/biz/ - Business & Finance

>in supermarket
>fill up basket
>walk out like i paid

>>17482065
>In supermarket
>Fill up anus
>Smile at people while inserting goods
>Waddle out like I shit myself
>Shart stolen goods into my trunk
>Drive off
Feels good

>>17482058
Shop lifting is a le crime anon

>>17482065
>get caught by door scanner technology running on BSV meta-oracles

>go to restaurant
>order food
>walk away
why doesnt everybody do this? employees cant do anything

>>17482058
>in bank with my roo
>rip the two ATM’s out of the wall with my bear hands and place it into my kangaroo’s pouch
>walk out and the hot chick at the door even smiles at me and flashes her tits
Feels good bros

>>17482104
>call restaurant
>order food for takeout
>dont pick it up
>block their calls
lmao

>>17482093
>craig automatically takes BSV out of your wallet to pay for groceries

>>17482058
>go to supermarket
>select goods I wish to purchase
>pay for goods while being polite and amiable to the cashier
>put my cart away after loading groceries into my car
>go back into store
>scream “FUCK NIGGERS” at the top of my lungs
>leave

>>17482132
wagies literally can't do anything about this hahahaha

>go to supermarket
>see a little kid knock over some shit
>restack shelves
>hot chick working there is so impressed and she fucks me in the store
>bash the little fucker that knocked the shit off the shelves
>fuck his mum too
why don't all incels do this

>>17482148

>go to supermarket
>be respectful and polite while I do my shopping
>pay up and leave

>>17482206

>>17482058
Too late. We here first.

>>17482093
>Craig arrives in person to perform citizens arrest

>>17482146

>>17482232
what the fuck is this

imagine going to a fucking supermarket.

>>17482261
Married with children.

>>17482093
>say that i have paid but refuse to show the receipt.
>anyone who use bsv accepts this

>>17482261
zoomer detected

>>17482261
>he's 12 years old and doesn't know about Married with Children.

good plan OP, but you should take the next level up and SELL the stolen candy for more UND.

>>17482239
*blocks your path*
>duunhh anon, err uhh see, uhh not many people understand that i unhh can have you fined for that when you do it on my network. full stop

>>17482284
>>17482321
>>17482333
I only watch Seinfeld and Twin Peaks

>Go to KFC
>Order food
>Missing some items and got half ass made food.
>Also overcharged
>Go to KFC again the next day.
>Order the same order, and 20 more of the item that was half ass made and 10 more of what they forgot to include the last time while charging me for it.
>Wait a little while to make sure they get the order done.
>Get the fuck out of there and leave all that food behind.


And these people want 15 dollars an hour.

LAMO!

>go to IKEA
>stroll through the store until I get to the bathroom section
>shit in one of the display toilets
>walk away while loudly complaining about the smell

>>17482312
Kek

>Go to super market
>try to reenact the Infetterance pasta
>Security haul me ot
>try to reenact the cholo manlet webm
> they call the police

What fuck bros

>>17482472
But you have to pay before they make your food at fast food places...

>>17482148

>>17482146
Lmao

>in supermarket
>pick up thousands of dollars of supplements and medicine
>self check out
>ring everything up as bananas

>>17482146
https://youtu.be/avVygp4yjMk

>>17482058
>go to supermarket
>grab a gallon of milk
>open it and put it behind some unpopular cereal that no one will buy

>>17482148
We had a group of people who would do this when I worked at little caesars. During the time I worked there (I was 17-19 to pay for school) there would always be phone calls. Now, these aren't your average prank calls. These are worse. At my restaurant if there was a phone order, you paid when you came in to pick it up. No verification, nothing. Since it's little caesars, they always wanted the order ready when you arrived too. So this group of about 6 people would always call on random days during rush hours and place massive orders, force us to make them (thus slowing down the make line and crushing our pizza output.) We had one of those shit phones without caller ID too, so we literally couldn't do anything about it. As a worker, it was fucking the worst. Now that I don't work there, sometimes I send in orders for 10 cheese 10 pep and 10 sausage pizzas like once a year or so just for the keks.
>FUCK WAGIES

>go to gas station
>pretend to fill the tank
>gas counter says 0$
>leave gas station
>lmao

>>17483678

kek

>pick up a hocker
>drive around for 20 minutes
>im actually an Uber
> hocker pays me
>lel

>>17482261
Lol he thinks it's some family that literally went into a supermarket and just relaxed in there.

