/biz/ - Business & Finance

fuck anime
fuck tripfags

FUCK NIGGERS

MY FUCKING PORTFOLIO

It’s a big nothing flu. S&P back to 300 before the end of the year.

>>18157439
Based.

What's the call for companies that shit the bed but will be balls deep by Summer?

>>18157461
That's good of her to give them boys free rape loicenses.

>>18157405
You could implement Norbits Gambit to minimize fees. However it can take like 5 days for the whole process

Dow will never be 18k. Screencap this.

10 minutes to movie night! Tonight's feature is Black Sheep (1935)!

Oil futures can't tank more than 5% right?

>>18157465
Yes!

Monday is J Pow's final boss day. If it's green, I go all long, because unlimited QE is apparently unlimited gains

>>18157503
Project blue beans
Screen shit this

>>18157527
whatever happened to christchan? is she still alive?

>>18157529
Balls

>lost $40k trying to short the market
$150k left. time to somehow break even

>>18157529
But I thought the Fed wasn't involved in equities?

>>18157515
JFC a huge painting fell off my wall, I have a shitload of glass to clean up. Movie delayed 10 mins

>>18157562
The treasury somehow took over the fed bruh.

I'm going all in on oil and gold and if you're american you will too.

>>18157556
Long Oil. Have you heard of the miraculous GUSH.

>>18157556
All you have to do is buy the fucking dip.

>>18157562
There's some ridiculous fuckery involving the Fed financing the Treasury to buy shit through Blackrock

Also the small business loans will be forgiven if the business retains it's workers, which means the Treasury is officially in the money printing business again

anyone here planning on taking their 401k or IRA out to cash? something tells me we havent hit bottom, im like 75% decided on withdrawing my 401k especially now that the new stimulus law lets you do it without tax penalty.

>>18157581
He wants to break even, not lose it all

>>18157556
>he thinks you can time the market

I just want the Dow to reach 10k. Is that really too much to ask?

>>18157562
it's not (yet)
But they are now involved in basically direct lending to companies, which means they are more likely to be profitable and less likely to default and stuff.

>>18157572
OK let us know when it's all safe plz
gonna do some bodyweight stuff
be careful!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Will Monday be bloody guys?

>>18157597
i was actually up 80k but i was too greedy. last week ruined me with that retarded +10% rally.

>>18157596
Oil should come back in a couple of years though.

Has the market bottomed? Is it time to buy? We didn't even reach -50% yet so I'm sceptical.

>>18157598
Thats like a 65% drop from last months high, yea its a pretty big ask

>>18157589
>Treasury is officially in the money printing business again

What's implication anon? Short and long term.

>>18157607
Lol I knew what was coming the second I opened that webm

>>18157619
But can GUSH last that long after all its probably like DRIP.

>>18157607
Hot. SQQQ weekenders rise up

>>18157607
how do these things exist? did they learn some sort of shapeshifting black magic?

>>18157638
Idk but I'm pretty sure it's inflation

not like, Zimbabwe inflation, but maybe low double digits

>>18157607

>>18157572
AAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAA

>>18157607
would smash

>>18157656
this was a terrible idea... but im in.
i realized this too late... and now we're basically betting the Fed won't brrrr

>>18157638
>What's implication anon? Short and long term.
brrrr brrrrrrrr

Any fellow SQQQ chads here?

>>18157598
>>18157622

I doubt things will drop more than another 15-20% if things actually dump.

>>18157659
>>18157689

How is different than the Fed doing the printing?

>>18157712
fed like bbrRRrrRr

but now brrrr

>>18157697
>>18157656
ayyup

>>18157697
SPXS so basically same thing. 200 shares

Am I gonna make it if this shit dumps bros?

Anyone else seeing more and more normies call this a nothingburger? People are gonna want to go back to work soon. Maybe even before Easter.

>>18157697
>shares
Do you hate money?

>>18157562
Treasury and Fed are now one entity for all intents and purposes.
Nobody knows what will happen. The safest bet is probably inflation but at this pojnt...

>>18157515
OMG link movie thing me new computer >_>

>tfw my XOP short calls are plummeting
i-its only a few thousand dollars hehe r-right?

>>18157598
it wont
15-17 more realistic target

>>18157742
The longer it goes the more people see that this is in fact a somethingburger.
Look at Europe. Everything is closed down but people are now happy it is that way.

>>18157607
Thanks anon, now my dick is hitting the toilet seat.

On that topic, /smg/ can't fit their dicks through a roll right?

