/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>18578262
based
what are you going to do with it?

how much did they pay you to take them

>>18578262
Why didn't you wait til tomorrow, took a pic and then start this AMA, faggot?

Where is that anon who was talking about how he bought at $20 and how he was going to be rich in no time.

>>18578262
TELL ME WHERE YOU ORDERED

>>18578262
How will you store it?

Canada is going to get smashed after this.

>>18578262
how much is the delivery fee?

>>18578333
start my own percussion group to rival Stomp

>>18578505
Considering the maple leaf dollar is less than a roll of charmin ultra soft, I'd say double fucked.

>buy 120 oil drums
>make steel pans and sell then for profit
thanks for the free money

>>18578262
GET IN THE OFFICIAL /biz/ SERVER discord.gg CpqQw7b
WE'RE WATCHING THIS SHIT CRASH TOO AND WE WILL INTERVIEW ETH FOUNDER VITALIK THIS WEEK
HAHAHHAH

>>18578571
kek

>>18578505
please no the loonie is already worthless

>>18578744
You have to pay to dispose of that oil!

>>18578262
need any help refining it?

>>18578866
rivers are public

Why not dump the oil in your backyard and sell the empty barrels?

>>18578815
Sorry, I'm not a furry tranny degenerate subhuman shitter redditor faggot

>>18578866
just flush it down the toilet noob

>>18578406
based and bluebarreled

>>18578744
Yup, gonna use the $200,000 I just earned to be given this oil, and start my own refinery. I plan to turn my house into a gas station. Gonna sell it back to the public.

Gonna be a millionaire overnight bros

>>18578920
the BP solution

>>18578262
Where to buy?

>>18578262
Based OP, I am slightly jealous of your storage space.

I personally drained my pool, but it only has a volume of 30,000 gallons and as such I have only ordered 700 barrels of oil. I am considering clearing out the garage and making room for another hundred or so. Every bit of space counts.

why is this happening?

>>18579083
trump

>>18579083

>>18579077
where did you buy? answer or your post is bs

>>18578262
How many barrels of oil are being delivered to your house tomorrow?

>>18578866
set it on fire
make it look like a malicious action towards you and make sure it's insured

>>18579214
that much is obvious
but what is causing this massive selloff?

>>18579053
google "buy oil" bruh

>>18578866
Just use the oil to deep fry some shit like the texans do, it'll be fine.

>>18579337
>get my oil insured for -$50 a barrel
>burn it down
>owe my insurance company millions
BUY INSURANCE STONKS NOW

>>18578571
>Apu with webbed feet

>>18578866
no problem, i'll get some matches from the gas station while they pay me for driving there.

>>18579083
US became the leading producer of oil in the world and the Russians and Saudis were like, "ahh shit nigga, wes gon be broke".
So in true nigger fashion, they started to produce more oil so the price of oil would fall below what was profitable for the US.

There is so much oil out of the ground right now, and thanks to the Kung Flu, it has no where to go. No one is buying. Investors who bought contracts for oil delivery to speculate and sell at a later time, no one is willing to buy those contracts from them. So investors are now willing to pay people to take their oil delivery contracts.

It doesnt actually come with a barrel though, does it?

>>18579485
is it a rock or a hashish block or else?

>>18578414
craigslist

>>18580191
Comes in tupperware containers

>>18578341
this

just burn it at night, who's gonna see the smoke?

>>18579622
Yer a funny guy op

Does anyone know what happens if you buy oil futures but there are no tanks left to store it? Speculators now even give you money to get rid of their oil futures to avoid that scenario. My guess would be that the seller will find an expensive way to store the oil and then send you the bill. Could that be the case?

>buy hundreds of thousands of barrels of Oil
>Use the money the oil companies have given me to take the oil to build a fort
>come the imminent apocalypse I'll become a Mad Max Warlord
Thank you Kung Flu for making my dreams come true

>>18578262
Flip it to 37,500 pounds of coffee per K

>3000 barrels of oil on the way
>Trezor still locked in at 19k

We are all gonna make it bros btw that cat gif is real

>>18579622
>a
>fucking
>burgermutt

>>18579444
Jews

>>18578744
Pretty sure the barrel itself is not included in the price of a barrel of oil, as dumb as that sounds.

>>18582821
how much is a barrel?

>>18578262
rofl what the fuck you gonna do with it?

>>18578406
I remember that dumb faggot. He probably necked himself.

