/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>14267119
I just opened the fridge. The smell of big macs slowly crawls up to my nostrils. I freeze up. Terrifying thoughts begin to emerge from my subconsciousness as the happy meal engulfs me. I cannot take it anymore. The flashbacks make me have a seizure. I fall towards the floor but remain unscrached as I hit a soft cheesy texture instead. Entire room is now filled with this moist deep fried culinary disaster. I begin to suffocate and in desperation utter my last words "1000 suicides EOY".

>>14267141
I would say, find pastas that are suitable to a threads topic. You'll get there

I have crohn's disease. The terrible fear of being in debt for life, just for a disease I was born with is weighing heavily on me. I invest in crypto now, just for the hope of mooning, in hopes that I'm not a drain on my family or my country.

Fucked around in school because I was going to join the military right out of high school. Then got diagnosed and couldn't join the military, so I was just stuck.

Working now, going to school in the fall. It all just seem so pointless. I am constantly trying to better myself - which is rewarding, yet, I feel so far away from the finish line.

I have a startup I am building and there are so many obstacles ranging from components and PCB design. It seems to keep piling up but I know that if I break these barriers than I will become a successful billionaire in the next 5 years. I realized that I am doing this for the money and for what it can do for me and friends and family but it's taking a toll upon my life as I am constantly stressed and it feels tiresome , but I keep striving towards the end result but it just feels so far away. I know I can do this but there is a thought In my mind that leaves doubt in me like , What do I do if I fail? I know it will be a learning lesson but I don't want to make mistakes which leads to failure so I keep pushing ahead full speed course towards achieving great heights. I just want to get rich and help others and I have no one to blame but myself for the course of adventure that I have journeyed through. I only want to see myself and others around me do well and it pains me that this is so far away. I'm running out of money to bootstrap my project , and I worry that I won't be able to make the first prototype without VC or angel investors jumping aboard. But I know eventually I will raise capital and build my business but for a higher post money valuation and raising 30M for my project at a 300M post money valuation and be able to scale and push out project like crazy. I keep thinking of the end result but at the cost of my physical and mental health. I have a surgery next week for the removal of a broken rib that's been stabbing my insides for a while now and I intend to fix it. Hope all goes well and thanks for reading my post.

>>14267188
I switched to my PC in order to write you a proper response. Anyone who reaches out deserves an answer.

The progress you make is weighted with the standards that you want to achieve. Hence people who go to the gym often quit because they won't get buff in a month.

I am very happy to hear you are going back to school, learning is one of the pillars of happiness. This is why: Whenever you put effort into a subject, you gain the ability to understand other people's effort. The importance of this is not to be understated.

As an example, I will give you an analogy:
If you were to walk through a park, and you saw a random flock of birds fly over. Would it mean anything? Maybe it'd be pretty, but you'd forget that particular instance in a year/month/week. as in your current words: meaningless

Now. rewind to a point in time a year prior to you taking that same walk in the park. In this year you study different types of bird, the physiology of said birds and their behavior. You put in time, effort and love. It becomes fun to understand it. A year passes and the time comes for the same walk in the park that a year ago was meaningless.

The same flock of birds fly over, but this time you realize how rare this specific type of bird is. You understand that in order to fly, it has evolved from dinosaurs and you start to appreciate it through your enlarged referential kader.

This holds true for anything and everything. Understanding and knowledge form waypoints in our life.

Another illustration would be listening to a pianist play with, and without knowing how to play yourself. The experience will be vastly different. Continue to develop anon. I believe in you

>>14267342
Thank you.

What's your sorrow's, anon?

>>14267119
a small dick

>>14267188
Checked
Anon have you heard of fecal transplants? Time to go down the rabbit hole.
I had one, not for crohn’s but the flora transplant is a lifesaver for many gut problems. Look it up, you are here because you have an aptitude for researching.
Fermented foods do not have all the flora you’re body needs. I had a bizarre problem, not the usual thing they give fecal transplants for. You can also do them yourself, either way you need a donor who has a healthy gut history and is tested.
I hope this information gives you a new avenue of treatments to explore.

>>14267419
Thank you for this, yes, I've researched fecal transplants - not extensively, mind you.

I will look more into this to see what I can do.

>>14267327
You are in a very good position, Anon. Your mentality is not far from being the right mentality. You have made a purpose for yourself and are striving to achieve it as is natural for any human. I would give you a quote of Marcus Aurelius on this topic, but there is a more important factor for you to realize.

