/biz/ - Business & Finance

Thanks for the Kek.
Best thread on here for 3 years

>>16177979
I bought this for my grandma

>>16177979

>>16177995
what emergencies do you have in the shower? Gotta take a massive brap?

>>16178008
Like, slipping and falling down and breaking your hip or back or something, dumbass. It's for old people.

>>16178008
I don't know. If you slip and fall that button would be out of reach.

>>16177979
stop making fun of boomers

>>16177979
>Accidentally coom

>>16178008
Her face looks like she slipped and got stuck over a jacuzzi jet

>>16178036
What kind of little tiny manlet arms do you have? Set it at a reasonable place low by your knees and you have a pretty good chance of hitting the button if needed. Certainly better than no button and just laying there... in the what would eventually be freezing cold water, hitting you nonstop as you lay broken in the tub, until one of your children notice after a month and a half they havent heard from you and stood by to check on you. And find you as a nasty dissolving corpse getting slowly washed down the drain

>>16177987
this kekd 4 real

>I'm sorry boomer, looks like your premium membership has expired, reason: your 401k does not cover for any of our plans

>>16178035
Eh I'll just stick with the massive brap theory

>>16178072
Fucking newfag retard.

>>16178117
fuck you

>Thread reminded me to laugh, you kids get of my lawn now. Get going

>>16178072
based

>always hate on apple watches and other meme "fitness" things
>if my dad (51) had one (or maybe one of these, though that's arguable that it'd be any good), he might have gotten help and not died to a massive heart attack a few months ago since they can alert ambulances and shit
:^(

>>16178330
Sorry about your dad. Was he by himself when it happened? How long did it take for someone to find him?

>>16178330
Your dad do a lot of blow back in the day?

>>16178330
i hope i die way before 51

>>16178438
Abridged version because
>telling anons about your problems
>costanza.png

>He's home alone because mum's out of town visiting family and I and my sister have long since moved out
>Tries to call, no response, which is very odd
>Freaks out a bit, calls a friend who lives in the area to go check on things
>Keeled over in the kitchen, (right next to phone), pronounced ded on the scene, massive heart attack

>>16178604
Bad genetics, he had a pacemaker for like 10 years so in retrospect it's not too surprising.

>>16178609
Same, fortunately I'm sure I'll be dead in a few years due to my extremely healthy habits.

>>16177979
She can barely move, tickle her feet.

>>16177979
kek

>>16179330
hot

>>16180490
yeah you can just tell by her expression that she wants the big bleck pp

>>16177979
How much link for this old bat?