/biz/ - Business & Finance

Machine learning engineer.

(but at a department store RIP)

NEET

>>18009237
manufacturing engineer

painter helper
lawn mower

medical lab technologist

Security. Pretty sure things getting bad is actually bullish for the security sector. Have to protect buildings from pesky youths

Construction Field Engineer ;_;

Chinese Takeaway, im not even Chinese im fucking British

>>18009237
Federal Employee

Could be one of the 1st to go once the government needs to make cuts to pay for virus fighting funds.

>>18009237
Lawyer, but working for the government, so I'm good for now

>>18009237
accountant at a medical devices manufacturer. not ventilators/masks/respirators but i should still be fine.

Enlisted military

>>18009237
Live off passive income and hang out at home while my Korean gf cooks for me and sucks my dick, my life hasn’t changed at all. Knock on wood. Good luck to everyone.

>>18009281
What is your day-to-day like? Once a neural net is set up arent you pretty much done?

Business owner, fucking sucks now

>>18009423
You're mega safe

PhD student

>>18009237
Emergency Onsite Auto Tech

>>18009237
Private Equity Fund Accountant. The funds are still going need to be managed and accounted for regardless of performance, so in that sense I feel safe, but they could easily downsize my team.

>>18009473
I hate it, but I'm also in a pretty good position even afterword so it evens out

>>18009237
> job
> student
lol

>>18009237
Power Systems Engineer

Finance major

Lumberyard Gate House attendant. My province has deemed my workplace an essential service.

Business Analyst at large industrial company

F

I'm a horticultural consultant. I tell contractors what to do, most over the phone.
I feel pretty comfy.

>>18009237
I do lawn and driveway for mostly residential clients. Tons of cancellations and postponed jobs. Really affecting my work. Hope Canada gives out gibs for business owners soon.

>>18009237
>Future college dropout
I'm going to sell weed

clinical trial product manager
already 90% decentralized
worldwide clin trials running for years wont be going anywhere

>>18009237
crack whore

QA Technician. In a bottling plant. I'm okay as long as the government considers producing fruit juice to be part of essential food manufacturing.

Postman indawoods.

>>18009237
E-3 :'^)

Studying chemical engineering atm with the hope of getting into nuclear engineering. Though I'm in Europe and I desperately need to learn a European language otherwise I'm fucked

>>18009237
Cloud Engineer - I still have to go to work even though the state is now on lockdown. I've only just recently started to know how bad things are getting since I self isolate already

>>18009433
lol, why are you bragging about having an insect gf? lmao

quick Food service at intl airport


fuck i used to be in accounts payable

>>18009961
azure?

Grocery store. It’s not a matter of if I get it but when.

>electrical engineer
>work in power industry
>work with transformers
>you all still electricity always

Feels good to have 100% job security

>>18009237
Graphic designer. My workload hasn't changed since going remote.

software developer, just got hired at a new company literally a week ago.

>>18009237
air force, its pretty comfy

>>18009237
auditor at big 4 firm
in bongland

Nurse.
Streetsweeper.
Train driver.

Yes, all of them, at the same time, not losing any.
Doing quarantine feels like doing my daily life, working and sleeping, feels bad.

>>18009237
Geologist


They already let half the office go...

amazon warehouse kek. this place is crazy now. and you know bezos is gonna keep us working till he absolutely HAS to pull the plug.

>>18009423
32 is too old for the draft right!?

>>18009237
Post-doc, but I had a good interview for a 120k/yr job that now looks fucked

Junior doctor

Computer programmer at the gubment

>>18009566
I'm on the GI Bill rn and was medboarded. U made the right choice anon. super safe and cozy for the next year

>>18009237
Wastewater operator

Think they'll suspend the clean water act brah

Factory worker. Still forced to go to work. Cant wait for someone to get infected in there so it finally shuts down.

>>18010156
>Geologist
Dis nigga looks at rocks

first year tax assoc
>>18009557
how'd you get there?

>>18009237
Auditor for a bank.

Ain't going nowhere, my team is critical so we were first to work from home and it looks like it's going to be permanent. Fucking love it. And I'm saving a shit ton by not commuting and can move out if the city, life is pretty good at the moment.

