/biz/ - Business & Finance

...i-i-i-I

i browse /biz/ to shitpost about finance

im gay ;-)

I'm a religious Jew. I hope you're ready for the snippity snap! :DDDDD

>>139684
I work too hard
I often try to help others before working on my own tasks
I am too friendly and sometimes others use that to their advantage

I like to fuck my hot bosses.

Now I have a question for you. Interested in my 10 inch cock?

-Chad

my squats

>I-I-I am extremely lazy and hate s-s-stupid requests from managers.

>D-d-did I g-get the job? You like h-honesty, don't you?

talking about my weaknesses

'Im too honest.'


"No, honesty isn't a weakness"

'I don't give a fuck what you think'

My biggest weakness is that my penis is only 8 inches long.

Im a perfectionist and sometimes it slows me down

I make coworkers jealous at how well I do my job

>>139684
Engrey but worry trouble niet. Prefect TOEFL score has gotan.

>>139709
winner

Im sometimes TOO good at my job, leading to animosity from co-workers who become envious of my ability.

>>139737
What if for the last one you said, "I don't stand up for myself enough" or something along those lines?

>>139821
Yeah, that one is an actual weakness of mine. I sometimes drop what I'm working on to help others. I need to grow some balls.

>>139737
>I work too hard
>I often try to help others before working on my own tasks
>I am too friendly and sometimes others use that to their advantage

No promotion, in fact, I'll just call security to escort you out, we'll leave your things in the alley.

none of you would get hired by even mcdonalds with the answers in this thread

Has anyone ever been asked this question in an interview? I've gone through about 50 interviews in my life and have never been asked for my strengths and weaknesses.

All interviews these days are situational and behavioral question based. They don't have time to ask vague questions like this.

>>139684
>I have been told that I lack empathy.

I am perfect in every way and sometimes its hard to relate to minorities

>>139917

I got asked if i have ever had to solve a problem and just said "no."

that was pretty autistic of me tbh.

I get anxiety when I'm around other people and I'm depressed and sleepy all the time.

>>139917

Every interview I have done has been shitty open ended questions like this. Probably 8 in the past two years.

>>140039
What sort of positions were the interviews for?

>>140050

Summer internships (college fag).

I have noticed that it's only been an HR person conducting the interview a couple times. It's usually actual higher-ups. They probably haven't been schooled on the latest techniques like HR people.

i'm bad about asking for raises

>>140065
Ah, I usually get panel interviews where 1 person is HRfag and the other is a manager or some higher up.

>>139792
that's really fucking good

>>139684
Over confident, work too hard, perfectionist, etc

>implying anyone in their right mind would ever admit to a weakness that wasn't a strength in disguise.

People think I'll shoot up a school.

I allow people to boss me around

"I got all my advice from a business oriented board on a Japanese imageboard called 4chan."

>>140407
qtf, its a shit question that HR knows will get these responses, especially since HR teaches you to answer this in such a way.

If HR is smart, they'll rate you according to how convincing you can bullshit

>my biggest weakness...admittedly, its with being around people for long-ish periods of time. I can kind of be an introvert at times
>into the trash it goes

>>140444
>HR
>2014
No, they'll rate you according to how privileged you are. If you are a straight, white male, you better be betavagana to the max and wish only that the position you're being interviewed for is given to some oppressed, non-oriental asylum seeker.

Modern HR know a few things.
They know the job market for under 25s is intense
They know that at least 1/3rd of people this age have a degree
They know that virtually everyone can score a GPA over 2
They know that jobs are a rare commodity and that workers are a dime a dozen
They know they can hire whoever the fuck they want, provided they never give a reason for rejection

Lastly, almost all HR people have done sociology courses. The last one to reject me was proud (on her linked in) about doing a "diversity" course back at uni. This is the modern job market, enjoy your stay, aren't you shitty you were born with a penis with white skin?

I am a very direct person. Sometimes my bluntness is mistaken for rudeness.

This "weakness" is only appropriate if your duty is to be a subject matter expert.

>>140403
>>140407
>>139792
>>139737
if you actually give these "but its actually a strength in disguise ;)" answers they will subconsciously roll their eyes and count it against you because they hear that bullshit so often. As dumb as HR people generally are, you have to give them a little more credit than that.

