/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>20131477
that is a man

There are some other crypto credit cards out there. Find assets to buy that accept crypto

Isn’t this why Monero was invented?

or you could just fucking accept the fact ur married and split the assets 50/50

>>20131486
If thats a man, i want to fuck him even more.

>>20131504
most crypto credit cards ive seen require kyc
>>20131534
she will still get a fair bit from me out of this. but I've worked 70-85 hour work weeks for the past 6 years and she didn't work, clean, or even cook the whole time.

>>20131573
meant to include some more lana as well

Ledger Nano S

>>20131477
I cash out through Abra in the rare event I ever do. It works well enough.

>>20131477
all in gold bullion/monero on cc's, claim gambling addiction. keep gold buried like a pirate, keep us updated.

>>20131649
Truly, a thing of beauty. Give her 30 eth? How about give her 0 eth? They can’t confiscate it.

>>20131760
I dont want anyone to even get suspicious and dig further into coinbase and see that I've been sending money to other ether wallets. or am I being paranoid?

>>20131486
nice try schlomo

>>20131477
cant you send it to an eth address from coinbase, then sent it to something like https://tornado.cash/ to transfer all funds to a brand new wallet

>>20131855
What does she know about your crypto? Depending on her knowledge, I’d say I had a tiny amount. Keep a small amount on coinbase and if she pries further, say you lost it on an old wallet you forgot the seed phrase to. But honestly I say fuck that bitch, hide your money. The 50/50 split in divorce court is fucking bullshit. 9/10 times the woman has contributed fuck all and makes off like a bandit.

>>20131971
the court will have us present all the relevant information like my bank states that show me shoveling cash into coinbase

>>20132031
So just say it depreciated in value maybe? Coinbase transfers just show USD value. Not what you bought. You could just say it depreciated or your blew ETH on gambling.

>>20132031
This will get you mogged especially if transfers are recent.

>>20131573
>she will still get a fair bit from me out of this. but I've worked 70-85 hour work weeks for the past 6 years and she didn't work, clean, or even cook the whole time.
This is literally your fault, not hers

>or you could just fucking accept the fact ur married and split the assets 50/50

Put it all on a hardware wallet and say it became corrupt.

>>20131477
you need to sell your car to your friend for $100 and ask him the money back after the divorce, shit like that

>>20131477
how old are you

>>20132598
kek. maybe

>>20132674
28

>>20131573

>wife didn't have a job and didn't homemake

How do people end up doing this? I genuinely don't understand. It's one thing if a woman doesn't have a job -- if you have kids or something I can understand that. But not doing anything? Did she have a hobby or potential career she was pursuing or was she literally just chilling every day?

>>20131477
Why are you getting divorced? Any children involved? Was she sucking off trayvon and Jamal while you were slaving away at the Jew dick?

>>20132722
what age did you get married?

>>20132744
literal gaming neet. logged 1000s of hours. there is 1 kid that she paid the bare minimum of attention to.
>>20132785
I believe I was 21 or 22

>>20131573
did she stop fucking you too? were you a /pol/fag falling for the trad wife meme?

>>20132744
I don’t get it either. I was unemployed for a bit at an earlier point in life and I was losing my fucking mind towards the ends of it. I got so bored I was mowing every day and doing other random shit outside. I was able to sit on my ass when I was in high school and play games for 6+ hours at a time. I feel like an asshole who should be doing more productive shit if I try to do that now.

>>20132860
so 6 or 7 years married and you have to split all your shit 50/50? wtf. i feel like that is barely enough time

>>20132892
sex was pretty steady actually. made it easier to stay with her
>>20132947
if it was earned while married, yes

>>20131701
if you loose money at the casino.

you're supposed to deduct it on your taxes.

so how does that work?

>>20131855
she'll hire a forensic accountant.
Those guys know to look on transparent blockchains.
kekbase works with investigators.

Like someone else said... monero

>>20133122
In Minecraft, how does one move $$ into XMR without going through any sort of KYC process? A manner in which a forensic accountant would be powerless?

>>20133221
Can't you just run shit through a Tumblr and claim hacks or lost keys?

>>20132744
My wife is similar. I just moved out. She always got sensitive when the topic of financially successful / career women came up during our 10 years together and last week finally just admitted her fantasy life is literally sitting on the couch collecting welfare. Has no aspirations. I didn't even acknowledge she said that out loud because we have 2 kids together. Imagine the role model she is. I was job hunting 5 years ago and within 1 month I was losing my mind, building popsicle stick houses out of sheer boredom and desperation for something to do. Thank Christ I got a job offer a few days later.

Does she know you were into crypto? I would keep a small wallet with a few hundred dollars worth in it just in case it gets brought up. Thousands of dollars of physical gold can fit into the palm of your hand if you wanted a backup plan.

man, as someone pursuing his oneitis everyday, i have no idea how any anons want to get divorce desu. Grass is greener on the other side of course, but I cant even imagine life without talking and living with her everyday.
Do people when they get marry only care about if their spouse is working? What about the mere joy of them being alive and seeing them every day.....

grass is greener on other side though.

>>20133416
How are you so fucking naive? Do you really think women are these selfless goddesses of love and comfort?