I remember that episode. Al kept dropping stuff to check out a woman's butt. Haven't seen that show in a long time.

>>17482132
>>17482148

The wagons do not give a single flying fuck. They get to eat the food and the owner looses money. Retards

>>17483715
kek

>>17482058
>LOL CHECK ME OUT I'M A NIGGER STEALING STUFF I DON'T NEED
not medication, not essential food because you've been fired, candy.
Nice.

>>17483067
>This was the worst thing ever while i was working there, like just the worst
>Lol ill just do the same to those suckers

>>17482232
one of the best shows ever made

>>17484714
Gentlemen it seems we have a wagie in this thread

>>17484714
take that stick/dick outta your ass
fucking wagies.
fuck it im going to "order" some food because of this cocksucker

>>17482312
jej

>>17482065
have actually done this many times

>>17482922
holy fuck

>>17482979
why though

>>17482979
what. Just to make rotten milk?

>>17484220
they do care because their boss starts suspecting they're either lying about getting calls or getting their friends to call so they get free food.

>order pizza
>wait an hour to pick it up
>im homeless and hungery do you have anything?
>get pizza for free

i pick expensive/organic produce, do self checkout and ring myself up for cheaper stuff all the time.

>>17482132
The difference is the other anons are getting something out if it, this is just wasting everyone's time.

>>17482571
What is drive thru, m8

>>17482571
Obvious LARP

>>17484220
owner btfo lmao

>>17482058
this is why I still come here

>2011 or something
>enter store
>stuff a bunch of virgin cds, a dvd box of a season of House MD, and a DVD of departed, under my shirt
>walk out
>beep beep beep
>start running like a maniac for 10 mins, stop at a park and collapse on the grass
>exhauste I fall unconscious for 5 mins
>wake up and go home
>absolutly no one followed me, I think nobody heard the beep because the store was packed full

>do electric work
>order shitloads of cable
>only use 70-80% of it
>strip the rest to pure copper if it's big enough
>go to the junkyard and sell it for cash

Been doing this for years and will keep doing this.

>>17482530
fucking based

>>17484790
>>17485565
Im not even a wagie stupid retards.
Why would you inflict upon others that which you wish to not be inflicted with

>>17482312
good one

>>17487966
Uhh because it's based?

Me and my friends used to do this as kids
>all go into super market bathroom
>each take a shit on the floor in the stalls
>piss on the floor, sink, paper towels, garbage can, soap dispenser etc.
>leave the store with squeaky shoes
Clean up my shit and piss, wagie.

>>17482312

>>17482058
based

>>17483715

>be old somewhat creepy boomer
>at kroger
>qt employee asks if she can help me with anything
>mfw
>"yeah sugar. how about a little kiss on the cheek"?
>*place hand on her shoulder and extend cheek*
>she looks at me with total disgust, turns 360 and gtfos

>>17487966
Because it's funny?

>Go to restroom at local gas station
>Only one toilet in the room
>Piss on the toilet paper
>Piss on the handles and seat
>Leave

>>17488384
>turns 360

>>17485674
They will try and check your receipt against some of the goods in your bag but honestly I've seen most people get away with this easily. Also changing price tags on things and watching my ex ring up organic produce as regular or something cheaper

>>17488936
I hope you don't have any infectious diseases because if you do you're a total asshole.

>>17482124
Based

>>17488230
BASED

>>17489487
If more people get infected. There might be a cure sooner

>>17484714
yes

>buy 7 lbs of oranges at the self-checkout
>walk home with a PS4 and bloodborne at a reasonable price

>>17482969

>>17489741
How did you turn the oranges into video games?