>>140525
lolno

Why the fuck would anyone admit to weakness? If we knew our weaknesses, a strong man would fight to overcome them. That's the whole point of a weakness, we can't.

>>140525
>As dumb as HR people generally are, you have to give them a little more credit than that.
wrong, they are all much dumber than you think

>>139684
>I don't like retards asking me stupid questions.

>>140550
This.

They all have shoddy, half-assed business degrees and almost all of them minor in some cultural based basket weaving course.

>>140525
It's a stupid stock question that'll get a stupid stock answer.

>>139728
oh, I'm ready

>>139684

> 'Possibly that I work TOO hard.'

Discard all other answers.

I can get pretty mad if I find out someone is being dishonest or stealing.

>>140525
And if you actually tell them one of your real weaknesses they will count it against you and forget your interview. In my experience at least.

>>140566

I agree, a lot of idiots work in HR. but what the fuck does this say about the companies? If they think hiring people is so unimportant that the bosses can't be bothered to have a say in it, the company must be pretty shitty. Any decent businessman knows how important it is to have good employees. It's one of the most most important things you do, and you are going to let some sub 100 IQ chick who minored in woman's studies do it!?! Wtf is up with at.

>>140590

Same here. Never tell them the truth. Job interviews are a place for lying.

strength disguised as weakness is probably the worst thing you can say without getting thrown out.

The best thing to do is to name an actual shortcoming that can be improved. For example you could say that your time management might not be the best but it's something you're actively working on and it's getting better. Interviewers generally respect honesty and as long as you're aware of it and working on it they probably won't see it as detrimental.

Time management might actually be a bad example to say but you know what I mean.

I just plain-old hate work. Can't wait until I retire.

>>140645
lol'd

I usually say my weakness is team work/group work. I am not terrible at it, I just feel I could be better. They usually eat that shit up.

>>140946
Most places would throw your resume right in the trash. They want people that can work togeather/on a team.

>>140539
>>140590
The key is to admit something that is a legitimate weakness but will be irrelevant for the job you're applying for.

If you're applying for some office job that mostly consists of sitting at your desk all day, 9-5:

"I'm a poor public speaker, I tend to get nervous in front of big groups of people"

If you're applying for a job in sales or customer service:

"I tend to get bored really easily if I'm assigned a task that requires me to be by myself for a long period of time"

Basically something that, for a certain job, would be a serious weakness, but for the specific one you're going for it won't matter. It helps if you're honest and the weakness you say is actually a legitimate problem of yours.

>>140984
I like you.

>>140984
Sshh. Let them be idiots and use their weakness-that's-a-strength answer. It's lols and it makes it easier for us to get jobs.

Ha trick question! everyone knows you're supposed to say "I have no weakness!"

>>139684

Kryptonite.

Hired, 300k starting any job.

so i whip out my schlong and just start jerking off but calmly answering the final few interview questions

i keep eye contact even while im cumming

i dont know why i posted this , im sorry

>>139684
I make other people look terrible in comparison to how flawless I am

>>140525
The whole interview process with questions like "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" is bullshit. They are just looking for the person who is most adept at bullshit responses. I've hired a few people and I didn't even bother with questions like that. Once I've narrowed down the candidates. I call them in and have a brief chat to see how they spoke and handled themselves and just had general questions about their life and a few pertaining directly to the business and their availability. After that it's reference check and hire. Never once hired anyone who didn't perform well. You can tell as much from five minutes of casual discussion as you can from a 20 minute interview with a series of questions designed to look for the "best answer".

So, anon, you must of forgot about writing down your work experience.. r-right, anon?

>>139684
I'm a friendless loser.

>>139684
>Biggest weakness? Well right now, I guess my biggest weakness is that I can't think of an answer to that question. I don't read horoscopes. I don't think a lot about "who I am." I think about what I should do.
>Here's how I deal with weaknesses: I notice them, and then I try to solve them. I don't let them sit there and waste everybody's time. So here's the truth: if I have any weakness bigger than the one I just gave, I don't want to talk about it. It's not going to be an issue on the job, and you won't hear about it. And that's good, because it's my private business.

jews

I can tell you, working at a Fortune 100-listed company and having been through MANY a promotion interview, the part of the interview that goes sour is when they try to test whether or not you can admit you are capable of screwing up and OWNING it when it happens and you try to slip one of those always-makes-me-look-good answers in there.