>>18010162
I think they can take officers until 40

>>18010306
It's not as glamorous as it sounds. Basically since the Bernie Madoff scandal there has been a push to have a third party do accounting for funds. I work at a company that does the fund accountant for a large amount of hedge funds and PE firms. It's not especially hard to get hired here. I lucked out in a sense that my client is one of the largest PE firms in the world (for now).

I really only net about 48k (but only started in November) so it's not an immediately gratifying position in terms of compensation, but you can do well if you stick around long enough. I was a tax accountant and made 50k before I came here. Once I get my CPA I plan on leaving.

>>18009237
i studied to become pilot. not enough money to continue studies.
i studied to become aircraft engineer. graduated. couldn't find a job as aircraft engineer.
now work as control quality in a warehouse.
yes, i'm a complete failure

>>18010303
kek'd

>>18010303
>>18010544

>>18010156
What do you even do at work?

And can you explain the difference between igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary rocks?

>>18009237
>law student
Fuck yourself dude. Lawyers are literally some of the vilest scum in existence

>>18009961
what the fuck does a cloud engineer do

>>18009237
wageslaving in the liquour department of a supermarket

since friday we have papers saying that we are critical systemic workers and are allowed to leave the house even on lockdown

Industrial hygienist.

Most of my job is designing and testing fume hoods and bio safety cabinets used for medical research.

>>18009237
FBI Agent.

Electrical/software engineer @ small company & graduate student

If transportation companies i.e. busses and trains stop I'm kinda fucked. Other than that it's fine. I've been working remotely this past week. Only a bit concerned since one airport we're working with is doing pretty badly right now and said they don't for how long they'd be able to pay. On the other hand I'd be one of the last to go.

>>18009618
you are so fucked

>>18010754
Thank you for your service. I'll probably go mental if the alcohol supply gives out and I have to hang around sober in my appartment

>>18010419
Interesting..my goal would be to use it as a stepping stool..

Insurance claims, I’m pretty much GOLDEN since you can’t really have an insurance company without people filing claims. They’re having us all work from home. Get paid to play vidya for 8 hours a day. Comfiest.

>>18010667
>can you explain the difference between igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary rocks?

Yes.

>>18010667

Reports, civ eng, geotech, environmental remediation, geophysics, risk assessment and analysis..and whatever my company can whore me out to.


being in geosciences is a game of being the most flexible.

>>18010683
Based

>Was living through horrible recession in oil province
>Now the fucking recession has a recession
No hope. No escape.

>>18010875
Yeah that's the plan. It's a pretty easy job once you get the hang of it which is both good and bad. Hours are very nice though compared to when I worked in public. 37.5 Hours a week max except for quarter end and the benefits are great.

I work at a warehouse that distributes make up to stores. Yeah im fucked.

>>18009237

Military. With a CBRN background.

I anticipate being sent out to enforce martial law or give aid to civil power within the next few weeks.

Job security doesn’t worry me, but rampant inflation does.

lawyer, 2 years of experience, got laid off last month because of low oil prices but just got a job offer yesterday and likely have another offer coming in this week! Look on the bright side desu

>>18010603
that's what having a culture means

School custodian and getting paid while schools are closed.

>>18009237
Microbiologist at my state laboratory

>programmer at big pharma
sure is nice working from home

Mid-level software engineer at an insurance software company. We have pretty steady revenue that will only be hurt if agencies start closing up shop permanently, which I don't think would start happening without a full 6 months of economic shutdown. Even then I'm not going to be the first fat to be trimmed from our company. I'll start worrying if we're in month 3 without an end in sight.

wildland firefighter. recession proof, fortunately.

>>18010838
you are welcome

you really notice how the people get mentally imbalanced at the moment - shit is fucking crazy

Geotech working for the state. My job has been classed as an essential service.

