/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>21632153
>MUST BE ABLE TO WORK FLEXIBLE HOURS

>ENJOY 104 DAYS OFF A YEAR

>looking for someone with real passion in the space

>>21632153
>MUST HAVE YOUR OWN WORK TRUCK/VAN >THIS IS A 1099 POSITION

>unlimited vacation time

>MUST BE FAMILIAR WITH MICROSOFT OFFICE

>>21632153
>GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS

>>21632592
Holy fuck this. I have this "unlimited vacation" and havent been able to take more than 4 days off in over a year.

>>21632153

>LOOKING FOR A ROCKSTAR

>Looking for a master developer fluent in [8] languages
>6 years experience
>Junior Developer

>>21632649
it's a scam. always has been

>>21632153
>i- i..i work well with others and alone

>>21632637
kek

>>21632153
> "We're looking for a 4chan neet with extensive knowledge of the films of Anri Okita whose solitary at home drug use pushes him closer and closer to shooting up an office"

>>21632153
>WE'RE A FAMILY HERE

I will commit suicide before returning to "work"

>Looking for a 20 year old with 40 years of experience in GPT3, AI & Machine Learning

>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEED A SALARY MAAAAAAAAAAAAN? YOUR .1% STAKE WILL BE WORTH A BILLION WHEN WE ARE AT LE APPLE MARKET CAP

>>21632153
my greatest weakness? sometimes i try TOO hard

>>21632649
I have a few friends who got memed by this too.

Although I work kind of a shitty job (tinbasher on commercial buildings), it's in my union agreement that I can take as much time off as I want as long as I give one week notice. We don't get paid vacation time, rather we get around $100 each cheque as 'vacation pay', but it ends up being the same thing basically and we don't get fucked for not taking time off
It's the only job I've heard of that actually has unlimited vacation time. I could fuck off for a month if I wanted to, and it would actually be illegal for my company to fire me without giving me a 6 months pay severance buyout (I think, it could honestly be more with my seniority, I haven't looked at my union agreement in forever)

Literally tried applying to be a dish washer (27 yo NEET), but it says 'Experience working in a kitchen and working within a busy environment is essential.'.

Does washing up in my own kitchen count?

>.1% STAKE
if you're lucky
lmao
what a scam
crypto is heavensent

>WE DON'T WANT A "YES MAN"

>casual fun fridays!

>>21632835
Just apply anyways dude. They just put things like this in there so they aren't flooded with a million resumes. No one actually expects there to be a candidate with 5 years dishwashing experience or something stupid like that.

It's even easier than doing dishes at home too, you basically just load up a dishwasher all day long

>>21632894
>virtual happy hour at 18:00

>>21632649
Hahaha wagies

>>21632835
working as a dishwasher fucking sucks. my restaurant never let me put in earbuds despite only being talked to like twice my whole shift. I quit that job and went back to being a NEET

>>21632828
kek

>Want 4 years of experience developing mobile app software
>Also experience with multiple database technologies (MySQL, Elasticsearch, MongoDB)
>Also experience with Linux, Windows, Mac, iOS, and Android
>Also experience with 5 programming languages
>Also experience with network architecture
>Frontend development experience a plus
>Must be familiar with monitoring tools like Prometheus
In what job would you get such varied experience

Why is it so difficult to find a great job that's not a scam?

>>21633069
>Why is it so difficult to find a great job that's not a scam?
nearly all jobs are scams
the market is a scam
cashflow owners can outwait you and you will starve
we are slaves to corporations

>>21633057
It's so they can lowball you since you don't have all the requirements

>>21633130
Fuck i want out as quickly as possible
I need more funds for crypto

>>21632963
>happy hour
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE AFTER SPENDING 9 HOURS WITH THEM???

>Entry level
>Must have 4 years experience

>Woman only

>>21632821
>>Looking for a 20 year old with 40 years of experience in GPT3, AI & Machine Learning
This holy fuck this. There is literally no way to get an IT job unless you have contacts or you suck off the managers. I ended up joining the military, finishing my degree and getting my certs before being able to land a bade level job

>please fill out the online application and attach resume
>they're the same thing

>>21632153
>LOOKING FOR PASSIONATE BUILDERS AND TECHNOLOGY EVANGELISTS

>>21632153
>WE'RE LOOKING FOR A RACIST INCEL

>free fruit in the kitchen

>>21632894
>>21632963
these actually made me want to kms a couple of times. cringy af.

>>21633130
Yup, even Ghaddafi stated that modern work is bs and basically slavery in his Green Book.

>Pay: Competitive

cjvksjviojsdio

>>21632153
We're looking for LOKI hodlers.

>>21632835
Just apply bro, trust me. Restaurants will virtually take anyone as a dishwasher. Dishwashers have a high as fuck attrition rate so they'll probably snag you up.