Besides, you faggots aren't anywhere high enough to be making real money if they're still asking you this question. If your interview isn't BAR format (background, action, result), it's not a real job.

>>141733

lol, i've seen bar used for entry-level service positions.

get over yourself, kid.

>>141748

Looks like I struck a nerve.

I'll just get over being 25 and making roughly $60k a year, then. Not to mention the "incentive bonus" I get for meeting/exceeding corporate HQ's goals.

>>141767

i'm glad moot created a containment board for retards like you.

>>139728
You beat me.

>>141767
>im high up in my company
> I make 60k/yr
adorable

hey guys how did i do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULqAIbjCsXE

>>141767
mfw I am 21 and currently earning that, having been in my current company for the past three years and expect a massive increase in the next two years through study. I get to go overseas and get the company car, pick where I work, the lot.
Way to be a newfag, clearly you should know by now there is always somebody better than you on 4chan. Now stop the pissing contest before you get a UTI.

I have a pretty poor bench-deadlift relation

I can barely bench my bodyweight, yet I can deadlift three times that weight

>>141869
I reach my squat goals, but don't reach my bench goals...

>>139684
i got this question in a more relevant form:
>if i asked your boss what's your weakness, what would he say?

>>139684
>honestly
I usually don't know when to shut up

>interview
My handwriting is atrocious

>>139917
Couple of times.

It's a fucker of a question before you learn how to answer it

>>140946
>not good in teams

ohboy.jpg.

Teamworrk and Leadership are the two buzzwords that HR execs fap to after a hard day's work. Never say you're bad at them or they'll take it as an excuse to make their own job easier by whittling down the applicants by 1

>>141836
That was one of the most painful things I have ever watched.

the correct way to answer this question is to admit a minor weakness that doesn't affect the job and explain how you are working to correct it

>im a perfectionist
top kek

My biggest weakness would be my lack of experience in this field

>>139684
>what's your biggest weakness
I don't have a weakness, I'M FUCKING INVINCIBLE

>>139737
>>139792
>>139814
>>139799
>>140585

>>142428
I have narcolepsy and legally fall on the autism spectrum.

>not taking the question seriously
They don't ask you this to hear what bs you can spout. Give them an example of something you've dealt with in your life and made steps to improve upon. For example, maybe you get too involved in your work and sometimes aren't fully aware of what else is going on. Tell them a quick story about how you worked as a cook through high school and were always plating your dishes before or after everyone else. Then explain how you gradually learned to step back and figure out how long it was taking everyone else to do certain tasks, when it was worth going over to help and when it was better to ask for someone else's. Make it clear that you're self-aware enough to recognize your faults and motivated enough to improve upon them.

"I tend to be annoying after a period of time, even though I think I am hilarious. Also I have hard time to know when to shut up. This is what my colleagues told me when I asked them the same question as you"

>tfw telling the truth

my biggest weakness? well sometimes i get the urge to masturbate in public

i wish i was joking

>tell me a little about yourself

>>143922
>implying that's not a strength

>>140525
I used the "I'm a perfectionist and sometimes it slows me down" and the HR manager interviewing me nodded his head and was like

>"Wow, you know, I completely understand. I'm the same way."

>mfw

>>141836
king of /biz/

Well I'm alright with water and grass but I'm really no good against fire and electricity.

Give it 5/10 more years and your interviewer will get that.

>>141767
>$60k a year

What in god's green earth makes you think that is a lot of money?

>>141864
>been working for company since 18
What do you do?

>>141767
>yfw you can live in my country with that money and be considered as a extremely successful young person.
Such is life in Czech Republic.

>>144212

That's more money than the majority of americans make.

And if you're single with no kids then thats way more money than you'll ever need.

>>144047
>"Wow, you know, I completely understand. I'm the same way."
made me laugh

>not my biggest weakness is chocolate

>>139684
> say "I'm hispanic, it's held me back"
> get job

My biggest weakness is male pattern baldness. I have to constantly apply a lot of hair spray to keep my combover in place and am on several hormonal drugs to prevent further recession in my temple areas.

