/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>22264124
startup company who sucks me off

>>22264124
get certified to bid government contracts and then bid and win a few million in small business set asides for janitorial work.

do the work.

after 5 year contracts are up repeat and enlarge. Continue for 20-30 years. Retire fabulously wealthy after working part time doing chill labor for federal clients that can't find workers that will pass a background and drug test.

Name an ethereum token off a meme, spam it on /biz/ for a month and then cash out

>>22264124
>virtual reality clothing shops where you can fit you product so you dopnmt have to ship it back when stupid US sizes.
>spotify plugin where you can listen to what people are listening around you
>rubber/plastic combo tire with hard layer so it doesnt go flat
>giant turbines in the sea for free power

>>22264124
Shill supplements that do not work for cents every day

>>22264124
peepoo for free

Also, it seems that defi scams are the most profitable at the moment.

>>22264124
I did coke with her.

Also, invest in VR sex dolls

>>22264124
I want to cum on that face

kneepads

>>22264162
This sounds good. How do you get certified to make bids for gov work?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAExa9P7hME

Create a restaurant where you specialize in serving tap water from various parts of the country as an experience of suffering what inner city people experience. With a side of kale salad.

Come up with a new board game. People are staying at home now. Board games are cool.

>>22264124
OK guys hear me out... We call janny a nigger.

>>22264124
go here https://getzencash.free.hr/faucet click every day you got your business

Scratch 'n sniff erotica

>>22264124
alright, so you have a problem, right? And it needs to be solved, and if you can solve it, then you can make some money with the solution. Ok, so how do we solve the problem? Well first, what's the problem?

>>22265199
oh shit
exploit white guilt for profit?
based

>>22265425
It ain’t hurting the white people who matter, so someone’s gotta do it

>>22265621
I'm unironically on board.
I thought about making a venmo or cashapp account, pretending to be black and then requesting money from every white person I could for "reparations", but I'm worried that I'll get caught.

>>22265657
You could transfer that Venmo into crypto from one of those local monero exchange sites and the money will be long gone before you’re caught

>>22265749
Nah, I mean, if someone reports it as a scam, they'll have records of who I am because you can't use apps like that without KYC

>>22265908
we need to find some black people who like money first...

i think we've got our idea! create a Reparations Facebook, where BIPOC can create profiles and share their narrative and make pitches for money, what they need it for and what they'll spend it on etc, and white people/rich people can donate- we'll skim our take off the top and retire to our private island plantations.

call it: Racebook

A selection of erotic cheeses from foreskins around the world.

or, get this: RepMe
>>22266073

>>22265053
Pay loads of money to private citizens who happen to be in the position to grant such things.

Create audiobooks
Potential great passive income

>>22266791
Redpill me on this. Create them or simply record them

>>22264172
Name it “the dip” for free advertising.
Hope you bought the dip ;)

>>22265396
Problem is I don’t have enough money to retire

>>22265657
Black anon here, I will be the face of your operation if we split the profits 70/30 in your favor. But you have to be the one contacting people and all that jazz.

>>22266845
You just read properly a book written by somebody else. You need to reach good quality to be able to sell. So you have to buy a 300usd micro plus some decent software. Some softwares are free. Overall the initial investment is very low. Once you've finished your product you can sell it on Amazon for ever.
I envisioned doing this but in the end I don't have enough free time.

BTW if some of you broke retards need to make an additional 500 USD per month and have lots of spare Tim, I'd recommend you look into lionbridge and Appen jobs. It's time consuming, but very simple and it pays the bills. You can invest this income stream in real estate, stocks, crypto,... And make even more money.

>>22264124
Give me money and I'll send back double money

>>22266996
you can do it for even lower than this, get yourself a dynamic mic + an xlr to usb adaptor (you should research this first, you may be tempted to plug the mic through a 3.5mm adaptor directly into the pc but the quality will be terrible because of the cheap sound card that pc most pcs come with)
As for the software, just pirate it lmao. If you care about ethics, buy it after you've made enough money so that a $100 software won't put a dent in your wallet.
I am planning to do the same thing as a side project since people have been telling me that I've got a soothing voice, hope it works out.