>>18157757
/r/Malthus_Mithraeum

>>18157740
Unironically yes. I've held puts the last couple of fridays and I always made money. It can be different this time though

>>18157740
if it really truly duuuumps we're guunna be making gains. im hoping to get out at 28

>>18157742
no one wants to lose their jobs and live on the streets just so that a few 80 year olds have a better chance to not get the flu
it doesn't really make much sense.

Once the initial panic wears off, everyone realizes the truth about the size of this burger.

>>18157761
hehe

I have slowly come to the terrible revelation that none of you know what the fuck you are doing. I have a Master's in Accountancy with a minor in Finance. I work for a fortune 100 as a corporate accountant with a CMA and CPA. I used to have some faith in anon.
None of you know how to actually value a company. You can't read financial statements. For fuck's sake you think TA works and the entire field of decision science churns out dissertations every other day highlighting their absolute dismay at the fact that brainlets ever consider using it. You have no idea what Dunning-Kruger is. You don't know what survivorship bias is. You are fucked.

>>18157779
If we get some apocalyptic tier dump (3 breakers, total panic, dow at 15k etc) when q1 earnings come out where do you see sqqq being? Is it even possible to break $35?

Movie night movie night! Get in here! Painting all cleaned up, jeez what a hassol

>>18157777
Quads wasted on a r*ddit link
Jannies ban this faggot

>>18157461
this is what the stock market did to me this month save me daddy jeremo bobo cock to big

>>18157742
I drove by the local hospital today. Parking lot is pretty empty. It’s a giant NOTHING.

I really want the bars and restaurants to open back up, my favorite bar has these dope pretzels.

>>18157823
tell me everything you invest in so can short it

>>18157807
Who knows? Its infinite QE and manipulated markets. I can easily see another 20% dump but beyond that Id be suprised if they just start buying stocks.

>>18157843
Everything you like is already priced in. Sorry newfag.

>>18157806
Why is this copy pasta so popular? Accountancy has very little on investing btw

>>18157461
>Be Brit police
>Do not have a gun
>Get overpowered by anyone stronger than you

>>18157843
>tell me everything you invest in so can short it!!!!!!!!!!

>>18157831
In NJ 90 miles away from NYC. Hearing ambulances all the time. Yielded to 3 different ambulances with full lights and sirens speeding to get to the hospital which has tents set up outside. Urgent care full. Help. Fucking please help

>>18157857
Quintessentially British.

>>18157595

I liquidated mine on the first day that we hit limit down, unfortunately the only smart move I have made in this market

>>18157687
>now we're basically betting the Fed won't brrrr
it's over bobro
the fed can't do anything else. the economy is in its last gasps, short this bitch to 0.

>>18157843
>tell me everything you invest in so can short it

>>18157877
How do I watch webms on an iPhone so I can watch and respond to this blatant defamation of the Queen and her subjects?

>>18157823
>he thinks thats a reddit link
how fucking new are you?
do you even know who I am?

>should have only been lucky trips, but things got out of hand

>>18157843
Dave and Busters

>>18157875
Help isn't coming because the Feds are doing everything they can just to stop the bleeding in New York and Los Angeles. New Jewsrey, New Orleans, Chicago, Detroit, no help will come for them. Hundreds of thousands of Americans will die. I'm betting on it, and I'm only worried about that bet because Jerome Powell is spending infinite money to make me lose it.

>>18157897
VLC

Whats your guys take on the industries that are going to dip harder when the bull trap bubble pops. Are we gonna see a sub 300 tesla or is it more likely that all oil companies go bankrupt?

>>18157843
Boeing, RCL.

>>18157906
I'm fucking shorting them hard

>>18157909
I can't leave dude. In February I tried to flee to PA to buy guns and hunker down there but the landlord I was talking to cut communication because of this. People are getting sick left and right. I wore my CBRN hazard mask to Walmart and a pack of nigs came up to me like SHEEEIT IT AINT THAT BAD WYBOI. Srs. Nobody cares even though bodies are piling up. I saw one of those morgue trucks at my hospital too. HELP SOMEBODY PLEASE FUCK

>>18157933
Anon, oil companies are already bankrupt

>>18157831
where do u live anon

>>18157933
Cruise stonks to zero, meme stonks at sensible valuations (Tesla is probably worth at least 300 desu, I'd buy it there). Canadian oil companies possibly to zero, Western Canada Select is literally cheaper than a barrel full of monkeys. Boeing should drop but if any company will get magic government money it's Boeing.

>>18157958
Portland

>>18157917
You mean literally download it and watch it on vlc? I aint got time for that. Is this what everyone does? I assume most or at least 60% use Iphones here

>>18157919

Dalio has been saying that for over 2 years now. He thinks we are headed to WWIII

>>18157947
long BA, BAC
short GLD, VIX

>>18157902

>>18157967
is taking 2021 puts out on every cruise company to as low as possible a foolproof strat?

