/biz/ - Business & Finance

schlmo's your god
now get in the pod

>>19602220
>award winning

what was competition here? which design is the most dehumanizing? fuck this gay earth
t. future poddie

>>19602253
DONT FORGET YOUR VR GAGGLES AND NOICE CANCELLING HEADPHONES. COMPLETE SENSORY DE-PODATION IS YOUR ONLY FUTURE. MUSH WAGIE MUSH SHEKELSTIEN NEEDS A NEW YACHT

>>19602220
>Satanic Chainlink shape
>big glass windows ensuring you can be monitored at all times
>noisy fans circulating air above your head
>have to crouch to enter cramped pod, cannot stand while inside
And the award for best office wage cage goes to....

>>19602220
I really doubt that shitty hvac solution has any kind of proper filtering or ventilation, the wagies will get gassed with their own CO2 and some covid-air

Decline terminal

>hardworking white people, get in your cuck pod
>as for your rioting niggers and degenerates, you're heckin good gois, mob away

>>19602220
>pension pod
Its even got a hexagonal shape, like a honeycomb. You're a literal worker bee.

>Meisenzahl

Design and architecture have been completely co-opted by evil kikes

>Wage Cage
Wage Slave
>Dirt
Worm
>Interlinked
Interlinked

>Misery
Happiness
>Tedious
Exciting
>Interlinked
Interlinked

>>19602253
I'm shooting up a workplace.

>>19602220
>Mary Meisenzahl
Is that Jewish?

>>19602526
take me out will ya? i dont have the balls to do it myself but its best for all of us

>>19602220
>it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

>>19602628
kek

>>19602526

They're gonna make those pods bullet proof.

>>19602438
>HEY ANON! WELCOME TO WAGIEWORKS
>MY NAME IS BUZZ I'LL BE YOUR ORIENTATION GUIDE
>NOW BEFORE WE BEGIN, PUT THIS COSTUME ON. IT'S IMPORTANT TO MANAGEMENT THAT WE REALLY EMBODY THE SPIRIT OF A WORKER BEE.
>DEDICATED TO CREATING A GREAT PRODUCT, WE WORK TIRELESSLY TO ACHIEVE COMPANY GOALS.
>HERE'S YOUR POD. THERE'S A URINAL IN THE SIDE, JUST PRESS THE YELLOW BUTTON WHEN IT GETS FULL AND BUTCH WILL COME REPLACE IT FOR YOU.
>THERE'S ALSO A COMPARTMENT FOR DUMP DIAPERS. THAT'S WHAT YOU USE FOR NUMBER TWO. WE DON'T HAVE BATHROOMS HERE. PRESS THE BROWN BUTTON TO PAGE BUTCH WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF DIAPERS.
>DON'T WORRY ABOUT STINKING UP YOUR WORKSTATION. THE GENIUS VENTILATION SYSTEM SHOOTS IT RIGHT OUT OF YOUR POD!
>Buzz walks you around the pods that wagies are working in
>YOU KNOW ANON, I REALLY THINK YOU'LL LIKE WORKING HERE
>wagie inside the pod you're in front of is peeing in his urinal while holding his nose
>wagie starts gagging
>wagie vomits all over the wall and floor
>UHH COME ON ANON LET'S GO MEET YOUR MANAGER. NOW HOW ABOUT THAT WEATHER HUH??

>>19602220
Seems pretty comfy to me..
Can normies please leave

>>19602669

>>19602704
Agreed. A lot of people prefer pure solitude for work. Myself included.

>>19602457
>>19602534
You are learning well frens.