>>18582857
A metal one is like $100 by itself, probably a lot cheaper in bulk

>>18582821
It is dumb because they’re paying you to take delivery of the barrel, they wants the contracts off their hands because they’re speculating and can not afford to take delivery. If you’re buying the contracts, then you’ll be committed to taking delivery (unless you flip by COP tomorrow) or you’ll have to pay large storage fees to the producer

>>18578868

Nigeria is best. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAgw_Zyznx0

>buy 10000 barrels
>get paid 100000 dollars
>dump it in the river

>>18578262
How are you going to refine it?

>>18578533
free prime shipping

>>18582933
if they want me to take delivery of their worthless oil, they better include the precious, precious barrel for free.

You dont get the fucking barrels with it

>>18578262
How did you do it anon?
Please tell us your secret.

>>18578940
Wew lad, enjoy getting raped by epa fines and most probably dying of cancer.

>>18583051
fuck refining it, hold onto it for a month until oil goes up to 20 bucks and sell it back

>>18578262

>>18582821
Pretty sure that is precisely the reason why this sell of happened.
The world ran out of barrels to store it in.

>>18583003
This. I'm not smart enough to flush it out, but I'm certain there's a way to figure out how to store this shit cheaply. not legally, obviously, but in a way I can make a profit.

>>18583125
This you fucking idiots. A barrel is just a unit of measurement in this case. You're not getting any steel drums.

>>18582517
inb4 Guzzeline Farm

>>18578262
AllahuAkbar?

>>18583336
who cares, they can dump it on my garden as long as they pay me

>>18583291
HOW DO I INVEST IN BARREL MANUFACTURING?

>>18578262
>1500 barrels of oil are being delivered to my house tomorrow

you know it won't come in barrels right? you better have a big enough double wall steel tanker that meet's EPA's specs or some more expensive fiberglass shit.

frankly, I don't even know how crude is stored. I imagine any UST tank would work.

>>18578431
hotkinkyjo

>>18578262
post oil faggot

Wouldn't it be cheaper to just dump the oil in the ocean than trying to sell it at loss?

>>18578262
How do I start buying oil?

>>18583556
>won't it be cheaper to create a superfund site and end up in federal prison than trying to pay someone to do the work you speculated you could handle.

>>18579312
this
also, when?

>buy oil at negative price
>get oil and money
>give away oil for free to brainlets who don't know how to buy for negative
>keep free money

>>18583742
don't steal my idea

>>18583290
swimming pools are closed during lockdown so there is that

>>18578866
Just dump it in the creek lmao

>>18583742
nevermind all the time and energy and logistics involved which is why the price is negative in the first place

>>18578995
based frogposters are always the big brains

>>18578262
>mfw using my free oil to make a batmobile style oil slick dispenser on my car

>>18578866
what if we freeze it and store it in antarctic?

>>18583003
>resell the barrels it came in

>>18583919
Why not sell the frozen oil in popsicle form?

How do you buy physical crude oil?

>>18583978
buy a future contract
wait

>buy thousands of barrels of oil
>store them all in a huge hole in the ground
pottery

>>18584257
this. they legally have to deliver it to your door. just say put it in the garage

im sure there are some water resevoirs in michigan they could empty and store it in there.
better than the lead water they get.
nigs can fill their empty 40's with it and wait until its worth something again

>>18578262
kek

>>18578866
Fuck that. Bottle it 5oz at a time and sell it as all natural skin lotion to retarded suburban housewives. Cash flow for life.

>>18578866
The ocean is big

>>18582645
based

>>18582645
Lold

fake and gay. the delivery would be for the 1st of may since it's a may futures contract. low effort

>>18583290
>rent gas truck and hire some driver
>rent like 20 storage units across town
>get cheap barrels at the junkyard inflatable swimming pools anything you can get your hands on
>start pilling them up into storage units
>sell it all on Craigslist watch normies flock to your booming underground trade for cheap gas
There. I just made you like 300k easy.

>this whole thread.

Get negative oil become millionaire and then set that shit on fire or dump it in jannies water supply

>>18584836
>gas

>>18578866
dude, it's oil
Literally burn it, that's what we use it for

A rare image of OP

You are on le reddit facebook page xddddd hi sadmin exdeeeee

>>18579312
paseq and 710pilled

>>18585179
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD EBICCCCCCC :DDDDD PUD ME IN THE GREENSHOD :P

fuck china

>>18578262
Roll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun
Roll out the barrel, we've got the blues on the run
Zing boom tararrel, ring out a song of good cheer
Now's the time to roll the barrel, for the gang's all here

>>18584504
>yfw they shove a pipeline through your window and start pumping oil into your house

>>18578262
Open them and coom in each and every one.