>>21633896
well theres a reason he was killed off

>>21632772
>anri okita
Why would anyone watch that communist gook shit?

>>21633773
You rang?

>>21633984
True true

>>21632706
>Compensation: $12/hr, no benefits

>>21634023
honestly if i dont find a good woman to marry and have children with, im just gonna spend my crypto funds on going full boogaloo against (((certain people)))

>>21633057
Full stack dev in small shop for a couple years would make you hit most of those

>"Earn up to $X per hour!"

Why is it like this? Is there even any point in getting educated at all? Is there any point at all?

I just want to make it or crash and burn already so I can kill myself.

Just put im a latino with mental disabilities on this janitor job and got the quickest response back ever. is it true they try to fill 12% of their staff with tards?

>entry level position
>experience required
>bartender
>masters required
>positive attitude
>no mention of pay at all
>assistant

>>21634327
I was just thinking that. Maybe the only real way to get a good job is knowing someone. I bet the online application process is purely for companies to say they are diverse and not racist.

Only advice I can offer is to get an internship lads. Grind the internship position out for a year, collect thank you notes, references, and learn how to bullshit a resume. Also interview skills are 90% of the skills you need to get a job. Bullshit bullshit BULLSHIT. You're living in a society of snakes and the only way to rise up and make money in their system is to be a better liar than they are.

>just spent all day with people I don't like
>"alright guys its time to go out for DRINKS so we can spend even more time together! Sounds good right?!"

>>21632706

>Need bachelor degree AND 5 years exp
>For entry level

>>21634327
There's a certain place that doesn't pay their mentally disabled janitors, hope that isn't where you applied.

>>21634765

It's just like anime!!!!!

>Pay increase based on performance!
>Non-renewable contract.
>Chances for promotion.

>Full-time
>Gives part-time hours in contract

>>21632791
THIS FUCKING SHIT

I HATE IT

>>21634765
My soul crashes whenever they try to do this

>>21632153
>MUST BE VACCINATED

>>21635868
After 2 years in my current company I finally don't get asked to join everyone else after work or during lunch. I just mind my business, can't take the fucking normie talk it kills me

>>21632889

>>21632649
>>21633682
You give yourself away as redditors by saying "this" as a means to relate to a particular situation. We don't go on reddit because of people like you. Don't type like that on here anymore.

>>21636170
>We don't go on reddit because of people like you
>We
I don't go to reddit but what do you think this is. I didn't decide anything with anyone here on one accord.

>>21636170
this
>>21636385
this also

>Must be in tune with the current social situation in our country and it's systematic problems

>>21636170
get a life you miserable faggot.

>>21636385
>>21636472
>>21636586
You HAVE to go back. Seriously.

>>21636170
Don't ever @ me again dumbass redditor. Fucking retard

>>21636681
>saying this is reddit
holy newfag

I hate corporate america with a passion.

holy shit i am literally so happy that i study something where i will get a good job

>>21636767
should we tell him?

>>21636807
yes tell me

>>21636743
You say that as if a non corporate america exists.

>>21632835
Pot goblin here. They will take anyone, I've worked with literal sand niggers off the boat who hospitalized themselves sniffing the chemicals under the sink.

>>21634862

>>21632835
It's a retard filter.
If you call and ask for an interview you'll get one.
Its literally the easiest job on earth
>t. did it for 4 years

damn spiral HR coons better answer soon, i just want a comfy 3rd shift hospital jannitor job, eat pcp, clean whilst i overhear ppl hacking weezing off pain

>weekends off

>>21633820
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
I'M SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING SPAMMED ABOUT "FREE" FRUIT, "WEEKLY UPDATES" AND DUMB BULLSHIT MEETINGS ABOUT THE SAME THING THAT'S BEN DISCUSSED FOR THE LAST 8 MONTHS

>>21636692
>don't @ me
>@
I see..maybe you're not from reddit after all...
>>21636716
Excuse my paranoia, but ever since chainlink took off there has been an exaggerated influx of redditor and twitter newfags. So if you're not new, I apologize. But you can easily be larping as an oldfag. Larping stands for "live action role-playing", which basically translates to role-playing. Faggots. now get off my board.

>>21634862

>>21637012
They get paid like 26 an hour where I am but you deal with a lot of shit and rude south Asian nurses

>let's introduce a daily standup

>first day
>talking to the guy that hired me (some mid management guy)
>"so you guys also have a warehouse up north?"
>grabs my arm, looks into my eyes with a smile. "not you... We"
>next week he's working for another company

It's the whole fakeness that really gets to me

>>21632153
Were you the wagekek I overheard being torn into buy your madam? Get back to work you lazy fuck!

>>21632637

Also known as good bullshitting skills.

