/biz/ - Business & Finance

Make fake company names and say you worked for one. Mostly people won’t check. Lie and use friends to help you cover. Try to go back to college. Lots of graduate schools offer academic scholarships. Copy paste job descriptions into a word aggregator and filter them by most used words. Then pepper them into your resume so it’s picked up by the algorithms. Google other methods of getting past sorting algorithms on employer websites. Don’t waste time on cover letters. The most important thing you need to show is that you’ve been consistently employed and are reliable.

>>23959997
>Google other methods of getting past sorting algorithms on employer websites
Is this a thing that low skilled employers, like restaurant chains use? Jesus Christ, the future is horrifying.

>>23959997
faking jobs works pretty well if you have a friend who can convincingly lie on your behalf. OP don't ask you fuck up friend to do this for you. Ask a competent one that will answer the phone. Just come up with some basic info like your pretend start/end date, some basic tasks you did

>>23960055
Do I say that I'm currently employed? Or that I just recently got laid off?

>>23960102
OP I’m going to give you some further good advice - these people who are giving you a job fuck em - lie lie and lie some more - I wish someone had so bluntly told me this - the whole career resume thing is a bunch of bs - lie in your interactions - so with that in mind do not tell them you got laid off - that is basically asking to be nexted

>>23961048
So my resume should have 0 truth and I should bullshit everything? Honestly, it's worth a shot at this point

>>23961048
Absolutely. Lie lie lie lie lie.

>>23961146
No retard. But if you’re laid off say you’re still employed there but you’re looking for a better opportunity with more responsibility and this job seems like a good fit for what you want. But they can’t call your current employer bc you don’t know if you’re going to leave yet.

Where's that image meme about
> boomer: start in mail room, work way up to CEO
> gen z: get rejected from entry-level mail room job because you don't have a master's in Mail Room Technology and five years of experience

I feel for you kids, OP. Biden is going to fuck you even harder with his "open the borders, free healthcare for illegal immigrants, destroy wages for skilled workers with H1-B". You can't even mow lawns for a living because the Mexicans don't pay taxes and are willing to do it for beans.

I seriously hope you didn't vote for that guy, but you're probably stupid and did.

Anyway, as far as jerbs go, it depends on what your skills are and whether you're able to start things on your own. Can you fix elderly boomers' computers? Can you tutor grade schoolers in math? Can you pole-dance while swaying a pair of enormous titties and simps' faces? Is your pimp hand strong enough to keep a herd of crack whores in your power?

Seriously, I've had two careers destroyed out from underneath me by H1-B. I'm just glad I bought Bitcoin in 2014.

>>23959968
Air force. If you have a degree you could be getting bah as soon as 2 years.

You really have 2 options:

get a good skill that translates, like cyber or IT

do your time, use vet prefferential hiring and your security clearance and get a gov or beltway bandit job and make 80k with a stupid it cert. that or get paid 30k a year to go to school.

You could do it with army or marines as well but harder life.

Where's that image meme about
> boomer: start in mail room, work way up to CEO
> gen z: get rejected from entry-level mail room job because you don't have a master's in Mail Room Technology and five years of experience

I feel for you kids, OP. Biden is going to fuck you even harder with his "open the borders, free healthcare for illegal immigrants, destroy wages for skilled workers with H1-B". You can't even mow lawns for a living because the Mexicans don't pay taxes and are willing to do it for beans.

I seriously hope you didn't vote for that guy, but you're probably stupid and did.

Anyway, as far as jerbs go, it depends on what your skills are and whether you're able to start things on your own. Can you fix elderly boomers' computers? Can you tutor grade schoolers in math? Can you pole-dance while swaying a pair of enormous titties in simps' faces? Is your pimp hand strong enough to keep a herd of crack whores in your power?

>>23961380
I live in Canada. Can't start a business because it costs thousands of dollars for a license as you have to pay the city, province and federal government. Our economy is shit locally, so opening a business is also very risky. You also need a certificate to tutor and many boomers here just refuse to even use a computer. I really wish I lived in the land of opportunity, though things are fucked there too

>>23959968
That pic

>>23961459
With boomers, the ride never ends :)

>>23961501
us minimum wage 1971 = 1.40 usd
adjusted for inflation = 19 usd 2020

>>23961440
Just for clarity, OP was replying to me, and I deleted and replaced my post with >>23961394 because of a typo.

OP, if you have a degree, I would suggest applying to teach ESL in Asia. Most countries will let you in if you have a job offer. Or you can walk across the border into Burgerland and demand refugee status and your free healthcare.

>>23961514

>>23961501

I unironically agree with the image

if not for free, you should be able to hire dumbass kids for a few bucks an hour. minimum wage is an abomination.

>>23961525
it get's worse when you realize 1971 minimum wage pays income taxes now.

>I NEED JOB ADVICE GUYS HERES THE SITUATION IM A MINIMUM WAGE WORKER WITH NO SKILLS
[snip]
learn a trade. the end.
>>23961048
also good advice. but if you just learn a trade you won't have any of these problems. that's the problem today is that at a no point in your formative years, through to high school + college are you ever told you should just learn something regular like plumbing. op whatever you spent the last 8 years doing you need a sanity check just learn how to weld or some shit bro.

>>23961501
its fake but legitimate
if someone wants to work for free they should be able to. contrast working for free at age 16 in a mechanic shop or some shit to PAYING hundreds of thousands of dollars to learn history or macroeconomics at a university
the former is a million times better off than the latter but muh minimum wage aka pricing people like OP out of the market so they can't even get a foot in and learn some kind of skill

>>23961522
Neither of those things are realistic. America isn't going to accept me as a refugee. Thank you for the advise though

>>23961525
is there any country on the planet where this didnt happen? im willing to move to fkn Angola or whatever if they avoided the inflation death spin

>>23959968
>>My mom keeps bitching about how "there's lots of good jobs out there" and that I just need to call random managers and ask for one
>>Dad tells me he wished he had my opportunity when he was young
retards detected
these are the ones saying irrelevant dumbass phrases without any context like "grow up" and "get a job" without even thinking twice or caring about people they tell this stupid shit

>>23961607
iran

>>23959968
I dont even know what that bitch is saying, job bank?

>>23959968
go find a job in the city, and live with young roomates.

You dont need a job as much as you need to be free of your parents. Amazon warehouse hires people all the time. Go live in a shitty apartment next to a warehouse outside of a relatively good city and your life will improve 10,000% just being on your own.

>>23961602
When the guy is really teaching him then trade, then yes.

>>23961501
When the guy is really teaching them the trade, then yes. As cheap slave labor - no