/biz/ - Business & Finance

*Sergey Nazarov rolls on stage to thunderous applause*

>Thanks everyone, thank you all for being here tonight, what a show! Thanks for having me everyo- hey! You guys in the back - calm youselves! Don't make me come back there!

*Audience erupts into a cacaphony of laughs*

>Fundamentally, what I'd like to say is that Chainlink has purchased Microsoft, Apple, Walmart and Exxon Mobil, HSBC, JP Morgan, Goldman Sachs and now owns the rights to the Big Mac Sauce - the best fast food sauce there is.

*The room has gone dead silent. Sweat piles down the face of everyone in the room as they wait for the next part*

>Oh yeah, and FUCK NO LINKERS TOO

*The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the Web3 main stage. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Rory and Steve, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sergey stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sergey closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Rory, then at Steve, both lying lifeless on the floor. In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sergey cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.*