>>21637124
they're actually very useful when working from home

>>21632835
Unironically yes

>>21633069
Most jobs are soft scams, they're all designed to benefit the higher ups. I've made money trading crypto quicker than any job I've worked in.

>>21632153
>35% on unemployment and very high under-employment
>looking for a team player
>outgoing, positive and energetic
>flexible hours
>competitive(close to minimum) salary

suck it up bois!

I like my job but the pay isn’t great

>>21633635
How is that even legal

>>21636012

Wear a fucking mask and bite through the pain. Jobs are a fucking kindergarten and you don't get REALLY along with your co-workers (aka faking being a pleasant and social person) you'll be punished with no "career progression" and no raises.

I've learned this bitterly, heed my words.

>salary: competitive

>>21636807

Better now than later.

>>21637078
26 to clean up trash?

>>21632153
>2 YEARS EXPERIENCE REQUURED

>>21637149

You and I my friend. This corporate world (it's not contained only in the USA) needs to burn.

>>21632649
lol i said i was exposed to corona virus 2 in two months so i have quarantined already for 28 days in two months hahahah

thank you corona virus.

>>21632772
Where do I sign up

>>21636170
Mid level bait. Not bad, but there is room for improvement.

>OFFICE POTLUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>21636170
this and checked

>Must be an outgoing self-starter who enjoys being part of a team

RAPIDLY GROWING DIVERSE STARTUP
AKA: We are looking for one white guy to do all the work

>>21632791
I nope right out the door of any company that pulls this bullshit. Nothing irritates me more than fakeness. People just want to go to work, exchange their labor for a paycheck, and then get on with their lives. Don't make people have to pretend to be one big happy family on top.

>>21632772
Based

>>21632772
Based. That's literally me

>job is in city
>rent nearby is extremely high
>to buy a place nearby is even higher, 700k starting
>affordable place in my range is 2 hours away
>job doesn't pay enough to afford car also
>have to use public transportation means I have to leave at 6am to get there by 9am
>leaving on the dot at 5pm means I get home by 8pm
>im fucking exhausted by the time I get home, just eat and go straight to sleep
>literally my whole day is spent working
>need my coin to moon badly
>its the only fucking way out
>if not, suicide

>>21634235
I did 5 years home school and didn’t graduate. My bro’s friend hooked me up with an ez 60k a year job. Driving around and chilling half the time for now.

I am a trades working but this is super comfy

>>21632153
imagine waging when SUTER exists

>>21634862

>>21632649
My last company had unlimited PTO and actually stood by it. All employees were required to take off a minimum of 3 weeks a year.
You’re right though, the majority of unlimited PTO companies don’t ever actually let you take PTO.

>mfw I'm a field service engineer that works by myself 90% of the time
>when I do interact it's with some building manager/foreman who only cares about the job or my boss who doesn't like talking anyway
Literally the only job I could ever do, I'd kill myself if I had to work with people all day.

>>21637892
9-5 is a such a horrible standard for the vast majority of wagelsave work. 9-5 is only enjoyable if you have a good and fun job.

Wagslavers should realize this already and make people work 6-3

>>21637960
forgot pic

>>21634862
Wait, so they do it... For free?

>>21637626
>checked
Here’s your (you), you scoundrel.

>>21636692
ID: TAExpert

Do some TA right now and I will buy or sell accordingly

>>21636681
>>21637060
>bites the most obvious bait

>>21637020
>have to work Saturdays
I’m trying to make it through at least to better my social skills which have improved a Ton

>Muh team player
>Muh social skills
I landed the job and and am good at it, but I eat my lunch alone and don't interact with my coworkers if not necessary.
Pretty sure they're afraid I'll shoot up the place.

>>21636692
>id is TA expert

I've got 10k to invest, WHAT DO I DO WITH IT

>>21637679
I hate when it comes down from above, like corporate style "let's all be a family guise!"
But nowadays it sucks that work is one of the last places you can find fellowship and community and make friends
And now you can't even find that boomer style job where you can work 40 years at the same company, build lasting relationships, and retire

>>21632637
Mfw I work for a fortune 500 company and all the pajeets lack basic communication skills

>>21637249
>He actually works from home
>He doesn't trade uniswap trash tokens instead
Ngmi

>>21634862
That's actually illegal. There is no way they aren't being taken advantage of.

>looking for a package manager


T. Recipient of monster.com careers spam for the past 5 years

>>21632359
Those are weekends right?

>>21633773
This will be everywhere after the greatest transfer of wealth competes

>>21637542
Based department? This post right here.

>>21637397
Because it's equality bigot.

>>21638255
Kek I can’t image working with jeets

>>21632806
Same, fuck that noise. I work for myself from home. It's the greatest thing ever. No NPCs or normie bullshit or roastie HR nonsense.