>>18157957
Well shit ones I'd imagine are doom like OXY. RDS for example is safe, if they can make it through two world wars their probably fine.

>>18157807
I just started trading options at the very peak of the market so you're asking the wrong guy but all I know is that 3 circuit breakers in one day is very unlikely. I can definitely see 1 cb triggering though

>>18157987
I mean if any coronavirus treatment pans out before that you'll get kinda dicked. Maybe May or June calls?

>>18157974
no

>>18157974
>I assume 60% of /smg/ is retards
while that's normally a good assumption I think you'd be wrong here, why would anyone use fruitshit?

>>18158009
treatment or not who the fuck is going to climb onto a boomerboat after this

>>18157933
Everything. 2014 MSFT had a pb ratio of what? 3? Now its still at 10.
NVDA is at fucking 20 or so.

Not saying this is a stand alone matrix but the value just has inflated over the last 5/6 years. To a point where only a big and general drop could restore order if the Fed would only allow it.

>>18158034
you underestimate the stupidity of boomers, there's still boomers stranded at sea because they got on cruise ships after the second Diamond Corona disaster

>>18157974
We are tho... It will start with Iran

>>18157761
>Buying an obsolete energy resource during an energy crisis in a sector wracked with so much debt the companies will be bankrupt in a month

>>18158034
boomers don't believe in anything they can't look in the eye and have firm handshake with, they are like lemings at this point and cruise ships are this day and age's Charon who takes them into the underworld.

>>18157975
>Shorting GLD with BRRRR dollars on the way
Why would anyone do this?

>>18158077
this comic, but the sword is options trading and the girl is a $400 net worth zoomer who just downloaded robinhood

and death is the market makers

>>18158077
Oil will be with us till it runs out. It is just that cheap and efficient.

But buying oil or oil companies right now is suicide and banking on gouvernment bail outs stupidity. Or is it? I dont even know anymore.

Wait this whole Trump becoming head of the fed is just a rumor right? The government cant be this stupid right?

>>18158099
The FED hasn't been properly independent from the executive since the Volcker era, so it's pretty much irrelevant.

>>18158063
PB or PE? I feel like Tech needs to pop especially how companies like apple are working themselves into the proverbial corner.

>>18158098
Oil isn't going away, but its not going to make much money anymore. Theres a finite demand that doesn't increase or decrease quickly. Thats why oil companies pay high dividends, because its a no-growth sector. So unless there is some major breakthrough with how we use oil, not much is going to change.

>>18158078
Is there a cruise service yet that drops all pretexts and just advertises itself as a retirement home in water for "long term care"? Like "LifeCenters of the Sea" or something

>>18158098
I reckon XOM will be a good long term buy after they announce a dividend cut and crash again

>>18158098
Depends on what company Id imagine the super majors are fine, if anything its time to get them at discounts.

>>18158098
The US will get SA to resolve this... We need our strategic oil production

>>18158113
So what's next if the Feds are technically not part of the government they should be now right with full executive control? It seems like window dressings at this point.

>>18158123
What do you think about the growth of Africa and Asia and the middle classes in those continents?

>>18158145
The only thing to invest in Africa is China's conquest there.

>>18158128
Which oil companies (Canadian or American) have the best investment in alternative energy and petrochemicals? One strategy I've heard thrown around for the future is oil companies going big into vertical integration, from well to fertilizer or plastic garbage or whatever other end products come from oil.

>>18157598
if digits double bottom on 2008 low

did anyone save the "$$$Money for Government$$$" JPow pasta? Please, i need it.

>>18158145
Its tough. Africa will only grow if foreign control is allowed but that doesn't seem soon. Asia sill probably be manufacturing slaves for a while, but China is going to be destoryed. China lied about everything and is basically world enemy number one. Companies will be moving out most of their business shortly, and they will have either civil war or US will blockade.

>>18158121
PB
Its quite archaic, and not that useful when it comes to Apple or Disney or so as intellectual property is not quantifiable.
But it highlights the madness we have now.

>>18158123
The growth of Africa and Asia will drive demand for the next decades. They gobble that shit up. And even in the west, we still rely on oil for everything.
I give it another 50 years before oil stops being a front page price on any financial web site.
>>18158128
>>18158129
>>18158131
We can only guess desu.

>>18158128
Chevron said they are holding their dividend steady, XOM might do the same.

>>18158099
The gouvernment only cares about being elected. Short term success for long term ruin drives all politicians.