>>19602766
>solitude
lmao. and what grade plastic do you think this shits gonna be made of? thas right. Binbag-grade. You'll feel every keyclick, fart and snore, like you were right next to it. Because, you will bee

>>19602669
I can’t breathe

>>19602669
>>19602724
>walk with Buzz to a slightly larger pod
>NOW MARIA-LAQUEESHA-JOHNSON WILL BE YOUR MANAGER. BE SURE TO CALL HER BY HER FULL NAME, I KNOW IT'S EXHAUSTING, BUT SHE GETS KINDA GRUMPY IF YOU DON'T
>open door and see pic related get up from her desk covered in pictures of nigger children
>she speaks to you
>OH HEY ANON, MY NAME IS MARIA-LAQUEESHA-JOHNSON, NICE TO MEET YOU!
>NOW, FIRST THINGS FIRST. YOU LOOK UH-MA-ZING IN THAT BEE COSTUME!
>SECONDLY, AT LUNCH TODAY WE'RE GOING TO PLAY TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, SO BE SURE YOU COME UP WITH SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF TO ENTERTAIN US!
>AND LASTLY, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE HIRED YOU BECAUSE WE WORK REALLY HARD. REALLY FUCKING HARD. WE GET SHIT DONE, AND THAT'S WHAT WE LIKED ABOUT YOU, ANON.
>she gives a shit eating grin
>as door closes, Buzz starts talking again
>ISN'T SHE LOVELY? JUST SO YOU KNOW, DONT PICK ANY FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF THAT INVOLVE EATING MEAT. SHE LOVES ANIMALS.

>>19602220
>>19602388
everyone knows blue hexagon = $$$$

>>19602669

>>19602220
Better than open plan bull pens, work would be a lot easier without a bunch of niggers polluting my surroundings

>>19603027
>>19602986
>>19602724
>>19602669
>NOW LET'S HAVE YOU MEET THE CEO REAL QUICK. I SENT HIM A GOOGLE INVITE THIS TIME, SO HOPEFULLY HE'S READY TO SEE YOU.
>walk up to a regular fucking office door
>no windows, but a piece of paper taped to it that reads "don't fucking come in unless you're ready to be fired"
>Buzz opens the door, immediately you can see the lights are off and you can hear clapping and moaning while he searches for the light switch
>Buzz flips the light switch, you both see pic related
>CEO throws the woman on his desk and yells at Buzz
>BITCH I FUCKING TOLD YOU I'M BUSY AT THIS HOUR. I DONT READ MY FUCKING EMAILS YOU UNDERSTAND??
>literally throws a book at Buzz's head
>Buzz rubs his head and starts to talk, weakly
>UMM YEA SO I SENT YOU AN INVITE SORRY BUT HERE'S YOUR NEWEST EMPLOYEE: ANON!
>CEO, still naked with a 7 inch erect uncut penis with visible sores on the shaft and head, walks up to you and says this
>LISTEN HERE PUNKASS BITCH. YOU FUCKING GET YOUR SHIT DONE ON TIME AND DON'T LEAVE UNTIL IT'S PERFECT. I DON'T TOLERATE BULLSHIT. IF YOU EVER TRY TO LEAVE THE OFFICE BEFORE ME, START LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB. GOT IT? NOW...
>his dick starts to visibly tremble
>SCRAM!
>as he yells this his yellowish white ejaculate catapults from his dick onto your face
>Buzz walks you out of his office, takes out some tissues and wipes it off
>SORRY ANON, HE'S JUST THE WAY HE IS. HONESTLY YOU'RE LUCKY THOUGH, HE FUCKED ME IN THE ASS ON MY FIRST DAY.

>>19603218
keep going anon!

>>19603218
I'm high as hell
Keep the autism going

>>19603218
gold

>>19602526
>>19602648
>Working hard in your cuck pod, making sure your productivity statistics are up so they don't start venting in Laquesha's BRAPs again
>Suddently hear "Pumped Up Kicks" blasting outside the plexiglass Wagie Window™
>A man in a My Little Pony trenchcoat is shooting up the office, brutally mowing down the cohort who were recently let our for their 12:15-12:30 mandatory diversity appreciation drum circle
>You see him heading towards your pod
>Finally, sweet release from this living hell
>The bullets plink off the Wagie Window™ and he moves on to the IT Pajeet Pit
>Suddenly, your surgically attached headphones/distraction cancellers bark "ANON! YOUR OUTPUT IN THE LAST 2-MINUTE PRODUCTIVITY PERIOD IS DOWN 57%! GET BACK TO WORK"
>You quickly get back to scrubbing interracial crime statistics from the One World Database as the smell of chicken skins that have fermented in a black woman's hindgut for 12 hours begins to fill your pod

this is giving me anxiety anon make it stop REEEEEEEE

>>19603218
Why the fuck this nibba torso 30% of his body

>>19602220
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ITS EVEN FUCKING WORSE THAN IMAGINED