>>21634862
How is this even legal?

>>21637542
Based

/his/ fag here. Why not become a teacher for a private or charter school? Decent but modest pay with all holidays and even the entire summer off. Plus the kids of those kinds of school try harder and aren't all retarded

>>21633773
Any company that did this would instantly become a blue chip stock.

>>21634720
>Work for free
No thanks, I'm not a slave. Back in cagie.

>>21632153
specific to my field of work:

>Senior Accountant
>Education requirements: BS accounting, CPA a must, MBA strongly preferred
>Skills requirements: knowledge of US GAAP and strong technical knowledge of ASC 842, ASC 810, ASC 606, consolidations, external financial reporting including preparation of 10-Q and 10-K, experience with (obscure ERP software), experience with AP, AR, cost accounting, and SALT tax preparation/filing
>Experience requirements: 5-10 years progressive experience, 3-5 years in (specific industry), 4+ years Big 4 public accounting experience desired
>Salary: $45k - $115k (or DOE or just blank)

>>21633635
>>21637397
>>21638353
It's for the secretary of The Based Department. How much of a faggot do you have to be to have a male secretary. And how much of a cuck to not cheat on your wife with her.

>>21636767
Boy do I have news for you

>>21638558
>kids
>Around me
Heh, like you wouldn't believe.

>>21638070

>>21638259
it would be a criminal waste of my intelligence to NEET it up trading for a living. I get recompensed handsomely to boot.

>>21638558
I've thought about this. I might do it in the future.

>>21638724
>I'm so smart that I work for someone else

>>21638724
wagies gonna wage

>>21637990
>6-3
Why do people need to work 9 hours a day? Working week should already be like 20 hours max already. The amount of wasted time people spend in their cages is ridiculous and for the jobs that actually need more hours it just means less employed

>Looking for a canidate with the following skills:
>5 Years experience in network infrastructure topology
>3 years experience network security
>3 years experience in SQL and various proprietary database technologies
>5 years experience Windows server administration
>3 years experience is cloud administration
>2 years experience linux administration
>2 years website management experience
>2 years experience in VMWare or other virtualization technologies
>2 years containerization experience (docker, kubernetes)
>Python experience a huge plus!
>50 hour work week minimum with on call rotation for weekends
>Competitive 37k/yr salary, apply below

I just want to move from help desk bullshit to system admin but every job wants a sysadmin, network admin, website dev, security professional and programmer all wrapped up in one person and is willing to pay a total of 10 peanuts to hire that person.

>>21633896
Is his Green Book worth a read?

>>21632673
JIMMY JOHN'S

>>21636836
If you think you’re getting a good job, so do about 50,000 other people newly graduating/graduates. And guess what, there’s like 8,000 of those jobs available, the rest will be held by workaholic boomers for the next 30 years.

Early 2000s it was petroleum engineer, everyone saying “oh yeah, $200k starting for a BS degree, can’t wait”. Little did they know roughly the entire country of India was cranking out “””””accredited””””” degrees as fast as they could print them and (((businesses))) were hiring them as fast as an HB1 visa could be filed. So by the time all the 2000-2010 high school class was graduating, you would be making better money cleaning the carcinogenic flocculant out of the pipes than as a petroleum engineer.

Go on and tell us, for a laugh, what’s your degree in?

>>21632835
I'm a chef and realized that this is probably a better job, albeit the un-glamorous stigma around it keeps me from going back to that.

I'm glad I work in the aerospace trade where everyone is more or less very based and very redpilled. There isn't any fake normie bullshit, everyone knows whats going on and keeps it on the DL, the "company" tries to poz us and we as a union tell them to shove it

>>21638842
>>21638868
coping jobless here

>>21638931
>50 hour work week minimum with on call rotation for weekends
>Competitive 37k/yr salary, apply below
holy fk it's probably better to work at mcdonald's

>>21632835

Get ready to sweat son.

t. Fridaynight dishwasher for a year in a pancake boat

>>21636170
Are you fucking stupid or something? 4chan has been doing this forever.

>>21635926

I will throw poopdiapers at any company that tries this.
Gonna be real sneaky too put poop diapers in the ceiling

>>21633153
holy fucking shit.
why did i never think of that im retarded.

>>21638955
Checked, and yes. It's super short at just over 100 pages so I recommend getting it from a library. I actually wish it was longer on some issues since I think he kinda cuts i t short. But he doesn't drone on like other political writers it's cut and dry to the point style writing. I don't necessarily agree with all of his viewpoints either, but it is an interesting piece. We fought the wrong enemy.

>>21632706
That shit pisses me off. I learned coding for the purpose of making my own video game but i have no interest in actually getting a job that handles coding like I'm gonna help some company make a game that they earn 500 mil in profits and give me a pittance of 30k....i might as well be a cashier and work on my own game in my free time.

