/biz/ - Business & Finance

FUD

SDOW calls to the moon

>>18006938
WHEN DOES DOW FUTURES OPEN YOU TOLD ME IT WAS GOING TO OPEN SOON BIZ, WHERE IS MY OPEN

fuck tripfags

Just give it to me straight /biz/, what do i need to buy to maximize profit off of this situation

The bottom is 1700 S&P

>Delayed stim package
Yup, we going deep red boys

Economists are predicting 18 months of disruption. Guess it's time for the socialist revolution.

Pence will have coronavirus
Rand Paul has coronavirus
50 state lockdown by EoM
100,000 American cases by EoW
DOW 10,000

I preferred the Dandy Lion

>>18006977
short oil

>>18006977
10x margin SDOW

We sure do go through these quickly these days...
Used to be the thread from friday night would still be active all the way until the opening of the futures and New zealand market.
Hey start including the market clock in the general post in the future.
https://market24hclock.com/#_
It'll let the new kids know when and what market is open.

This virus is going to be fantastic for the economy. All those Tyrones and Shaquitas that HR drones hired cuz muh diversity? Gone. Businesses use the virus as the excuse to lay everybody off and when the smoke clears Tyrone and Shaquita never make back on the payroll. Profit

>>18006977

Buy low sell high :^)

How the fuck do you guys do this for a living when the market isn't shitting the bed? If it weren't for TVIX moving at $100 an hour I wouldn't be making shit.

All right, lads, serious question: do any of you actually expect "the market" to recover from this?
At the very least, have you diversified into cash/PMs/crypto/land?
There's a lot of talk about where all of this is headed, and not much of it is optimistic.

>>18007015
The forbidden technique

>MONDAY

>>18006971
In an hour and a half or 6pm EDT.
Just calm down. You're not going to see too much on a sunday afternoon. It's turning to mostly forex trading for the next few hours. Which is fun as shit to get in on. It takes very little and you can make a small killing.

""""5"""" minutes until the president speaks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HotAd5fC8U

>>18006938
>9 months
>emergency stops right after the election

What a coincidence.

Are futures open yet?

>>18006977
calls on biotech companies

>>18007027
The market will eventually recover but it might take a literal decade to get back to 30,000. Anyone bagholding shit they bought in January is a literal retard who deserves to lose money. That said, we're at least halfway down, so start buying cheapies.

What brokerage account should I get to participate in the massive shorting on Monday?

>>18007019
Forex trading gives you plenty to work with. If you get into day trading (You need at least 25K to do so) then you begin having afternoon and morning sessions you work hard and then relax until other markets begin opening. But forex is a constant game you can play if you want to work the full breadth of the market.

>>18007027
There will probably be a lot of people who want to continue business as usual, but there will also probably be a gigantic push for robotic manufacturers in the USA.

>>18007059
you wish

THREADLY REMINDER:

-50% GDP DROP FOR Q2
30% UNEMPLOYMENT

IT MIGHT BE FUCKING OVER BOYS

>>18006980
>S&P index at 1700
>Putting £20,000 into an accumulated S&P total market index
>Watch it go to the moon after the recovery.
What a time to be alive lads.

>>18007075
I might look at that to. It's not looking like I'm cut out for stonks.

>>18007075
Yeah but who fucking wins at forex?

>THREE MINUTES UNTIL TRUMP SPEAKS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HotAd5fC8U

>>18007059
6pm EDT.
New Zealands market is about to open as well.
https://market24hclock.com/#_

>>18006977
Look out for companies producing anything corona related.
Mainly for drug treatments and so forth.

Scan outlets of info and etc and see who's doing what in terms of new treatments/ vaccinations. You'll earn plenty by doing this

>>18007070
>>18007076
I wish you lads well.

>>18007027
>>18007076
If the virus is around long enough robots will be forced in to take over everything. It will be a good thing though as we wont need China to produce everything then. We just have robots in Pennsylvania or Nevada pump out everything.

>>18007039
>You're not going to see too much on a sunday afternoon.

M-monday it is

>>18007106
I think your problem is strategy and you're getting caught up in the threads flow which adds to nervousness.
How are your fundamentals on the stock market and entry and exit strategies?

>>18007019
Dude the VIX is pretty much maxed out in my opinion, most of us here are making money on SPY puts, and puts on other stuff like foreign countries like Japan, Italy, India, any European country at this point really, and companies like Apple and Disney, money can be made in both directions too, you just have to time it right.

>>18007120
Likewise. Hope we all make it. Unfortunately I never got around to buying firearms so hopefully it doesn't get too bad.

Why do stock exchanges close? Why can't I trade on Sundays?

>>18007103
>Massive Unemployment, your family calls you for financial support
>High crime rate, you get robbed
>Stocks never rise, you find yourself jobless and poor
>The socialist protests begin, you sell what you can
>You find yourself on the street

>>18006977
Honestly, if you have no investing experience put everything into a S&P500 accumulated index fund. You've got around 6-12 months max to make a move on this. Once you've put it in there, forget about it and let compounding do it's things.

If you have a job, put a standing order to add to the pot over time. Profit in 30-40 years.