Imagine graduating from college (without even getting to actually walk across the stage) and ending up in a fucking cuck box. Fucking F to the zoomers you really dont deserve this.

there havent been good jobs for years. millenials are fucked too. I HATE BOOMERS AND NIGGERs

>>19603690
holy shit those legs, I am fucking cooming

>>19602220
I mean I actually like this. I could have all kinds of shit in mine and never leave.

>>19604091
you subhuman honeybeebitch get the fuck out of my thread , NOOOOOW

>>19602704
>>19602766
based, I would love this over open plan

>>19603690
zoomies aren't stupid enough to go to college anymore, we saw what happened to the millenials

>>19604091
bzz bzz

>>19602669
sent

>>19602220
Manual workers in the cage, white collar, in the pod.

>>19603218
moaaaaaaar

>>19602220
where are you supposed to take a shit though?

>>19602292
Is it time to update this meme?

>>19602220
Stop trying to reinvent the wheel you stupid fucks. Just stick with the tried and true.

>>19602438
>>19602669

>>19602220
Way better than a regular open office I give it a C+

>>19605207
Karen's pod

>>19602669
10/10.

>>19603795
>I HATE BOOMERS AND NIGGERs
based

>>19605276
>coof

>>19605276
>The virgin Jewbicle vs the Chad Productivity-Pod.

>>19606108
high quality seal of blood approval

>>19602220
What complete bullshit. As if a company cares about their workers dropping dead from the kung flu. Businesses barely pay for toilet paper in the bathrooms, let alone some plastic tub cuck-shed for their workers.
Some dumb hipster start-up will use this for 3 years until one of their hires dies from a heart attack from not turning on the fans and dying in their own stink and get sued into oblivion.

>>19605779
This one makes me sad. WTF

>>19606278
what reason is there for office jobs to ever be done outside of the home ever again?
>company saves money by not having offices
>company saves money by hiring people from wherever the fuck they want and can pay them fuck all if they live in a shithole
>company already monitors what people are doing on their computers so productivity loss from being at home is a meme argument against this ; they will simply fire you after letting you know they've been watching you jerk off to whatever degenerate coomer media you enjoy

any meme job where you sit at a computer all day is going to see their wages get FUCKED over the next decade calling it now

>>19606587
Don't worry fren the bees escaped and got revenge on their hivemaster

>>19602413
For the unenlightened
https://youtu.be/Mj0ixxrAb7A

>>19603218
Dude, shut the fuck up. You should have left it at the first one, these aren't funny anymore.

I've got a great idea for a "pod".
It's called an office.

>>19606662
>what reason is there for office jobs to ever be done outside of the home ever again?
You don't lose time with commutes, which means you can improve yourself or even do a side hustle and have a shot at financial independence (or at least to not need the job as much as they want you to), and they can't demoralize you with ease into believing you're incredibly fortunate working for Noseberg
For the company it means that you might jump ship to greener pastures with more ease
For your manager it means he can't hold you down since your productivity will be monitored by some machine, he might lose his job to you sooner than later
For HR it means they will have a much harder time getting rid of you since they can't shout rape or creepy weirdo since you're just working at your own home

>>19602220
Why the Pod? Why it's always the fucking pod and bugs? It's only about humiliation? Jews are fucking twisted.

>>19602220
from the thumbnail, I thought it looked like the controller for Nintendo's next console

I would prefer pods to open spaces.

The open space Millenial fad gives me fucking cancer.

Luckily for me I am an engineer and I get to work from home.

>>19607020

yeah the whole point of cubes was how to get rid of offices because it's cheaper, and then open plan hipster desk seating was a way of shoving even more employees in at multiple to a desk and then selling it as "a collaborative space"

>>19606952
*sip*
this should be good
thanks for this anon hope there is a PNK reference in it

>>19602438
>tripfag
Its even got an attention seeking disorder, like a redditor. You're a literal faggot.