>>21639477
>We fought the wrong enemy
Welcome to America, fren.

>seeking leader with ambition...
>minimum 5 years doing exact same shit
>full osi stack depth and breadth
>want certifications, won't provide any
>half market rate
>legal minimum days holiday
>free parking

I worked as a dishwasher for 7 years and a cook for 1.5 years in the same restaurant. I learned a lot about people and business but I wanted to kill myself everyday. I saved enough to start investing during those shit years and learned the stock/crypto markets. Now I'm a full time investor. We're all going to make it frens.

>>21636170
this!

>>21634765
And then you try to do the motions and comply, and you get even a liiiittle drunk because how else would you stand them, and the rancid bitches will destroy your credibility at the office talking behind your back the next morning.

>>21632835
Lol also a neet. Unemployed for a while now. Cant even get an office job and its starting to look like my obly options are
>retail
>warehouses
>fast food

No more office jobs where I'm basically a secetary or similar. Its humilating since im a man.

No idea if my video will be succesful itdbe great if it did but i have no idea and its not close to being done, maybe another year.

>>21638868
there's a big difference between being a wage slave and working for a passion. I think we are slowly moving to a freelance society. A society that is sustainable if you give up some luxury which mostly are liabilities. Think the car mortage and other shit you don't need.

>>21633180
Hate this too. That's not entry level.

>>21639626
I think you're an actual idiot.

>>21632153
Imagine being a /biz/raeli and still wageslaving.

Nurse here. Will likely become a serial killer.

>WHAT DOES THE CUSTOMER MEAN TO YOU

>>21639477
>We fought the wrong enemy.
Checked

>>21633896
Seems pretty odd he was killed off when he didnt seem to be doing anything towards other countries. Idm what he was doing as i cant remember but i remember funny memes. I recall something about a gold standard so that could be it i mean the us government has seemingly overthrown "dictators" to bring peace but you dont see them doing that in north Korea even with all thats happened there

>>21639626
the beatings will stop once morale improves

>>21639038
lol he left

>>21639803
He was a national socialist and was starting a gold backed dinar currency. Zog said no.

>>21638931
I work as a sysadmin in an investment bank.
It's fucking hell. Came from Helldesk, but this is a million times worse.

>>21634169
Yup. Working sysadmin for 15yrs now but HR would call me DevOps. Any vet in the systems field that worked medium sized enterprise could meet that req.

>>21639626
>working a 9-5 makes me happy
>you drive a Ferrari because you're miserable
I'm so glad I left /pol/ and married /biz/

>>21632889
ITS MAAM

>>21633153
Wow. It makes sense now.

>>21633723
They’re using your free labor as a type monkey to key in your resume data into their database

>been 100% working from home since March
>"you're going to want to start going into the office again two days a week"
>wake up 2 hours earlier than normal
>drive for an hour to get to the office
>sit in a cube
>all my meetings are still online
>literally zero fucking reason at all for me to be there
>at lunch I just left and went home

It's so god damn wasteful.
A car could last me 15 years if I didn't have to commute.

>>21633057
Working on your own apps for years and doing it all by yourself from UI design to backend development while at the same time working full-time as a software dev for a small company that has customers in various fields with various needs.
It's doable but I'm going to fuck off from wage cucking the moment I get my side hustle on its feet. No point in waisting all your skills on someone else's product.

>>21634720
Any books about nailing interviews?

>>21636692
TA EXPERT LIVES

Teamplayer is codeword for being ok with your hr cunt taking all the credit for your work and being ok with unpaid overtime
They could just ask for cucks straight up

>>21638915
I remember working at a warehouse, standard 9-5 Monday to Friday. Getting less work load over time and then my schedule gets pushed to Mondays to Saturdays and then Monday to Sundays. I spent entire days just cleaning up shelves and fucking around on pallet jacks. Such a waste of time.

>>21633773
>Were looking for pajeets or chinese

>>21640292
>getting paid good money for what sounds like a completely unstressful office job
I work as an “essential worker”, I would trade with you any day. Making $10/hr lifting heavy shit for 4 hours a day and working my ass off physically the rest of the time. My back is fucked up 3 days out of the week.

>>21638271
>>21638509
Hes talking about THIS place
All mods have to be mentally disabled

>>21638255
>pajeets
Outsourcing to pajeets instead of paying fair wage to someone at home is how they became a fortune 500 in the first place.

>>21639554
>8.5 years at the same place
Jesus Christ anon, I don't think I could ever stick to working at the same restaurant/bar for more than 3 years.