>Operating room nurse who's capable of running rooms for non-elective surgery

Amount of work has gone down, but I won't get laid off and it's highly likely I won't have to work with COVID-19 patients

>>18009237
>senior software engineer
lol nigga this company doesn't make money it's entirely funded by retarded investment banker bucks like who gives a shit about profits lmao we got like $60 million in funny money a few months ago we're set for a minute

Bankruptcy lawyer

Now hiring

>>18011056
This paying people to stay home is the worthless kind of shit I will need to see abolished before I reelect any of these scum

>>18009237
Airport security. Already out of a job for at least a month come april 1st

Restructuring Consultant

>>18009237
Programmer

Furry porn artist.
Impossible to run out of work.

Clinician

>>18011289
>He's never gotten sick leave
Kek what a bitch

>>18011133
>>I'm safe no one will want me to interact with covies
Yeah, about that Anon...

>>18011290
Should add I get paid for at least the first month tho

>>18011296
Should also clarify, I work for the government. My city is quarantined so I'm working at home.

>>18011289
You're assuming I don't have the vacation and sick time.

Factory that makes parts for the government and medical
The only reason we would shut down is because someone in the factory got the virus.
This is inevitable.

>>18009237
Ivy League student with math degree, graduating this year

I don't have a job yet, what do?

>>18009319
Urban youths

Business owner, 7 companies. Big doubt I could even attempt to sell in a massive financial run so no yayo for me. Hopefully, this will be over in couple of weeks. All good for now. Everyone happy.

>>18011355

Trust me, you don't want an OR nurse to take care of a sick patient. We'd probably be worse at it than the damned PCAs that work on the floor. OR work is all we know and all we're good for in terms of direct patient care. Hell we have some nurses that haven't worked the floor in 35 years

>>18009237
NHS in the UK, in some bullshit back office job. Shits been comfy

>>18011506
How are the hospitals here coping?

>>18011474
Teach math online because I only see Indians these days

>>18011539
What website? Can I even get any normie job at this point?

Doctor

Gonna die wagecucking and saving filthy normies who deserve to die

Infosec Admin

>>18009237
>Operations Analyst for a bank

I should be ok. I'm wishing for some competitors to declare bankruptcy and get fucked.

>psych nurse
So far none of the patients at my hospital have it

>>18009281
Nordstrom? seattle nigger?

>>18010156
same lol. im good tho

>>18009237
marine corps, in training.

feels like im being babysat by the government and being paid to live in the barracks.

>>18009237
>accountant
>specialized in audits of federal money recipients
Yeah I think I should be safe

>>18010056
Same, transmission is where its at.

>>18011531
I wouldn't know, I work in logistics and supply chain. I think they have enough beds for the time being but in a week or two there's going to be a massive problem

>>18011649
>>psych nurse

I don't know how you motherfuckers do it

>>18011649
>psych nurse
Weirdest psych ward stories, anon?

>>18009237

Physician

Police Officer. Ultimate job security.

>>18010699
It's a new age Sysadmin for Public Cloud (AWS, Azure, GCP)
Also Software Development Engineer for Amazon already was WFH though

>>18009237
furry porn artist.

all the coomers cumming to me in their time of need and isolation

>>18011753
It's actually pretty based. I typically spend half my shift just shooting the shit with patients and staff. You kind of get immune to the crazy shit you see and hear.

>4th year med student
>just matched into orthopedic surgery residency two days ago
>tfw with all the doctors that will die during this coronavirus thing my lifetime earnings will probably increase by at least 50%
sittin pretty boys

>>18011301
based!

>food service

>>18009237
NCR ranger

>>18010699
they control the weather, google "HAARP"

I'm a web programmer.
Working from home and we're getting more traffic right now.
But if ad revenue implodes we're fucked.

healthcare, and it's extremely slow at the moment, what with nobody leaving the house and people cancelling elective procedures, etc.

Anticipating a big swing back up in a couple weeks though.

>economy student


hahaha fuckers

Biopharma R&D Engineer specialized in pligonucleotides.

My boss already told me that is a vaccine gets approved it's all hands on deck to pump out as mich of that shit as humanly possible.

Demand planner for consumer cosmetics

Software Tester...
for a health company who develop coronavirus tests.

