/biz/ - Business & Finance

HOLY FUCK BUY BUY BUY

It’s time, marines.
Pump eet

>>15501563
i aint touching that nigger

>>15501563
>stinky linkies use iPhones

>>15501563
>>He walks into your room, belt buckle undone with mcdonalds grease glistening his hairy chest
>>He loosely flings off his daily steve jobs plaid shirt
>>You brace yourself uncomfortable, the binds keeping you shackled spread eagled on the floor

"yes master, nulinkers deserve death."

He smiles.

He slowly walks over to you.

"And what do you say to the deceivers?"

"You'll never buy sub one dollar again! Nice try, didn't read, not selling!"

He assumes the position now, a chair on top of your bare naked chest. He grunts and let out a massive fart.

"That's right... I've been holding it in after doing the same presentation, it's nice and hot and stinky..." He trails off, a distant look in his eyes as he glances and looks at all the chainlink posters in the room.

He grunts and out comes, a fat nasty shit on your chest.

"Another 700k, dumped."

"Thank you master, partnership confirmed."

>>15501625
>https://apple.news/Ae4Ojk1SjRjiNsXCT2LhqGg
He inhales deeply then takes out a Cuban cigar. Lighting first a $100 bill then using it light the cigar. You can smell the ashy scent lingering in the room as the smoke drifts up.

"Th-they said... $32 million dollars isn't worth my Oracle solution."

Ecstasy over-flowing your body, you prepare yourself for the joy.

"Just imagine all the data being sanitized by reputation, like Uber. No sybil attacks, all ERC20 based."

He lets out another fart and grunts again.

"Another 700k!"

You shout ecstatically, "build that oracle solution, buy that towncrier! hire more devs!"

"I've give you something to cry about" He replies. Once more he grunts again and shits a violent flow of diarrhea, this time getting on your chin and lip.

"Who needs toliets?" He questions a shadowy figure in the corner.

"One of my Pajeet devs" He says smiling.

"I'll shill for you Master!" As you cry out, the sloppy heap of shit covering your body as it slides down.

"1k EOY is FUD!"

"No... I will give you the fud." He grunts again and proceeds to let out a gassy fart.

"Another 700k!" He cries out as he lets his sweet, hairy cheeks flap as another shit dumps out.

"Yeah, you like it linklet don't you? Who's my marine?"

"I am sir, proud to be a link marine, I've been collect since thirty cents. Please... sir... Please Binance me again."

He pauses, inhales and lets out another turd.

"Another 700k for expanding the team, Master?"

"No. For this expansion." He shits again as he groans. "Another 700k!"

"Who's my paypig", he questions.

"Me sir! A Cambodian basket weaving fisherman enthusiast form is all I need for financial advice."

That's right. He grunts again and begins to recite.

"You see, you can't pull data onto the blockchain, it's impossible, no one would ever create a simple contract to query Google."

You smile. "Yes Master, I'm your paypig."

"Sibos is going to be a yuuuge event, just like web3 and truffle. They keep expecting, but they can expect this, rgghhhhhh ahhhhh arghhhhh..."

"Thank you master. I promise to scrounge up what little money I have to throw at this fancy database contract while you dump 700k, thank you Master"

>>15501634
>>15501641
can you be more of a fag?

"Some faggots on a mongolian horse fishing competitive forum are tired of chainlink. Clearly they are bag holders and not just tired of the constant paid promotion that I was caught doing with literal indians to get this thing up. And it's not like I saw airdrops took off on 4chan and quietly plotted to create my own with my coworkers and came up with the first idea that popped into my head... I am a genius... arghhhhh"

"Another 700k master! Thank you, I will await September $10, October $10, November $10 and on and on."

"Yeah and the fucking SEC is on my ass and immigration is tracking me. Apparently being a God-like Russian causes problems in this petty country." He inhales deeply... "Cuban... a good flavor, did you know this cost me $3200?"

"Wow Master, I hope you buy more stuff..."

"Yes, I am time and the elements. You won't belive how many threesomes I've had with chink prostitutes in Asia. I get to travel around the world and do cool shit. Who the fuck needs an offic-of-of...arghhhhhhhh!"

"Another 700k Master!" By now, the dumps are covering your chest and slipping onto the cellophane beneath your back. The gassy farts have made you delirious with joy. "Name me one other token that has it's marketing done for it by NEETs. Name me one other token with such returns as ours and that is promising such returns. Money is free, Master and I give mine willing-"

"Arghhhhh! Another 700k!"

>>15501674

>>guys my ex/gf/wife found me out, we're broke but have 50k link thread
>>all in, never selling, always HODL thread
>>just risked my entire financial stability on this token, y-you guys should b-buy too right?
>>LINK will reach 1000 END OF YEAR
>>Insider here, just keep buying!
>>Some vague company has increased profits, all thanks to chinklink!

what other paid promotions am I missing?

>>15501692
Someone actually typed this all out, maybe there is something to chainlink after all

>>15501563
Is this a real link?

>>15501747
i didnt trust it but i found something else 10 hours ago

https://cointelegraph.com/news/were-watching-crypto-apple-exec-acknowledges-long-term-potential

>>15501762
>>15501747
>>15501625
>>15501607
>>15501593
Found the android users fucking lel

>>15501802
not browsing on an imac lmao do you even neetlife

>>15501802
found the conformist "free thinker"

>>15501563