/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>22204950
I thought it already opened.

>>22205011
Fridays they get extra long lunch breaks

>>22205011
9:30am EST

>>22205049
It's 09:50 est.

>>22205049
It's 09:50 est.

>>22205180
>>22205183
>>22205011
Uhm, *EXCUSE* me?

https://www.timeanddate.com/time/zones/est

>>22205255
Trading already started.

NADAQ IS CRASHINNG!!

>>22205439
>>22205369
SELL SELL SELL, THE LEVEE HAS FALLEN

>>22205049
>>22205180
>>22205183
It's EDT not EST.

Thanks for dumping yet again mutts, was yesterday not enough for you?

>>22204950
making more than a six fig wagie for 30 minutes of work
>have a good weekend yall

>Wake up in some American house
>Riots outside, people falling to the ground clutching their confederate flags and flaccid brown silicone wangs respectively as they die from COVID
>You check the markets as the ambulance rocks up for the covid-19 wuhannamen square massacre fucks up "muh liberty, mask bad" spergs and "my mask has my onlyfans url printed on it" spergs alike
>As you open up the wallet, load the exchange and check the charts, the paramedics unfurl a comically large scroll parchment detailing the medical bill for a dying protestor like a medieval serf
>You see your robux are now not worth as much as your burgerbux

remember always do the opposite of biz

>>22206001
>The statue near your McDonalds is pulled down and shat on
>Sell everything
>A covid-carrying African American corpse is shot by a gellatinous cop (too lazy to check his pulse), instead deciding to see if he screams as his chest is turned into Swiss cheese
>You lose your life savings
>You pontificate on what just happened

>>22206084
>Perhaps if I lose half a tonne, I can earn a pittance at Bezo's United Petroleum riding the detroit-made wagie cart that carries his tendies
>After all, it will be just like the rotund racers zipping around Shartmart on their supersize me scooters
>Sh0Ot up a school to get a sense of catharsis

>Salvage school supplies from barren battlefield
>Bezos brand calculator is held in one hand of the preteen, smoke rising from their body, possibly from inner-city pollution, possibly from muh exercise of ammendments
>Overdue notice for cafeteria debt in the other
>Take calculator, press the buttons to determine how much I lost on altcoins I bought because they were named after food
>It's approx 38 years of non-stop walmart wages
>Calculate how much half a tonne is in (the best) US metrics, as I now need to lose the weight in order to pay back my seven-digit student loan, along with my second-mortgage that I took to pump the new KFC menu item from my tummy
>The calculator reads error
>My scales read error

>Return home and pass paramilitary troops coughing into their elaborate infra-red headgear
"I bet they're only wearing those masks because they saw it on CNN"
>Wave politely regardless, because this is the best country on Earth and they should feel at peace, even if we're all suffering under Drumphf's America
>They're on their way to kickstart a coup in some place I've never heard of they pronounced it "Eck wa door"
>Probably in New Mexico or something
>One of them doesn't wave back... Asshole. Doesn't he know its in Silicon Valley & Co terms and conditions on page 417
>He's in the military, probably an inner-city kid who can't read anyway with no other options
>God bless our troops

>Arrive at family-owned business on my way to grab some authentic and culturally savvy cuisine from the Mediterranean mecca of Dominos
(I mean Mecca in the alternative fact way, not the terrorist way)
>This photo I took on my sole form of companionship will look so good on the Chinese spyware app that's taking the world by storm
>Return home, sneak in a quickie before nightshift with my sister, she welcomes me back home with apple pie as we gear up to watch smug talk show host discuss the anti-Trump meaning behind the POC chart-topper song dividing the country
>Sister dies of COVID as Mao Zedong personally threatens Bezos in breaking news courtesy of Disney+
>Says his invasion of Venezuela was unjust, because the CCCP's app had the "no coup challenge" trending, so he's cancelled
>Bezos responds via a fast food entity's snarky online presence, saying that their currency was unsustainable

>>22200344

>>22204950
Can someone recommend some videos or reading to learn how to do short/long trading?
What are the risks?

>be american
>rioters burn down your city
>police does nothing
>feds do nothing
>DA does nothing
>"law and order" prez does nothing
>some armed tards have enough and start confronting the rioters
>people die
>muh white nationalism etc etc
enjoy your civil war burgers lmao

>>22207015
>>22206677
>>22206505
>>22206271
>>22206084
>>22206001
>>22204950
why have europeans been so assblasted over americans this last year?

you see it on basically every 4chan board. "mutt! shart! amerimutts!" etc.
is there something in their water turning them into this?

why are they so hate filled?

"Good thing ours is backed by Bezos' personal solid gold recreation of the Statue of Liberty in the Cayman Islands", I scream at the blurry visage of a wrinkly pundit on Netflix as an innocent protestor steals my tv
>I die of covid - exacerbated by obesity
>Landlord can't make mortgage because I can't pay rent
>GFC restarts
>USD implodes, Bezos dematerialises into his offshore account, forever lost in a sea of digits
>Troops return home
>A new deal is promoted by progressive dems to beat Trump
>Similar crypto-dumping seppos vote for the geriatric to retain a single green piece of paper
>Biden wins
"Sorry, Jack, no handouts - if you think you're poor now, imagine how I felt during the, oh, you know the thing..."
>A secret service agent whispers in his ear
"The primitive currency we used during the primordial days of cornpop and I going at it"
>His inauguration is overshadowed by Trump critics having their social credit score lowered from their twerking on Mao's mobile social media platform
>No one has any money
>After a crippling coughing fit courtesy of COVID, he retreats to imbibe the hair of Netflix latest starlet
>Hillary, Biden, Obama and Bush take a seat in their favourite pizza diner, a la Seinfeld, to reflect on the win
>A CCCP representative, with patches of fast food joints crudely sewn on to his military garb recites the news
"In other news, cryptocurrency is up"
>Everyone dies of covid, except for Bezos, who has become ethereal and sighs loudly as his only companions, his digits, multiply exponentially
"Guess you shouldn't have sold, anon"

>>22207606
It might be the same reason all the nigs are rioting in America. They're just bored because covid shut down so much stuff.