>go to supermarket
>automatic cashiers installed
>they believe I will wageslave for free
>toppest of kek
>scan 1 out 3 things that I buy
>always get away with it
>supermarket owners know that allowing someone to shoplift will still cost them sell than hire a wagie
>win-win situation

>Go to work
>email some douche the PowerPoint I'm going to use when I speak at some conference
>waddle into the rest room
>shit all over the toilet, walls and floors
>giggle to myself, work will never find out it was me because theyre not using oracles and cant audit the data feed from the sensors in this bathroom
>waddle back to my desk
>proceed to take another big dump, this Tim's in the form of 700k link tokens
>open /biz/
>post fud and "what the heck was that" memes to market my scam
>scam wages for their precious dollars

fin

>>17489741
Kek, that's actually unironically creative ;-)

>>17482058
Jews rob you of your future. Least you can do to get back at them is steal a little candy

>candy

holy shit you're fucking fat. imagine eating fucking candy like a goddamn 7 year old

>>17488230
Fucking based

>>17482530
>what are security cameras?

>find a fast food in a predominately black area
>take the ketchup packets and go to the bathroom
>put them under stalls
this is for turning my sister into a coal burner

>>17482058
When I was unemployed and penniless for a bit I would go in with a pocketfull of plastic bags, load them up with anything I wanted, and walk the fuck out

Never got caught, but I imagine they suspected something

>>17489487
Piss is literally drinkable so I don't see your worry here.

>>17490601
Man, I've been poor (zero money for weeks) when I was 17 and living on my own, never ever stole a fucking thing.

>>17490624
Would you drink the piss of someone else, piss from someone who is also infected with incurable gonnrrhea?

>>17490653
*gonnorrhea

>>17490601
Yeah it's easy.

>>17482132
kek

>>17482058
>proud of behaving like a subhuman
Ask me how I know you're a n*gger.

>>17490997
fuck off moralfag

itt niggers

>>17491050
seething street shitter

In my country we have a store that has this self checkout system that you come in and take the scanner. Then you scan everything you want to buy, place the scanner to the port or whatever it's called and pay. Once in a while there is a "shopping control!" and they check if you scanned everything. After I get one of these checks I know the probability of another check right away is very very low so I go and leave some red bull or a caesar salad unscanned. They dont do anything if you have left something unscanned. Couple of times I have forgotten to scan a thing and they just don't give me the "reward" chocolate.

I wonder how many immigrants will abuse this trust too.

They already break laws to make money, what will stop them from stealing from "the infidels" this way too? It's not like THEY are going to get their hands chopped off, since they will never judge one of their own.

>>17482058
>Go to wastebin outside shop
>collect receipts
>walk into store and pick item off the shelf and return it with your receipt

>>17483067
>Not requiring the order to be paid over phone after it exceeds 50$
You and your coworkers sound like retards

>>17491781
Gay store, sounds like Europe, the land of forgotten game theory

While we're in a no moralfags allowed thread,
Does anyone know of any big chain stores still don't have those cameras 1984ishly recording you while you're in front of the selfcheckout?

Or do they even care to watch those cameras?

>>17482058
>>17482065

Just so you know, I worked at Target, first at salefloor but later moved into HR (promotion) so I know a lot about how the security works there, they have the same facial recognition shit as Wal Mart. They know if you're stealing. They just wait until you've stolen enough for it to be a felony (different state by state) to finally call the police once you show your face again. So have fun. And this was like 5 years ago so for all I know the tech has improved

>>17492041
Lmao stfu retard moralfags
you see, these companies are indebted to us americans already because of the crooked deals that theyve made and their complicity in things like data collection
these fuckers OWE you BIGTIME for the fucking bullshit that they have willingly done, and the loss they get for the "damages" is literally a fucking atom of loss compared to their monolithic revenue stream.
yea, im thinking they'll be fine,
fuck yourself moralfags

>>17482567
kek

>>17482922
checked and bananapilled

>>17492189
oh my god will the big joo in Target come and get me?!? oh noooo

lmao fuck off faggot

>>17492189
>steal alot but not enough for you to exceed the amount necessary to be charged with a felony
>never steal again after you reach that point
>profit
le epicly fucked anon

also
>face recognition deep learning AI muh stealing technology
lmao kys faggot this is such a joke

>>17492262
No you retard, they keep track, so the next time you show up, after you've stolen enough, they call the police immediately. Your mistaking their negligence for the tiny miniscule amount your cutting into their profits as incompetence, it would cost us more to hire security guards to stop you.

