/biz/ - Business & Finance

shut the fuck up

>>22696858
start today

30 years

>>22696858
45 days tops. Sweat it out as much as possible and go to amazon and buy pee tests to test along the way.

heavy smoker here took about 38 days for the pee stick to be clean

>>22696858
unless you're going to get an initial interview within a week you should be good to start applying now.

After the initial interview, if you pass, you will have to do the test. There is another week window to perform the test.

Drink a lot of water and your system will be clear in a month. If you're really paranoid, shave your head so they can't take hair samples

/fit/ fag who smoked daily for years, but a lot less than you did. I applied no more than a week after quitting and passed a urine test with no tricks 2.5 weeks later.

Exercise, sweat a shit ton, and drink AT LEAST A GALLON of water daily.

>>22696947
where the fuck do you live that your employer tests your piss lmao

>>22696925
this, although if you have very low body weight you could possibly half this time

>>22696858
Depends on your weight, metabolism and how much exercise you do. THC binds to your fat cells, If you are fat and lazy it will take a couple of months to pass a piss test. If average/skinny and active its more like 2-4 weeks

>>22696858
1.5 months

>>22696858
Just use the Certo method and don't stop smoking?

>>22696858
bro wtf are you doing applying for jobs lol just keep tokin and buy tokens

>>22696858
listen to this
>>22697094
but anywhere from 1-2months
saunas and working out help get it out faster but if you lose weight while detoxxing your count will go skyhigh for a bit until you piss it out.

>>22697094
>>22697131
I'm 5'10" 165lbs. I'm expecting a month.

The fuck? What kind of jobs drug test?

>>22697121
certo doesn't work you fruit pectin guzzling retard

>>22697239
software engineering

>>22696858
7 days if your chad like, fit, if your fat minimum 30 days.

>>22696858
After you start smoking again. I make 150k from my couch stoned AF

>>22697239

>Not allowed to smoke weed
>allowed to binge drink as much alcohol as you want the night before drug test

Laws are retarded

>>22697021
America

>>22697300
I'm buying dabs for the first time to celebrate the job.

>>22697021
USA and Canada?

>>22697360
oh lord you're in for a ride, son

>>22697390
Weed is legal in Canada though

>>22696858
>>22696925
>>22696947
>>22696972
Are you fucking kidding me niggers? THC tests as a part of job application? For real? Tell me it's a joke.

At this point you burgers are nothing more than poultry at Mr. Goldsteinbergmann's farm

start running

>>22696858
Everyone process thcooh differently. Is it a pee test for sure? If so what is the threshold? 50 ng/ml is common. First u buy a multi level test from amazon. It has a tesr for 20 ng 50 100 200 300 on one stick. Use it first piss in morning to get baseline of where u r at. I work 14 on 14 off. Piss test every 14 days. I still smoke. Once u figure out your specific metabolism to thcooh u r golden. When the tests first started I failed. Took my fat ass 35 days. Dr said he had to dilute my test to make it fall under them max of 1000ng ml thcooh. I also took charcoal pills. People can say they don't work but they did for me

>>22696858
ive gotten management positions without drug tests. if someone is piss testing still theyre retarded and you shouldn't work for them. if its a saliva test just dont smoke the day before and use mouthwash a few times, theyre probably checking for meth anyways

>>22696858
Psychiatrist here
Usually pee tests are okay after few days
BUT
I saw two dudes that smoked horrendous amounts, probably around 3 grams a day for more than one year and their pee tests were still positive after around 60 days.

>>22697533
yeah for real, but if they can push that around the globe, they will.

>>22696972
also OP on the day of the test drink a fuckton of water and take a vitamin B complex a few hours before so that it recolors your otherwise clear pee

>>22697533
Unbelievable these burgers are still thinking they live in the land of the free.

>>22697253
Definitely not, unless you work for the NSA

I’m a software engineer. The only company that I’ve heard drug tests is Citadel

>>22697938
HCL drug tests

>>22697841
Name somewhere with more freedom than the US. I am not being sarcastic or anything like that, I seriously want to leave the country but I don't know where to go.

>>22697021
burgerstan

>>22696858
pro tip get a job that respects you enough not to check your urine.

please op you can do it.

>>22698215
depends on what you want to do.

Drug test for wagecageing? Oh no burgers tell me this is a joke.

>>22696858
OP, your dumb for thinking you need to quit to pass and everyone else in this thread are obviously a bunch of noobs at scammin. Buy synthetic urine, it'll cost you 30 bucks or so. You'll feel like a fag for hiding a warm bottle of fake piss taped to your leg, but you'll pass. I've had 3 friends that have smoked since high school never stopped, and never failed with fake pee. Unless your trying to get a in law enforcement or the mil you should be good.