>>22266996
>not reading it in Samuel Jackson voice

Ngmi

>>22267615
Motherfucker

biz grab yourself $2000 and start a (((Charity/NGO)))srs

- its so simple and you can literally be your own boss while having corporate cucks/govs and normies fund you to do activities

-get a good tax agent/accountant to set up the structure($2000)
-get some friends involved and list all of yourselves as 'directors' so you can draw a salary that you set for yourself
-become tax deductible status so companies will happily donate
-government will gladly throw you grants
-pay yourself a salary under "admin expenses"
-brb ok i got a $5000 grant
brb host event for $3000, $1000 goes to 'salary'
-brb get a $2000 grant
-brb buy $700 worth of toys, give to local childrens hospital , $1300 (admin expenses)
-brb hire accountant to set limited liability
-brb this industry never ends and never stops
-brb profit off every disaster by soaking up 'donations' and fucking some off to the needy

you should check the (UN) (Red cross) (world vision) and see how much they pay their directors its about $300,000 all publicly avaliable on their finanical report

>>22267538
Once edited, your voice will be even better
I have a shitty voice, and once i've quickly edited this, it was way nicer

>>22264124
I'm sure most of you have seen mine:

https://www.memeatlas.com/

Basically I was on here so much I started saving all the pepe's and wojak's I saw and thought it would be a good idea to name them and put them on a website. I get around 300 unique users a day now between google search, social media and people just coming to the site. It's been steadily trending upwards ever since wojaks have been trending more and more on social media. That's definitely my highest rated search topic. Still haven't monetized yet because I want it to grow some more organically. I would like to advertise on the banners here but 4chan won't return my emails. Anyways thats my business idea in a nutshell.

>>22264124
Having no idea who this, obviously I headed over to wikipedia's page on her. This is how the section on her career begins
> Calloway joined Instagram in 2012, with the help of her NYU classmate Natalie Beach.

She needed help to make an Instagram account, but then it launched the career of her dreams.

>>22268388
I should mention I now have named and catalogued over 5000 pepe's, wojak's, boomer's, zoomer's, etc. Any anons have experience with driving more traffic to their site? I feel like 300 users a day is modestly good considering I've done no major ad campaigns and the audience is very specific to this site. The inspiration for this came from knowyourmeme, they do an obscene amount of traffic each year so even getting a percent of the hits they do would generate some nice cash.

>>22264124
door to door Christmas light hanging between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

>>22265341
Unironically a billion dollar idea. I would get absolutely hopelessly addicted and ruin my entire life if this was possible.

>>22266996
I have a really smooth voice and good reading ability/voice acting. I think I could potentially do really well with this. And I already have a decent mic thanks to WFH.

Do you have to worry about copyrights and all that shit?

>>22268504
Not bad either and you can take them down for them as well.

>>22268763
yep you can't make an audiobook out of a book for which you don't have the proper permission. Of course, there are exceptions to this, depending on your country. In my country, you can use any book provided it's been written seventy years ago.

>>22268763
if you partner with Amazon acx they'll provided all the information needed.

Also, if your voice is good, you can do voiceovers, etc you can find plenty of gigs / side jobs.

>>22268936
Do I have to suck any Jew dick to get in this

>>22264124
Onlyfans but it's just videos of me beating up and harassing homeless people at night.

>>22268984
Based I hate bums

>>22268959
IIRC Amazon takes 45%of your profit.
The upside is that they provide training/video and some technical support to help you start
I think most platforms take a substantial fraction of your profit.

>>22269109
Thank you anon and dog bless

>>22264124
Kek that gave me a good chuckle

>>22264124
this book looks like the most authentic book ever on the subject.

>>22268388
I knew this site was from a fellow biznessman when i first found it hehe

>>22268388
Also, how do you plan to further monetize the site? I already see some ref links

>>22265341
Already exists in Japan.

>>22264124
Should it be a scam? Not sure if yes bc most of the poster here only posting scam ideas

Well here is my idea:
Offer ppl that you pray for them if they pay $1

The scam version:
You tell them you did pray for them, but in truth you didn't and keep them money

>>22264862
Hey this is Cambridge on the banks of Johns.

A WordPress for crypto where people can easily make their own. As owner of site I get 5% of any token made

>>22264862
>>22269545
Duh I'm a fucking retard you meant CC and she was at Eddies.