>>18158189
Chevron supposedly has a significantly healthy balance sheet compared to XOM even before the crisis. If anything happens id imagine both of these guys stay but OXY MRO go under. COP might survive too given their position to have the lowest cost per barrel.

Is this priced in?

>>18158098
There is a point where oil cannot go down any further in short to medium term despite low demand/high production/full storage as every country in the world would be selling at a loss. While Corona is terrible for demand, I don't believe it's enough for the lowest cost producers, Saudi Arabia and Russia, to be willing to give the stuff away below cost. Saudis are allegedly able to produce the cheapest, this is estimated to be in the low teens. If you see oil drop in to the low teens with no additional problems occurring to drop demand even further than Corona already has, you should instantly buy.

The stuff i've seen about zero and negative oil prices can fuck off. That's completely insane. No reason for even the Saudis to do that.

>>18158248
About as bullish as this, sirs.

>>18158131
>The US will get SA to resolve this... We need our strategic oil production
True. They will try a few different things in order of least messy to most if it comes to that. US government will not sit on its hands and watch shale die without a fight of some kind.

>>18158249
It matters even less when you realize that the House of Saud has to use the oil money to provide welfare checks to keep the princes in line. No money no stability and like house of saud is out its probably why MBS has been bumping off more princes lately less welfare gibs.

>>18158249
This isn't about profit, this is a war. They are not in it to make money they are in it to destroy each other through economic war. The negative prices is a bit stupid, but thinking that this is just people trying to make money is midwit thinking.

>>18158248
>WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE POOR MUTILATED FAGGOTS WHO CAN'T TAKE LIFE DESTROYING MEDICATION

>>18158279
>They are not in it to make money they are in it to destroy each other through economic war
Well yeah. To increase their market control and their profits. It's absolutely about money.

is this priced in?

>>18158248
bullish

>>18158128
xom is a dividend aristocat. they have increased the dividend every year for over 90 years.

>>18158296
i-it's all... over now

>>18158296
he's hairless so he can't be a bear, but he's kinda spiky...
crabish

>>18158260
Wut?
>>18158249
They are a monarchy though. If they have to endure a shitty year to make the US companies go out of business they can do that. They dont need to be elected, they just need to funnel the other idiots money and Florida beach property.

Give it a bit of time and soon I'll have my 2400 bucks sitting in my account. I'll have my cake and eat it to. Went on a buying spree you see, taking advantage of this insanity. Now before this extra cash was on its way I'd have to pay myself back the old fashioned way, a bit at a time, which frankly sucked ass. Now that problem will be corrected and I'll be on top once again with the extra bonus being no more short term credit card debt due to the virus.

>>18158309
Id honestly just take the cloth and suffocate myself.

Bros, I don't respect women

>>18158335
How the fuck are you still here? I still literally cannot believe that someone thought that buying stocks was a better investment than paying off their credit card

Jerome Powell is /ourguy/

>>18157974
>Is this what everyone does?
it's what I do

>>18158341
Powerful statement.

>>18158327
>They dont need to be elected
there are worse things in governance than losing an election

>>18158341
Looks like another anon took the call

>>18158352
That man is a little dark to be from the based department, it's probably a scammer

>>18158341
Someone back test what would happen if you bought 1 year puts on any company that hires a woman as CEO.

>>18158367
he's italian its ok

>>18158339
>what if you are naked?

also no, your body wouldnt let you finish the job, and youll be screaming halfway through it anyways, depending on how big the fire is
If they preheat it youre fucked anyways

>>18157461
i wish her attack in the beginning was realistic. meaning actually aimed at him and with full speed. kinda sullies the whole thing.

>>18157461
source?

>>18158387
have you ever seen a woman try to physically fight a man? they turn into literal children

>SNSS RSI at 39
Big gains on the way

>>18158386
At this point fair enough. They spend huge efforts building a bull. Might as well give them that one. At least its not scaphism

>>18158371
Shut the fuck up dude. Never post my trade secrets here ever again

>>18157897
maybe you should upgrade your phone away from apple?
they didn't let you have flash and they don't even let you have webm.

>>18158339
Probably die of suffocation before burning that long anyways

>>18157597
I can

>>18158371
>>18158420
youd get rekt on LMT...
Get rekt on PEP and AMD too

What are the odds the government enacts any other measures on student loans? I was going to crush my loans to death this year, but now I want to dump money into the market in this once in a life time volatility cheapy festival. Should I pump money into my account and make minimum payments on loans on the off chance they drop 10k of loans or something? I am going to be pissed if I blast my loans and then they roll out relief on them.
>>18158387
Hollywood jews only make films like this specifically to film their fetishes. They crave depravity.

