/biz/ - Business & Finance

Don't get it. sorry

>>16174836
Are you presenting? I cant see anything

>>16174851
Fuck off zoomer

>>16174860
29 years old and I have at least 10 years experience from corporate environments and meetings, still don't get OP's post

>sorry my mic was muted

>>16174836
M......ning maaaaaark. jo....n here from uuuuuuuu office. Does anyone havvvv the Ptzo...n report?

Grace had to go home to take care of her dog but she said she'd call in. Let me just ping her on her cell and see if she's there.

I'm on my way got caught in traffic can you hear me? Hello?

Who do we have on the line?

>>16174872
It's a conference call with technical issues.
>at least 10 years
How do you not know the exact amount?

>>16174933
Hourly jobs in hs count as experience, r-right

>>16174836

>Good mornings everybody this is Patel from IT support, I am covering for Rajesh since he is out of station on holiday. Can you all kindly do the needful and do speak louder, the connection is make many crackle.

*beep boop*
>Hey who just joined the call? ...Hello? ... ... Anyways as I was saying

>>16174836
>That's a question for Henry.
>Is Henry in today?

Unfortunately, I missed last week's meeting. Can somebody get me up to speed on the game plan moving forward so that I can help promote synergy throughout my department?

>>16174836
>We're having a great day here at the Sarasota branch!
>Daykwon, is our new Assistant VP of Diversity, he's going to announce the new initiatives for direct hires.
>Then when we are all on the same page I will chime in and drill down so that we home our influences among key stakeholders regarding expansion
>Laqueesha, you're on the line with KPI's
>Go!

>>16176152
Hi TreQuan!...next time I'm down in Sarasota lunch is on me at Suzie's Soul Kitchen....I just LUV the ribs and collards there....

Did anyone ever find Henry?!?

>Checking in at an 8 today
>Checking out at a 0.

HELLOOOO CAN YOU HEAR ME

...mike, call the IT guy

>>16174836
This shit, this whole fucking thread, makes me want to kill someone. I am never working in sales again.

>>16175956
Sure thing buddy. We are currently signing off on actioning an update to a proposal to rollout a bluesky strategy to highlight the need for inter-department inclusion to meet our diversity goals in respect to our photocopying usage policy (S:IT:PC:2018-07) in order to reduce our footprint. Everyone should have got an email CC'd to them with a copy of the minutes to the meeting and the draft action plan attached, but it is also on the department's "work in progress" sub-folder for last month on the company intranet.

>>16176152
>>16176202
I really hope companies HQ'd in Sarasota don't become pozzed. Maybe they already have been

>Hello? Hey, this is Mark. Sorry I'm late, just had to tie up a couple loose ends on the Midwest conference. What did I miss, can somebody give me a run down?

if you're not talking please put yourself on mute, there's a lot of noise coming through the line

>>16174836
>hey, im there, sorry, i was just real busy responding an emaiil to one of the smallest clients to try resolve a 4 year ongoing issue that's costing us nothing but half of my working day. I'm back tho, finally, it's great to here! Oh hold up, i forgot, I left my coffee in the kitchen, can you give me a minute... i'll be right back.

>>16177624
>busy responding an emaiil to one of the smallest clients to try resolve a 4 year ongoing issue that's costing us nothing but half of my working day
Fuck me this hits close to home. Why are the smallest clients always the ones that demand the most attention? I don't fucking care that you're losing $10 of revenue a fucking month because YOU fucked something up goddamn boomer

>>16174954
Only if you were stuffed in a half cubicle.

>>16176854
Thanks for catching me up. I'm afraid I didn't get CC'd on that email... Or if I did, my inbox isn't working properly. Is IT on this call? Could somebody help me get ahold of Randeep Mahem Karagupta-Shingesh?

>ok, now that everything is settled for this week, I want all the department heads to stay to iron some other issues out.