>>20133443
i just like being around my oneitis. i wouldnt give it up for the world. its like being around my waifu in anime. i cant leave her no matter what. i feel nauseous at the thought of looking at any other girl sexually.

>>20133416
half of the issue was outright neglect for me and my child

>>20131477
the following post is hypothetical in nature.

you could put your 30 ETH back into cuckbase. then you could use a VPN to join an exchange such as binance. no KYC. just slowly exchange ETH to XMR or BTC. slowly withdraw to a new wallet. then use Bisq to slowly sell crypto if you need the money. otherwise, once the divorce is over and you are making money again. you could buy some small amounts of any coin on a KYC exchange. then cash out of everything at the end of the next bull run (you've got at least two years to make some legit transactions before the bubble pops) and pay your taxes and no one should be the wiser.

>>20133467
i can see why. i get pretty sad on days i dont talk to my oneitis. But if i was ever married, i dont think i could leave her over anything. Being in the same house would make me happiest anon ever

but grass is greener. I just think its interesting that we are on the complete opposite spectrum.

>>20131477
I wouldn’t touch anything until the divorce is finalized. Jew lawyers will be looking through every single transaction, hopefully you didn’t send any fiat funds to crypto exchanges recently.

>>20131477
legally in community property states in the US the only thing you can do is spend the assets on groceries, rent, and utilities. you can also run up credit card debt for the same purposes.

the courts and lawyers have literally seen every possible method of hiding or 'losing' assets and every state has laws that will rape you for getting caught.

>>20133443
>>20133416
>Oneitis
Has to be a virgin...that's the only explanation to me

>>20133533
>buy ~30.035blah blah eth
>bring that exact number to coinbase
>sell that exact same number and put it in the bank to be split equitably
would there be a reason to look closer at coinbase if its (to their knowledge) completely cashed out

>>20133566
>virgin
i made sure to have sex with at least 10 different girls cause i didnt want to be one of those guys that marries their first kiss. Now, i never want to have sex with anyone but my oneitis again. Im not even fapping anymore. I literally feel no sexual attraction to anyone but my oneitis.

>>20133573
>would there be a reason to look closer at coinbase if its (to their knowledge) completely cashed out
they would probably find it strange that your speculative investment didn't go up or down. It wouldn't take a lot of searching to see the numbers don't add up.

>>20133605
it would be based on the eth amount. not cash. it would be a higher cash amount than what I paid as well. this was all purchased early in the year before I thought this would be happening

>>20133636
did you previously say that you've been dumping cash into the bag?

I mean they're going to look at your bank records and probably your credit cards and such.

honestly I'm not sure why you're worried about it. If it's a large amount of money hire a lawyer to help you keep it. If it's not a large amount of money let it go. Either way your kid should be your bigger concern, not hiding your bag of crypto. Screw up on the child support negotiations and you're going to lose hundreds of thousands of dollars over the next 16 years anyways.

Hire a lawyer. Best advice I can give anyone getting divorced. If you can't afford a lawyer apply for legal aid from the state.

>>20133327
Bruh, I hope you didn't actually move out, your custody battle just got a whole lot harder.

>>20133673
>your custody battle just got a whole lot harder.
I learned that lesson the hard way.

>>20133673
Now she is going to get custody and you are going to pay for it while she bleeds you dry and some other asshole will be fucking her and raising your kids.

>convert eth to btc
>send to bitcoin casino
gamble a small portion so the total changes
>withdraw a few days later to 3-5 fresh addresses
>exchange to monero using xmr.to or bisq
"S-sorry, I saw the writing on the wall and martingaled myself into bankruptcy and subsequently lost the password to my account."

>>20133735
>"S-sorry, I saw the writing on the wall and martingaled myself into bankruptcy and subsequently lost the password to my account."
yeah, they have laws that cover that.

you wind up owing the share of the assets you 'lost.' Also possible prison time if you're particularly dumb. OP is asking strangers on the internet how to commit felony fraud, he's not bright enough to get away with it.

his wife will do this with him if she finds out

>>20133760
Yeah, this guy is a dipshit, if he gets caught hiding assets he will get completely buttfucked. He is probably stupid enough to not already have an attorney, a good one would describe the rules of the game to him, but instead he is asking a bunch of moonboys and Indians for advise

>>20133775
Muscle Fuck Femdomempire Ashlee Chambers

Why can't OP just set his parents or close family member up with an ETH address and just transfer all the funds to them? If the courts ask just say that he owed them money and is just paying them back. Or will the courts try to say that his wife is entitled to half of the money that he gifted away

>>20133822
>will the courts try to say that his wife is entitled to half of the money that he gifted away
yeah, they can reverse illegal transactions but more likely they'll let the family keep the asset, bill OP for the amount he gave away, and perhaps put him in jail.

>>20133802
>a good one would describe the rules of the game to him,
exactly.

divorce is weird, you really need a lawyer what you can and can't get away with.

>>20133820
>Muscle Fuck Femdomempire Ashlee Chambers

you are my hero, been looking for who she is!! thanks a lot anon!

>>20131477
monero + localbitcoins + fake id

>>20131701
BASED

Settle the divorce before trial. Hopefully her lawyer is a boomer who doesn’t know about crypto and they don’t fight hard to split it in the settlement.