I piss clean within 2 days of smoking a 1gram blunt. Back when i was a heavy toker (half gram a day for 6+ months it took me 8 days to get clean). If you have a fast metabolism and exercise/eat right its nothing to worry about. Make sure to dilute too it cuts the time in half

>>22698215
Fuck you there is no fleeing from this to another country ((((they)))) want 1 world order so that fleeing won't even be possible anymore. so make a stand now before it's to late and help fix your country.

>>22698400

>>22696858
Confirmed.
Daily long term user, self medicate.
45 days before drop for life insurance.
Passed. Praise Jesus!

>>22696925
(confirmed)

>>22698373
>>22698446
Amazing how everybody is so quick to shit on America yet not a single person can come up with the name of a better country.

>>22699124
Switzerland
Germany
Holland
All of Scandinavia
anywere warm that doesn't have Burgers
anywhere that doesn't have Burgers
fucking Canada ffs
anywhere else I've missed

>>22698215
There's nowhere to go. Everywhere else is worse, go and see for yourself if you don't believe.

>>22696858
30 days if your overweight .

>>22696858
It depends on how much body fat you have anon, since you are posting here I would assume its more not less. Give it a month a buy a piss test from the drug store to see if you are clean.

>>22696925
OP isn’t a heavy smoker for a gram a day... I smoke about 3.5g a day and it would probably take a month tops to clean my system. If it was concentrated I’d say a month and a half

>>22699242
>Canada
>Where it is a violation of your human rights when women refuse to wax your female balls because you are a tranny
>Canada
>Fucking Canada is better than the US
>t. Someone that has never used a board with flags
>Canada is better than the US
Nigga

>>22699242
What’s wrong with burgers?

>>22699408
concentrates*

>>22699431
British people hate us because they used to be the most important country but now the US is the most important country and nobody cares about them. Plus we broke free from their control and they are still pissy about it. Brits are subhuman.

>>22696858
>>22696925
>>22696972
>>22697104
>>22697621
>>22697804
>>22697664
>>22698159
>>22698279
>>22698392
>>22698436
>>22698491
>>22699365
SO MANY FUCKING RETARDS JESUS CHRIST. PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU MORONS ACTUALLY STOP SMOKING FOR DRUG TESTS? UNREAL.
>>22698400
First off, checked. OP listen to this guy. Unless someone is watching you piss or it's some crazy advanced drug test for spec ops you can get away with subbing synthetic urine. I personally recommend QuickFix, but I've heard of people succeeding with some shit called Ultimate Gold as well as Monkey Wizz. Have never heard of the brand this guy posted. I know of people who get DoT drug tests that legit carry a box with them everyday in case they get called for a drug test at work. The only time you should stop smoking is for a tolerance break dude, not a fucking pee test.

>>22699124
it depends on what you want to do dipshit.
the truth is that there are ~5 US states that btfo everywhere else for economic and personal freedoms, but they lack the infrastructure, amenities, and easy gash that collectivist wealthy nations like sk, japan, and some euros have. on top of that, if you want to live as a poseur degenerate aristocrat with a dozen kids from as many live in maids, you're infinitely better off in a place with easily circumvented legal systems and cheap living standards, in which case you're looking at third world south america, sea, or the dark continent.

>>22699649
Also strongly recommending against going to a headshop for your fake piss. Never know how old the boxes are/ how legit their supplier is. QuickFix lets you verify batch online.

Some places are wise to the fake piss, and actually care. Had a warehouse job where they intentionally told me the wrong time for the screen which is a problem because the piss needs to be the right temp.

>>22699845
>working for someone who doesn't respect your time
First mistake right there. You tell them that you have a kid, other job, school, etc anything and that you don't have time to play those games.

>>22696858
Took two months for my piss to be after smoking like that for years. Test yourself over time with Walmart drug tests and remember that the ones that your employer will use will be more sensitive.

>>22699649
your fucking retarded , what if he flushes by mistake and have to redo the test ?

and theses guys are constantly trying to find a way to indentify theses "novel urine formula "

if you fail your test its going to show the next time you do a piss test and they will have someone sit there and look at you piss hole to make sure you are not trying to cheat.

dont risk it and take thoses 30 days off

>>22698215
Israel. Tel Aviv is basically the US

>>22696858
good decision. I only started smoking in lockdown and it's really been dragging me down. The worst people are stoner copetards.

You should wait zero days.
Keep smoking tree and look to exit wage slavery.

>>22698491
What's your BMI?

Just got a call from a recruiter and the offer is $90k. (I'm in a job placement program, they posted my resume today) What to do now? Run a marathon? Can't pass this one up.

Carry a small pouch with clean piss in it.

Just pray it somehow doesn't break while you're doing interviews

>>22700821
Dude here’s all you have to do, don’t listen to any of these retards. The morning of the drug test, drink 2 gallons of water. Yes, 2 gallons. Your piss will be clear and diluted so much so that it will pass. I smoke daily and I perform drug tests for people and know all the tricks. This is the only way. If anything it’ll buy you more time to get clean when they call you to retest.