>>18009237
> Logistics manager with experience in moving the most critical medical and industrial equipment with the utmost urgency, to frivolous retail
I'll be fine just fine

>>18011934
*oligonucleotides

>>18011562
Make YouTube videos or something, I see people talking about how much better they are than teachers and they're usually right. You can probably do something like streaming live on Twitch or whatever and doing problems live like Calculus problems before the AP Exam. I don't know how much money you'd get if any since it's kind of a niche market.

Book Publisher

>>18012033
>books

ooof that's going to be tough.

>>18012096
Plenty of people will be buying E-books during the quarantine I guess

>>18009441
99% of what I do is arguing with mouthbreathing retards. Honestly there's very little machine learning involved and it's all pretty tiring.

>>18011650
Kohl's.

im a whole life insurance broker

>weed dealer

Business is good
I expect for a lot of sales once everyone gets their gibs

Government employee with a comfy work from home position

>>18009932
>getting into nuclear engineering

HA

You're fucked even if COVID19 didn't exist.

>>18011660
Anon , that's exactly what's happening to you

>>18009806
you're okay, government will consider everything else non-essential before it starts considering any food production at all non-essential

Commercial Finance Analyst in one of the world’s top 10 top car manufacturing company.

Junior ERP Consultant for a pretty big company in Italy. The job is pretty safe but a lot of our clients are temporarily shutting down.

>>18009932
Nuclear engineering has no jobs, you will end up a chemical or electrical engineer with a worthless degree and worthless school projects

kek, I was wondering if there's any telegram group where we organize to invest and talk about politics and shit? I'm really interested in your plans right now.
>mfw SHF

Biomedical engineering research assistant
I think I'll be alright

automation engineer, specifically for factories/plants/manufacturing/etc. i am not worried, thank god

>>18012639
dove in italia? ho frequentato bocconi per un semestre anni fa

>>18012658
your post is retarded, plus I have a terrifying suspicion that you think nuclear engineering is that thing Homer Simpson does.

>>18009237
kek, I was wondering if there's any telegram group where we organize to invest and talk about politics and shit? I'm really interested in your plans right now.
>mfw SHF

>>18009237
ML engineer. I'll sell my soul to the devil himself Jeff Bezos and work on his drone army in the building.

>>18009296
>>18009297
>>18009326
>>18009362
>>18009600
>>18009618
>>18009643
>>18010034
>>18010093
RIP

>>18010115
KPMG? God all the top 4 auditors are intolerable

>>18009237
Oil and gas fracking
JUST

Linguistics student

>>18012745
Vicenza, ho fatto solo un anno di universita` per un corso di laurea in informatica, poi ho abbandonato gli studi per dedicarmi a tempo pieno al lavoro, speriamo che questa situazione si risolva quanto prima possibile.

>>18012925
Lol. When would I need this knowledge?

Btw it is interesting stuff knowing where all the languages come from!?!

>>18011660
>what is a standing army

>IT in the oil and gas field

Finance major. Ended up converting my math minor to a major as well since this could get fucked. Interning in a bank's risk department this summer so should be interesting

>>18013044
At this point banks' risk management departments must be all weird cultists praying to the FED and doing animal sacrifices hoping that they get bailed out because seriously no bank has any serious risk management to speak of. Is this what you learn in finance?

>>18011802

Correctional officer

Mandatory meeting with all staff tomorrow. Jail population reduced by half over night. Mandatory days off.

This shit is only starting.

police transcriber

>>18009237
Work in the oil industry

Still have my job but 99% certain it's over, already moved in with my parents and planning the summer helping my mom grow vegetables lol

Patent Attorney. My job is completely safe. Working remotely too.

>>18009237

Police officer. I'll have a job but probably get strung up from a lamp post during the civil unrest. Would rather be a farmer, desu.

>>18009394

Actually the government will probably be the only employer after the economic collapse.

>>18013151
Just join the the riot when it hits a certain fever pitch or refuse to show up and stay indoors.

>>18009488
same. genetics at an ivy. high class welfare
also
>sauce

>>18013025
Rip in peace anon.