>>18007057

>"MUH ORANGE"

>>18007159
traders need time off too anon

>>18007170
If it gets to that point, we're all boned anyway.

>>18007181
Probably the only good advice this board will ever give you.
Only thing better would be to diversify and look for other broad based index funds to invest into.

>>18007159
Because people want to go home and go to bed. There's no good reason for the exchanges to be open 24/7. Use the down time to read and study and go over the market reports for the past week. This also gives you a hell of an opportunity to set up your strategy for the coming week.

>>18007159
because its not crypto which is open every day. you made your choice

What will they call this? The Corona Crash? Great Depression II?

>>18007146
I usually buy when a candle's body is above the SMA line and sell when a candles body is below it. I also take into consideration the meme resistance and support lines. I actually don't watch the thread while I'm holding stonks. I think whats fucking me over is I am quick to cut my losses when it looks like it's going below were I bough it

>>18007147
I don't hold it expecting it to go up. I buy it when it drops to $400 then sell it at $600.

When does the liar in chief talk again.

>>18007181
>thinking anything resembling modern civilization will be around in 30-40 years

So what are the chances that Trump will halt stock trading? Asking for a friend.

anon, the only way to cure you is if i suck the corona out through your penis

Any thoughts on what happens Monday?

>>18007227
The Big One

>>18007240
Literally any minute. It was scheduled to start at 4:30pm EDT. As usual he's late

>>18007209
SWPPX,SWTSX,SWISX + 12 stocks

>>18007227
Trump's Dumps.

>>18007209
FTSE 100 is hilariously undervalued at the moment, so might be worth putting 25-30% into there. With perhaps 10% into US treasury bonds However for long term gains, you can't beat the American economy. Just a powerhouse.

>>18007258
big line go down

>>18006938
Looking at UUP... Any ideas as to where it'll go?

Is 'normal' life officially over? Are things never going back to the way they were?

>>18007258

>>18007258
If they manage to pass the trillion dollar stimulus you might see a modest bump and then a big, big dump later this week.

>>18007181
Expecting people to wait 30-40 years for Profit when people have the attention span of goldfish nowadays kek

You're not wrong but most people are to short sighted for that.

So what has /smg/ done with their ETFs?
I'm about 3k+ down on my ETFs and didnt set up a stop loss.
Did you keep yours? Did you stop loss like a smart monkey? Did you sell at a loss and hope to get good gains when the market goes down?
Is it already too late to pull out?

....This fuckers gonna be late to his own funeral won't he?

Senate will fail to reach a deal by Monday. Stimulus won't pass until late this week if at all.

Blood red market

>>18007297
They better pass it. I want my 2400 bucks

>>18007252
>Not understanding how an index fund works

> Trump speech delayed to 5pm
> Going to still be going when futures open
Fantastic

>>18007306
Expecting the next 30-40 years to replicate the post-war era is equally as foolish.

1945 - 2020 will be considered a relative golden age of humanity compared to what is coming next. Corona is just the beginning. You will not retire.

>>18007103
I put 20k in last week. Bought the wrong dip. Feels bad

>>18007170
>Parents retired
>Work in software and can work from home
>Big company in health care
Probably safe, for now.

>stocks
>the economy
>making just enough money to not get the Trumpbux, but not enough that I don't care about getting an extra thousand bucks or so

>>18007181
>Profit in 30-40 years.
>Dude just work and be frugal 30-40 years
Didnt this crash just show you the idiots who hodl for decades dont end up all that well. They end up losing a lot of their progress.

>>18007333
>The same retarded shit was spouted during the cold war.
Invest in what you want to lad, it's a free market.

If I think food prices are going to moon, are food commodity ETF's a good way to buy food futures?

Can I into food commodity future options if I am a brainlet?

>>18007333

>10 million views for a video of a guy walking around in big shoes
>11k views for the president's announcement of a national quarantine

>>18007325
More likely time line is Senate reaching a deal, the house jews refusing to vote on it, then proceeding to send their own second bill to the senate which will then be shelved in retaliation.

>>18007258
It might be the worst day yet.

futures when in hours and minutes?

>>18007334
better to get the limit down out of your system early

>>18007258
and its just the beginning lad

>>18006971
1 hour 21 minutes

>>18007371
Isn't it also streamed on all news channels and on TV?

>>18007315
Too late to pull out, i'll just suck it up and buy more in 1/2 months.

>>18007258
>another ~14k infected in US
>circuit breaker open
>double digit drop within an hour of open
>single digit drop on close after trump calls a reported stupid at press conference

>>18006938
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2cRhwZawQk

"I am the governor and youuuu obeyyyy!" xD

>>18007371
Nobody watches the actual conferences and stuff. They watch the funny news mans coverage on it.

>>18007365
What's "food"?
Staple grains? Soi beans?

>>18007260
>>18007293
>>18007376
Ugh I can only get so hard guys

>>18007291
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cholera_outbreaks_and_pandemics
Return the norm.

>trump walks out on stage, 30 mins late
>face is tomato red, sweat visible
>coughs once, falls while walking
>audible but low pained scream cut off as stream turns off

>>18006990
Oh fug the quality of corona chan art is getting good.

