/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>20206264
I’m not. I manage a few servers for 6 digits doing barely any work. Gonna keep this shit as long as I can while continuing to accumulate stocks.

>>20206264
ever heard of fuck you money? it's money that allows you to do things like tell your boss and coworkers to fuck themselves, then walk out office-space style.

Donate blood and get a small pack to take home. go into work with the pack up my ass, in the middle of the day open the pack, clench so it all comes shooting out and yell really loud while running out of the building with real blood shooting out of your asshole. get in your car and drive away while screaming. never contact them again.

I work at a warehouse so I would do all the shit we're not allowed to do and get fired spectacularly
like taking a ride on this thing

>>20206264
Writing an email thanking him for firing me 4 years before that which led me to personal happiness and crypto gains

>>20206312
cringe
>>20207125
based

>>20206264
My boss got me into investing. He might tell everyone else to fuck off soon since he was an early TSLA investor kek.

I would just keep it to myself and put in a two weeks notice. That way I can plan out what to do with my life and fuck off at work so that everyone hates me before I leave.

>>20207336
I bet the guy who clears the jams every day would tell you to knock your socks off

>>20206264
Respond to every one of his texts during work hours with "I guess" until they fire me. Kek

>>20206303
Could I fake my way into being a server administrator and just google how to do shit when I actually need to do work?

>>20207773
kek

im a neet lmao wagie KEKS

>>20206264
I'll probably just stop showing up. Either that or make them fire me, idk yet.

>>20207803
You typically need certifications for that job, not sure how difficult the exams are. I'm pretty sure most of them are online

I would call the guy we nicknamed “fat pussy” fatpussy to his face face.

>>20207125
redpilled

>>20206312
Unfortunately i'm loyal AF, my boss gave me a job when I was down and out in life, I love all my co-workers, and i'm the only graphic design/marketing guy in the company, if I walked away they'd be up shit creek. I'd probably have to give them 6 months to hire someone and get them up to speed before I ever left.

>>20207902
thats great I love the behind their back nick names people get, sometimes theyre so fucking funny
everyone is probably referring to this poor sap as fat pussy and he has no clue

>>20207938
if your job feels comfy to you, you are not a wage cuck.

>>20207125
based

Got married recently -- wife and I didn't live in the same city.

A week later, I got laid off, when my account was up 300%. I had planned on quitting to finally move with my wife later on in the year anyway. Got a 3 month severance. I said nothing and accepted it. Wife and I plan on living in another country.

Couple months later, my manager contacted me, asking if I needed a reference -- he was aware that I planned on quitting at some point, but didn't know when, and I hid the fact that I married and planning on moving.

I don't think he was very happy finding out that I planned on quitting anyway.

>>20208018
Moral of the story: get laid off if you can.

>>20207125
Based

>>20207967
Let me redpill you on fat pussy
>fat as fuck but always brags about working out (used to be even fatter constantly shows us pics of him from 4/5 years ago but somehow hasn’t lost weight since he’s worked here)
>In the bosses offices every morning talking about the Bible and fishing
>told on me for commenting on the secretary’s fat tits
>always tells on everybody with the preface “I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble but.... precedes to rat on everyone
>tried to snake me out of my position
>talks shit about everyone else and calls other people suck ups
>brings his fat ugly wife to lunch when we go out somewhere... wtf no one else brings their wife
>tries to bant with the guys but when someone does it bask to him he literally pouts
>brings a bible in too work and sits in the middle of the smoking section when we’re trying to talk shit and drink coffee
>lectures other Christians about the Bible
>wears clothes that are way too tight and always tucks in his shirt when nobody else does. This really shows off his Gunt so that’s where the name fat pussy comes from. He literally has a fat pussy.
I’m really not a mean guy at all. As a kid I had acne and was overweight and grew into my looks around 19. I wouldn’t usually make fun of someone for their appearance but this dude is such a shit I literally can’t help myself. I hate him so much.

I left the corporate world to bum around Asian and """teach""" English. No regrets.
After the pandemic I'm joining a new Chinese firm in a strategic sales role. Life presents opportunities if you break away from the daily routine.

Once my investments mature, or I get tired of the office life again, I'm moving to Cambodia to marry a wholesome local girl, and opening a small cafe/bar. I'll sell $3 lattes in the morning and $.50 Angkors at night. I'll wake up early everyday to send my children to school, and take them to the temple on the weekends.

>>20206264
*Gathers everyone in a circle*

AHEM
AHEM

FUCK NIGGERS
FUCK KIKES
FUCK SANDNIGGERS
FUCK BEANERS
FUCK CHINKS
FUCK PAJEETS
FUCK WAGIES
AND FUCK YOU BOSS AND DONE.

*Crowd roars with aplause*

>>20208343
Based

>>20206264
I'm going to order a few dozen quail eggs and spell out "bye" with the eggs

>>20209014
fake and gay

>>20207125
based on the baseline

>>20206312
Ewww. Get out.

>>20206264
I'm going to buy her a $10 starbucks gift card.

>>20207125
audible kek

Shit my pants until they notice the stench and have to be escorted out

>>20209512
so you smell just like any other day?

>>20206312
Go back.

>>20207871
This. Why even bother making a deal of it, it isn't worth the effort.

I figure I will be in a meeting or something, bored as always and checking my stacks. Oh lawd, it is the moonaloo and I've made it! I'll stand up, leave all my shit right where it is, and just leave.
After a while people will figure out I am not coming back to the meeting. The project manager will probably say something like
>well he has an action item due by the 15th I hope he is on track.
Bro sorry to say but that action item isn't going to get done by the 15th. It might never get done IDGAF I am not answering texts or emails or calls. They can mail my last check to my empty apartment my ass is gone bro, no forwarding address no contact info no fucking nothing. Gone without a trace.