>>18013096
The role is in credit risk so most of the work is ensuring compliance with credit accounting standards (the newest regulation is being postponed to this summer kek). Who knows what fuckery goes on beyond that. It's supposed to be mainly statistics work which is less retarded than what my school's finance curriculum focuses on, which is majority equity investment related

>>18010919
>Insurance claims, I’m pretty much GOLDEN since you can’t really have an insurance company without people filing claims. They’re having us all work from home. Get paid to play vidya for 8 hours a day. Comfiest.

Oh no, my nigga. You don't know? Most of the money an insurance company makes for themselves comes from investments. Market go down, they lose all their money and go belly up.

Source: my sister is an executive for a large casualty insurance company and says they're losing a lot of money.

>>18009237
Materials science processing engineer

We have quite a few government contracts so running out of work isn't a problem. They've trained me too much to just let me go....right

>>18011022

At least you'll be fed and have a place to stay. The day they can't feed you is the day America goes belly up.

>>18011008
Alberta about to go unironically 30% unemployment

>>18013179
kek this. i don't see a way out of this that doesn't include adapting something closer to the Chinese model.

>>18009237
I was a teacher. Just lost my job Friday.

>>18009237
$145k software engineer at a Healthcare IT company. Was a pretty cushy job even before because I'd go in an do maybe an hour or two worth of work throughout the day, and spend the rest of my time reading manga or shitposting on 4channel.org. My ONLY complaint was having to go into an office every day and deal with normies. Well now that my company is requiring everyone to work remotely it's basically the perfect goddamn job. Got mine

>>18013180
>Just join the the riot

Too White

>refuse to show up

Then you're fired if everything blows over. It's a tough choice.

gemstone and mineral dealer
i dunno bros

chemical engineer, pretty okay i guess

>>18010156
lol @ geocucks

>>18010297
Nice, where located how big pay?

Water systems operator

>>18009237
Parts changer at a dealership theres no more technicians

Weekend Cloud engineer, pretty secure

Alright we got some answers, now what would you guys recommend to a zoomer to go into in this hellish world? One anon said electrical engineering, that sounds nice.

>>18010303

They're minerals!

Radar analyst for military.
Unless kung flu can take out ICBMs, I should still be okay.

>>18010683

Such a gay meme. I remember when my boomer boss threatened me at work (I was 17). I walked out, got a lawyer and he sent my boss a letter threatening to sue unless he provided an acceptable working environment.
Boss just stfu'd and paid up my wages.
Best 200 bucks I ever spent. Took the guy one phone call. Lawyers are based.

>>18012997
The glowies have a whole bunch of linguists and mathematicians for breaking cryptosystems.

Mortician
I feel like a jew...

work at a non profit

currently getting a full 40hr work week check to stay home due to the corona at minimum until May

can continue on until next year
or until i die in 50 years

my non profit is worth tens of billions

>>18010419
Imagine being some 48k/year back office wagie at a PE firm where the chad analysts and associates are all making 4-10x that. Absolute c u c k.

grocery, 70 hrs 7 days a week

>>18013384
sauce on anime?

I work at lowes in their pro-service department

>>18013778
Koisuru Asteroid, breddy gud

Journeyman lineman. I'm good.

>>18010919
>>18013270
I'm on underwriting. the books are thinning out. good smaller accounts are all closing up, and a good portion are because doors are closing. these small accounts are great with limited losses and are going to spike rates in the next few years because everything else is less profitable. Claims is going to suffer proportionally to the firm, underwriting as well.

>Aircraft Dispatcher

Plot twist: I work for a cargo airline and we're actually way up in revenue the last 2 months because it turns out people need supplies during a pandemic.

>>18013813
thanks

>>18010156
Right here senpai. Oil and gas geo. Got like 20 coworkers sitting at home already. Will be my turn soon.

>>18010162
>32 is too old for the draft right!?
You can enlist up to 35 in all but i think the Marines which caps at 29. Just do air force or navy. They dont even train sailors to shoot a live weapon now. You will literally just sit on a boat for 9 months.

quit my job at the bitcoin market top at 14k

my unemployment ran out the first week of february

can't get a new job because the economy is effectively shut down.

fml.

