/biz/ - Business & Finance

How do I get in on this anon? What should I learn, and what should I pretend to know?

The government needs to provide every single male with a female like this. All wars, poverty and hate would end within seconds. Proof me wrong.

Shes made for BBC

>>15702050
I'm currently in my 2nd year of CS, I don't feel confident in my coding skills at all. How do I get into what you're doing?

>>15702133
>proof
kys

Please, PLEASE tell me how I can get to where you are right now.

>>15702114
Im a business analyst. I have a liberal arts degree (I know it's useless, I dropped out of a STEM major cause laziness), and took any bullshit internship I could fine. I've worked with such shitty companies that one time HR knowingly hired a convicted rapist. Now I'm at a better company with much higher standards, but most of the people who don't have to eat shit to get here just study information systems or CS and proved they weren't autistic in the interview.

>>15702157
>>15702180

See

>>15702185

>>15702050
you made it, bro. don't take it for granted. congrats on the great gig

>>15702050
I'm one of these IT wagecuckers working 60 hours in an office in the banking industry for literally less than 20k/year in the third world.

Advanced knowledge from DB to infrastructure to BI, etc...

How is your situation even possible? Where is that? WTF?!

>>15702138
You're made for BBC you small dick cucked faggot, unless you are a nig then, carry on

>>15702050
I work from home making about the same, but I'm in oil and gas. There are two downsides for me:

> market is shit right now and has been in a """"downturn"""" for 5 years
> I have my own LLC so I get fucked in the ass with taxes

I live in a low cost area and run circles around everyone else I work with. It's pretty comfy but I worry about work slowdowns constantly.

>>15702185
>proved they weren't autistic in the interview.
>tfw autistic cs major

>>15702250
Get an American masters and double your salary? Sorry man

>>15702050
I am a tech consultant too. Can confirm. I travel 50% but when I’m home I literally fap,workout, cook and trade crypto to have more income and since I’m bored “working” 40 hours a week. Make 75k a year and really only actually work 10 hours a week with no hard skills besides not being to spersgy and knowing how to use a computer better than boomers. Manager wants me to be promoted next year because of my work. I don’t get it, the less I do the more people like me.

Tl;dr op is not lying, kush jobs exist.

>>15702666
>checked
can confirm, I'm making $120k and work in office but basically 8 hours a day and not busy half the time. The less I do, the better it seems to go.

>>15702666
>>15702829
Fucking how. I dream of this.

What was your path to get here? What kind of companies do I need to look out for? I have a diploma in IT the equivalent of a Bachelor's but I haven't worked in tech for 7 years.

>>15702133
There aren't 4 billions "females like this" you daft cunt

Yup, been doing this for about seven years and every year I do a little less. Got a promo last month. Making 130k.
Boring as fuck but I get to cook and workout all day. I have a startup I work on in the mornings and I’m usually done altogether by noon.

My life is a joke.

Same story. Business analyst here. 80k. 8 hours of work a week. Rest fucking around on youtube. Some days I'll do a bunch of mock ups and user stories then I'll coast for a month or two. Also testing.

>>15702050

You are basically me. I do code, though. Recently turned down a switch to a manager job without any code at all (don't want skills to atrophy, and while I deal well with people I don't like doing it a lot - that's a woman's job). People are happy with me, to. I know our - fairly complex - product very well and help folks who are stuck working on it somewhere.

> Something still doesn't feel right, but it's been almost a year plus of this.

More than 10 years in my case. But you're on to something. Something isn't right indeed...

> Especially when I hear people with real tech jobs working 60 hours in an office.

...and it's not that, but it's related. These idiots think they are working on something important, hell they might even think they're saving the world. But they are not. Consider a somewhat dusty tech giant: IBM. That expands to International Business Machines.

> Business
> Machines

We are building fucking office equipment. And it's being hyped like there's no tomorrow. So I for one have similar worries to >>15702527

> It's pretty comfy but I worry about work slowdowns constantly.

Indeed. At some point the hype is going to end. And once that happens, this industry is going to stop paying generous salaries for pointless make-work.