>>20206264
I am gonna coooooooooooooooooooooooooooomm so hard in his face

>>20207938

Based and friendpilled. Guy I used to work with, who was irreplaceable, retired earlier than expected. He hired and trained his replacement, then retired.

>>20206303

What degree did you need for that?

>>20207336
Imagine losing a toe on the day u made it. Lol.

I won’t. I’m gonna keep working because I like my job and it gives me something to do. I just quietly acquire capital in the background.

>>20210408
actual cringe, ngmi

>>20206264
Somehow I got lucky and found a new job right as coronavirus shit hit the fan. The firm I'm at has been nothing but good to me so far, and my boss is a chill dude. The last firm I'm at was run by the scummiest husband and wife lowlifes I've ever met in my entire life, like something out of a silly TV show. They were scum of the earth. New job is paradise in comparison.

Don't want to speak too soon because I've only been at my new job for ~3-4 months, but sometimes you just get lucky. I probably wouldn't even tell my boss at all, I'd just get my affairs in order and plan on retiring early.

>>20208343
forgot to fuck jannies

>>20206264
>monday morning rolls around
>no call no show, dont answer phone
>tuesday
>same
>wednesday
>coworkers start to wonder if something bad happened to me. reach out to emergency contacts, send police by my (now vacant) house
>TH/FR
>well i guess its time to look for another professional cock gobbler

>next monday
>pull up in the front handicap spot in my new cherry red lambo
>step out on the burning pavement with my slick new testoni's on
>go through the front door and slightly adjust (to attract the eye) my perfectly fit dormeuil vanquish
>walked back past my former life as i feel heads turning as the glare from my slicked back hair grabs their attention.
>as i pass my former bosses office he looks up from his computer screen just intime to catch me doing pick related as the patek philippe on my wrist leaves him speechless
>he follows me in silence as i go to get the only personal possessions i left at work; the peanut butter and bread i keep in my locker
>i flip him a double eagle and tell him "dont spend it all in one place"
>as i walk back to the door a crowd has now amassed trying to figure out whats going on
>with one hand pressed on the door to leave and never be heard from again; i turn slightly to the side, tilt my glasses down and give a wink as i say "stay stinkie"

>>20208343
What if they promote you after this?

I would use all my EIT by saying i have rona then i would use up all remaining PTO for the duration of my 2 weeks notice.

Move back in with mom and dad, use unemployment funds to go all in on link after being let go incompetence and your employers (((reduction in service))) use as much free money as you can to buy link. Wait a year or two and still don’t sell. Then you’re set to stay home all day refreshing biz while cooming to horse porn in between.

>>20207125

>>20208343
YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH GO ANON!!!!

>>20206264
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpwesfKJ1AI

>>20208208
>Chinese firm
Imagine making it while working for communist bugs

>>20208174
That sounds like three different characters at my job in one

>>20206264
By telling them I invested in 2 beautiful projects

>>20206264
Put in my 2 week notice, be respectful and thank him/her for the opportunity and the experience, then work the remaining 2 weeks of my shift to make it easier for my boss to replace me.

>>20212533
Then take a shit on his table or something?

I won't considering I just got laid off.

do this: https://youtu.be/a5eGNqajqnM

>>20206312
Don’t burn bridges even if you don’t think it matters. Word gets around in the most fascinating of ways.

>>20207125
>Donate blood and get a small pack to take home. go into work with the pack up my ass, in the middle of the day open the pack, clench so it all comes shooting out and yell really loud while running out of the building with real blood shooting out of your asshole. get in your car and drive away while screaming. never contact them again.

This is why I stay here

>>20206312
no one follow this guy. when you leave your job after making it with crypto/stocks, do the following:

1. be courteous and kind
2. your coworkers will bombard you with questions on how you did it, explain nicely especially to those people you told about crypto beforehand but they were too into consumerism
3. definitely give them at least one month notice
4. at the end of the day, they will still be paying you money so it's extra in your pocket
5. also you'd want to cash out that vacation time

>>20210144
i can see it if you hate your job, but if you're respected and you like your coworkers, why wouldn't you just give notice? be humble because it can be taken away at anytime

>>20207125
Fucking kek

>>20212070
The woman are great in the sack, the cities are fun and the traveling is unrivaled. America is too uptight, and boring.

>>20207125
lol

They say you can take a shit on your boss's desk and then leave.

>>20206264
I would mostly like keep me job so I have a sense of normality and so I won't do stupid shit like blow through my savings

I have a grand plan I thought of pretty much lm going to get my gf to apply for a job on my floor and she'll work there for a few months but nobody will know she's my gf

My boss is my dad... so I’ll tell him to go fist himself then slap the cunt before walking out.
Next family dinner night will be awkward

>>20213290
>>20213372
based

>>20206264
Be respectful and thank him for giving me the opportunity when no one else would. I would probably still keep working and learning more about my industry (fuel). I never like to burn a bridge because life can take an unexpected turn at any second. But I would definitely sleep more soundly at night knowing that I'm covered if it all goes to shit.

Making a show is a security risk. You put in your two weeks because you’re going to go back to study or drive Uber or take care of your dying tadpoles. Then you leave taking your vacation time maybe casually discussing how uncertain the future is.

>>20210947
Based

>>20210947
kek

>>20212947
>Calling your girlfriend The woman
>Muh big city fun
>America bad
>Reddit spacing in first post

>>20208174
I would be his fren

>>20206303
Hope you got FUND too otherwise good luck once hyperinflation comes along

At my last day of education. I want to go to the office and wanna ,,say asshole do your shit self, with the foot on the table‘‘!