>>21640747

>>21632153
>Looking for entry-level accountant
>3 years of work-related accounting experience required

Get a minimum wage job
Work for a year
Dump the 10k into PNK uniswap v1
never have to work again sirs

>>21636170
this

>>21639626
Even more retarded, so like everyone is a Uber or Lyft "employee"? Where you get paid like shit, fired for no reason while they don't have to pay unemployment, ZERO health insurance, vacation days, sick days or any kind of benefits. You'd probably be black listed too. Easy to replace.

>>21640971
this shit literally all the time

>>21632153
Members of diverse groups encouraged to apply

I got paid to make cubes out of spaghetti noodles and marshmallows once. yet another genius team building exercise cooked up by HR

Why is looking for work designed to be humiliating as possible? Why do you have to so a massive song and dance? I can understand for 6/7 figure positions or something, but why do they do all this shit for low tier positions?

>"Now Hiring: Associate Copywriter"
>"Strong English skills a must!"
>The job ad has misspellings and grammatical errors.

>>21632706
Is there no other industry left to start a career besides tech? I've tried coding and it's fucking slavery.

>>21632828
What am I even supposed to say here

>>21638868

>Nobody should have to work 8 hours per day

That's like saying nobody should have to breathe. Your NEET life is only possible because the work that needs to get done to provide you with food, clothing, energy, telecommunications, housing and waste disposal is mostly being done by other people.

Go live a subsistence lifestyle and see if you finish the work you have to do to ensure your survival in 8 hours. See if you can do any of it sitting down too.

>>21641650
>dude work exists so that means the current way work is structured is the only way it can be done
No one is productive for 8 hours a day, every single day, working that long is entirely pointless.

>>21640300

There's unfortunately not a ton of reading material out there. This sounds crazy, but I talk to myself A LOT in the car. Try to have conversations with yourself and practice clear speaking. Cut the ums and ahs. A brief pause builds suspense in conversation vs awkward word filler. And practice practice practice.

You can do it anons. Take it from a 30 year old former NEET.

>>21638623

Internships =/ Free

>>21633057
If you're studying something IT related you should have all these skills (maybe not these specific SQL dialects but you should know at least mysql and postgresql)

>>21641586
"No matter how much I dream of it, I'm unable to destroy Israel."

>>21641768

I agree, that's just not what most people who say that actually mean.

>>21633899
Which is always code for shittty low wage

>>21641821
I wait to say that until after I get hired though

>>21634230
>includes estimated commissions, not everyone will qualify for commissions, pay may vary

>>21641813

I dont know much about anything BUT MySql but the technology and logic is the same. Primary keys and foreign keys.

It's more important to be able to build database diagrams anyways, from there you just google whatever the fuck you need to build.

>>21637542
Yeah when I was waging in April people just said they had the Kung Flu virus from Wuhan China (created in a lab there and released on purpose) just so they could get two weeks paid off work. Pretty fucking based actually.

>>21640292
same, except for going back to the office part. we've been 100% remote since april. they've pushed back the "back to the wage cage" date from jun to july to august to october.

when we go back we'll have to wear a mask, no use of meeting rooms, no use of break rooms or cafeteria, no use of conference rooms. all meetings will be done at our desk over skype. it's retarded. i wish i would be permanently wfh.

>>21640971
it doesn't get any better once you get more experience >>21638624

>>21641922
Yes, you'll be faster if you have experience in the specific dialect but it really doesn't matter that much

>>21632970
Rent seeker

>>21632828
Kek

>please give an example of when you took on multiple jobroles unrelated to your position so Stacy could take a 5 hour break and explain how you recieved no overtime or extra pay?

>>21641586
>The reason this is asked is not really to find out your weaknesses, but to screen candidates capable of introspection and self-improvement.

>>21641470

Well thats why they need it

>>21641586
something minor and then tell how you work on that issue to improve it e.g. i take criticism too hard but i understand that no one is perfect, and that criticism represents an opportunity for improvement. gotta learn to play the wagie game. it's not enough to wageslave for 50 years under the terrible watch of shekelstein, you have to beg for it with a smile on your face.

>>21641362
>>21632153

>were an equal opportunity employer

>>21632153
>>21632637
gotta work that Machiavellian charm

>>21637610
it’s not enough to pretend you like them, they want you to spend your shekels

>you need 4 years and an associate degree or 2 years and a bachelor's degree or just a master's degree
>Starting pay is $14/hour but great benefits!

>>21632153
Software manager here. Sorry, I don't want to hire autists. I don't care if you're "good at your job", humans are social animals and having an environment where people are on good terms, smile and greet each other, joke around, etc. will increase productivity (not to mention, making the 8+ hours of work you have to do everyday bearable). Having an autist who only speaks when spoken to will just bring down people's energy and lower overall productivity. Also, I bet you'll claim you can communicate properly if needed for work purposes, but it doesn't work that way in practice, in my experience. I've had a lot of problems with autists fucking things up because they didn't communicate properly. Give me an extroverted Chad/Stacey with average technical skills any day over a turbo-autist with strong technical skills.