>>17492275
Yeah theoretically it could work, but you should know these same databases are shared with a lot of the big box stores, ai know for a fact all targets, Walmarts and Kroger's subsidiaries Nationwide.

>>17492275
Facial recognition isn't scifi you inbred southerner it's been in use by all major retailers since like 2010

>>17492320
>these databases are shared with a lot of stores
exactly, so fuck these companies.
ITS OKAY FOR THEM TO STEAL YOUR DATA AND INFORMATION BUT WHEN YOU STEAL FROM BIG CORPORATIONS ITS SUDDENLY NIGGER BEHAVIOR AND CRINGE?

>>17482058
>order cheeseburger at mcdonalds
>eat 95% of it
>pull a hair and place it on the burger
>let me speak to the manager
>get new burger

>>17492149

>>17492207
It's not about hurting the store, who the FUCK do you think will be picking up the tab for the thieving muhammedans? HUH? You're probably one of them, aren't you.

>>17482058
>walk to supermarket
>take one of my big pissbottles and fill it full of my pee pee and poo poo
>walk up and down the aisles spraying it over all the food
>no one says anything because I'm a shitskin and they don't want to be called racist in case its one of my national customs
>still get to live here rent free :)


https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/man-who-sprayed-gloucester-supermarkets-157219

>>17490152
It actually happened:
https://techthelead.com/ps4-as-fruit-self-checkout/

>>17482312
nice

>>17492467
THEY will be picking up the tab you COCKSUCKER. Don't you EVER come into MY thread and EVER speak to me like that again you fucking BITCH.

>>17489285
newfag

>>17482922
I do this with the produce codes all the time. Most expensive apples for the price of the cheapest ones

Sure are a lot of unpaid cashiers who stink at their self checkout jobs...

>>17492739
>An entire people do organized theft
>Insurance price goes up, hence prices of goods increase for law abiding citizens
>The group keeps stealing
>Price of insurance goes up
>Law abiding citizens have to pick up the tab again
>Nobody can solve the problem because muh racism
You fucking pedophile!

>>17492906
>An entire group of elite people over centuries and decades siphon trillions of dollars of value out of hardworking Americans and literally destroy their future forever
>"bro comeon you're such a nigger for stealing that $1 bag of chips and $2 chocolate milk, seriously kys.."
go fuck yourselves, moralfags. i will justify it until the end of time

>>17492995
I bet you will, you fucking commmie bastard!
But you seem to miss the point, one group is stealing and another GROUP has to pay for it! NOT THE FUCKING OWNERS!

>>17489285
>and gtfos

>>17482261
18+

>>17493044
you get what you deserve

>>17492906
>>17492995
>>17493044
>implying any of this shit matters

>>17493126
>Look at me everyone! I'm so edgy, I'm totally not an asshole at all, my marxist handlers told me it's a free-for-all and I am living it out by claiming to be on the side of the people while simultaneously causing the people harm and letting them pick up the bill for my crimes!

>>17482058
>be at the symphony
>strategically plant burner cell phones all over by balancing them against the inner leg of the seat, where it's bolted to the ground
>use callmylostphone.com to set times for them to go off
>almost get caught

i even got a story in the city paper

>>17492275
Idk man the shit they have in casinos is pretty wild.

You can get kicked out a casino in wendover for counting and sit down at one in vegas and be asked to leave within minutes if it's owned by the same company.

>>17493285
Go to salt lake city kek

>>17489741
Nah they make you checkout consoles at a counter near electronics, they wont let you take one to the front.
Good LARP though, entertaining

>>17493370
>https://techthelead.com/ps4-as-fruit-self-checkout/

Also why would I take the console Im stealing to the place where Im supposed to pay for it?

>>17493272
>i even got a story in the city paper
link?

>>17482922
You can't really do this nowadays or at least not in my country
They always have some wagie hanging around the self checkout area

>>17487966
They justify it because they were victims in the past
>pic related: them

>>17493518
>dox myself
no

>>17493909
cry me a fucking river faggot
you're the kind of fag to be bound in chains and enslaved by zog and while in the coal mines picking away at the rocks you'll say, "i need to work harder to buy my freedom" "they deserve it for being the dominant ones" "this is fine, this is fair, i deserve what i get"

>>17493995
>you're a slave if you don't fuck with people's jobs by ordering a bunch of food that you won't pay for
Mind explaining that logic again m8?