>>18007291
Unironically yes. This is a 9/11 level event and shit has never been the same since then either. We are dealing with a generational shift of social consciousness.

>>18007371
post the video of the big shoes

>>18007429
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiGKBNGlzHo

>>18007260
this

Ok while waiting for the next foot bullet session let me bring a few things to the new kids attention.
First off: Glad to have you all here. Hope you learn investing fundamentals.
Alright so the thing you have to know is that trading kicks off at 5pm EDT on sundays. That is when the New Zealand exchange opens. Which will be within half an hour. Every 2 or so hours another market will come on and begin trading. An hour into New Zealand trading, the Chicago Mercantile exchange opens for futures trading, then as the night goes on, other forms of trading come online as well.
Attached is the current countdown clock.
Forex markets run 24 hours a day 5 days a week. They tend to be the baseline of how the money markets are doing, which helps determine the overall strength or weakness of a specified currency.
So, keep in mind that trading starts at 5pm on Sunday and runs almost continuously on one market or another until 9pm Friday.
Ok! Enjoy your trading week!

>>18007438
how the fuck does this guy have so much fucking money to throw around?
seriously
as a poorfag, I dont fucking get it

>>18006938
Thread theme song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmQwL6qiByo

>>18007365
>>18007418
Corn, onions, wheat

>>18007438
wait they aren't even running
that video sucks lol
I agree with you that it shouldn't have 10M views

>>18007291
Yes.

>>18007422
I wish/hope that happens.
The shitshow following that would be hilarious.

>>18007414
I stopped listening to him years ago when he began consistently getting his market fundamentals wrong. I gave him a literal minute and I see nothing has changed. He didn't understand liquidity and made the same fucking mistake as sean hannity did a fucking week ago.

No bullshit but in my state there is 99 cases now but just 3 have died. All 3 were older people with underlying issues. The good part is that the county where most of my and my Wife's family live is virus free at the moment. There is just 1 case in the county we live in.

>>18007371
>>18007429
>>18007438
>#1 trending video during a pandemic is a large group of people running a marathon
LMAO WE ARE FUCKED

WHO'S READY FOR THERE PUTS TO PRINT TOMORROW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

So how's tomorrow gonna be?

>>18007106
>It's not looking like I'm cut out for stonks.
Uh forex is harder to trade than stocks. Fair warning. If you thought the difference between what it seems like the market ought to be doing vs what it is actually doing, forex is even worse. This is why it's so TA heavy.

>>18007500
>confirmed cases

Italy is kill and will take the Euro with it.
Which currency to escape to?

SELL $GILD SELL SELL SELLL
https://mobile.twitter.com/FirstSquawk/status/1241828162251550720

>>18007514
Unironically hoping for some bulltard suicides

>>18007514
there will not be a tomorrow

>>18007422
>coughs directly into mic
>wheezes
>coughs again into mic
>"Chyna...uh the virus.....the stock market"
>hacks up glob of blood

>>18007500
There's only been like 12-18 confirmed cases in my state, but my city is also the only one testing, shits going to kick off in the next 2 weeks I'm willing to bet on it

>>18007478
Whats really going to happen...
>Trump walks on stage
>*War Pigs Playing*
>Bat in hand
>"I, The Greatest President in the History of President's, Am declaring war on this Chinese Virus
>*Bites bats head of with blood spewing unto CNNcucks
Greenest monday you've ever seen

>>18007524
or they finally make eurobonds and euro is saved forever.

>>18007181
is VOO a good one or are there better?

>>18007554
Based

>>18006971
It will soon open and I want to know how much will it recover and if not at all I'm officially in for an observation of the masses as of why do they think 2 trillion is not enough to keep spx from tanking. Since the biggest movers are the institutional holders, they are practically going to lend to the US Treasury to keep their other assets growing. Finance is a beauty, especially when run on a such large scale. Buy the dip. This is the way.

>>18007538
Might be a good opportunity to short.

>>18007554
hell yeah
I fucking love War Pigs so much you have no idea

>>18007515
I have given up trying to understand what the market should be doing. I know it's going to go down over time, but there's a ton of manipulation and shit going on. I wouldn't be surprised, hell I'm even expecting, some sort of bull trap this week even though it makes no sense. While day trading though I just watch if the price is actually moving up or down not if it SHOULD be.

>>18007554
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGUNPMPrxvA
Bullish.

>>18007516
I hope to god it don't get to the county our family lives in. Hell my family is all 60+ and hers are all 50+. My granddad is over 90.

>>18007539
same kek

Realistically when do the Saudis turn off the tap causing oil to moon?

>>18007554
What's REALLY going to happen
>Trump walks on stage
>"WE ARE FUCKED. WE ARE FUCKING FUCKED. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE. AS OF THIS MOMENT I AM DECLARING WAR ON CHYNA, FUCK THE BASTARDS AND FUCK THE STOCK MARKET"
>He kicks the podium out into the audience and starts dancing on stage while nuclear warheads rise up behind him

>>18007611
They won't give in easily. They won't stop until they're the only suppliers of oil

>>18007554
>chokes on bat skull
>dies literally on stream
>cameraman doesn't cut off, adjust the camera to point at trump and slowly zooms into him choking
>everyone just watches in silence, nobody helps

>>18007514
1 hour we have an idea.