>>18157857
>Be Female police
>Do not have a muscle
>Get overpowered by anyone

also buy stocks fellow business men

>>18158444
As long as you have an low interest rate stonks is the better option. Hopefully you didn't shoot yourself in the foot with private loans

green monday?

>>18158396
The only fight I had in my life was with a woman. She grabbed my beard and pulled it. It hurt, so I punched her lights out.

>>18158482
quarantine is priced in so red monday

>>18158248
obviously not true but fuck trans people

>>18158507
if I can get one dumbass to do it, isn't it true?
truer than trish reagan

>>18158296
holy fuck what a faggot the guy that watermarked this video is

>>18158482
The quarantine rumors began today and ended today. It shouldn't affect the market because everything happened on a Saturday.

>>18158309
from what i've read this thing was only used one single time in history and it was on the guy that invented it

>>18158497

>>18157955
Are you healthy and not an old shit? Then you're fine.

>>18158396
not in real life but i've seen videos of it and they at the very least actually aim for the target. the woman's swing in the webm in this thread was intended to miss.

How long do we have bullbros?

>>18158576
Is this deaths per year?

>>18158463
Already fucked my shit up good. Paid off my private loans, but still have fed ones

>>18158588
Daily

>>18157465
Retard

>NY governor being a whiny bitch about everything and throwing blame around
>CA governor being very cooperative and realizes whining and blaming others is pointless
new yorkers are insufferable

>>18158596
A very large percentage of these deaths are people who were already unhealthy and old.

>>18158570
even if you survive you might get permanent lung damage. and do you know what they do if you actually end up in one of those ventilators? they shove air down your lungs, some people need to be strapped down just because they will pull the tube out otherwise. it's not exactly pleasant to survive corona.

>>18158629
>GIMME ALL THE VENTILATORS, FUCK EVERYONE ELSE

>>18158634
>if china didnt eat bats these numbers wouldnt exist

>>18157909
>nigger cities and a sh*talian state will be wiped out
unironically bullish

10/10

>>18157697
>>18157727
>>18157740
Hey broke college student that can't get a job and haven't heard back from any of my internship applications.
I'm thinking about taking $500 from the TrumpBux and throwing it on the stock market

I obviously can't daytrade with that amount. I either want to make aggressive swing trades or throw it all on a lotto pick option and try to make it big.

What broker would be best for such a small capital size and support options, forex, shorts and be available to use on a phone with push notifications?

>>18157740
Which broker is that?


Pic related I'm seriously thinking going all in if my luck doesn't change

>>18158669
and if they just washed their hands with soap and actually refrigerated their meat it wouldn't have scaled up to where we are now.

most of china lives like in medieval times, it's easy to forget it's still a developing country when all the footage you see is from tourist cities.

I have $1k on puts and SQQQ. Should I put in more? I dont have a lot of money

>>18158683
not sure losing all the peasants is good for an aconmommy

>>18158708
you should unironically hold on to your cash if you hope on luck seeing you through... start making a plan

italian debt to gdp ratio is going to pass 200%

>>18158734
isn't their GDP like 5 ferraris and 200 bowls of pasta per year?
who cares?

>>18158734
again?

(pic unrelated)

>>18158722
>I dont have a lot of money
Anon this is about to be a problem of the past for you.

>>18158734
source?

Do you have any knowledge of what their government revenue, and money in their banking system is?

>>18158540
That's nice to know

Think it goes down below 240 or bounces back up next week ?

>>18158751
True. Last thing you will care about in 2 years will be money

>there are still people clinging to the belief that there will be a v-shaped recovery

>>18158772
i think it'll go down more and i'm liquidating my remaining stocks as well as i can (refuse to sell at a loss) but who knows

>>18158634
Then retrospective statistics are about to be horrifying after it ravages the United States.

think the demand for an arcology would increase because of this?

>>18158713
What happened here? This isn't from the Hiroshima bombing, is it?

>tomorrow it will have been 6 years since I last had sex
what are some good stocks to purchase for these feels?

>>18158798
what furry propaganda is that?

>>18158798
I think the moment the virus peaks you need to buy calls like 2-3 months ahead. I think we'll have a bulltrap at that point since most of the bad news(earnings, unemployment etc) will be, unironically, priced in. Long term we will keep going down until either the virus mutates to be more contagious but less deadly, or a vaccine is found. That would mark the death of the bear market.

But then again I'm on 4chan and not in a financial institution so what the fuck do I know.

>>18158818
bro... now I have to look through 1000 Shinoda Ayumi AVs to find this...

>>18158713
-20000 social points for recording this DELETE THIS NOW YOU WIRR BE VISITED BY PORICE!!