>>17493995
Nobody thinks that. It is a lie fed to you by your communist masters.

>>17482058
>Walk into store
>Try on clothes
>Walk out of store while still wearing said clothes

I have never been caught.

>>17486195
They don’t care anon I can assure you on this. Waged in a few restaurants and this is not how it plays out.

>>17487145
But yes yes. Owner btfo. most of them are pretty shitty so I kek.

Also
>Never tip for anything when I'm in america

>Always tip when I'm in Europe

If you guys wanna know something based. If you buy something and after awhile it breaks or something, buy a new one and then later return the old broken item. Worked for headphones, controllers, even an entire ps4 I shit you not.

It is the same with them all, thiefs will always say "They deserved it, they must be stupid because I managed to cheat them or steal from them".

Well thiefs only trick themselves. What does that say about thiefs when they are only able to compete against people who they see as stupid?

enjoyable thread

>>17489285
Youth

>>17493272

>>17494474
shut up wagie, I will shit on your floors and you will clean it up

How to beat facial recognition software:
Wear a baseball cap, have a beard, change your posture, pretend to be Max Payne, scratch your nose as you go through the exit door.

>>17494796
No, it doesn't work that way. That is not my job description. But I may push your shit in though.

>>17483067
fucking based

>>17484714
mfw

>>17486391
holy shit

Daily reminder to grab some $nCoV , check out https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/coronacoin%3A-crypto-developers-seize-on-coronavirus-for-new-morbid-token-2020-02-28

just released! this will 3x ez

corona(REMOVETHIS)token(D0T)org

YW frens

>>17492354
>ITS OKAY FOR THEM TO STEAL YOUR DATA AND INFORMATION BUT WHEN YOU STEAL FROM BIG CORPORATIONS ITS SUDDENLY NIGGER BEHAVIOR AND CRINGE?
no they are niggers and cringe too

>>17482104

Friend of mine nearly got arrested for this. Restaurant called the cops on him after he left and they were at his house in 10 minutes

>be me
>go to the same grocery store I've going to for years
>dont act like a nigger

>Local Domino's
>Stoner friend is the store manager
>Hires like 5 of us out of high school
>we all skim cash
>Have our unemployed friends ring up and place massive custom orders that no one picks up
>Ask if we can take it home when we leave

>>17493126
id matches skin colour

>>17495947
>https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/coronacoin%3A-crypto-developers-seize-on-coronavirus-for-new-morbid-token-2020-02-28
based. employers are scumbags and stealing from them is your duty

>grocery shopping
>look for expired stuff & put it in plastic baskets
>have seen stuff 3+ years past date
>before checking out, drop off baskets (always at least 2) at service desk
>staff knows me & cringes when they see me come in
>typically buy about $60 and turn in at least that much to be pitched
>sometimes get gift card from store manager

>>17489285
Nice bait

>>17489741
Kek

>>17488230
b a s e d

>>17493272
What is the purpose of doing this?

>>17487250
You passed out? That's a pretty lame turnaround after some badass theft. You could have been caught or raped by a bum

>>17483715
This is how you make money from fuck prostitute.

>>17482312
wow, super iq post

>>17492753
I do this because there's like 50000 different apple types and the one I like the most isn't even on there...so everything is just gala now

>go to self-checkout
>forget to scan some things
>accidentally put them in the bag
oops

>>17483715
>pick up hocker
You pick up people who are trying to pawn something?

>on a road trip
>my shift to drive at like midnight
>have to shit really bad
>pull off at next exit and drive like 50mph into gas station parking lot
>sprint to the bathroom
>stall door won't open
>panic
>pull down pants and explosively shit in urinal right next me
>10% ends up in my pants/on my shorts
>realize the stall door is a pull, not a push door
>go to toilet to finish shitting
>guy walks in, sees the urinal and says "oh fuck no"
>dump my underwear in the garbage can and leave
Fuck Indiana

>>17497474
>it's Indiana's fault

>>17496204
This just sounds like wagecucking with extra steps...