>>18007611
production can't just be ramped up/ramped down instantaneously. takes weeks to hit the markets, months by the time it gets to the pump

>>18007611
Well, if the demand wasn't so low because of corona then it would have been over a week ago.

>>18007634
They'll go broke before that happens

>>18007611
Not until companies start going bankrupt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDqWkMFPOb0

look at the chat and tell me this world doenst deserve the death of many NPCs

Ok trump is now 25 minutes late to his own press conference.

How red will the nip market be in 3 hours?

>>18007627
New data points for the graph

>>18007611
The point is to bankrupt Russia. Russia is trying to bankrupt us shale. Its not ending for months. Not until whiting, apache, Chesapeake and others declare bankruptcy.

>>18007554
I'm comfy either way~
But a crash seems alot more likely.
Get your popcorn ready for tommorow

>>18007646
They'll wage jihad before they go broke

>>18007563
I am interested in this as well, just setup a Roth IRA recently and pumped my max yearly contributions into a settlement fund. VFIAX looks similar and I'm too stupid to understand the subtle difference between that and VOO

https://mobile.twitter.com/Yuika_Kazami/status/1240941150388621312

WHERE IS MY 2D GF!!!???!!!???

>>18006991
Wat??

>>18007427
I am hoping it puts an end to the open borders globohomo madness but somehow i think that will continue.

>>18007266
>+ 12 stocks
For what purpose?

>>18007695
I think they'll bend the knee before they wage jihad

>>18007659
>Q
>Overt racism.
>Trump praise.
I fucking hate everything.

>>18007659
>WE ARE BROKE & DESPERATE. LOADING THE GUNS. MASKING UP. GOD HELP US.
>tRUMP - LIAR IN CHIEF!!!!!!!!
>GOOD NEWS IS JESUS DIED FOR US

>>18007181
I did it last week, did I jump the gun?

>>18007710
>Hey guys, what is diversification of your portfolio?
Please, visit the link for boomer investing 101

>>18007611
it's not saudi, its russia. Bin Salman is a hot head playboy who has fucked up on every occasion. Putin and Iran will easly fuck him over again if USA doesnt step in again. but usa seems flustered. wouldnt bet on this to be over for months at least

>>18007554
>>18007554
Kek these bull delusions are just getting sad really

AAAAAAA
NOT RAND PAUL!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOO

>>18006938
hows it feel knowing the Jewish Stock Market is tanking?

Can't wait to dump my trumpbux into the market

>>18007738
Did you miss the three index funds?

Alright everyone!
First market is now open! Here's to a fun and interesting trade week! You forexers are gonna have a hell of a time!

>>18007723

>>18007568
Kek, ,more in red than green

Bull delusions as always

I smell a bloody monday

INVEST IN WATER NOW

>>18007771
It won't be a third red Monday in a row.

>>18007563
Personally I'd steer clear of ETFs. They're more for short term investments (weeks in relation to time & speculative), rather than investing. It's for people who understand markets. I'd go for traditional index funds.

>>18007781
Does it have elictrolites?

>>18007784
kek, your calls are fucked

>>18007784
>betting against the market maker
this is why you're poor

Livestream soon
https://youtu.be/2HotAd5fC8U

>>18007771
Rand Paul is all but dead. Anime gfs aren’t here yet. The MERKEL is in quarantine.

You’re a sick man to enjoy this.

>>18007781
AAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>18007500
Alberta is doing pretty good on the infected:ded ratio. 226 cases, 1 kill. As of yesterdays data release. Community transmission curve is shallow for now.

the fate of america rests in NZDOWs hands

>>18007790
would VFIAX be your recommendation then?

>>18007784
Anon... there's already been three red mondays in a row

>>18007784
it absolutely will.
equinor just called of their dividends. not sure if you still have time to short them in the us

>>18007727
Not at all, you'll look at the fund again in a year and laugh. It might even take 2-3 years but you've definitely bought at the right time. If it drops further, buy more.

Alright there is a nice large spike immediately with CAD/USD. Look at those orders going in!

>2 minutes late

FDJT.

>>18007784
Yes it will retard, what's with people suddenly pretending the market isn't driven by literally the only news story in the world?

I bet you thought Feburary was a great time to buy.

>>18007781
You mean Nestle

>>18007819
I'm a europoor, trying to figure this shit out, looking for a combo that I can readjust quarterly to set up for my parents. I read about the TQQQ/UPRO 60% and 40% TMF combo. But I found a post on WSB yesterday that made my skin crawl of a dude who got his 1,180,000 position liquidated during the crash last month. So I'm not so eager to use it as I don't want to jump out of the window when the market spikes again and I get fucking liquidated.

>>18007580
>>18007538
Wat?

>GILEAD SAYS SUSPENDING REMDESIVIR ACCESS \"DUE TO AN OVERWHELMING DEMAND OVER THE LAST SEVERAL DAYS\"

>>18007784
Yea it's gonna be the fourth

>>18007811

>half hour late

Why would there be a bounce of such magnitude off thedrop?
I keep seeing posts about 210 bottom, 250+ rally right after
what the fuck, we only have bad news

>>18007832
You're talking as if Tuesday and Thursday weren't at least a bit green despite no good news then either.

