/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>18635052
If you have zero chance of getting the job anyway it's hard to think of a downside except for if that lie gets found out years down the road and you get fired and then you can't use them as a reference so you have this massive gap on your resume.
So kinda depends how desperate you are for the job desu, are you willing to take that risk?

>>18635096
fake your references, there's really no consequence

>>18635052
You should, but do it in a way that is not obvious, at all. Like, if you have some little experience doing X, just say you have experience doing X, without including any level of knowledge or anything.

>>18635096
I've fucking had it with filling out these endless applications to not get so much as a call back. So yeah I think I am

>>18635052
if you aren't going to outright lie (you should), at the very least put that you were doing shit that your boss was actually doing

Anon I’ll give you a pro tip for free - lie like your life depends on it - if you get an interview whatever you do lie - they want you to lie - if you tell the truth don’t even bother applying it’s a waste of time

>>18635052

That's the real point of Jobs interviews. They want to see if you are really capable, but if you aren't they want to see you lie. Of course you can't lie about references and obvious things like knowing a language, but you must lie about your personalità and behaviour, showing yourself as a Great worker.

>>18635052
yes
lie

yes. lie as much as you can to get as many interviews as you can.

then once you start getting interviews, either set your phone to record or get some other sort of audio recording device and record each interview going over the questions after each. every time learning something new and learning how to phrase your answers into what the companies want to hear until you are finally able to land the job you actually want.
then once you’re in, if it’s a field you actually care about, whammo professional experience time. if you can give a fuck about the actual job then just go in fuck around and collect your paychecks. it costs companies 3x more to replace people so you could potentially just leech for at least a year before they made serious moves to get rid of you and even then you could just hop on your bosses computer while he’s at lunch one day and DL some of dat cp to really secure your position.

*BONUS TIPPPPPP*
>go to craigslist and post a job opening for whatever position you want (it’s like $7 to create a job posting but spend it faggot) and then just go through all the resumes that come in and copy paste your own together
>now your resume looks spectacular!

happy hunting gaylords

>>18636132
>that bonus tip

Devilish my friend

Everyones doing it
just don't lie about something thats easy to verify like your diploma
I have a handfull of recomendations I wrote and signed myself from fake defunct companies
just sell them a story, HR is usually always filled with stupid lazy women who don't do much background checking anyway other than fucking typing your name on fucking google

>>18638225

do you actually bring your recommendations in to interviews?
ive always fucked off on covers letters and all that

>>18638308
yeah, I bring copies of everything and leave it next to me, hardest part about having an elaborate lie is remembering the details when youre questioned so I always have them next to me to act like cue cards, also low-key impressionable for being prepared by not sitting at the table empty handed like its an interrogation, besides most like it when you come with more things than just what you already sent in your applications

>>18638649

Can confirm what this anon said.
Remembering the details is the hardest part, but it's good to also keep in mind that they don't know what reality is anyway, and quite frankly what you have or haven't done previously is really none of their business because your life is nobody's business but you're own, so you don't have to remember everything perfectly. It's more about just telling a general story that seems like it is similar to what other people would have done previously before taking this open position.

Also, I've experimented with having different amounts of things in front of me during interviews. The best results have come from having three things on the table in front of me: my resume, a printout of the job posting, and a notepad. For some reason having three things in front of me during the interview has got much better results than having two things in front of me.

>>18639923
>>18638649

nice. what types of jobs are easiest to BS your way into and through?

>>18635052
Don't.
Your reputation is everything. Long time to build, a few minutes to destroy completely.
When someone, not if someone, finds out about it... you. are. done.
Especially in this socially networked world.
Word travels fast.

>>18636132
based

>>18635096
I've never understood why a company would look into you years later, then if they even found something, why would they fire you so long as you did at least ok at your job?

>>18636132

Ive discovered employers are immensely lazy and cant read resumes so they will outsource going through them to headhunter middlemen who take 50% of your wage. They are lazy and depend on good people to make them rich. Fuck them and lie, because thats all they do, and thats what other people do.