetings that kills your productivity, not the tasks themselves. One of the best pieces of advice my (super based) supervisor gave me was if a meeting isn't relevant, just don't show up. No one will notice.

>>23968917
I have done 5 min of work today (read and replied to an email) and got a full days pay

>>23961565
Tell them they have to buy your webcam. Then, once they've agreed, buy the most expensive camera you can. THEN, claim it broke a week later

Is this wagecage general?

>>23969161
The opposite

Based. I reckon I do 50% less work. Some days I do literally nothing. I spend most of it browsing twitter, shitposting, and checking bitcoinwisdom.

>>23969190
50%? are you going for a promotion? You should be working 1-2 hrs max

>>23969228
I did 3-5 max previously. Also got a pay rise last month, jej.

>>23968950
boomer

>>23968894
I actually work from home

for those that have to keep their work computer "active" / "available" / etc, how do you fake it? my company uses Microsoft Teams and I'd like to show that I'm always "active", even when I'm shit-posting on /biz/ for hours.

>>23969320
I just move my mouse every now and then

>>23969320
Open a stream. Or open a word doc and put a weight (e.g. a coin or two) on a key, and it will start typing.

>>23969338
this is what I do but I want to NOT have to do this

>>23969372
thanks, the coin trick seems like a no-brainer. I was hoping for a script or some smart big brain shit from you comp sci nerds.

>>23969372
Stream like YouTube?

>>23969338
It's basically muscle memory for me to do it every so many minutes now

>>23969026
I'm not a programmer, though, I'm a quant at a bank. I do work directly with programmers, however.

>>23961005
Landlord here. Doing absolutely nothing as well. Keep up the good work so you can pay me more money.

>>23969901
But anon, I moved back in with my parents after my lease ended a few months ago. Many such cases these days.

>>23968770
It doesn't work 100% of the time and there is a small risk something will appear for some time if you move or are unlucky. You have to be ready for something to be seen by accident if you use this solution.
I don't want to add risk to my life for no reason and would only consider doing this if I was planning to leave my work and burn all the bridges...

>>23968950
get a dog

>>23969615
How did you get into quant? I studied engineering and hate my job. Trying to get a different career. Do you have to be smart as fuck or just clever for quant?

>>23967286
I think it’s still the latter. I work a couple hours a week but I still seem to push more code than the rest of my team combined

>Anon you had a very good performance these weeks

Thanks I spent most of the time doing horrible trades with shitcoins

>>23961005
Hello lads. Supremely I’ve been supremely comfy since March. My company just sold both their offices and got a token office in a coworking space. Profits and revenues are up over last year too, so I’m thinking this is here to stay. It’s great being paid to have sex with my wife.

I spread out the 1 hour of moderate work across 3. We use google hangouts to show online, so I just have a auto reloader on a gmail tab to show I’m online all the time. Best part is my commissions are at all time highs.

Honestly I’m getting bored bros, any non-crypto side hustles to pursue? Nothing like getting double paid.

>>23961565
Anonvc.com

>>23969320

I use a tiny piece of software called ‘Caffeine’ which spams a key constantly (by default I think it’s F13 which does fuck all)

>>23972550
based and thank (You)!

Fuck bosses, fuck corporations
Stonks go up, I am taking a 3 month hiatus

>>23961005
Based. Hope I'll soon make it too. Next half a year I think will decide where BTC is going.

>>23967244
God speed anon

>spent three hours changing the names of buttons in a visual studio form
I worked harder when I used to code my own shit for free.

>>23961005
I make $3k a day on a bad day
My brother is waging in a restaurant I bought him that is now failing miserably because of covid (he sounded miserable on the phone today)
My mother is waging because she likes it (keep telling her to quit)
My dad wants no help because pride etc

How do I help them /biz/? Already bought my brother a place to work and he fails at it also he gives me anxiety

>>23969320
Mechanical mouse mover. Check amazon. Dont use software, workstations are monitored