>>15702829
>>15702666
what degree and job

>>15702050
You get paid to think, you don’t get paid to work. Working is for plebs.

>>15702050

I stopped reading at
>IT job as a "consultant"

Invest in low cap crypto projects if you want to make it. Gaming has future, Ultra UOS is the future

Damn, these easy comfy jobs sound real nice.

>>15702666

I dont see how jobs like this are even possible anymore with businesses doing there damndest to waterdown IT to call centers, and overwork as small a number of people as possible.

Then I imagine that many of the pajeets on their scam H-1Bs are in your same position and it pisses me off.

>>15702050
My job is fairly close to this. The best part is the autonomy. I can work where and whenever I want, so I’ll just stay at home jacking off for a week, solve some issues or requests and I’m good.

Feels like a blessing really.

>>15703425
I'm the O&G anon and I have a somewhat opposite opinion. Oil has been down for fucking years, but look what one little drone strike did to the price. This is a severely oversold market, everyone is back to driving SUVs and cheap gas, saying the oil industry is over, Greta blah blah blah. I think something is going to pop off and it's going to spike HARD and they won't be able to hire enough of us fast enough. People don't realize every fucking thing they use contains petroleum products, not just gasoline.

I'm on the legal/regulatory/compliance side of things. The great thing about that is the government never votes itself less power, so there's always new rules and regulations to abide by.

>>15702185
But then what job or set of "responsibilities" in a company do you shoot for to get in this comfy position?

>>15703631
You gotta get yourself into a ‘high skill’ business which basically employs zero wagie-tier grunts like helpdesk workers. Then you get on the business side of the technical IT and you can coast doing pretty basic ‘higher skill’ IT work like querying and simple coding or reporting. Being in a ‘higher skill’ company basically gives most employees free reign over their own work / schedule / location because these companies know that wagie crowd control tactics backfire on a smarter crowd. You just step in to do make use of that free reign.

At least that’s how it can work here in western europe.

>>15703535
>>15703631
>>15703457
MIS degree. Tech consultant. They are cutting but that means they bring in consultants


>>15703425
Fucking this people get so hyped up for tech but only about 5% of an organization is on the cutting edge. If you are just realistic about what you do (test, write user stories, and bullshit) and have to do to move to the next level it’s pretty easy. It’s retarded how easy it is as long as you just have any semblance of what is going on. Truth is nobody wants to work at x tech corporation, nobody wants to be there, and frankly nobody fucking cares so don’t be all giddy about a fucking Stupid job. What we do is irrelevant, it’s not important. It reminds me of office space when he recognizes how stupid this shit is and stops giving a fuck. His life changes for the better, thats how you have to handle it. Also always say you’re busy and have “limited bandwidth” nobody can verify that so you always look busy despite doing nothing

In a similar situation. This is a symptom of the clown world free money economy. It can’t last forever and then we will have to go back to actually doing something useful.

>>15703882
See I’ve had a lot of conversations about this with mentors and managers...it is valuable because there are so many retards out there. Best thing you can do is build skills and spend your time wisely.

>>15702138
what the fuck is wrong with you. Every thread.

>>15702050
OP, I envy you.
I could have been you, time and time again, but every time it came to billing, I always felt guilty about doing so little. Really cucked mentality.
I've suffered stress for years due to this, then God punished me for my insolence, I had an accident, and I fucked up a nerve in my back that, in return, fucked up both my hands. Now I cannot work. I can still type a little, but not enough to work everyday.
Keep charging, keep making money, eat the world.
Don't refuse your bless out of something as pathethic as guilt or thinking you are not doing enough or some shit.

>>15703312

Your life is a fucking dream.

>>15702050
>>15702666
>>15703425

All these BS make-work jobs you (we) worry about have been around for fucking years. Some anon mentioned Office Space - that movie is 20 years old and resonated with a ton of people because it's true. The good/bad part about it is that those kinds of horse shit jobs exist pretty much everywhere - especially in government where those people do NOTHING and get paid because there's a "use it or lose it" budget system in place.

