/biz/ - Business & Finance

I am in a good mood today frens
https://voca.ro/hlPkDp6f4yi

>>17143624
Keep fucking pumping. I just spent another 5 thousand on chainlink!! We’re gonna fuck this bag up my nigga!!!

https://vocaroo.com/b1aQoUBrxki

>>17143876
https://voca.ro/nOjpdZxWcGO

>>17143624

MUIE BA PULA

>>17143876
do this one anon
>I saw Sergey at a grocery store in New York yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

https://voca.ro/c3vo29SBbqN

>>17143697
Fucking lol anon

>>17144061
You legit do a good indian accent for a yank

>>17144094
https://voca.ro/11gxtgAtUl7

>>17143624
>>17143876
O Based voice anon, can you please sing this one? I wrote this earlier this week and a marine said they would record it and post in 3 hours but never delivered and by that time it was archived anyway. It would make me very happy as I spent a bit of time on it and I think it's decent especially the rap part.
>>17081616

It's based on this song if you don't know it, don't have to sing over it just for reference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6qn_GAl32Q

>>17144193
part 2
>>17081624

>>17144094
https://voca.ro/9lJ8Cs1g4cF
ask and you shall receive my fren
had to bounce between my shitphone and my laptop so my id will prolly be different but it me

Why didnt anyone tell me chainlink was for real and not just a stinky linky meme.

Fuck

>>17144179
https://voca.ro/o2LEgKUOs1u

>>17144188
were you trying to impersonate my schizo tone in >>17143876 lmfao
sorry bub ya just don't have that autistic vocal seasoning

>>17144119
>>17144188
lol, nice ones anon, had a chuckle, this one's good too if you're up for it

I saw Sergey Nazarov while visiting Auschwitz yesterday. Every time the tour guide started to talk about the camp he would interrupt by yawning really loudly and shout "Boring! Get to the good parts!" - I don't think he was even tired. When we got to the gas chamber he screamed "Fake, there were no gas chambers! The Soviets built this after the war" and then started mimicking a Jew suffocating on Zyklon B.

After the tour he walked straight up to me and said "they deserved it anyway", and praised the Nazis for their "decentralized" camp system, but they could have used an oracle to "improve the process." He then stood on a podium and informed everyone that Jews were "vermin" and that he had made it his mission to destroy the "Judeo-Bolshevic World Order."

Later that day the staff found pictures of the Chainlink logo stapled everywhere.

Even later they realized he stole most of shoes and striped pyjamas left by the gassing victims from the display. CCTV caught him walking around Salesforce HQ in the pyjamas pretending to be a ghost.

I can't believe anyone would buy a coin made by this guy.

>>17144239
No, I wasn't, but I can see why you'd think so lmao

>>17144211
STOP FUCKING LAUGHING AND DO IT PROPERLY THIS IS FUNNY THIS ISNT A JOKE THIS IS A REAL PERFORMANCE GET A GRIP YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

>>17144280
hey its no biggie we both have teal ID’s we’re essentially the same person
>>17144259
doing this now
what a fun way to spend a weekend sick in bed

>>17143876
BASED

I'm a Muslim man but I have to admit that pregnant Sergey really turns me on. I keep fantasizing about putting my seed inside him and watching new life grow... We get married, he gives birth, and we raise that baby under the blessings of Allah. I want to hold hands with Sergey, and looking into his eyes say 'I love you.' I think of myself taking our son to his first day at school, watching that strong and masculine boy develop amazing computer skills like his dad.

Yes... I can't hide this anymore. It's coming from deep inside of me... this desire to shout...

I'M GAY AND I HOLD CHAINLINK! Yes, and I am not the only one. I was attracted to this community because of the feeling of brotherhood that it creates. Together we are one. We are above gender divisions and categories. Chainlink, as you know, is a gay sex position where men stick their dicks into each other's asses to form a link.