I am not nearly in the same type of stress as you are in right now, and neither am I close to having the same type of responsibility. I do, however, enjoy being able to be in full understanding of how I feel at any time and can project that onto your situation in order for me to properly give you my answer. Anon, I have been in a group project as a hardware developer with 3 other software engineers. They haven't been doing their work correctly, and because I have the same "There is no failure" mentality that you proclaim to have I took it upon me to take the reigns and fix their parts. It was a sinking ship that I was desperately trying to save, and I felt like I was going to burn out, when during my morning exercise it came to me: The outcome will not influence my happiness.

You see anon, I truly believe happiness to be a constant. Whether you are rich or poor, the feeling of happiness is never different. You can scale happiness from unhappy to very happy, but that feeling is the same in a good or bad situation. How does this affect you? Well, you can then ask yourself: What am I striving towards? In your case I would say that you desperately don't want to fail. In order to deal with that you would have to realize that even if you fail, the only reason why you would actually be impacted is if you would die from it. Which ofcourse, you will not. So then transform it to something constructive:

If you fail, you gain the knowledge of why and you can try again. If you don't want to try again then you shouldn't. Whatever the outcome, be at peace with it.

>>14267394
Don't fall for women who care about dicksize, stop watching porn, stop comparing yourself, stop letting the outside influence you.

This confidence will make flocks of women want to suck your small dick anon, they don't really care about dicksize. They want real men, and real men know themselves good enough to realize that anyone who is vain enough to care about the size of his dick is too childish to matter.

Higher your EQ, be resilient and become a better man

>>14267379
I have been cursed to see the cyclical nature of my own ups and downs. I know that in certain periods I am bound to give in to my desires, for no man is perfect. It is my sorrow that I can constantly see the perfect image of what I want to be, but to fall continuously short of it. This motivates me to constantly improve myself.

I was a gamer, I was lazy and addicted to drugs. I partied a lot, up untill I look in the mirror and saw the tissue scaring of my belly expanding too fast. This was in may 2017. From this point I realized something had to change. I stopped doing drugs, started taking modafinil, started to exercise, started reading stoic philosophy. I sleep at 21:00 and wake up at 05:00 every morning. I try and eat healthy. In one year I learnt how to program in Java, and I am not telling you this to gloat. I am telling you this because I know that you can also achieve this. You are not powerless anon, you are a decent of one of the longest living lines of humans to this point, and you have acces to the writings of emperors, commanders and generals at your finger tips. Read, learn and appreciate that current times are divine in the ability to expand your mind. I am here for you if you have any questions

>>14267188
No one mentions pure hemp derived CBD oil for Crohn's? Look online, lots of garbage out there right now, but find something that has no fillers or sweeteners just oils and eat it. Non psychoactive.

https://www.renewcbdstore.com/shop/cbd-gold-10-gram-dosing-pen-hemp/

You're welcome. If you've never felt real relief before you might actually cry.

>>14267665
You are too kind. Thank you for joining this thread out of your desire to help someone.

>>14267119
Just give us the goddamn philosophy faggot!

We gotta sit here and read through your answers to other's questions and piece it together like you're some goddamn 4chan Eckhart Tolle?

Oh also, how do I start seeing my life as valuable? And don't give me that "gotta make something of youreslf" crap. I know enough people that are literally as happy as a child with +130 IQ by doing nothing but going to an easy job that is <40 hours a week and spend the rest of the time happily plazing Zelda en Pokemon. And I mean REALLY fucking happy an sociable.

>>14267675

https://remedishop.com/therapeutic-areas/how-to-use-cbd-for-crohns-disease/

It should manage your symptoms and pain with virtually no side effects, but depending on severity you are going to need anywhere from 1-5 drops a day for Crohn's. As you can imagine the cost is unfortunately kind of high right now but as time passes you will be set. I've already changed the lives of close friends and family with CBD oil balms for arthritis, its highly effective

>>14267712
Anon, I never came here to boast my philosophy. I'd love to tell you, if you are eager to learn.

Also, giving value to your life is done by making it valuable. Tell me, Anon. What do you really want to do. Hopes, dreams, a job or maybe a hobby. Tell me, and I will try to answer your question

>>14267798
Thank you, but I don't suffer from the same disease as anon. I'm just grateful that people help people

I'm as happy as can be expected under the circumstances and that's fine. I get to eat decent, healthy food when I'm hungry and I have a warm safe place to sleep. I have work to do that's often shitty but is ultimately meaningful, or at the least contributes somehow to improving the world. My body isn't as good as it could be but it's functional in the most important ways. I forget a lot but remember the most important things. The world around me may be troubled but I'm in a position to make okay choices.

>>14267119
i have complex PTSD from being emotionally neglected by my parents. panic attacks, depression, all kinds of psychosomatic health problems. Im a fucking mess for things that happened decades ago and were completely outside of my control. no matter how hard I work I can never find peace.