I'd say most of you tech guys are pretty safe. Everyone seems to have a favorable opinion of your industry (unlike oil and gas), so as long as the dough keeps rolling in, you'll be alright for the next 20-30 years before someone realizes how pointless these jobs are.

>>15703731
I'm in O&G too anon, I work in the field but we also depend on regulations which makes clients hire us. It's comfy financially but sucks having to bust ass in the field, with no time to work on long term goals. I'm almost too autistic for field work too, but hoping I can eventually find something on the business side that isn't too social

>>15703312
how did you find this job? were you looking for remote jobs? this is what i want to do.

>>15702527
How did you find this job? If you are an IT consultant, how do you get connected to customers?

>>15704483
I'm not in IT sorry. I have my law degree and they pay a premium to bill clients for "having a lawyer reviewing things."

I'm a spreadsheet monkey, that's it. And I got this job by cold-emailing actually.

>>15702185
>and proved they weren't autistic in the interview.

why does everyone hate us?

>>15704409

I'm glad those guys are able to get away with that but I don't understand how they're able to do that.

With the prevalence of Agile ScrumTM in IT companies, you have mandatory standups where you have to report your work everyday (despite the "collaboration" and "unblocking" memes), along with being put in open offices which act as panopticons (again, under the precept of the "collaboration" meme). Not to mention your obligatory sprint reviews from two to two weeks where you have to show new work...

I won't even get started on how apparently their managers think their doing a good job and very easily get raises...

Meanwhile, here I am working my ass off under a performance review which is mostly random and working on an environment with really high standards for your work performance... and I'm getting paid as a typical southern yuropoor... worst of all, I'm working in a trendy field (memechine learning) and it evens pays WORSE than your regular software development job considering the know how you need to have.

Goddamn it, I want a comfy job like those guys.

>>15702050

I work in an office doing web dev work, but also only about 35 hours there a week. I'm slowing "working from home" more and more and am gonna just declare, "I'll be working from home these days," soon and expect it to be accepted fine.

About half the time I do no work, and instead am working on choosing the best releases to build up my pirated anime collection, and building txt files for each title, showing details for subs, encode info, etc.

The work is easy, PHP, mysql, simple CSS and HTML. A junior high student could do it. Paid lunches from restaruants we choose every day and beer on tap. Essentially unlimited vacation. $81k salary + $7k EoY bonus. First dev job.

It all feels very boring, though. Without any challenging work, and so much free time, it feels like my life is wasting away. I was much happier working part time walking dogs or hanging posters, even if poor as fuck, because the work was interesting and fairly free and open.

Planning on learning some more React (functional with hooks) and getting out of this job soon, to one hopefully more challenging, but life really does seem droll. Without challenges and everything just handed over on a platter, what's the point? Can wait to MAKE IT and retire early.

>>15703798
saying ‘western europe’ sounds fucky breh

>>15704518
What kind of clients? and what kind of companies are giving this service? Law school is an option for me.

>>15704604
What city is this? How can you keep the job while keeping the work output so low?

>>15702114
>>15702157
>>15702180
>>15703082
>>15703578
>>15704120
>>15704448

Personally, I got a CS degree at a shitty state school, graduating with a bachelors in 2010. Through my 20's I travelled and fucked around, mostly, though occasisonally also had a shitty IT job, though never for more than 7 months.

Then, at 32, last year, I decided to work in IT a bit longer, to save money to buy the dip on the coming stock market collapse and get over my "failed programmer" complex. Last October, I took four months, and studied web dev for 5 to 8 hours a day, first HTML, then CSS, then JS, then some React. I remembered what I learned in college, so it was pretty fast and easy, but even if I had never done it before, it still would have been very easy. I built portfolio site for myself and did some projects on it, based on what I was learning, but all very simple stuff, no databases even involved.

In January, I started applying for jobs. I applied for a bunch, but got nothing and was feeling down, but had an interview mid february, and got hired. I got hired as a Software Dev II, even though never having a dev job before, working mostly in PHP, even though I never had before, but mostly learned on the job. The guy they hired with me, similiar title and pay, is a 31 year old econ major who took a bootcamp for 6 months, no IT experience prior.