>>18007828
What about bond indexes?

>>18007659
>click link
>Cuomo speaking
>Federal government should nationalize medical supply acquisition
>Companies can make these things if the federal government orders them too.
>Order factories to make these things
>If the federal government did it, it would be very orderly
>They could measure how many supplies they need
>Tell how many each factory should produce
>Then distribute them by need instead of competing
Wait what? Democrat mayor of NY wants to make Trump king of Communist America?????

>>18007879
jews

uh, guys? why isn't the futures ticker moving?

>>18007879
If you think the stock market reflects reality 100% of the time I know for a fact you haven't been here for more than a few months

>>18007868
Azn girls are core /biz/ holdings

Are they any europoor stocks worth holding? Like BP, Shell, Ferrari?

>>18007856
Dude don't ever use leveraged etf until you understood how they works, just go VWCE and VAGF if you're euro.

TRUMP DELAYED UNTIL 5:30

WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>18007159
Boomer traders can't hang like us

>>18007905
they're not open yet you fucking retard

>>18007372
>Senate
>>18007325
>Senate

Both sides think they can stall and play this thing to their advantage, they forget, that in a democracy, there is always a thrid option.

After all the doomsaying headlines, unemployment, etc... if they fail to reach a deal, it will trigger all three breakers.

How will people even attend the NYSE tomorrow? Isn't that place always packed to the brim?

>>18007920
he's dead, isn't he? they're trying to get his body double on stage

>Angel Merkel is in a two day quarantine
Dax in freefall?

And already we are seeing some volatility on the forex market. Following USDCAD for now but will switch over to USDJPY here in a bit.

>>18007719
>WAAAAAAH STOP BEING RACIST
Fuck off, CHUMP

>yfw Trump lets out a big coof

Hey bizfags, someone opened a Robinhood account using my email. Whate the fuck is this? It even got approved immediately. Looking at log in records show that no one logged into my email. How the fuck is this going on? Is Robinhood pulling something? Is there any way to close an account I didn't even open? I have no interest in gambling with stocks. Any of you anons have experience with Robinhood and know what is going on? I don't even have a job or bank account right now.

>>18007905
>>18007933
roflmao I cant believe I let this board influence my decisions

>>18006938
Cuomo, lol. Having lived under his reign of meh, I know I can safely ignore the bullshit pouring out of his mouth. He's got a baby hard on because the press are trying to prop him up as Biden's replacement, but I know from experience how much of a corrupt fuck up he is. He makes Bill & Hillary look credible.

>>18007952

>>18007879
(((priced in)))

>>18007940
If people loose 70% o their net worth in a month, it won't be Bernie in charge, it'll be Caesar.

>>18007879
>we only have bad news
The market does not move solely on news.

>>18007958
doesn't really matter that they used your email, as long as it's not opened under your SSN it's fine

CHYNA

>>18007958
cancel your credit cards.

>>18007972
The only thing which is loose is your asshole

>>18007949
it should be but not for that reason

>>18007958
Don't panic. First tell us your email so we can verify your claims.

>>18006959
Screaming retard that bans sodas finds something else to scream about... Fuq we are toast bros

>>18007611
It will take up to 5 year and perhaps 10 billion USD to do the increase they proposed. The strategy is to lower the oil price to get the market share to sell as much Saudi oil as possible, due to the the peak oil and global warming policies. This will make the green energy more expensive, hence slowing it down. The other strategy would be to cut output to keep prices at 70 but that makes money both for Russia and the US shale producers, where Saudi Aramco has production cost at around 8 USD per barrel. Government itself needs ~60 to balance its budget, but Saudis are doing just fine looking for debt mostly with eurobonds with these strong fundamentals. Russia has a war chest of upper 500 billion which will hold for a while and them being Russians, that means struggling against the evil West is a must either way. And these Saudi bonds are bought mostly by US hedge funds. Therefore, wall street is keeping Saudi oil afloat in operational terms.
>>18007958
Your dad finally seeing the light and trading volatility kek

>>18007949
Dax pump!

My wish list for next week: SPY to 180, AMD to 30.

>>18007719
Fuck niggers, fuck kikes, fuck faggots and fuck you too. Get the fuck back to redd!t retard

>>18007949
For the Motherland!

>>18007856
https://seekingalpha.com/article/4226165-trading-strategy-beat-s-and-p-500-16-percentage-points-per-year-since-1928

>>18008006
if DAX pumps with this news that will be fucking hilarious. and my 30k bet instantly gone.

>>18007568
Prepare for another crash.

HARVEY WEINSTEIN HAS CORONA
https://mobile.twitter.com/TipMahoney/status/1241828080949301249

>https://twitter.com/business/status/1241812970549755905?s=20
>JUST IN: Fed's Bullard says U.S. unemployment rate may hit 30% in the second quarter
the bears are back in town

>>18008030
BULLISH

>>18007170
> stock market recovered 100% of the time historically
> but it won't this time because...REASONS!!11

dumbass

>>18008033
HARVESTED
oh wait....