>>19603597
Anon, post an eth wallet address. This deserves some manner of shitcoin. (Which flavor? Commie or Brown? I'm not sending brown, transaction fees worth more than 100m )

i am never going back to work. ive proven that i can be relied on to work from home. now i can make money and be comfy. thank you based coronavirus

>>19602220
unironically better than open offices, rather be in a closed off comfy pod with built in feet warmer

>>19602220
Kek I'm imagining thousands of these arranged in a circular layout with a tower in the centre for the senior wagies to monitor everything

I call it the WAGE-OPTICON

>>19602669
Put me in the screencap

>>19602220
I work in an open plan office and I would unironically love one of these. Might actually get some fucking work done without having to listen to Becky talk to Stacy for 2 hours about the dress she wants to buy.

>>19602220
based

>>19602220
i have a warehouse with very high ceiling, how do i stack 4-5 of them up on each other? if i just stick my 50 feet ladder next to it my valuable workforce can get in/out any level with ease right? or do you think i might need to invest into an adjustable ladder?

>>19608719
You can't. They have to be open on top. What you can do, is use metal grating to make a cheap floor that lets dust and debris fall on the pods below, and yo ucan figure out the rest I'm falling asleep.

>>19602438
Yoooooo, Detective! How ist your Internet persona going my guy?

I would prefer this. I generally dislike most people that talk to me at work. I always fake it, even though my insides hurt just being near other people.

>>19608751
from the picture it looks like they can be opened from the side exclusively, opening top is just a luxury feature so lazy ungrateful workforce can just walk in rather than having to crawl, no?

>>19606926
Holy shit

>>19608719
They require some clearance above for the door and ventilation. So you can't stack them directly.

I say build your own that can stack. Or get pallet shelves with enough clearance, then weld on a braced catwalk and ladder so they can reach the doors to get inside.

>>19605224
nothing to update, it was a prophecy

>>19608545
I know you're memin, but it could be the future

>>19602220
How to avoid wageslaving

>>19602220

>>19609604
brap chamber

>>19609604
>Meisenzahl

every.fucking.time

>>19609068

1. find something productive that you like and is interesting to you
2. don't worry about the money or how much it pays (but avoid going into debt)
3. make sure there is a human element to the work and socialize with co-workers
4. study to get there
5. dont be envious of other jobs that pay more/have more "prestige" (prestige is all bullshit)
6. avoid toxic people or toxic workplaces, i.e. workplaces that constantly ask you to do overtime, have you always on call, or has an abusive boss/people.
7. DON'T be a company man - doing extreme things for the company, always volunteering your time, working 50+ hours per week
8. Have the courage to say no but the responsibility to know when you should take on a task to improve yourself.
9. keep expenses and obligations low so that if shit hits the fan you can leave quickly and don't feel forced to stay there.
10. Live in a comfortable area (not the city) and get plenty of exercise

If you do it right work is just a part of your day. It actually feels good and fulfilling. Everyone gets sad sometimes but if ya stay positive and in there life is actually pretty good

>>19606926
Ok sweet well now I know to not repeatedly hit a bee hive like a retard.

>>19606926
-they are defending themselves somehow!

>>19607020
just my luck getting one of the only two offices with support beams

>>19602253

Congratulations, you've finally discovered that awards is just another term for "jews promoting jewish things that are detrimental for you".

Case in point, check the author for the article and then look at a music award roster. Realize why michael jackson made a "kick me, kike me" song.

>>19602388
Glass shouldn't bee see-through from inside, only from outside

>>19603690
>Get yourself in debt
>Put you a cramped box until you pay it out

I read about that somewhere in history books.

>>19605276
I heard that, Curtis.

>>19610946
I DIDN'T KILL ANYONE

>>19610930
Oh shid

>>19610646
You just opened my eyes with that Micahel Jackson truth. What the fuck dude!

>>19602220
if i was allowed to control the temperature in it, i'd use one in a heartbeat. fuck working in an office with a bunch of women

>>19602220
Is this an Amazon patent?

I would love a cozy cubicle or pod as compared to open office hell