>>21632153
>and any other duties

>>21632649
It’s so that if you quit and had extra vacation days racked up, they don’t have to pay those out in your last paycheck.

>>21640996
based

>>21632153
>PLEASE SUBMIT A COVER LETTER ALONG WITH YOUR APPLICATION

>>21632606
Tbh you have to be a brainlet if you don't know the basics of microsoft ofice

>>21641466
Worst part is nearly every fucking job on indeed requires some of kind of online "assessment" fuckery that takes 40 fucking mins.

>>21643426
What the fuck is the cover letter even supposed to say?

>>21640710
you sound fat and stupid desu

>>21643037
you do realize you're on 4chan right?

>we're looking for someone who hates Jannie's, niggers, and kikes

>>21633990
Huge tits

>>21643545
Dear Job,
I am interested in your job. Here are my skills. Here are why my skills correspond with your job. Here is my experience. Here is why my experience aligns with your job. Once again, I am interested in your job.
Sincerely, a man interested in your job

And then it never gets read, because the algorithm they use to read applications throws yours out

>>21642877
>>21642794
Thanks frens

>>21641586
You should put an actual flaw but not a serious problem.

>enter education
>enter high school
>enter start date active in education
>enter end date active in education
>enter SAT score
>enter GPA
>enter schools address
>enter schools phone number
>”submit”
>ERROR dates must be in mm/dd/yyyy format
>all fields cleared

>>21643569
I sent in 20 resumes including my endorsement printed on a copy of siege please respond

>>21632153
QQQF is a tokenized index that tracks crypto and defi.

https://www.standardcryptofund.com/

https://www.standardcryptofund.com/

>>21632359

>>21643037
It's not just a morale issue. Autists who can't talk to people also invariably write the "one line solutions" that win them prizes on HackerRank or those other shit competitive coding websites. Which other people can't read, including themselves a year down the line. I've never met anyone that writes actual good code that wasn't personable. Weird, yes, but personable.

>>21638868
>I AM SILLY!

>>21632637
that pic is me after studying communications. why.

>>21644017
Even going through this once is soul-crushing enough. The same goes for university applications too.

>>21632772
that’s literally my (now former) best friend who was a bi polar psycho

>>21632835
I was a kitchen assistant a year and a half ago. I got lucky found a place that definitely overpaid me for the job. Dishwashing is literall minimum wage work and I got a few quid more and a full time permanent 40 hour contract they made a mistake on not being temporary. I had no connections to the company, just got lucky applying.

>>21643569
Wtf why he do that?

>>21639224
You get used to the heat pretty quickly though ngl.

>>21632828
>my greatest weakness? ....probably alcohol.

>>21641586
"I take criticism pretty poorly and honestly when I get the wrong impression of people I tend to be really vengeful. I'd say my biggest flaw is how I say things without thinking and it usually hurts me later on."

>>21632889
I agree with that policy

>Software manager here. Sorry, I don't want to hire autists. I don't care if you're "good at your job", humans are social animals and having an environment where people are on good terms, smile and greet each other, joke around, etc. will increase productivity (not to mention, making the 8+ hours of work you have to do everyday bearable). Having an autist who only speaks when spoken to will just bring down people's energy and lower overall productivity. Also, I bet you'll claim you can communicate properly if needed for work purposes, but it doesn't work that way in practice, in my experience. I've had a lot of problems with autists fucking things up because they didn't communicate properly. Give me an extroverted Chad/Stacey with average technical skills any day over a turbo-autist with strong technical skills.

>>21634862
No way, no one would EVER work for free. Right?

>>21636170
>>21636385
>we
>us
>literally
>me

>>21644772
>got a shit degree because it was useful when my grandpa went to college 60 years earlier
>do shit jobs for years after graduating
>try to go back after taking classes non-degree because now I want to get a BS and get into the SPESS tech industry
>"we're sorry but you need to talk to a transfer advisor before we consider your application"

Knowing that universities are bleeding money and students and still making shit a pain in the ass is pretty unfun.

>>21643035
>need several years of experience in very specific role in order to get that specific role
>entry level with shit pay

>>21640971
this peepo looks like ayn rand

>>21645112
"And furthermore I have this deafening rage inside of me and at a certain point I'm not sure I'll be able to contain it. Anyway is this a business casual type deal or can I wear my cargo shorts and sum-41 shirts. You know I'm on that metal shit."