>>18007811
WHO IS THIS

Are futures at 11pm UTC+1?

>>18008033
no he doesnt. his lawyers does everything to ease his sentence

>>18008033
Too quick a death for this hollywood heeb

>>18008033
kek, get fucked jews

>>18008030
I feel Bullish

>>18007948
Unironically, this would cause the markets to soar and end the bear market

>>18008033
im thinking bullish

Someone not retarded explain this news

>>18008003
>peak oil
>global warming
Oh my, a retard

>>18007933
>>18007960
https://finance.zacks.com/dow-futures-posted-over-weekend-3225.html
>Trading in the different Dow futures contracts starts at 5 p.m. Eastern time on Sunday evening.
how could someone just go on the internet and tell lies

>>18007981
True. If whoever did it engages in bad trading or something illegal, will that have any fallout on me? I don't want to go to prison for insider trading and have no money to show for it.
>>18007989
I don't even have a bank account let alone credit cards. I've only ever used cash in my entire life.

EVERYTHING POINTS TO GREEN TOMORROW
DON'T PANIC KEEP CALLS

>>18007291
Yes

>>18008054
6pm EST, I think 17:00 GMT

>>18008057
He's a 68 year old Jew with a heart condition and high blood pressure. We'll know if he has corona when he dies in a week.

>>18008030
Bullish, expected it to be much higher, good find

>>18007354
and what is alternative?

trying to market time?

studies show it just doesn't work.

What is your genius plan?

>>18008033
He doesn't, he just wants the isolation.

DIS @ 50. Soon I hope

>>18008003
nice post I like it

>>18008086
>I don't even have a bank account let alone credit cards
what
how old are you and where do you live lol
based tax avoidance chad

>>18008089
HAHA YOURE A FUCKING RETARD WHY WOULD YOU GO AGAINST MARKET SENTIMENT

>Goldman Sachs forecasts -24% GDP in Q2
>Morgan Stanley forecasts -30%
>Bullard says -50%, and 30% unemployment
Yeah I'm thinking BULL MARKET

>>18008084
Why aren't they moving then guy?

>45 minutes late

>>18008106
At 0, fuck the mouse for destroying every childhood franchise that I love.

>>18006938
>pic
lol how far OTM are cummos put options?

>>18008109
dude red friday means green monday xD

>>18008086
how is this possible? anyways. change password on email. contact robinhood and tell them. just to protect yourself legally

>tfw essential employee
>tfw no free 3 week vacation like the rest of you
>Tfw even higher workload
I'm jelly
My stocks aren't even doing that bad, I'm only down 10% and I'm sure it will rebound pretty hard in the next 24 months

Trump is taking codeine now for sure, can't risk coofing on TV

>>18008103
it doesnt work because the people trying to time the market is the people making up the market. some people obviously have the ability to beat the market.

>>18008139
Same situation as you

Reports trump is in the white house pantry crying and refuses to come on stage.

>>18008150
he's going to do that almost coughing thing again and choke on a word, then next word he tries to say it's just hollow sound and he will let out a horrible gurgle noise followed by wettest cough ever

>>18008139
same but I get to work from home half the time

Anyone here ever had a footjob? How did it feel?

About half an our ago McDonalds said they're closing all UK and Southern Irish stores.

Do with that info what you will.

>>18008150
If theyre delaying this long it cant be anything but horrible news, and he's trying to think of how to spin it, I think this next week is going to be red every day

>>18008180
wasnt memorable

>>18007119
do you have any tips on who or what news sources to see who would be doing this? so far i'm just seeing how some big names will help make ventilators.

>>18008163
yes, some aka 0.01%. What about 99.99%? What is better for them than the index funds?

>>18008180
it's awkward but better than hj/bj

>>18008139
>>essensial employee
me to. cant leave the country lmao. but at least I'm not getting laid of. just having a job is the new upper middle class in this economy

>>18008108
I've only been paid for doing nice things for family. I'm a NEET mostly and help out my mom and dad and somtimes aunt and uncle. Make less than $1000 a year, more like between $150 to $400 depending on checks for Christmas and birthdays.
>>18008137
I was going to do basic stuff like that, I just wanted any anon's knowledge on Robinhood, like if the company is scamming me or if it's common for people to do weird shit like this. Whoever opened the account got approved instantly, which implies they had lots of money for trading which is kinda scary. What if global elites are using random retards like me as fall guys for their illegal trading?

>>18008089
Lol

>>18007950
EURUSD at 1.25 when?

>>18008072
Wow

>>18008193
I would normally agree. but this crisis was obvious for anyone not refusing to believe their eyes. I sold in february and have outperformed the market by 30% without even making money lol

>>18008128
>PICK IT UP JEROME WHAT DO I TELL THEM PICK IT UUUUUP

>>18008180
I met one of those "I want to experience everything" girls and she gave me a footjob, but I told her to stop after a few minutes because it wasn't even remotely enjoyable. The next morning in the shower she asked me to pee on her aswell, some girls are weird

"STAY HOME. STOP THE SPREAD. SAVE LIVES."
jesus christ they make it sound like turbo ebola

>>18008216
Not soon.

