/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>23186496
how early did you tell your boss about DIA to get that role anon I must know how to be like you

As the Asian if she swallows, and make the other interns watch you cream pie her.

>>23186496
i just found out something weird happens when i type desu
and also if i type senpai

>>23186521
it makes my pants tight

>>23186521
GO BACK PLEASE

>>23186513
Sorry, DIA? What?

>>23186531
please forgive me senpai

>>23186535
DIA
you know
like LINK but way more nascent

>>23186559
Ah, more shilling..

>>23186496
Ask if she’s single....
Single handedly ready to take on this position
Then ask what’s her favorite position...
Favorite position when she’s playing her favorite sport of course
Then ask if she’s ready for the ride of her life...
Since working for this company is like a rollercoaster
Finally, ask her if she’s ready for deez....
Deez nuts dragged across her forehead after she tongues your anus passionately

>>23186585
This company is a Fortune 100 business consultancy firm, one of the top in the world. I can't imagine the fucking awkwardness of that situation.

>>23186496
Get to know their personalities desu see if they'd be a good fit for the company. There's more to a good worker than a resume.
Almost act like you're trying to be friends with them, not literally but you want that camaraderie to better get a feel for them

>>23186612
I also work in fortune 100. One of the “best in the world”. It’s almost obligatory to demand sexual favors from your interns in return for a potential job. It’s the way the world has worked for centuries now. You are in control

>>23186496
>if you could improve one part of your resume what would it be and why

>>23186612
In all seriousness though OP, here are some good questions for corporate fluff jobs such as yours
>tell me about a time you helped somebody achieve a goal that wasn’t your own
>how do you approach unfamiliar situations? How would you handle your first day on the job if given no instruction?
>tell me about a risk you took that didn’t work out well. what did you learn and how do you apply that knowledge today
>tell me what you could improve about yourself
>if you won the lottery, how would you spend your time not having to work
>What is the most surprising piece of feedback you’ve ever heard about yourself
>when is the last time you asked for feedback about your performance and how have you applied that in your work since then
You’re welcome. I am an engineer but I’ve been through so many interviews that I know these are all typical questions

>>23186496
Pick the one that'll stick with the job. It'll make your job easier.

>>23186659
Lol so the Asian qt it is I guess. Sounds good.
>>23186657
I almost feel bad doing this. I hated interviewing for years and I really struggled to get this job after a long time of trying. This isn't my first job out of college and I have always hated the whole interviewing process. Acting like an idiot would get back to my manager and get me in trouble though. But I hate the fake sincerity thing really.

>>23186672
This is a great question, really. I really like this. I image at age 21 this would have been extremely difficult for me to answer though. Thanks.
>>23186716
I'm copying these. Thank you.

>>23186496
Ask them something like: if you could eat your own weiner, would you?

desu senpai

>>23187061
I'll hire the guy that says "Absolutely, and you?" without hesitation.

>>23186612
AND YOU'RE TRADING SHITCOINS WITH THE REST OF US CRABS IN THE LUNCHBUCKET

>>23187091
I've been trading shitcoins for 4 years now, working at a "good company" for less than a year, and made far, far more than I ever would at any company.

>>23186515
based anon knows how to exploit this

>>23186496
What is bad about their resume?
Spelling mistakes or bad formatting?
I imagine at 21 you can't put down much experience or qualifications, that being a given.

>>23187118

Yeah, I started a year ago, have 10xed my initial investments so far. Don't see a reason to not keep going. Lots of room for growth.

>>23186496
throw paper on the floor and if they pick it up when they walk in hire them

>>23187118
Op is this Technical consulting role or we looking at some business users that need someone semi technical savy person to come in and save their project?
Because I can do both so long as its 6 figures / remote.

>technical consultant

Just fuck creampie the asian like anon says. If she can't do her job then just hire another intern and creampie them

>>23186496

Call her in for the interview.

“So I’m going to be honest, everyone’s resumes are complete shit. Yours was passable, but didn’t really stand out. I want to hire you, but I can’t risk my neck,
so I need to be sold on this. I need someone in this company that I can rely upon, and trust to get the job done. What can you do to set yourself apart?”

If she asks “What do you mean?” tell her, “That’s what I’m asking you. I’m not going to ask you to “sell me this pen,” X. I want to know how you’d answer this question.”