Cryptocurrency speculator

Machine technician for an agricultural processing plant. We've been working six days a week, 10 hours a day for two weeks with double overtime. Our demand has never been higher. People gotta eat. I got our yearly profit sharing bonus and it was great, still deciding on what to invest it in while stocks are low.

Feels good man.

Mech engineer here, I'll be fine unless the company goes under. I'm one of the few who's actually productive.
It's becoming clear to me how many useless people work at my company tho.

>>18010297
Nice, my dad has been in it for 20 years with the city I grew up in. He's worried about everyone else besides himself but I told him my company is actually making money right now. When the pandemic eases and people don't need med supplies and food anymore in such quantities then I might be in jeopardy.

>>18010458
Should've been a Dispatchchad.

>>18014029
A lot of people are just planning on not paying their rent.

xray tech

I was working at a pretzel factory while I was looking for a job for my CS degree, but was fired just a couple weeks before this.

lmao I'm fucked

>>18009237
>Accounting student, leaning towards tax, end goal is forensics

Medical Scribe. I’m expecting the storm. Might die. Is it a good idea to just buy cheap airliner stocks in the hope we recover

Government contractor (web developer)

Meh, not as good as a gov employee but our biggest customer is the government.

Fab engineer (I design part of the process that makes computer processors)

electrician-maybe I can stop having to work so much OT now

Data Entry (work from home)

>>18009237
>City Engineer

lol

>back office rep at a large financial firm

We have never been busier.

>>18009237
R&D Chemist. At least 85% of my company's chemical sales are to oilfield service companies.

>>18010156
Godspeed, rock doc.

Alarm/Camera/Smart Home Company owner.

I'm small fry so most sales are generated from door to door. Needless to say, I need to find a new way to generate leads at this point.

>>18011355
>covies

>>18009237
>bookie
Just need games to come back and I should be fine.

>>18009237
Self employed prospector. I am set for this summer!

lighting technician

>>18010156
o man i am so sorry, better get prospecting

>>18009237
Logistics - and the two 60+ year olds who supervise (on and off given recent events) teamed up with the 30~ worker (a women's basketball assistant who needed the extra dough) to kick all the student workers out.
Kinda hope they get the virus. It's like smiling in my face like we're friends and then indirectly telling me that accounting doesn't have it in the budget to keep us all paid during these times.
They're just as petty as the zoomers I work with. Hopefully with increased sales at my hometown job my boss will let me come back earlier than Summer where I get paid more anyway. And it's not even an essential job in the slightest.

Reminder that the Great Depression lasted for TEN YEARS.

Are you prepared?

Software Dev. Business as usual. Except working from home.

>>18014466
90% of the population isn't prepared

>>18009237
concrete finisher

Welder, mostly do sanitary stainless. Not worried at all

Stocker at pet store, we're considered essential apparently and were understaffed so im working more than usual

>>18009237
>Military pilot
I'm not even working right now, literally just accepting a paycheque like some glorified welfare recipient, using the time to work on myself and start side hustles

Investment manager for a bank

I started last week bros, shit is brutal

>>18014466
9 oz gold
600 oz silver
1 oz platinum

8 BTC
6 BCH
6 BSV
32 ETH
20 LTC
5000 XRP
1000 LINK

Getting as prepared as I can be, stacking metal every chance I get

Analyst in the intelligence space. Only a graduate though, so I'm definitely not essential

SEO. I'm busier than ever.

cut this shit (steel)

>>18009394
>government
>cuts
>ever

>>18014156
Chest X-rays bro, you'll be good

>>18009237
I'll be resuming my bachelors studies in political science this september. I suppose my job prospects were already pretty low to begin with but I don't care, if I can't write for a think tank or something satisfying like that then I'll just fuck off with my savings to a 3rd world country or continue gambling on the market for a living as I'm doing now.

civ engineering unironically thinking about getting into coding, in about to lose my job soon

Design Engineer for Industrial Products

As long as farmers need tractors we should be ok, layoffs certainly incoming.

>>18009237
Project Manager for a NYC GC. Considered essential during this BS and still going strong.