>>18008207
yeah its weird. your email and pasword is probably leaked. check here https://haveibeenpwned.com/PwnedWebsites

it's not robinhood. probably money laundering

>>18008251
>The next morning in the shower she asked me to pee on her aswell
that's pretty hot either way though

>>18008251
>she asked me to pee on her aswell
well did you?

>tfw not psychopathic
>geniunely gets happy when hearing bad news

What is wrong with me biz, im not even a jew

>>18008254
ebonga is deadlier but not as transmissible

>>18008118
>this delusion
m8 its over. get ready to hunker down for a few years

>>18008072
Reminder that remdesivir is a provenly failed Ebola drug. Odds that it will by chance lead to higher than noise recoveries in coronavirus cases are flimsy at best.

>>18008133
>>18008128

This game is so rigged. They're showing Mayor Cuomo while they wait for Trump to come out ON FOX FUCKING NEWS to make him look bad.

FOX, turbo anti-lib network which made up shit about Obama being a Kenyan muslin terrorist, is giving free coverage to a far left democrat who's critical of the Republican president on a republican network.

What the fuck is going on here. How can you possibly explain this. Why are they being so obvious when they've already won.

>>18006938
>Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis President James Bullard predicted the U.S. unemployment rate may hit 30% in the second quarter because of shutdowns to combat the coronavirus, with an unprecedented 50% drop in gross domestic product.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-22/fed-s-bullard-says-u-s-jobless-rate-may-soar-to-30-in-2q

Is this a bull signal?

>>18008207
Lots of cyber criminals are taking a huge advantage of this Corona hysteria, you likely just got unlucky and had a shitty password or something on your email, either make a super strong password, or delete the account, also try to get in touch with the Robinhood Pajeets and explain what happened, if they used your email, there's a chance they used your social security number too and if thats the case then youre fucked

Get on that shit now, identity theft is no joke, you need to stop it or YOU WILL be financially raped, Masha in the Eastern Bloc dosen't give a shit about you

>>18008251
was she jewish?

>>18008251
why would you want random losers jerking of to your stories? just head over to /b/

>>18008251
You should of asked her to poop on you.

>>18007563
VOO is run by vanguard and is one of the best. very low expense ratio. All you really want with an sp500 etf is the lowest expense ratio possible.

>>18007159
Cant have the stock exchange open while wagies have free

do you guys max out your tax-advantaged accounts and THEN fuck around with normal brokerage/taxable accounts - or what?

>>18008293
back to r*ddit, retard

How is this any better than the CDO meltdown in 2008?

Bear bros think I'll have any time to re up on some SQQQ and TVIX on Monday?

bros I ate an entire cheese crust stuffed pizza for dinner last night and now I have the shits does this mean I have corona

>>18008341
tuesday will be the greatest most magnificent pump youve ever seen. do not.

>>18008079
So you think all these government policies enacted into law are hoaxes as well? Like, the actual cuts in profits you make to please the populist EU? Do you think these are conspiracy theories when the money revenue keeps going down all for the new glorious green future? Is that not real enough? Will we use oil in a stubborn fashion when literally everything is changing to renewables? Ever watched Aramco news conference or do you keep your energy outlooks exclusively based on memes?

>>18008300
No, but it IS priced in. Unironically. This is the bottom.

>>18007315
I was only in QYLD, and at this point I'll be a bagholder and just accumulate on the way down like I am with everything else, slowly shopping around for stuff like KO. Right now I'm thinking fast food is a good investment. It was hit hard like the rest of the market, but with lobby dining utterly wrecked by Corona Chan, people will flock to these locations. Never underestimate the country's obese to find a way to stay fat

>>18008347
You should have a couple after a pizza yeah bro

From the look of it seems like no "check" bill getting passed today. Fuck. I wanted 2400 bucks to suddenly appear in my bank account come april.

>>18008207
listen to
>>18008263
and
>>18008305

you will be fucked over if you dont take steps to protect yourself

>>18008293
Trump delayed the conference, it was pushed back to 5:30.

Maybe he liked what cuomo was saying. Or maybe pence has it and fauci doesn’t want to be near him and they’re trying to figure out a way to do it.

>>18008251
Ex was like that, seemed like she just really wanted to make sure there wasn’t things I would leave her to try. No fjs, but anal and asked me to pee on her. Good times.

But what’s the point if she didn’t let me go above the shoulders? Urine should be good for the hair and teeth.

>>18008279
Welcome to the new normal, I've been there since 2015, if you're not a smooth brain you realize the way society has been going is fucked, so we've been craving a new normal

>>18008341
There might be a bulltrap coming up. At least that's what I'm hoping for. I cashed out of my TVIX but for some reason Warren Buffet is telling everyone to buy

>>18008347
make sure to take a fiber supplement whenever you binge it. trust me

>>18008337
I know the latter 2 are confirmed final fantasy 14 but are the first 2 XIV as well?