I'm a firefighter-paramedic (in Minecraft) and whenever I go to the shitty nigger hospital with the obese and surly nurses, I make absolutely certain to piss and/or shit all over the floor. Depending on how retarded they're being on any given night, I might throw a pair of gloves on and smear it on the door handles or sink fixtures.

The janitors clean everything but the ER, so it is 100% the responsibility of the lazy nigger nurses to clean up my (fictional) pee pee and poo poo.

>>17497474
legit laughed you subhuman

>>17482058
>be me age 11
>supermarket in 1998
>alone reading nintendo magazine
>see porn magazine with woman with big boobs
>open a big sealed magazine and put the porn magazine in it
>ask grandma if I can get this
>yes
>cashier doesn't see anything
>mission successful

>>17497799
Based. When I was 14 there was an indian guy who would sell me cigarettes, but he would never sell me porno magazines because he said it was too hard to conceal as I left the store. I guess he had a point, but I could have hid it...

>be wage cuck
>company pays me like shit, no benefits, etc
>join local union to get benefits
>bootlickers, fuckem
>join local communist group in my city of bootlickers, 5 nerds
>learn how the economy works, befriend the guys, turn out to be super chill
>trascend into the realm beyond slave morality
Now I take what I can from my job, and I'm enjoying it more because I give less a shit and radicalizing my coworkers is fun. Apparently, the boss thinks I'm doing great and I'm getting a bonus this month.
Office space was and still is underrated. Watch it and take a page off his book, you won't regret it.

>>17497890
I am trying to ethically do as little as possible at my wagecuck job, but I am too autistic and love to follow rules. How to destroy my bootlicker nature?

>>17494474

I wonder if that's how sirgay thinks?

My friend and I used to play golf and would shit in the holes sometimes.

Used to hide in the bushes and cry laughing when old ladies would reach in and grab our shit.

#FinNexus is the combination of the words ‘Finance’ and ‘Nexus’.

>>17498371
Also we used to go on holiday to this place that had air freshener spray that you could refill.

Obviously we would empty it and piss in it so the next guests would be spraying our urine all over their bathroom.

anyone remember the coupon threads from /b/ from like 2010? I wonder if that shit still works

>>17482065
I used to know a guy who did this with shopping carts full of stuff. Brand new xbox games and laptops and shit. It was insane

>>17497496
It was the gas station food I ate about 20 mins before in Indiana that I blame
>>17497658
I'm a stinky poo

>>17482058
>throw waste in garbage
Cuck

>>17482058

>go to supermarket
> fill sac of candy that you pay by grams in the end
> eat all the candy before reaching the end
> pretend the candy was always yours and never get to pay it
> go to cinema and buy ticket for film
>finish watching and go to the next room to watch another film
>cry while watching movies all day cus no gf and lonely

>>17482058
I unironically actually did this when I was 17-18 lol. I ate ice cream sandwiches. I remember going into an isle, checking the cameras, kinda ducking my head while taking bites out of them, then I threw the empty package (can't remember if I ate them all) back into the freezer. Such a fucking dumb thing to do lmao.

One time I was doing the old trick where you put the items you want to steal in the bottom of your shopping bag then you pay for a bunch of (cheaper) items and walk out with the higher value expensive item. Although I only did this with chocolate lmao. A wog security guard started following me, was staring at me and he obviously knew what I was up to so I dropped the stuff, paid for everything and left and never stole again.

>>17498709
>concierge checks tickets
>don't have one
>get sent to the theater's spiky room

>go to supermarket
>hid in ladies restroom ceiling until close making sure earlier no graveyard crew that shift
>fap to toilet pissers and shitters while waiting
>come out when coast is clear
>eat only 1 item per package and open another new package eat only 1 item
>continue this until my feet start tingling from the impending gout
>go back to my ceiling fap cave
>fap but fall asleep before finish
>wakey wakey at midday rushy
>walk out and do again next week

>>17498755
This is pretty fucked up Anon
I like your style

Every post in this thread is legendary.

40 images no brappers. What a waste of a thread