Today, I declare Chainlink to be the currency of the LGBT community.

I'M GAY AND I HOLD CHAINLINK. YES! I'M GAY AND I LOVE SERGEY! WOW! I'M GAY AND YOU ARE TOO! TOGETHER, WE ARE GAY LINKIES AND NOTHING CAN STOP US!

I'M GAY! AND I LOVE TO SAY IT! I'M GAY, I'M GAY, I'M GAY AND I WORSHIP SERGEY! CHAINLIK! CHAINLIK! CHAINLIK!

NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!
NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!
NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!

>>17144193
I tried, maybe I'll give it a better go

>>17144193
https://voca.ro/iWSYbXalktt
forgot link

https://vocaroo.com/gRGXet4fFgm

Hilarious post

>>17144320
https://voca.ro/gEUE3arZAp5

>>17144299
you're gonna have to pay me for that buddy
>>17144259
https://voca.ro/4t74owILbhY

>>17144398
based and chechen-pilled

>>17144360
Thank you that was beautiful. I can sleep peacefully now that someone has done it.

>>17144320
top kek, thank you for making this pumping evening better fren

>>17143624
off yourself

Someone have the pasta about Sergey burning bills at a club in San Francisco?

>>17144398
toppest of keks the others were great but this one is my favorite

>>17144398
There is no way your not an arab, that accent was fucking spot on lmao

>>17143876
Extremely based

https://voca.ro/cE4kPQZQ7Io

Cringe

>>17144643
https://voca.ro/isKw35salqx
I screwed up the last part

I pledge allegiance to the Whitepaper of ChainLink, and to the oracles for which it stands, one NEET under Sergey, indivisible, with lambos and asian whores for all."

R.I.P Zyzz
https://voca.ro/h44z8Le3VNP

>>17144698
https://voca.ro/c3wE9ZknRh6

bump

>>17143876
desu im in tears, extremely based

>>17143697
>https://voca.ro/hlPkDp6f4yi
Fucking A

>>17144643

For those who haven't seen just how much better Paul Allen's is.

>>17143876
this is extremely based
glad i'm not the only one that has gone insane

>>17145494
Nice

>>17143624
At work now. Someone do one based on my OC

Good luck

>>17143624
https://old.vocaroo.com/i/s0w1DNJM2Mgl
https://old.vocaroo.com/i/s1sYutqYLL0p
https://old.vocaroo.com/i/s1wLNBkRztQh
this shit right here

>>17144188

This is garbage, the tone is wrong. This story works best in a normal tone of voice. The narrator is the straight man and sergey is being the strange one. If the narrator sounds crazy it makes him unreliable and undercuts the humor. Use your fucking head anon.

>>17144405
>https://voca.ro/4t74owILbhY
fucking kek'ed, made my day, thanks based vocarooanon

>>17144860
WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT

>>17145731
man these ones are good

>>17143876
Fucking kek I love you bros I want all of these types of spergs to be rich as fuck and rule the world

>>17143876
>https://vocaroo.com/b1aQoUBrxki

>>17144218
the memes were there to disguise it and it seems it worked just as planned. us rich. you poor. hahahahahahha

>>17145731
Lets go my nigga we rich now

>>17143876
No, none of it is real. It's a scam invented by a literal Russian Jew.

>>17144659
Good job desu

>>17143876
I can feel this in my soul

>>17143876
My god how can one man be this fucking based
Extremely bullish

>>17146392
PEE POO!!

>>17143624
Can you recite my poem, anon?

"Nigger de doo
Nigger de dee
Asuka's better
Rei is poopoo peepee"

>>17143876
>https://vocaroo.com/b1aQoUBrxki
ok now this is 200 IQ

>>17143876

are ya winning son?

>>17146418
No wage cage for me
No wage cage for me
FUCK YOU BEZOS
NO WAGE CAGE FOR ME

my strategy is to invest around 1 to 10% in whatever i see will be jumping high