For web dev, I did MDN HTML guide, then MDN CSS guide, then "Eloquent Javascript" book for JavaScript, then React docs for react. If you've never programmed before, also learn some data strutures (stack, list, queue, etc.), and sorting and searching algorithms, plus do some basic work with SQL and databases.

After you learn the above, do some simple projects: a portfolio website, a catalogue program for your anime/music/ebooks, etc., some site selling something, some small game, etc.. It's still an employees market, and the worker shortage is expected to grow.

>>15704698
Also, don't get intimidated by job postings either. Even if you have only 1/3rd of the experience, skills, years, etc. listed, you're still qualified for the job. Apply even if you feel hopeless, and eventually you'll get something. While you're applying, keep learning more to build up your skills and portfolio.

>>15704670
Chicago, which is nice because rent is very cheap here too, unlike west coast tech jobs.

I pride myself in what I do output. Even though the languages we are using are old and depricated, I always make my code, clean, concise, effecient, and readable. Because I do that, people like my work and I get respect at the company.

Often times, there just isn't much work to do. Some times we have very busy weeks, but a lot of time we are just waiting for the business side to make requests on new stuff for us to program. When that happens, like the last two weeks, you just try and look busy.

Programming isn't like construction, where there is always something to be done. A lot of times its just waiting for work to come in and they're paying you just to be there for when work does come in. That, and of course corporate I don't think realizes how much downtime we really have, because they are so out of the loop and don't really care since they pay us $87k salary for products that much them many millions annually.

>>15702185
props to the other guy for giving his info. But I too have a useless degree, from a CC. You said it was informations systems or CS, but any tips on how/where to get started with those? What info do you have to know or fake?

>>15702133
Women with enough ambition to have bodies like these would probably kill themselves knowing they'd have to see you every day, anon.

>>15702050
What vidya do you play? I want to know what succesful people play.

>>15703798
This. Every anon ITT should swap companies until they're among people of roughly the same intelligence.

Cuts down massively on bullshit.

>>15704543
You are like a function that requires specific carefully declared inputs and people hate having to do this just so you can function.

>>15705589
Normie shit on the ps4. I quit pc/online gaming a long time ago

>>15705428
kek

I'm in school to finish a bachelors in business administration. I have no tech background. How do I pivot onto this path?

>>15705589
Arma 3.

>>15705870
Teach yourself a programming language, Python or whatever. Apply it to business problems so it gels with your current knowledge base.

>>15705883
lol I didn't ask you loser also you have shit taste

>>15705889
Is Python best for beginners?

>>15702050
I had a similar gig, anon. I went months with nothing to do. I would show up at 7am or so, in the (on-site) gym by 8:30, on the treadmill by 10:00, back at my desk by 11:00 then off to lunch until 1:00pm, then leave for home ~3:30pm. It was the most wonderful two years of my life.

>>15705883
arma 3 has stolen too many hours of my life lol

>>15705929
Neglected to mention I also left making $120k/year (if you include bonus). What a crazy life.

>>15702138
Shut up faggot

>>15703082
Just get an SAP certification or some shit. Then "consult"

>>15705924
Short answer, yes. Long answer, it really depends what kind of technical stuff you want to do long term.

Wtf how to do this guys? I have no hard skills, can't code.

>>15705971
Have you actually tried to learn?

>>15705954
Python is not a good language for beginners. Start with C, then C++, or Java. Python is too abbreviated for beginners.

>>15705987
I honestly just want a superior black cock to pound my tight white ass to be honest

>>15702050
Does the first letter of your company start with a C? If so, I've worked for them, and I know how that goes. Enjoy it. That's consulting work for ya. You're probably on a government project, aren't ya?

>>15704120
Damn anon sorry

>>15706073
This, start with C++, it's useful and teaches you about computers. Python almost gives you a false perception of programming, but it is very useful and an amazing language.