/biz/ - Business & Finance

welcome to your new life

>>19714507
Welcome to hell OP

>>19714649
>>19714516
Can you lads give me a quick rundown?

>>19714665
your co workers are not your friends, dont tell them anything personal, get up to date with sports and talk about it all day.

>>19714507
been waging for 9 months now; it's soul draining. Got £12k shekels saved up to show for it

>>19714698
You really can't ask a coworker to meetup after work? Or are you "that guy" then?

Congrats anon! Just make sure you sign up for the 401k so that you're set for life when you turn 65

>>19714665
What >>19714698 said. Your coworkers are in direct competition with you for promotions. Don't reveal your power level to them act as normal as possible and befriend your managers, if you don't you aren't getting promoted.

>>19714665
Just conform to NPC thinking (progressivism) and never, never, never, never, never tell them about your power level.
Don't be a sperg and be professional, don't give them reasons to persecute you, do not talk about imageboards and do not use them while working.

>>19714714
you can and it might work out great but it wont persist

Heres my advice
Dont ask biz or any of 4chan for advice on anything in real life.
Everyone here is so out of touch with reality and jaded its not even funny.
Just be yourself.

>>19714507
not if you anhero tonight bud :)

>>19714714
You have to meet with them after work if you don't wanna be that weird guy. It's basically a necessity if you wanna advance in your career.
Just pretend to be friends with them but never reveal anything potentially damaging about yourself.

Trust me, i've read about a lot of people ruining their life for talking about imageboard stuff to NPC.

>>19714830
It will be odd when they notice you don't share anything personal

>>19714854
If everyone is sharing personal stuff you have to do it as well, just make up a lie or something that can't be verified by them.
Or share real stuff if you are a normalfag.

>>19714507
What will you be doing?

In general, everyone has a different personality at work.
You're nicer, more polite, watch what you say, etc.
Get some garbage normie hobby on the weekends to talk about when tards ask you what you did
If you do drugs, you do not mention this
If you drink alcohol, you say it's only when you're not working the next day

>>19714714
>befriend NPC co-workers
I would rather shitpost on /biz/ than got to the bar with my beta NPC co-workers(unless there is a clear benefit, plus I don't go out of my way to drink). My managers love me and always vouch for me, but I would fuck them over in a heartbeat if it had benefited me. I was already invited to apply for a promotion that i'm not qualified for, and my manager who's been there for over 2.5 years with a worthless geology degree and student debt is seething.

>>19714665
just show up on time, work hard and only call out if you’re literally too sick to work

be nice to everyone - you’re there to make money. i will be fake nice and conversational with people i really don’t like just because you never know what role they may be in in the future

>>19714915
I'll be doing electrical engineering.
Noted, I'll just tell them I do strength training in the weekends.

>>19714994
Oh yeah don't swear
that's one of the few things that'll get you in HR if someone takes offense

Basically treat it like you're back in high school but don't need permission for everything and see how the culture is

>>19714994
If you've never had a girlfriend you better make an imaginary one and repeat the lie until you believe it so you don't stutter when they ask.

>>19714983
>only call out if you’re literally too sick to work

This. You may be able to get away with one fake call off about once a year or so but everyone always notes when you take time and if you take too much you become "that guy". Also if anyone says "I'm getting fat" never agree with them. I went through 3 very unpleasant months for being too autisticly honest.

Story time?

>>19714507

Thanks for keeping the machine of society running OP.
also this >>19714698 is very important, never i repeat never tell anything about yourself.
Never tell you into crypto or stonks.
Just figure out what they like e.g fotball etc

>>19714507
Look on the bright side - you can retire after 40 years.

t. wagie for past 25 years

>>19714854
It’s called knowing how to tall, you tell them half truths or lie. I’m personally able to make NPC’s yap about themselves for the entire conversation. They love it and they love me. I hate them.

>>19714665
Wagie simulator: https://pippinbarr.github.io/itisasifyouweredoingwork/
Wagie budgeting: https://www.mint.com/
Calculating your wagie sentence: https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-simple-math-behind-early-retirement/
Reducing your wagie sentence: https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started

F

>>19714507
Its all downhill from here

>>19715043
This is very important.

>>19715043
>>19717135
Alternatively talk very vaguely about your female High school best friend as if she was your ex gf and as if it all happened later and was a serious relationship. That way you have a persona to build your story around.

If they inquire further just say you don't want to talk about her anymore.

>>19716750
Based post fren

>>19714698

One of my female coworkers turned out to be an 18 year old cute racist and it really surprised me. We had a few nice trainrides back home. Sadly she moved to another country.

>>19715183

>be..... me
>europoor intern at big corp
>wage it, mind my business
>majority coworkers female as position is not really high
>lots of older women staring me down, feeling my muscles
>mfw getting molested daily but i kinda like it
>There were these french intern sluts at my department. Three terrible, insatiable, minxes. True hunters of men
>one was fat, another had nice eyes but bad skin, and another, the alpha of the pack, you knew was just a nympho
>male colleague was sex addicted so he tried to bang on every woman in the office.
>he bangs one of the minxes, those french devil-women, but dont tell me which one
>casually informs me that they are talking about me. How they like that i dont try to get into their pants.
>have a (now ex)gf so ofcourse i dont go chasing 6/10 used sluts
>coworker tells me one of them wants to "fuck my brains out"
>skip a few weeks
>coworker is "working from home", but actually fucking one of those french whores. He also has a gf but he dont care.
>coworkers asks me via work chat if im interested in a DP session with the french girl. Apparently she asked him to ask me that very moment.
>tfw i dont even know which fucking whore it is
>politely refuse and continue my mundane work day
>next day coworker and french sluts act like nothing happened
>tfw finished internship like a good goy

>>19717435

>>19717435
Nice job anon, don't be a slave to your carnal desires

>>19714854
I don't know where you work, but not only does conversation have to be impersonal, you have to stick to the script. Tomorrow I will be asked about my weekend. It will have been "great" even though everything is fucking closed. I have tried deviation from the script before and it was a bad idea. Everyone must be an NPC at work. It's like a tacit agreement.

>>19714507
>is neet all his life
>picks the worst time possible in recent history to start working
Don't get sick anon

>>19714507
Depending on your job, you'll be fine. Tradework is great cause I can call people faggots and be completely honest. Really cleanses the soul.

>>19718377
This and checked

>>19717435

man my job is full of fat stinking avg Hans and Uglyy bitch ass lesbian feminist short hair antifa shit here in germany electric maintenance.. FCK THIS

>>19714507
Better be putting 10% of those checks into stonks

>>19714507
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QAVquq9bNs