>>22696947
>shave your head so they can't take hair samples
H-hi I'm here for the interview

>>22696858
>How long should I wait until I apply for jobs?
5 Years before you view the world like a normal person

>>22700821
Also, make sure to collect the piss midstream. If it’s a hair test you’re fucked. Good luck

>>22696925
Holy shit how fucking fat are you? Anything over 30 days to detox means you are obscenely obese.

>>22696858
Get fake piss. EZ

>>22696858
At least 3 months. Any other fag that says otherwise is a fucking retard. Buy weed piss tests at the dollar store.

>>22697466
Employers can and will refuse you if they choose to though

>>22701734
imagine being a metabolismlet, kek

>>22701488
too diluted is a fail you fucking retard

had a friend that used fake piss for a dot 5 panel you should be fine

my advice is pic related

>>22701936
He's right, but you'll also turn into the human spud, especially if you do this before puberty. Have you seen retards don't sleep ever, they just go a billion miles an hour in the wrong direction.

You should go to 2-3 grams a day and then stop, really easy if you faced your own reality

>>22701936
>>22702024
if you can sleep an extra hour and be 10% more productive per unit time during your work, that's a good trade. Realistically nobody is shaving THREE hours off their sleeptime without taking a significant performance hit which then gets spread out over all the hours of the day, this advice is dogshit

>>22701488
checked, nice 1488

I was a heeaavvy smoker, and i pissed clean in like 5-7 days and im fat. 45 days is a meme.. also have used quickfix several times

>>22697533
>At this point you burgers are nothing more than poultry at Mr. Goldsteinbergmann's farm
Holy fucking kek

Don't even bother trying to detox. It's a meme and hardly ever works. It takes months and months to be truly sure. Just buy a bottle of quickfix and call it a day. Or get a medical card and sue them if they use it against you.

>>22702141
This guy is flat out lying and trying to cost you a job OP.

I smoke 2 grams a day AMA

>>22700663
>another retard who has no idea what they are talking about

especially don't listen to this jackoff
>>22701488

>>22701488
No this is so wrong. If it’s too diluted they will throw it out and you fail the test

>>22702312
Experience says otherwise, the threshold on piss tests is high, you can pass one quickly. Follicle is another story.. saliva test youll be clean in 72 hours. Im a veteran, faggot

>>22696858
A month. Hit the gym a lot and drink a lot of water before you get tested

>>22702440
I don't give a fuck, I shit on your nonsense 'veteran' spiel, go kys. You are lying in order to cost OP a job, so is everyone else spewing bullshit ITT.

>>22696858
i got away with only four days detox before a piss test, drank a Stinger "the buzz" detox drink morning of though. my employer might have accepted a dilute negative though, and others may not.

start applying now and simply schedule your interview date as far ahead as they will let you

>>22696858
45 days. do couch to 5k and the nhs strength and flex program. it will get you moving in a cardio sense and help move it out of your system. you shit most of the metabolites out and having a faster metabolism from light running and calisthenics 6 days a week will speed things along and help you reduce mental fog

>>22696858
Anywhere from a month to 3 months depending on how fat you are. Work out so long as it's not a few days before the test to help clear your system. Use at home piss tests every two weeks or so to check progress. Piss a little into the toilet first at collection time.

Start applying today
Start working out today
Start drinking more water today
You'll be fine, when you think about smoking distract yourself. When hang around friends that smoke make it clear that you can't partake and stick to that.

>>22696858
Just use the 3hr stinger detox anon. Worked for me multiple times.

>>22698244
kekekekeke

>>22699649
based

>>22701500
ajajajaj

>>22702377
Do you ever get hyperemesis syndrome or nausea?
Why don’t you use vapes instead of smoking?

Get a clean friend of the same sex to pee into a bottle the night before DT, put bottle into fridge. Next morning, put piss into condom and rest it in the pit of your thigh and groin for 4-5 hours before test.

>>22703552
No. Vape is ok I use it some times but the dry air irritates my sinuses. I smoke from water pipes and it honestly feels healthier and gets you higher.

>>22703574
That's super gay

>>22703608
Yeah but it works if you’re in a bind

>>22696858
stay poor nigger
this is what you get for doing drugs

>>22703766
>checked and based TRad ID
ahhahahahahhahahahaha

>>22696858
Just bring pee with you in a medicine bottle. Wear tight spandex pulled up to your belly button with the pee bottle beside your ballsack. Leave it there for an hour. Easy pass

Imagine detoxing over a job loool

>>22703766
I make more than you fag

>>22703819
Also Ultimate Gold works for me and im on probation

Im on paper and STILL smoke

>>22703828
sure thing bud
im a neet. $0.01 is more than $0.00

>>22699242
Portugal if ur a shitskin.

>>22697253
Wrong. The tech industry doesn't drug test, unless you count Nintendo.

>>22696858
>drug tests
>not living in the UK
mad lad