After you say that, shut up. Let it get awkward.

At this point, her brain should be totally fried from a combination of brutal honesty overload, not understanding the question, awkwardness, anxiety, a sense of wanting to fill the gap, and the desire to please you. She is probably inventing her own sexual harassment, mentally. After that, let her do what she needs to.

If she sucks your dick, you can hire her. Don’t ever ask her to do anything, tell her. “Do you drink?” answered affirmatively, should be followed by “You’re coming with us tonight.” That said, you probably shouldn’t hire her, unless she impresses you afterwards. These women are trouble, although maybe the controllable kind.

If she spergs out or starts crying, kick her the fuck out. She has NO PLACE in the boardroom if she can’t even handle an abstract question like this.

If she actually impresses you, treat her perfectly. You have a keeper.

If someone tries to rat you out, refer back to the abstract nature of your request and play dumb.

>>23186496
Amount of cringe on this board is unbearable.

If it's your own business follow this instruction:
1. Just judge candidates based on their skills.
2. Hire one which could do your duties better so you can dump your workload on him.
3. Young and smart guy is sometines better than "specjalist" as he charges 50% of what experienced workers make. Experienced workerswho change work often tend to be leeches, watch out.
4. Never hire a young woman, she will get knocked in 1-2years and dissapear for another 2-3 years to raise a kid.
5. Never hire women in general unless she has some outstanding fitting skills.

In case it's mr. Shekelstein's corporation just do the opposite. Hire most attractive sluts and beta males so you could have a better social position and larp as alpha easier.


Also,
Girl in the pic looks like disgusting chewed up doll from trollz. How could you ever put this Asian mongoloid over white aryan beauty or lustfil olive skin mediterannian latina. Rethink your life

>>23186496
that's a man

>>23186496
Is she vietnamese? if so? tomochain hehehe

>>23187760
They're interns, you retard. They can't do anything. This is OPs problem. How do you judge peoples skills when they don't have any? How do you even interview them if you know they don't have experience? It's not about hiring experienced workers or anything. Read the fucking posts next time before you spout your wagie opinion.

>>23187760
>>23188263
Fucking wagies.
Creampie her and report back anon. Was the pussy sideways or blurred out?

>>23186496
At that point it’s not about what they’ve done as much as what potential they have to be coached and respond to criticism/training. Nobody will be any good when they first enter a field, you need to gauge what sort of a person they are, will they be a good fit in your team and how/whether you think you can coach them to reach their maximum potential? If they don’t have much potential to be good then don’t hire. If they have a lot of potential but no experience then they should be considered.

>>23187145
Nothing that bad. They all come from top colleges really. It's just that they have no real experience, list a few things from high school, most of the resume is unrelated at all to the job, "Summer Camp Counselor" type garbage, and weird formatting in some places. It's cute if you're like 20-21 I guess.
>>23187232
Too bad they're doing this over phone and zoom. It's a good idea.

>>23187642
There are legitimate geniuses on this board. Holy shit.

>>23187760
Girl in the pic isn't the girl who submitted her resume. I'm not a genius but I'm not that dumb.

>>23186496
Hiring doesn't work like that usually four or five people from management are involved in screening resumes and interviewing candidates
You're either larping or your company is s joke

>>23186496
How much Ecochain does this Asian hold? TELL ME.

>>23188263
Thanks for understanding. You articulated the problem pretty well. It's all bland college "campus leadership," "teaching assistant," etc. I mean it's nice they have some work ethic, maybe leadership skills, I guess, but doesn't tell me what they can actually do for our clients, like you said, so assessing them is kind of tricky.
And I hate being fake sincere because I remember being treated like shit in interviews and hating the whole experience.
I really considered taking my crypto gains at the time and just starting my own business just because I didn't want to get a job. I realize I'm off-topic now but I don't want to be that asshole who treats them badly.

>>23186521
You have to go back

>>23186559
how are those bags retard?

>>23188558
Let me clarify, because you're right. My colleague and I were given a book of resumes from some colleges and recruiting sites and asked to pick out resumes. We agreed to interview 6 each. Then the ones we select (1 or 2 at most) will be interviewed by a larger team of other employees and my own manager. Given the appeal of our company it's pretty likely whoever we choose will end up being our intern, or 2 interns.