>>18158840
im not sure if i remember right but i think its from a fireworks factory exploding in 2015

>>18158724
>you should unironically hold on to your cash if you hope on luck seeing you through... start making a plan

Thats thing I don't really have a plan
>24 almost 25
>Graduate with an EET degree in August
>$24k student loans
>No experience
>No jobs are getting back to me
>Neither are the internships
I just wanted a nice job and to be able to get a motorcycle this summer. Now I doubt I'll even be able to pay back my student loans thanks to this Kungflu and boomers crashing this economy for their selfish lives.

What would you do in my situation?
If I just sit on the Trumpbux that $500 doesn't really change much. I need a miracle

>>18158818
>>18158867
OPUD-221
you're welcome

Where does smg crank it now that tissues and toilet paper are luxury goods? I need to save money in case these times get dire and I can’t buy anymore stocks.

>>18158662
You know that if they intubate you, they RSI you right? And once you're on one you're on a shitton of Propofol and Fentanyl too, right? If you wake up at all, you don't remember it. Extubation sucks though.

>>18158751
So I should just dump all my money in? I want to be rich anons. I’ve had enough of the wageslave life

If I am making short term trades in an IRA (typically week to 3 weeks holds) will I be marked as a day trader? I have made like 500 this way so far.

>>18158914
on my own belly
inside of a girl's bajina

>or use paper towels if its not bedtime yet

>>18158898
>24k in debt
>I want a motorcycle
You will ALWAYS be poor.

So bois how bad are we going to plummet on monday?

>>18158968
Just a level 2 circuit breaker

>>18158968
I hope not. I don’t have enough puts yet

>>18158968
Well, if its not a red week I lost a lot of money :(

>>18158968
it'll be deep

>>18158968
>how bad are we going to plummet on monday?
what did i miss?

td ameritrade or interactive brokers, and why?

>>18158391
This

>>18158955
A cheap one is 3000 max
Life is just unbearable and I just want to go fast. Everyone needs a hobby

>>18157740
^Whats this app again

>>18159053
where are they going??

>>18159094
And then you need a helmet and one of those suit things, and you'll want a bigger bike in 3 years, and then you'll fall and have to pay medical bills and lose your job.
You are a consoomer, stop coping.

>>18159116
into ur bread :)

really though theyre popping out the other end and flying back in

>>18159067
>Nobody has a job
>Companies closed indefinitely
>Definitely not back by Easter
>China's lies are slipping up
>Europe indefinitely closed
>Italy still a dumpster fire
>New York a dumpster fire
>Probably 1 million cases Monday
>50k deaths Monday
>India spiraling out of control
>stimulus already passed wont be enough
>Infinite QE wont be enough
>Negative interest rates
>Bonds are worthless
>Media and Governors suicidal preach "Orange Man Bad"
>Oil better off being put back into the ground
>Curve is NOT flattening
>Mortgages soon to be all default
>Massive inflation imminent
>Bank runs with zero reserve requirements
Basically, everyone is fucked.

>>18159134
>Definitely not back by Easter
Didn't Trump wanted to ease restrictions by Easter?

>>18159125
idk about that dude
>https://www.bilibili.com/video/av6915483/
>8只愚蠢贪吃鸽子在1分钟里被谷物粉碎机吞没绞死的可怕一幕
>"Scary scene of 8 stupid greedy pigeons being swallowed up by a grain grinder in 1 minute"

>>18159134
hahahahahahahahha we're so fucking fucked

i want to be bearish but too many of you retards are. its absolutely going up

>>18159145
Yea, its not happening.

Is this priced in?

>>18158968
Green monday then red rest of the week.

>>18159073
are you going to ask this every thread?

>>18159150
dont worry about it they were priced in

>>18159145

Even if he did these governors aren't going to relax for weeks yet.

>>18159125
>no breaded flying rats
doesnt sound very tasty tbqh famalam

>>18159134
>b-b-but guys, the curve is finally flattening in Italy!
>we're three weeks out, a lot more cases, a lot more people, and it took italy 3 fucking weeks when it was turning into a shitshow to have a flattening
>sporadic outbreaks are still happening in s. korea and china

the economy will be booming in april

>>18159125
the best grain is at the bottom

>>18159166
Yes.

>>18159204
meant to reply to >>18159116

>>18159191
Raring to go!

Why is she so perfect?

>>18159122
>one of those suit things, and you'll want a bigger bike in 3 years, and then you'll fall and have to pay medical bills and lose your job.