Engineer and contract manager for a defense contractor. All good in this hood

>>18009237
SDE at a FAANG company but not an important division

>>18014156
same bro
busy and risky months ahead of us
when hospitals start overflowing it wont matter where exactly you work, we'll be doing chest x-rays and/or ct's anyway

>>18014658
Did you forget FDR confiscated gold during the depression?

Service writer at big toyota dealership. They've already laid off the entire sales staff. They're cutting or hours and we havent hardly seen any visitors for about 2 straight weeks. I'm toast.

Solo indie game dev. I'm as fucked as I've always been

>>18009237
Retail worker :) enjoy the lower class faggots

>>18009237
specialized software dev. been working from home for the last few decades. I dont notice a thing.

>>18015034
Hence the crypto hedge as a hail mary. Anything's better than fiat. Besides, what gold, I lost it all in a boating accident

>work in a gun store
>business is booming, making monthly sales figures in a single week, work is super steady
>only threat is government closing down stores and non-essential services to enforce social distancing which is only a matter of time
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'm one of the few people I know who haven't been shut down yet but I feel like it's only a matter of time. At least I've got boomer bosses who take care of their employees I suppose

>>18009423
>>18009473
>>18010249
I'm halfway through my first contract and if/when things get worse, commissioning is my ace. I have huge marketability and all the guys that have separated are making bank, but the past doesn't tell you shit about the future.

>>18012757
>>18012693
A-are you... are you a genuine fbi agent on his first day of work?

>>18015204
be a door to door gun seller

times are hard

>>18009237
>graduated as computer engineer 8 months ago
>just got to end of savings, got job with government across the country
>someone in my office got sick and whole building quarantined
>supposed to fly April 1 and stay in a hotel for a few days
I might just off myself before the flight

>>18009281

Is the market dead? I took Andrew Ng's class, then realized I didn't need to and it's all out-of-the-box on GCP/Azure.

>>18015283
I live in a Commonwealth nation unfortunately, and our gun laws are absolutely fucked meaning that is entirely out of the question unless I want to get fucked in prison by some glowing detectives with the Federal Police.

IT for a company that designs and manufactures clean rooms. Business is booming.

>>18012922
>Former KPMG and PwC tech consultant
>100% job security having them on my resume
>But I'm actually a piece of shit employee

>>18012757
>>18012693
glowing brighter than the fucking sun, newfed

>>18009237
I design luxury commercial airline interiors.

>>18009237
Automotive embedded software engineer..

>>18011856
Me too am a cook who makes minimum wage .

>>18013704
The worst part is I'm not even in a PE firm. I'm at a company that services PE firms and hedge funds. It's an easy job but nobody actually chooses to be back office, anon. Usually they choose it out of desperation, like I did due to being unemployed for 4 months. If I could be a front office chad I would. My goal is to get out of fund accounting in general once I get my CPA.

Network Architect for a large hospital. I'm pretty safe but my high salary could make me a target if things get bad.

>>18009237
29 year old dish washer at a big hotel. no college degree no other skills.

hotel is closed and i have no idea if i am still employed or not.

>>18014432
top kek

Firefighter-Paramedic
If it gets really bad I’m stealing my SCBA kek

>>18012885
Horticulture is a primary industry which has been classed as an essential industry. As I said, I'm comfy af

Project coordinator in construction management

>>18009488
I cooomed

>>18009237
grocery store

>>18009600
kek your fucked

>>18010603
wut dat mean? give me your money

>>18015365
I'm more of an applied mathematician.

>>18009600
bad news: you have to get your CPA

Small industry accountant who got laid off a week before shit hit the fan. Got hired at a new place that started working remotely just before onboarding me. I'm fucked.

>>18015743
Well once you get licensed, do whatever you can to get into TAS and hope to god an IB will give you a look. Otherwise you're doing the insane hours at a fraction of the pay.

IT manager for a hedge fund in Manhattan lol, NO idea when I'll ever see the office again but holy shit not commuting from CT is a dream come true

Medication Aide .. I prepare and administer drugs to patients .. cheap LVN baka ..

>>18009237
I teach english in China, and it seems like the safest place to be right now. Free rent and paid during all this shit, paid holidays, and I work 10 hours a week.