>>18585368
> In crisis era, lay your eggs in the grasshopper's brains
What a strange idiom

>>18583003
extremely based and economically brilliant

>>18583392
STOP YELLING

>>18585300
Omg fuk le WAIFU WEDnesdayyyy!!

>>18578262
kek

>>18582998
only Africans could be this uniquely inefficient

>>18578262
I’m using the 50,000 barrels I picked up today to make oil ocean a reality
https://youtu.be/FhSB8V3aDKg

>>18578262
ive laughed so much in this thread, best thread of 2020 OP

>>18578262
s-same here anon, just bought them today and they already arrived

>>18578262
did they make you pay for the barrels?
Their just going to dump it on your lawn from a tanker truck otherwise. True story a buddy in college was trading coal futures got stuck with one and a mother fucking barge worth of coal was delivered to his office

That was back in the day tho idk if it still works that way

>>18578262
Pics or it didnt happen

i “bought” 1200 barrels under my ex’s name and address kek

>>18583125
>get paid $40 to buy barrel of oil
>empty worthless oil into river
>resell the barrel for $100
>???
>profit

>>18585438
That happened to someone I used to work with; an oil delivery company had the wrong house, and dumped a load of oil into her basement.

5 years later, she could still smell the oil sometimes.

>>18585815
>his office
Lol

>>18585917
You get a barrel of oil, as in the amount of oil that fits in a barrel, not the barrel itself.

>>18578262
Can someone explain to me why people have waited so long to sell their crude oil futures?

Why wait for the last day to sell?

>>18586386
4/20 bruj

>>18586291
>Pull out minature barrels
>Tfw my response is so autistic that they pour a whopping 10 milligrams in before giving up and taking the rest back
>Mfw they don't make me give them the money back and ask me why I have a basement filled to the brim in toilet paper
>"Why I trade tp futures of course"

True big brains will be selling their truck services at OK tomorrow

wait how do you buy the oil

>>18586595
you go to the oil store stupid

>>18586595
Be careful when paying in cash.
Tellers might try to dupe you into receiving a barrel of oil when handing the change. Always ask for the receipt first and accept the change only when you see theres no obligation to take some oil with it.

>>18586547
so you have to bring your own tanker to cushing oklahoma? so this thing about them delivering it to people's homes is bullshit.

>>18586547

>>18578378
because that wouldnt make any fucking sense would it
>im gonna have 1500 barrels delivered tomorrow AMA
>they actually were delivered earlier today

>>18582927
Wtf? I thought they would be like $30

>>18586547
lmaoing at the bagholders who bought USO today

>>18586783
I wonder if Cushing homeowners have "absolutely no oil storage in the pool" in their contracts

>>18586754
how fucking retarded do you have to be to think you can just order barrels of oil an Amazon and have them delivered to your home

>>18583250
you fucked up the order it reads from bottom to top we are not japs

>>18586871
*sighs* i didn't say you could order them on amazon.

>>18586547
>you must take physical delivery
no you don't, idiot. If you can't or don't take delivery they just expire as worthless but you didn't get the money off the sale to put into more futures contracts. So you just lose money and look like a real faggot
t. commodities trader

>>18578262
Nice. Gonna dump it in the storm drain?

>>18578866

>>18578262
hold up.
what if I buy enough barrels of oil until I have enough money to buy myself a powerplant to spend all my oil on?

>>18587269
What's stopping me from "buying" a negatively priced future and letting it expire, then?

>>18587890
Okay I realize that might be a bit silly, power plants take time to build after all.
New idea:
>buy oil, get money
>pay someone else slightly less to take it out of my hands

why not just run well in reverse and put oil back into ground?

>>18583936
>being this based

>>18586810
Top kek

>>18580191
if you're canadian it comes bagged

>>18579305
Gas station, guy behind me was mad but he shouldve came 5 min earlier.

>>18583556
Nigga what year do you think this is lmao

>>18587936
What is to stop you from burning your money? Nothing.

>>18579512
>>18579337
>Tfw the insurance company has an incentive to commit acts of terrorism against me

This week we will unironically see reports on a huge ass storage fire / oil tanker spillage / pipeline malfunction.
Probably on multiple occasions

>>18578866
>mfw OP thinks they will send the barrels in actual barrels
>mfw shit load of trucks park at OP's house asking him where to unload
>OP lives in his moms basement, thats a given

OP is grounded tomorrow AHA

At least oil won't go bad. You won't have to throw it away, like all that milk that the closed processing plants aren't processing.

>>18586836
waiting
it's gonna go lower
been watching it all day

>>18578920
How dare you

>>18588730
that's it! put the oil in the milk tanks.