>>22269317
>>22269345

>busted

I'd like to get some banner ads in there. People have had good results from mediavine but you need something like 50k sessions a month to sign up. Not really sure what else I could do for now. Strategy wise I'd like to start coming up with weekly OC to drive users to the site instead of being just a retroactive database, but that would be further down the road. The thing is 4chan gets around 22 millions hits per month so I'd really like to start capturing a large portion of that. Problem is once again that they wont respond to emails to run ads on here so I'm stuck not being able to reach my target audience.

>>22268490
Would be better to have a page for each meme with download link rather than linking directly. This way you can put a disqus widget for comments, have a voting system and a title/description for more keyword targeting. Basically copy knowyourmeme

>>22264124
https://youtu.be/JElW3atJhmg

>>22264124
a startup that spreads covid as fast as possible to those in need.

>>22269912
did you know there are millions of people in the world without access to covid?

>>22266209
>a selection of erotic cheeses

I am opening a medical consulting company. Not a doctor, so not practicing medicine, just consulting.

Women will send me pics of their boobs ass vagina and feet and, after payment of my invoice, I will return back health related information for them.
As of this morning it will also be in the business of scent recognition. So you could send say a candle you are marketing and a pair of your used panties or socks, and we will verify that the scents match.

>>22264162
I was told jannies work for free?

I'm an okay writer. I just have no fucking connections or ideas on what to do with that.

>>22268388
I like the idea but you should improve the site if you have some time
some points to work on:
the site is slow. This is because it loads all images at once and they are full sized. You should use smaller sized previews and load more images as the user scrolls
design can be improved, I would try something edgy like the curve . fi site
you can add tags to filter memes
and maybe let users register and submit their own memes so you have even less work to do in the long run

to get more visits you must use SEO. look into it. basically google doesn't like pages with just a lot of images and no text. that's why knowyourmeme has a page for each meme where it explains the origins etc. it's all to get higher places in search results and so more visits
obviously the more broad the term (ex. pepe) the more difficult it is to rank high for it

>>22270857
go on upwork

>>22268388
BASED

>>22267636
People like you are the reason I stopped giving to charity

>>22266730
How to find them?

>>22271363
People need to learn to take care of themselves. Especially black people.

>>22271443
True; it's a sad state of affairs all around.

>>22271549
Life is pain.

>>22266846
DeFi Invest Pajeet or some other name so you could get DIP as the name, thats actually smart anon, lemme find a team to work on it

>>22266073
>>22266215
Holy shit anon, we've done it!

>>22266918
I believe that you're black if you can't even figure out how to use a basic app

>>22266894
Ok, now how do we solve that?

>>22268388
Checked
Nice site, but you're missing sergs & vitaliks

>>22264124
buy a macbook

>>22271137
Thanks for the advice my dude! Ya I'm going to lazy load the links in the next update. Definitely want to add tags too like you said. Also need to improve my search function bar as well. From what I've read about SEO you're spot on. I do have a sitemap so I think that helps out a little but I definitely need to get everything segmented.

>>>22268416

>>22272407
OnlyFam

>>22268388
Seperate your pepes and apus anon

let's pimp out op's mom

Sell your soul to the Devil and go shoot porn.

>>22268388
based anon, use your site quite often

>>22273407
also: you could resell the domain name alone for about 5-10k

>>22265199
You're retarded, no one even drinks tap water. Even you rural hicks don't, despite your tap water being high quality enough to bottle and sell straight from the tap (which is what literally happens, my hometown in the sticks bottles and sells their water, yet people there still buy bottled)

>>22269109
I like this idea
I worked in a recording studio for years and have the random skill of being able to record super high quality audio
How do I get started in exploiting this pls kind anon help

>>22275957
You can find plenty of videos on youtube and so on about all that.
I briefly dwelved into the topic, and you can read some of the information I already gave in this thread
To make it simple, you have to record yourself reading books that are copyright-free, and you need to follow the technical requirements of the platform on which you are about to sell (these requirements seem pretty easy to understand and to follow). Once you've created the mp3 tracks and properly registered on the platform, you can start selling.
I think the usual mistakes beginners do are:
- underestimating the quality requirements (recording with a shit microphone)
- thinking it's an easy job, thinking you can just read randomly etc
Reading properly is time consuming, and editing the whole thing can be very time consuming too.

If I lose my side job i may very well start doing this. The market is still burgeoning in my country.

>>22264862
>I did coke with her.
how was it

>>22264124
This thread is lit. Anons I feel like I’m on the verge of something big. Just have to chill and not force it.