>>16177743
>yeah, im sorry Jeff, there is still major issues with our email servers... it clearly shows i sent the email but it never gone out? I even lost the template, therefor I have to stay over time to finish god, oh gee, and i start early tomorrow as well. Oh well, thank god it's friday so i can go for Thai Pad for lunch with the team for 45 minutes instead of 30. :)

>>16174836
>*bang bang*
>*screams*
>SOMEONE CALLS THE COPS SHIT SHIT
>*bang bang bang*
>O-OH FUCK PHIL PLEAS-
>*bang*

>>16177919
Now might be as good a time as any to mention that we will be bringing in a mental health expert to train several classes in healthily releaving stress. That Phil was always in good spirits - "How's it going Phil?" "I'm going to kill everyone someday." I'll miss our chats! What's everyone doing for lunch?

>>16176692
fucking this, this thread is amazingly painful and effective, thought I was tough coming in

>>16177930
I was thinking that new Italian place but me and the wife already hit up the Olive Garden on Sunday for our 10 year anniversary dinner.

>>16178071
Has it been ten years already? Time flies, eh? Belated congrats! I still can't believe I drank two beers at your wedding. I never let loose like that.

I told my boss that I can't do video chats because of poor internet but really it's so I can call in with a phone and just put it on speakerphone and mute while I post on 4chan and smoke weed

>>16174877
kek, very accurate.

http://conferencecall.biz/
how long can you last /biz/?

>>16176854
reading this just makes me want to kill myself violently.

>>16174836
>Thanks for everyone's time today. I know things are busy for everyone so we'll try to keep this quick and maybe get some time back.
>Who do we have on the call? I see Mark, Joe and Katie from firm X. I see Jim's on the line, how are you Jim? And Michael from firm Y
20 minutes of two people talking about the actual problem. Occasional bits from others on the line.
>It looks like we will get some time back. Thanks for everyone jumping on today. I'll send a write up of what we went over and action items.
7 awkward goodbyes
>Rise and repeat 40/5/52

>>16178289
Why do people even do conference calls why not just have a transcript for people to skim through

>>16177919
Kek. Every thread like this...

>>16177919
By the way we're still gonna need an owner for your action items. I'll loop in the hospital to touch base with you or your next of kin.

>ah! had my phone on mute.. this is steve from operational end user computing enterprise risk. i can take the minutes!!

>>16177645

I forget who said it but there's an inverse relationship between the amount people pay for something and the amount of time/resources they feel you should spend dealing with them on any post-sale issues.

>Corey, Financial Evangelist
>Jen, Social Media Rockstar
>Dave, Management Specialist
>Terri, Compliance Adjustor
>Tom, Lead Advocate
>Jeff, Associate Process Improvement
>Frank, Chief Diversity Officer
>Phil, Product Owner
>Les, Junior Strategist
>Go!

>>16179398
>Devon, Growth Hacker

>>16179398
>>16179442

Every position requires an advanced degree and 5 years experience. It pays 18k, starting.

>>16179398
>Sarah, Data Ethics and Integrity Manager

>>16174836
>>16174856
AHHH THIS FUCKING HAPPENED TO ME TODAY
I WANNA KMS MAKE IT STOP

>>16174836

anybody have the link to the website that imitates a conference call? fucks my shit up every time I listen to it

>>16174836

http://conferencecall.biz/

http://conferencecall.biz/

http://conferencecall.biz/

http://conferencecall.biz/

>>16179569
Holy shit, it's bits and pieces of every conference call I've been a part of. Only thing it's missing is the person who inevitably has echo feedback or some awful signal interference. Hahahahaha I'm dying.

>>16179569
Office and especially conferences is absolute hell with idiots/fags/women/grandstanders. White Collar Work is only fun when you’re in a team with stone cold professionals that focus on success, are prepared, know what they are doing, behave effective & efficient (happens sadly like once in a lifetime at best).

>>16174933
>Simple conference call has technical issues
>cryptocurrency will adopted

>>16179775
>Retards delete system32
>nobody will ever use Windows

>>16179569
stop. stop. stop. STOP. STOP. STOP STOP

>>16179775
>the internet will never take off since most people don't know how to attach a file to an email

>>16179569
>http://conferencecall.biz/
kino

>>16179569
cursed I hate it

>>16179569
based

>>16174836
A wagie associate of mine told me how he's going to start taking up overtime in the office.
He looked exhausted.

>>16180756
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, kek