Helmets aren't that expensive neither are the suits. A bigger bike is also not that expensive when compared to a fast car. I have run the numbers a bike is far cheaper than a sports car friendrino
>A fall
Thats the only one you got me on

BRK.B has a P/E of 5.4, should I pull the trigger? They're sitting on more cash than God during a massive crash, I wouldn't be surprised if Berkshire came out of this owning Delta and Carnival outright.

>>18158708
If I was in your position (USA), I would put the money into a roth and then stimulate a 401(k) plan with the account. At the least, I would open a small roth, buy an index and then leave it. When you get a 401k, if you have a roth option, whenever you leave, you should be able to roll into your existing roth and then be free to withdraw up to basis assuming that you've had the personal roth for at least 5 years.

>>18159345
I own it, very hard time selling it even when I knew we were going lower, but it’s fucking Berkshire. Trimmed a little and going to buy it back.

I really hope he doesn’t get Carnival unless they can get a bunch of mergers going to eliminate competition in the sector

Cruising isn’t really a good business. I don’t see it having all that much demand in the future. It may still exist but I don’t think it was doing great before this.

>>18159358
Has to be a Roth 401k to roll it into a Roth IRA, or you have to pay a conversion fee or something. Company match as far as I know always done in a standard 401k, so I ended up with a rollover Ira And a boost to my Roth after my last job.

After Monday, will we get a bounce on Tuesday or will we finally start a slow red slide down? I want out of my puts so I can get new ones soon.

>>18159396
there is no escape

>>18159396
It's gonna crab for a while

>>18159134

https://youtu.be/i49BFXhhsiE

>>18159396
if you buy there will be a slow red slide down, if you don't we'll bounce on tuesday AND wednesday

>>18159116
They're fine. Don't worry. Really. They're fine. Go to sleep.

>>18159166
fbi my man

Fuck modern portfolio theory

jerome already cost me 1k, if monday is not deep red that'll be another 4k

>>18159345
>>18159384
>BKRB
Meh? I feel like its way over hyped. Sure, if you got in at the start 20 years ago, you'd be golden. But in the last 5 years, its basically just followed SPY. QQQ is actually the better choice until BKR does something new.

>>18159166
MODS

>>18159166
to old

>>18159166
what is this from

btw does anyone use thinkorswim mobile app? what is the chainlink icon next to the ticker search and how do i unlink a color from a ticker?

>>18159486
this is your own fault though
Jerome is a blind and fair arbiter and executor of overwhelming justice

>>18159529
okay pal

>>18159491
Probably has to do with being one of the top 10 holdings of SPY.

I’m not adding much to index funds here, I think El-Erian is worth listening to. Berkshire is a conglomerate, it’s like owning an etf. Except it’s got a massive stash of cash in case any of its components need rescuing, or it gets any outstanding opportunities.

Buffet has taken a lot of shit for underperforming the index for many years, but I bet that if many components of the indexes start defaulting, they’re going to be severely impacted by it.

Berkshire is more able to protect its components, and add more at bargain prices when everything else is tanking.

>>18159529
>Insiders knew Jerome would print infinite money a week ago
>Blind and fair

>>18159548
completely fair and also priced in

>>18159396
Prepare for a Monday dump followed by pic related all fucking week. If we don't start down strong on Tuesday then it's confirmed.

>>18159134
But I have a job anon

Robinhood is apparently doing maintenance and will be "up before markets open"

Massive crash Monday with Robinhood offline again confirmed

>>18159598
Based

>fucking up and blaming Jerome
Kek
Did you buy puts on companies at 52 week lows while the vix was at record highs?

If you’re buying puts and it’s not part of a hedging strategy or something, you’re just gambling. Now you’re blaming the dealer because didn’t like that last card you were dealt.

Sore losers.

>>18159606
If you bought at 52 weeks lows you were printing all the way down to 150 week lows so I don't know what you are talking about.

>>18159546
The only advantage that something like BKR has is they are deal makers. ETFs and mutual funds are not deal makers. Once we hit bottom, BKRB might be a good bet on getting in on some deals that only they have access to, like buying company debt, getting exclusive bond deals, or other such things normal investors wouldn't know or be able to grab. These types of investments might allow BKR to sky rocket during the com back.

>>18159598
robinhood is such a fucking joke

>>18159181
whoa this is proper brutal. at least the crabs get one shot, or are they already dead when they are chucked on the conveyor?

>>18157889
Just to be clear, the new law negates the 10% early withdrawal penalty.

It is still taxable income upon withdrawal.

Most places wont implement the changes quickly, so i doubt cashing out your 401k on Monday will work how you expect it to.

>>18159491
how much does it cost for premium?

