/biz/ - Business & Finance

why were the pants laughing?
because they were cackies lol

Don't ever post on my board again

>>16670243
yeah I'm thinking he's a comedic genius

>>16670243
get out

>>16670243
You need to go back

>>16670314
based how much can I charge for this

>>16671109
>how much can I charge for this
However much you can sell the salt from this thread for

>>16670304
>>16670498
>>16670524
what do you call a bunch of posts on /biz/ that stink more than pajeets?
post numbers 16670304, 16670498, and 16670524
>>16671124
based

Comedy is making a simple sentence and throwing in curse words every other word. The best simple sentences are about body fluids or connecting two random objects. For example *ahem*

>this motherfucking plane has motherfucking snakes

>>I was fucking this bitch when suddenly I fucking shit farted. Now get back to da chopper. Damnit come in. Hurry!

Protip: do every thing in Arnold Schwarzenegger voice or Samuel jackson voice.

>>16670243

What're some good rape pickup lines?

>>16670243
Here's a joke for ya OP:
What if a retard was gay?

>>16671159
haha what if Bach ended his concerts by saying "I'll be Bach" in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice or something that would be a good bit for something like tv programs on late night tv lol
>>16671179
bend over and i'll tell you haha
>>16671183
then he'd be you haha

>>16671296

>>16671128
I agree these fags are no fun fren

Why is there window above the kitchen sink?
So women get a point of view too

>>16671307
pic rel
>>16671308
based, all women are whores

why do we call old newspapers "newspapers" if there's nothing new on them anymore?

>>16671296
>>16671308
>>16671319
>>16671336
stop

why did the salad get kicked out of the restaurant?
it was too raunchy haha

tell me one about women and minorities operator

>>16671372
what do you call a black woman's children?
dingleberries

I used to do drugs,
I still do but I used to too

>>16671435
very nice

>>16671435
I hate it when my friend says 'here's a photograph of me when I was younger'
I'm like 'dude, every photograph of you is when you was younger.'
Show me a photograph of you when you was older, I'd be like 'damn, how did you do that?'

Chad went on vacation to the Virgin Islands
They are now called just 'the islands'

pee pee.... poo poo

Boy its rough I tells ya, I get no respect, sometimes my wife talks on the phone during sex. I can her the guy telling her to hang up, boy its rough I tells ya. I don't get any action, the last time I got fetl up was when someone pickpocketed my wallet.

>>16671621
*she tells ME to hang up

>>16670243
what an absolute lad
you deserve to be rich

>>16670243

how do I be a comedian op

ok, uhhhh

PREGNANT BLACK TRANNY JEW

3 year professional here

" My mom is always telling me to quit stand up."

"She tells me to go into the family business."

"We come from an Austrian Family."

" I say fuck you mom Killing Jews isnt cool anymore:"

>>16670243
Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at when you're talking to them!

>>16671999
this is great

>>16670304
>>16670498
>>16670524
disgusting npcs

>>16671969
go to open mics work them as much as you can eventually if you are any good you'll get invited to do paid shows.

>>16670243
>>16670243
dont worry OP they all laughed when i said i wanted to become a comedian. well they arent laughing now

>>16672029
I hate my wife's habit of starting a conversation with
>you haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you?

whenever I wake up my family always screams and yells things like
>dad, watch the road! put your hands on the wheel

Dad use to have a saying
>Laughter is the best medicine
I guess that's why three of us died from Polio

I wanted to be a fortune teller but I couldn't see a future in it

Women huh? can't live with them, have to pay alimony if you don't

I don't know why they want me to go back on my meds, the umbrella rabbit man tells me I'm healthy as a flame breathing dolphin

Childhood is wanting to be the Batman, adulthood is realizing the Joker got away because he fathered an egg with Robin, hey!

How do you know Jesus was black?
Only god knows where the daddy was

What do you call a black guy in a suite?
By his name you fucking racist prick!

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but it's the patriarchy's act of microagression that it needs changing at all

>Hey honey, do you know what's the difference between your tits and your sisters?
>What? No... the areola
>It's a rhetorical question you dumb broad, I'm fucking your sister

>>16671179
Does this smell like chloroform to you?

An old jewish lady had a husband she suspected was cheating on her so one day she stayed home and hid in the closet. she was old so she dozed off. a few hours later she awoke to screaming coming from the bedroom. she rushed in and found her husband moishe having ritual sex with a goy child while tearing its skin off. relieved, she joined in and they bonded together over their ancient custom.

that's it.

>>16671435
Mitch hedgeberg lol

>>16673000
checked

>>16670243
just be yourself

>>16670243
good one fren, made me laugh

I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for the men that will eventually fuck her in every hole.

Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to fuck her tight pussy every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.

As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically