/biz/ - Business & Finance

Have sex

>>15779576
With my boss? That's taking it a little too far Anon.

Start killing your co-workers and doing their work.

>>15779563
I don't get it

>>15779563
You messed up
You should have strolled into his office, looked him straight into the eye while giving him a firm handshake
Your hand feels warm, moist, he's confused, he looks at it, glistening, your squishy yet tight grip is unyielding, you look him in the straight in the eye, smiling.
Then he notices, you aren't wearing a brown suit, you're entire body is smeared in shit, then he looks around at his office, everything is brown, shit smears the walls, the desk, the leather chair, that's not leather, it's shit, everything is smeared in shit.
You shake his hand tighter, a little goo seeps out, but there's still rich juicy ass condiment between the fingers, you don't let go.
He's becoming scared, he tries to scream, but no sound comes out, it's like he's lost his tongue, but he hasn't, his tongue is now a think juicy shit writhing and slithering in his mouth.
You look at his brown eyes, slowly filling with shit, his vision, it's going dark it's going, submerged in endless shit, you still hold tight, staring into those once life filled sockets now filled with fat juicy shit, he tries to flail, shit is flying everywhere, the office is filled with shit, the door breaks, the windows shatter, the pressure of the shit is more than any simple office was designed to take.
The fountain of shit boils out of the door, out of the window, a fountain of shit fires high into the sky, casting a beatufil shitbow, it's brown, half a brown donut is seen by the astounded onlookers.
They drop what they were doing, drop their pants, and they just shit, they shit hard, cars are careening down the freeway spurting shit as they go and emitting a continuous rasping sound while they leave a spicy trail of oil and burnt shit behind them.
This is the world now.
The world.
The world is shit.

>He puts his hands in his pockets and stands up, puts his chair into the other desk and leaves
>"Hehe nice thing is he's a big fan of me"
>Just like that I'm left alone, I decide it's about time I do a bit of research
>Oh, what should I research?
>Grammar.
>"What? Huh?" I thought I would get a grammar reference from his job and now I'm in an unproductive conversation.
>"Are you sure you're not gonna use some of those words again?"
>"No,
>After the two of us talked for a while, we both got ready for bed
>On a Thursday at 8, my boss starts to roll out his new product plan
>It just came out on his blog and I just read it through this morning to get the gist of it, and I have no idea what to expect
>I see my mom working out in a corner of the office, and I feel weird like she's going to come up to me and do something weird with me
>I start on the computer and start to use all these words.
>The words.
>There's a lot

>>15779563
>not much work in my home town
thats like telling a girl you are dating you have no other options and no other women find you attractive

shower, shave and put down a competitive job offer that pays more than you are getting now. thats how u get a raise. stop being a salty fish

sage

>>15779563
Did you actually do this or is this a shitpost? I need to know.

>>15779587
Why ? its worked for screwtaries since screwtaries were invented. Proud, or rich. Pick one

>>15779563
Ok, now start smearing the smegma on from your dirty balls all over your body for an extra penetrating smell. Don't relent anon. Assert your dominance.