>>144291
It's a respectable living, you could live a fairly happy life on that kind of money. But the guy was talking shit like he's some big earner, I would an hero if the most I ever made in my life was 60k.

>>140645
Best thing is not to play in their bullshit.

"I'm here to sell myself, so it's not in my interest to try to downplay my value".

That's it. If they want that shit, they can look for another retard with "WELL DURR I WORK TOO HARD AND MY BUTT SMELLS!"

>>144400
60k a year is what a president in Latvia makes.

How the hell do you guys manage to make more?

>>144428
Why by not being the president of Latvia of course. (I know little about economics, I have no idea how my country makes so much more than yours)

My last job was military.

How should I answer the questions like "When was a time when a group depended on you?" when my answer would be like "Well we were pinned down and I had to call in artillery on the enemy position while under fire"

Will that freak out the employer? Seems weird to think about.

I ask because I'm going to have an interview soon now that I'm looking for a regular job again.

>>144132
>I'm alright with water and grass but I'm really no good against fire and electricity.
Dude what, there is no type that does that.

>>139684

I'm addicted to sex.

How damning would it be to admit clinical depression in a job interview?

>>139684

My lack of patience for stupid ass questions.

>>144508
Do not do that.

>>144508
>How damning would it be to admit clinical depression in a job interview?
Fairly damning I would guess, depending on the job and personality of the guy hiring you.

>>144508
Why would you admit it?

>>144508
You aren't obligated to reveal your medical records so don't.

>>144508
Depends. If you were a hot girl I would hire you because depressed girls can be manipulated into sex pretty easy.

If you were a guy, INTO THE TRASH IT GOES

I've long withheld this answer, due to the off-chance of one of you little shits interviewing for the same position as I but answer thusly, "I would have to say that my biggest weakness is that I don't have as much real world experience in (field) as I'd like, but I believe this could change that."

Basically, the formula is whatever the job trains you in or helps you improve upon is what you're looking to strengthen.

>>144508
Pretty damning.

>accountant
>backroom
>computers
>no people
>sorry, but we're looking for an outgoing people person who's passionate about customer service
>every job in U.S.

Kryptonite.

>>144508
Do you want the job?

If yes, don't say anything like that.

There is a correct answer for this.

You're supposed to tell them a weakness AND how you overcame it.

Social Anxiety Disorder

>>140984
Now that...is a very good idea.

If you start talking to me while I'm in the middle of a lot of work, I'll start starting really, really fast.

>>139917
I just got promoted today and I was asked that question.

Told him that my biggest weakness was I don't talk enough and it's hard for me to build a repertoire with other employees.

>>141090
upboated for /biz/ mene :^)

>I have an addictive personality
>I'm a perfectionist
>I shitpost on /biz/
>I feel as though I have never had to endure true adversity
>I don't make mistakes often, so I don't have much practice fixing them
>I have a hard time saying no to people
>I'm friends with the monsters that are under my bed
>get along with the voices inside of my head

I'm arrogant and I can be a poor communicator.

So when someone disagrees with my opinion, I assume they just misunderstood what I said because I refuse to admit I'm wrong.

I track down and murder people who ask me stupid gotcha questions.

pugs

I hate loosing

Yahtzee.

>>144481
Go for contractor position man. Did you not go to ACAP?

I am excessively honest and autistic

>>141836
k i l l m e

I assume every young woman I interact with for over a minute is a potential romantic partner, and then spend hours of my life thinking about her in a romantic sense. I'm lonely.

i said phone conversation in a phone interview for a role that required reasonably good phone conversation skills and got the job, deal with it

>>139684

YOU.

>i'm too perfectionist, i work too hard yadda yadda

this is shit. be honest about your weaknesses and also tell them how you intend to work on it.

"i have problems working autonomously, but i am sure this will change once i get more experienced and confident"

>>139684
>>140525
>>140984
I just tell them I'm lactose intolerant. It's true and it gets them laughing and sets a very relaxed vibe.

then if they're like "but seriously" I would either answer "seriously." if it's a job I could do with or without. but if it's a job I really want then I'd say something along the lines of "I have difficulty acting on a decision if I'm not confident in the outcome" and/or "I have an affinity for productivity tools/devices that I end up almost never needing. I'll buy something from office max or an app that I think will make me more productive even though I don't actually need it. And trust me, I almost never actually need it."