>>18008341
Wait for the bounce, we're going to S&P 500 $1800 after that

>>18008388
Apparently they're all from a subreddit dedicated exclusively to shorting VIX

>>18008375
He's now late to his own delayed conference lmao.
GBPUSD latest

>NZX down 4.94%
lets get this show on the road

>1 hour late

>>18008341
Not on Monday probably. It's going to be a slaughter tomorrow in all likelihood. We had a small pump Friday morning then ended red, and we've had all weekend to stew in the rising cases and freak out over the impending unemployment numbers. Absolute bloodbath incoming, pray for desperate hail mary pump some point before Thursday.

>>18008263
Fuck, my mom made me get a Facebook account to play Words with friends with her and that got a breach of data. I've never used social media except for that and what do you know...
>>18008305
What I don't understand is my email account shows logins and NO ONE logged in in months, since I last did. The only way it could happen is if the hackers logged in over a year ago and were just waiting. I'll get going with this though, thanks anons for the advice.

>>18008432
Pardon my retardation but when do Australia and Japan markets open?

New York governor said count on the government doing nothing.

When are futures opening?

Anyone wanna guess whats keeping trump up?

PA going to announce a lockdown at 6PM.

>>18008072
Its means BUY GILD

Smg what's your take on volatility contracting while the spy went down on Friday? Quad witching or what?

>>18008411
Do you think that trend reversal will hold? Uk might be even more fucked, and brexit was at a delicate time...

>>18008464
Coofing

>>18008254
HAHAHAHAHAAH

>>18008464
Maybe they're loading Trump up on massive amounts of cough suppressant.

>>18008442
Get it done as fast as you can anon, cyber crime is low priority during these times, so the potential for you to get absolutely raped are through the roof right now

Gonna have another split screen like that -13% day, trump speaking and the DOW crashing

New thread:

>>18008491
>>18008491
>>18008491

>>18008464
full immersion in a pool of hand sanitizer.

>>18008464
>he's taking a massive shit

>>18008454
Australian markets open in 1 hour 20 minutes.
Tokyo 2 hours 20 minutes.
Reminder this has been linked:
https://market24hclock.com/Trading-Hours

>>18008485
Great minds think alike.
>>18008464
Or maybe Pence has actually tested positive for the virus.

>>18008492
>>18008485
good chuckle thanks bros but for real. Trump can't get chink flu. We all know hes immune by now. His power of getting out of things is this guys level

>>18007126
do you know who will be those robot producers? because i sure as hell want to invest in them if it comes to that

>>18008517
Isn't diarrhea one of the symptoms for the virus?

>>18008375
>Cuomo
>>18007963
>Cuomo
>>18007893
>Cuomo

https://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/approval_rating/governor/ny/governor_cuomo_job_approval-3502.html

Polls for coumo, massive exponential loss in popularity due to panic and fear mongering.

https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/488698-trump-gets-polling-boost-but-will-it-last

Trump at highest of all time

Yep, seems like a classic case of female ghostbuster syndrome, the media pushes, the public at large knee jerks the other way.

Regards to all the /leftypol/ and r/chapotraphouse folks for doing the bankers work for them, creating a dip for them to buy.

>>18008442
good luck anon. get it all done. getting your email stolen easily turns into something kafkaesk. especially in america, I would imagine.

>>18008464
Monika Lewinsky.

>>18008495
Their phones are down, can only use their website which requires logging into the account I didn't even make. If I change the password in order to log in, won't that imply I made the account, tarnishing the claim I'm bein scammed?

>>18007539
why? you bitter pathetic fat fuck? stop killing the profitable bulls, and making new ones smarter. the idea is to take their money over and over.

>>18008251
Mfw

>>18008330
it's 3 x correct? If the market drops > 30% rapidly im fucked, justed and liquidated?

>>18008585
just send an email. file a police report or something. you need to be able to prove you took steps to prevent a scam as soon as you could

>>18008578
>Regards to all the /leftypol/ and r/chapotraphouse folks for doing the bankers work for them, creating a dip for them to buy
no one ever really said gommies were smart

>>18007646
Or invaded, like when Nixon put the arrogant camel herders in their fucking place during 70s when the jews were kicking their ass in the yomkipur war.

>>18008578
The left is losing a lot of ground now because they did retarded shit like call the virus racist and blocking trumpbux. I personally hope they stay relevant but the SJWs and race card shit gets completely removed.

>>18007704
on the other side of the noose you weeb

>>18008723
also who cares about global warming causing a crisis in 2100 when a virus can come out of nothing and cause even more damage

>>18008763
global warming is fixed
chinas production being cut in half for a month cut out such a tremendous amount of CO2 emissions

>>18008701
Hmmm I'll have to look up what he did

>>18008578
>Far-left retards unwittingly working for the bankers
What else is new.

>>18008021
Thank you anon I'll look into it.

>>18008132
what did they destroy. the star warses got better under disney and same with the new lion king etc

>>18008021
The only problem I have with this is that they aren't including broker payments into their modelling. Which can significantly fuck your portfolio if you relevrage every day.

>>18007258

What's the safest buy?

>>18009345
Your mom.

>>18008072
it means I just bought puts on GILD in my investopedia simmulator hue hue hue

>>18008089
pfft whatever you say paisan.

>>18008251
Did you start singing I believe I can fly?