>>21638249
That's how my company is. I'm an engineer who graduated a year ago. Higher ups have made it perfectly clear that they want me to stay for the long haul and work my way up to where I'm making good money. I could see a scenario where I'm making 150k in 20 years but I'm pretty burned out already and I want to leave.
I need to make it so I don't have to wage forever. I will find a way

>>21640971
>you need 150 credits to take the CPA test

Honestly accounting seems like a scam. Paralegalism weirdly seems to be a growth industry, apparently because it's cheaper to hire a paralegal than a lawyer for the same tasks.

>>21632153
The wage cuck meme

>>21645371
"By the way do you guys like System of a down? I have these open ear headphones that play really high quality music and my cubical mate should be okay with it."

>>21645372
Move to an engineering company in Silicon Valley. I'm a first year engineer and I make 120k a year. You get your raises by moving to a different company every 2-3 years.

>>21632791
That's what you get for working at The Olive Garden.

>>21632153
>insurance coverage only 300 a month, full coverage after youve spent 3000 dollars in a year

>>21645518
Kek, I make 60k here. I find that's more than enough money for me in the Midwest, and that's kind of killing my desire to perform at work. We're getting raises next week and I really don't give a shit about a percent or 2.

>>21636170
pretty much this

>>21637915
pls tell me how to be like u

>>21643037
Fuck you, I hope a beta shoots you in the street.

>>21632806
we can be frens then

>>21639626
Retarded

>>21645161
>having an environment where people are on good terms, smile and greet each other, joke around, etc. will increase productivity
i wish managers/hr would think like this

>>21647983
Why are there so many newfag saying fren suddenly?

>>21641586
mental illness. then when they don't hire you hit them with a lawsuit

>>21638931
>>21640001
Wtf? I thought IT was my ticket to easy street? Is it really this bad? I just want a comfy 60-70k.

>>21633180
This Pepe is the best Pepe. 10/10

All I want is to start my own fuuuucking business but it is too early

>>21645161
This, we have an autist as a diversity hire.
- Always try to impress that he knows every capital in the world
- Always ruin a fun moment by trying to make a joke that is not funny or starts rambling a sad story when everyone is happy.
- Always complain like a child about stuff
- Barely delivering any work, most with shitty quality.

The weird part is he thinks he is so smart but it really isn't showing in anything. Maybe it's some sort of coping mechanism.

>>21648131
I graduated with a Management Information Systems degree, and got promoted to Network Engineer.

I’m 21, and make 50k per year and live in a “medium range” cost of living area. It’s possible, just hard. BTW I had no connections, just interviewed with confidence and got the job.

>>21639803
Because gold.
Buy gold.
Crypto is a scam.
Buy gold.

>>21644017
Only Satan could invent such a thing

>>21636170
chchchcheck Anonymous DScUUHbU. so much this.

>>21648574
>Management Information Systems
Did you just make this up?

>>21632835
just do it.
the whole trick to getting a job is to skip all the formal filter shit, and just directly say to the boss/ you want to work, and work.
gauge what is expected of you, and learn your duty and complete your tasks/missions.

when i am not working. i am an autistic vegetable neet. i can sit at pc for decades np.
i used to wonder if i was retarded or had mental problems, maybe i need a drug?
type thinking.

but all i had to do to fix that, was wage.
mentally/physically, simply having some sense of purpose, even if small. was fulfilling to varying degrees.

keep studying biz too.
someday biz will tell you a new great invest..
and you will know in your heart.

save your money washing dishes.
cause some day, you washing dishes for minimum wage. will turn into you washing dishes for $1,000 per hour.

and it is not unlikely.
it is garunteed.

>>21643623
That sounds like my entire resume...
I really don’t understand this whole wage slave thing, and I did it for 6 years at 3 different jobs...

Can I get government money for the Tism??
Not just because I’m incapable, I don’t want to be a burden when they could hire a real wagie who will stay and kiss their ass for 45 years.

>>21632592
HA, I made generous use of our policy and suddenly the handbook and job postings have changed from unlimited to (((generous)))

>>21644916
Marcel?

>>21645161
I'm an autist with no skills other than schizo creativity.
How fucked am I?

>>21649578
The fact that you type with such shit spelling makes me weary of your advice

>>21641586
long legs

>>21632772
When do I start?

>>21649186
Unfortunately no. Haha. I went to community college, then a local university for accounting. SAID, fuck that, and changed to MIS.

It’s basically a retarded degree. But college is such a fucking meme. Like if you don’t know how to think for yourself you will stay poor.

Still my degree only cost a total of like $18,000 for all 4 years, and I make $50,000 to start, and the more technical skills I learn the more I can make.

So it was worth it for me. But, I graduated this May, only 4 out of 65 students in my graduating class, got offered “real jobs” I was one of those 4.

>>21649661
Fking kek

>>21634161
Don't forget niggers and jannies, and god speed