>>14267874
You are in an incredibly unfortunate circumstances, one that I admit find difficult to associate with. Nevertheless will I offer my insight on your situation. Seeing as your personality forms heavily during your critical period, I can only assume you must suffer greatly from this neglect. Try and minimize anxiety by meditation. Learn to find the triggers and actively avoid them. Try and get controle over your body, and find help for what is not in your controle

>>14267857
I'm happy to hear that anon :)

>>14267890
That's what we're all doing here, imo
>>14267874
That's a really tough situation to be in. I hope you keep trying and succeed but I'd understand if you didn't. There's usually something you can do to suffer less.

>>14267890
I already spent like 500+ hours meditating. tried ayahuasca, yoga, journalling, self help groups, read dozens of books on psychology. nothing really helps. even the psych books admit that this condition is pretty much for life and treatment is very hard and takes years for incremental improvements. I hate life, I hate God and on a bad day I just want to die. I used to be a happy child before my parents messed me up by being complete retards.

>>14267919
You write like a fellow Stoic, am I right?

>>14267899
Thanks. Good on you for being kind to people :)

>>14267933
Anon, if if you need to vent, please do. I will listen

>>14267938
I appreciate stoic philosophy a lot but wouldn't strongly identify as one. Bit more of a Buddhist but not hardcore about that either. I'm just lucky enough to have been taught how to learn well and live a good life.

>>14267967
I can appreciate that a lot. People like you are invaluable. Be an example anon. The world needs this mindset

>>14267119
> ask yourself whether you are happy or not and if that is not the goal?
are you saying being happy is supposed to be the goal in life? I disagree and would consider you highly bluepilled if so.


Let me tell you my sorrows though.
I founded a startup doing pentesting 16 years ago. It went well and I made loads of money and had a bunch of employees and around the same time I lost most friends due to some dumb drama coupled with moving to a new state. Instead of finding a new circle I reclused myself and spent 100% of my time working on my business at home. All employees were remote as well. About 5 years ago I exited the business and you could say I made it.
I then went into the world to find a loving GF and starting a family. It was surprisingly easy finding good candidates and actually getting into socializing again, picking up hobbies and so on.

Im not happy though. I would rather sit inside again and be poor working all night again and shitpost and watch the decline of the west. The normies one deals with all seem sub-human to me. I firmly believe they are not supposed to be like this. The globohomo probaganda has ruined almost everyone you can meet IRL. Every interaction with those people reminds you of the dark forces ruling this timeline and its disgusting.

Only someone who reclused himself or NEETed for multiple years without normie contact can truly see it, thats why we feel that connection with our /biz/ frens.

There is no escape and happiness is not an option. Ill just raise my kids as good as possible and hope for a somewhat peaceful few decades.

>>14267327
I read what you wrote. Hope your rib heals up well and I hope you find satisfaction in the work you're doing. It sounds like your idea is for a good product.
>>14267188
What are you going to school to study? I hope you find it interesting and even inspiring. Even though it may feel too late, if you come across a subject you find more worthwhile than what you started with, consider pursuing that.

>>14268038
Thank you for replying anon, I appreciate you taking the time to write your story.
I switched back to my PC, so my ID is different. Still OP though. Good job on figuring out that striving for happiness doesn't make happy. it's paradoxical like that. However I do believe that happiness comes naturally when on the right path.

I want to say to things to you, Anon. First of all: Stoics believe the world to be made out of your mind (the internal) and your surroundings (the external). We have controle over our mind but not our surroundings. Being affected by it is futile alas.

Second of all: I'm sorry to hear you are unhappy. Is there anything internal that your struggling with?

Your desire is working is natural. Find something you're passionate about and obliterate it anon. I absolutely 100% believe in you

>>14267119
I just wanted to thank everyone who came into this thread, wanting to help and spread a positive word. I also hope that everyone in this thread will find their peace.

Thank you.
T. Zeno

I don't know what I want. I see a lot of your answers include something along the lines "find whatever makes you happy", but what if that is the root problem. How to approach this, especialy if you are a person who, let's say, has tried a lot of things?

>>14268485
Not OP. Even if you've tried a lot of things, there are a lot more things out there. Think about what those things you've done might have in common, and what you could try that's really different. It might not be possible to find something really great. Think about what's at least pretty good, in the long run, and see if you can do a bit more stuff like that.

>>14267119
Maybe this may help some anons.
>>>/fit/51265511

>>14267119
I don't enjoy my job and I am underpaid.
I'm getting older and while I'm not totally helpless (Longerm gf, home owner, employed) I do feel like I'm under pressure to provide the money for our future (Kids etc).

>>14268165
good thread OP

PRECIATE YALL