>>146894
tell more, how desperate was the company?

>>139684
I'm a recovering...CHOCAHOLIC!!!1

...

No seriously, do you have any chocahol, I'm getting the tremors real bad.

bullets and fire

Answering interview questions.

I'm too good looking

Most of the answers on this board are straight retarded. Interviewers typically ask this as a trick question to see how you respond when put on the spot. If they asked you why shouldn't they hire you, you don't actually give them a reason you dumb fucks.

This is what I say:
Greatest weakness? What's that supposed to mean. I'm sorry, but that's sort of a rude question; you're implying that I am weak.

Works everytime.

>>148688
You sound like a stuck up cunt.

What if I say I have moderate social anxiety?

>>148688

*dinged*

I have a small penis

>>148688
>Greatest weakness? What's that supposed to mean. I'm sorry, but that's sort of a rude question; you're implying that I am weak.

I see what you did there.

>>144597
This. they want someone who isn't likely to shoot up their workmates, and apparently quiet and depressed people seem to fit the stereotype more

>>148688
I work in HR and if someone said that to me I would look them dead in the eye and tell them they don't even lift.

It's pretty sick how shitty you're allowed to treat potential employees if you're subtle about it

will i get thrown in the trash if i say i'm a procrastinator?

not just casual procrastination, serious clinical procrastination

>>142471
>Tell them a quick story about how you worked as a cook through high school and were always plating your dishes before or after everyone else. Then explain how you gradually learned to step back and figure out how long it was taking everyone else to do certain tasks, when it was worth going over to help and when it was better to ask for someone else's.
But that immediately sounds like bullshit. No one in a kitchen is going to stand around with their thumbs up their asses watching and waiting while you have an epiphany about productivity. The work is also p segregated. Spouting something like this would scream compulsive liar.

Not doing as good as I think I should.
It's really one of those things my dad told me not to worry about when I was a kid. But, It was still there you know. I would just work at something hard and for long hours till I was sure I got it right, that all the t's crossed and i's dotted.
Well, yeah.
Anyway, I can see this bit of candor has probably lost me the job so. I'll just shut up now.

>>144481
>Will that freak out the employer?
Yeah. There's often quite a big stigma against hiring ex-military because of images of PTSD crazed former officers shooting up the office. First steps are to make sure you avoid using military terms, then to change any metaphorical language.
>"Well we were pinned down and I had to call in artillery on the enemy position while under fire"
It sounds kinda violent, and language like "pinned down" maybe even sounds a little rapey. Maybe go with penned in, tight spot, rock and a hard place or some other nice neutral term that doesn't call to mind one person pinning down another person. Unless the interviewer happens to be from a military background, terms like "artillery" and "enemy position" may not even mean a massive amount beyond they shot you and you called to shoot them back more.

What you're trying to show here is how you supported the people around you. This is obviously something that happens a lot in the military, so say that. Soldiers must rely on the support of each other. It's nice and general, and allows you to segue into a specific situation, and gives context to the anecdote. You can still talk about artillery fire and all that, but at least give a little explanatory sentence beforehand like you called for back up or something, and explain why artillery fire was important for supporting your buddies beyond "it kills the bad people".

>>149051
Maybe not immediately, but I'm sure they'd get round to it.

>>149130
kek

>>146888
dem feels

>>144428
I made 68k out of college and this has increased dramatically since then. I have a law degree (into the trash; DO NOT DO LAW) but I also happen to simply be smarter than other people to the point where others notice it.

In regards to a "what is your greatest weakness" question, I have never got one but if I did receive such a question I would be honest.

For myself I would say that I am not very good at math however that I have improved myself in this regard and that in any case I have been able to cope in previous math-intensive roles by relying on my strong ability in programs such as excel/vba programming.

Those of you who are saying "don't tell them a weakness!" I am sorry but anyone can see through that. We are all human and we all have weaknesses - Indeed, acknowledgement of a weakness is how we identify areas to grow and improve.

I would never hire someone who said he had no weaknesses because what can I teach such a person? They think they have nothing to learn, nothing to improve... useless.