>>18158708
>I either want to make aggressive swing trades or throw it all on a lotto pick option and try to make it big.
You will not make it big. You are not going to take your $500 and turn it into $5,000 (and then $50,000 and then $500,000 and then ...!) by swing trading or trading options or investing in crypto or any other get-rich-quick scheme. It just isn't gonna happen.

If you actually want to do the financially sound thing, take that money and invest it instead of trying to trade.

If you want to larp as a trader, I'm not gonna judge you for it, it's your life. You can get a Robinhood account (or Firstrade, or whatever, people will argue about which but when you're just playing with $500 it honestly doesn't matter) and swing trade a bit. Just understand what you're doing: playing.

If you make any money at all (and understand you may well LOSE money), it won't be much, it will be a pitiful return on the time & energy you put in, worse than if you found part-time work washing cars or walking dogs. The real value will be in whatever you manage to learn from the experience. (And in the fun you have along the way, and hey, it is fun.)

But don't trade options, you'll lose all your money and learn jack fuck all. Maybe in a couple of years you'll be at the stage where that makes more sense than just going to a casino. Maybe.

>>18159616
Depends on the stock.
You know exactly what I’m talking about you’re just being petty about semantics.

These people bitching about Jerome fucking up their “investment strategies” is getting annoying.

>>18159636
It’s BRK or BRKB, and that’s not the only advantage as I already explained.

They have the advantage of having resources to assist their companies rather than letting them go bust. They can manage the companies under them, and if they have to they can micromanage them. An index just lets its holdings go up in smoke as CEO’s bail and the companies that were stretched to begin with fall apart.

The only assistance those companies get is from congress and the Fed. I’m sticking with Buffett as a better manager.

They’re human, they fuck up, KHC was a disaster, but I believe they are highly competent.

>>18159598
does this mean I wont be able to sell my underwater puts to break even?

>>18159661
not only are they alive but they are administered adrenaline beforehand to make sure they are aware of their pain for as long as possible

>>18159672
Interesting. I knew they were talking about including things like that in the relief package. You’re sure it went through with that included?

Pretty sure he’s just talking about moving to cash instead of whatever his allocations are inside his retirement accounts, not removing the cash from the account.

>>18159689
I hear they are bullish in KHC but it seems like such a bad investment. How exactly did thy fuck it up like that?

>>18159689
what if we just make berkshire the new fed

So i went on to the Amazon just now to order some hobby related time killing material to do stuff while being an unemployed dole scrounger. Put thing in cart, go check out, expected delivery: April 25. Surely it's out of stock then, I thought. Try different thing, confirm in stock ship from Amazon. Same story. They must be getting slammed.

>>18159740
priced in weeks ago where the hell have you been

>>18159598
source

>>18159745
Oh I know. I'm not interested in buying the stock. Did not expect a month lead in to orders though. That's wild for them.

>>18159740
They announced it days ago that essential supplies will be prioritized and others will he delayed

>>18159754
Ahhhhh. Okay. Thanks.

>>18159749
I also ordered some stuff from Amazon that was expected late April but I received it about a week and a half later

>>18159749
do you have prime

>>18159764
nay

>>18159519
When you die
MGMT

how you cvcky crvbs feeling about ABT, their new covid test was announced after market close

>>18157659

If the world dumps the dollar as the reserve currency best believe we going Zimbabwe.

>>18159761
Still a good chance you get it within a week. People have been getting packages quickly even though expected date is a month ahead. It's just there as a warning that if something happens they might prioritize something else. Or you can try bundling essentials into your order to trick the system.

>>18159770
wow all of their videos must be wild, i've only seen the one for kids

>>18159772
did they? i've got some ABT since before so that's nice to hear

>>18159598
Why the fuck would you use that shit? It's not hard to get on a real broker.

>>18159768
thats why.

>>18159606
Without unlimited QE manipulation, that trap would have ended after a single green day instead of being a straight up bull run with a clear exit point (after the bill passes or fails). Anyone who lost money expecting a 190 SPY by Friday is right to be pissy. That said, anyone who didn't loss cut by Monday afternoon is stupid, and playing the uptrend through the week should have gotten you back on track. It's only the irrational permabears who lost.

>>18158386

Maybe not. Read about some Roman dude that was going to be thrown into the Colosseum with some lions. He asked to take a shit so he wouldn't shit himself and be embarrassed in death. The guards granted him that and let him go, and while on the shitter he grabbed a towel used to wipe one's ass and crammed it down his throat and successfully asphyxiated himself.

New:
>>18159858
>>18159858
>>18159858

>>18159867
Well done, bobo.(in spanish)

>>18159686
Who are you to give this advice?

Real New:
>>18159892
>>18159892
>>18159892

>>18159548

Everyone knew the money printer was coming, or should have known.