/biz/ - Business & Finance

No shit, you think mr shekelberg wants to pay some got who does nothing? Lmao get cucked faggot

>>15729402
>mfw jelq at work at mr shekelberg's expense
get on my level, plebs

>>15729420
I have to poop a lot

>>15729440
So wear a diaper and shit yourself at your desk while maximizing productivity like a good goyim

You did this, didn't you?

>have a job where I have nothing to do unless something breaks
>get in trouble for not "looking" busy

>>15729402
i take 30 minute breaks and 1 hr lunches. Im supposed to take 2 10 minutes break and 30 min lunches. Goyem can go fuck himself. I would take longer breaks, but another person got fired for making it too excessive

>>15729402
>
Is your favorite singer buddy whackit?

>>15729402
Tell them you have IBS.

>>15729639
Republicans: Doesn't work bring meaning to your meaningless lives???? I cant believe you aren't having fun being someone's bitch! The fuck is wrong with you?!?! *foams from mouth*

>>15729402
fapping or constipated?
>>15729639
Put an emulator and ROMs on a USB drive and play the great jrpg classics like chronotrigger and ff. Or stuff to read

>>15729675
Kill yourself commie

>>15729695
*foams from mouth more*

>>15729402
When I was an intern at a very well known institution, I got sick and got diarrhea...rather than call out sick (which I should have) I stuck it out because the company ceo was going to be on site for the day and I wanted to show face. From the moment I walked in I was cramping and went to the bathroom at least five times before lunch. At lunch all of us interns had lunch with the entire board as part of the meet and greet and when we sat down the ceo pointed at me and goes ‘what’s your name and where you from?’ and I told him...without batting an eye he said ‘maybe we should hire you as our new janitor because you love the bathroom so much’ ...I was fucking mortified as they all laughed. True story I wish wasn’t.
>not even working in that field anymore

Based coomer.

>>15729772
That's what you get brown noser

>>15729772
Happened to me as well. Was sick and shitting all day but didn't want to be a pussy and go home. Boss just comes up and tells me to stay home the next day because we "weren't busy". I was like OK thanks I guess. On Monday my friend who works next to her comes and says "got suspended for sitting in the bathroom, eh?"

I was so fucking pissed. Not even that she suspended me, I was mad that she lied about it and I couldn't even explain that I was sick that day.

>>15729772
Fuck that CEO. Hopefully he shit himself at a very important meeting.

>>15729805

Is there this thing where you don't tell your boss that you are sick with diarrhea?

>>15729865
Do bosses where you live care about you or something? My experience is that if you get sick, it's your fault, so it's better to just not tell your boss you're sick.

>>15729772
kek at trying to impress a faggot.

>>15729402
>My first office job
>Team with only middle aged women
>Went to toilet lots to bludge and send memes to friends back when I had them
>Come back to desk
>45yo childless boss lady says she needed me for something but I was absent
>Told her I needed to poo lots because of coffee she buys me
>Awkward glances exchanged throughout team
>Kept buying me coffee and never questioned my absence
She totally wanted to sniff

I honestly dont think I could have survived any of my jobs without bathroom breaks
Imagine if shitting wasnt real

>>15729559
Fucking Kek

>>15729848

... while his wife is fucking the sexy intern

>>15729789
This

>buy sandwhich meat but forget about it when i get home, like a fucking derelict
>notice the next day
fuck it, it's still good
>put in fridge
>eat next day
>monday morning
i feel like shit, do i have the flu?
>go to work anyway, it gets better sort of
>tuesday morning, i got cramps but i can't shit
>leave for work, i'm really gassy tho
>walking fast because i have to catch the train
>really gassy, gotta fart
OH SHIT
>waddle back home, change pants, throw away underwear
>go to bathroom, have life-changing diarrhea
That's food poisoning for you. Thank God it happened before I got on the train lol

>>15729772
Too bad you didnt have any balls back then because that would have been the absolute perfect opportunity to assert your dominance by pulling your pants down and sharting all over the conference table.