I'm just sitting here laughing, buying up Chinese coins like SUTER because I know China will reveng pamp.

>>18009237
Cashier at Lowe’s. Hardware stores like us are considered essential so I’ll be ok for now.

Costco wage cuck
Won’t be long til all my coworkers infected desu

>>18009237

Self-employed copywriter

Income dropped about 40% last week, still made more than enough

Not fucked at all hahahahahaha

>>18010156
>>18010931
geo undergrad, how badly am i fucking myself here
pretty nervous ngl

>>18016095
how many rotisserie chickens have you been able to fit inside of your asshole

ups hazmat

hospitality worker in the rockies

Train driver

Grubberment salary so if they shut down services I'll be getting paid at that point I'll be scouring the stock market sunrise to sunset

>>18012997
I studied theoretical linguistics in college, absolutely no data science or comp ling, just fucking syntax trees and the IPA.

The way you get a job is lie and say you did computational linguistics. Almost nobody in small to midsized financial services firms and funds know what that entails, just that AI = $$.

(This information is only valid in a bull market)

t. VC analyst about to reach full unemployment

Operations coordinator at a legal support startup. I'm fucked if the government imposes a lockdown. At least I can cash in my 8 days of PTO.

>>18010419
I'm guessing you aren't in public accounting in that case, you're probably one of the fund administrators/custodians in the middle?

Hospital coding

Currently in college but mom is a court reporter. The lockdown is what messing us up.

Big 4 public accounting, wish me luck, incoming layoff I'm sure.

>>18016182
wait so like, what is your job? and explain it to me like i'm a golden retriever

>>18016252
I handle the entire indirect due diligence process for our smallish fund.

Which means,

I google public records and voodoo financial projections for startup companies that have never made a profit while the gen x partners go to Jackson Hole to get shitfaced and ski while 'deal sourcing'.

I have no misconceptions that my job is essential or even very productive, I know it's not, it's pretty fun and the pay is decent.

Forklift operator

>>18012693
Fucking glowniggers not even trying anymore

>>18015977
Where are you from in CT? Bridgeport here. This state is fucked and I'm unironically considering moving away if I lose my job.

Do you think the hedge fund will go broke? Or did they short and make bank?

>>18016485
I live in Norwalk. Well, I'm sure we got crushed with futures because no one expected the oil shit with Russia and Saudi Arabia, but we invest in a LOTTTT of different industries. I won't say exactly what because I'm a bitch and it would probably give the company away, but we have our fingers in so much shit the company won't go under - that is an absolute guarantee. I think my job is pretty safe, I manage 9 people on the SysAdmin team and I'm fairly confident I wouldnt get cut if there were layoffs, but again I think we're hedges so decently that even if one department or strategy shits the bed, risk analysts would have set us up for survival. We don't have like 200 million assets under management, we're in the very high billions.

What do you do?

>>18016567
Oh dude that's sweet. Hope it works out and your fund can keep running. High billions makes me think Dimensional Investing.

I work as a paralegal for a law firm. Legal field is awful but I want to go study law (for free if possible) so I can be an attorney for the SEC or IRS. The amount of scummy shit I've seen makes me think I need to repent somehow.

>>18009237
GIS, just started a new job and now I have to learn how to do that job while working from home. I’m so fucked

>>18016693
Yeah we'll see when the quarterly profit/loss statement is posted lol. Is your law firm around Bridgeport? IRS attorney sounds like a cushy af job.

>>18016778
>Is your law firm around Bridgeport?
Yeah. It's like scraping the bottom of the barrel for clients, but all people need legal representation in due time.

The dream is to go to law school, but if I can't go for free/real cheap I'm not going to go. I've seen too many attorneys that are 5-10 years down the line and they still have their law school debt. It's insane.

>>18009237
Law clerk.

I just started my job a week ago and probably can’t take the bar until next year.

>>18013025
So it's not just shale that's going to get assraped?

>>18014189
So how'd you get fired from a pretzel factory?

>>18009237
gamer

>>18009237
i work at a supermarket online distribution centre. I have the most secure job in the country