I have a superiority complex which leads me to finishing not just my job quicker than any competition but aldo makes me take upon lesser peoples tasks and finish them correctly too. My old bosses would gdt mad because Ive now realised that everyone needs to work in a set system or everything falls apart. So I just do my work the best and fastest but it really gets me all rustled when I have to watch incompetent people work. Ive been improving in my latter years and now try to direct my anger into teaching others how to accomplish simple tasks effeciently instead of taking over for them.

none

>>151605
Me weakness is that everyone else around me is weak.

"I'm not very good at keeping this pen in my posession because everyone wants to buy it from me."

>>151660
>> sold! Ill take that pen from you for 500 doge!

A dog bit me when I was five years old, and I'm afraid of them.

I am not good at ___. But I am doing ____ currently to improve at ____.

> Never say "My greatest weakness is...."
> Always tell them you are working on improving

I tend to get tunnel vision when it comes to tasks sometimes, anyway I could spin that into a positive? Only seems to happen when I work alone if it matters.

>>151887

you don't want your weakness to be a positive

"I tend to focus too much on certain tasks and lose focus on everything else going on. It was difficult at first, but I've been getting better at balancing everything out just by improving my organization and keeping better track of what needs to get done each day."

>>139684
i black yo

>>147005
Pretty confident answers. For once I wish I actually was lactose intolerant so I could use that.

>>149492
whats wrong with law degree w/o it you may not make 68k

I tend to get bogged down in details, but I'm making a real effort towards that.

Also, I'm a terrible klepto. I just love other people's stuff. Can't keep my hands off of it.

>>140618
BUT WHAT IF THEY FIND OUT

>>144047
genius!

>>141718
The best so far

I am young and inexperienced.

>>139684
I always end up fucking my interviewers mother.

I don't really recall how it happens, but I'll be damned if ill step in the way of mother fucking.

>>139684
My bench press. I can squat, curl, OHP, and deadlift with continual progression... but my bench is stuck under 1 plate.

>>139765
It is if your client asks you a question and money is on the line.

>>140025
Holy shit when did I post this?
>Xanax and 4 cups of coffee master race reporting in

You have no idea how much I want to kill myself. I hate my life.

>>153689
Would this work?

I have an interview for an accounting position tomorrow (my first ever), and I'm getting kind of nervous about my answers.

"My biggest weakness is that I am gay."

Good luck avoiding a lawsuit if you don't hire me.

>>153857
my god

its brilliant

Probably my chest. Can only bench 100% of my weight but I can squat 200%

:(

My effort varies day by day. I can be like one of the greatest employees you've ever had for about 3 or 4 months straight, I mean relentlessly an effortlessly at 100%. Then drop back to about 80% one day out of nowhere, then slide back to about 60% effort over the course of a month. And then suddenly one day get disgusted by my laziness, and shoot back to 100% for a few more months.

That I would like money for nothing and masturbate all day in my house not talking to anybody.

I'm not as fast of a programmer as everyone else.

The right answer is something small, not the cliche shit about how you are TOO PERFECT OMG.

Messy handwriting is my go to.

A glass of scotch and a nice pair of legs.

>>146706
You mean rapport big boy. I think your biggest weakness is not being able to use the english language properly

>>144481
It's nice to finally meet a former soldier that doesn't look for the soonest opportunity in any occasion to bring up his military service.

>"This food tastes bad."
>"Yeah wow I know what you mean man WHEN I WAS DEPLOYED I also tasted bad food."

>"I have a tendency towards serial murder, but I've been straight since I finished my 8 month stint in Mexican prison for 15 murder charges."

>>141718

>not thinking about who you are

temet nosce motherfucker

>>154163
Except that literally both of you are on this board right now, bringing up your military service. gg.

>>154329
I wasn't in the military.

>>139684
>not choosing a food weakness
I absolutely adore quality cheesecake.

Remember HR is a womyn.

I do about 15 minutes of actual work per day. The majority of the day I just sit and stare at my desk so that it looks like I'm working.

>>155865
" I'm normally a very focused person, but god dammit it puppies are my weak spot. They're just so happy and full of life and they make those little barking noises. I just have this instinct to play with them and let them lick my face. I'll always keep some treats at my desk just in case a dog comes into work. It's good though, cause I have a little guy at home who lets me relax really fast after a long day at work."

Fucking extrovert biases.

Have a different skin color? Move on up to the front of the line!

Have a different personality? Move on out to the unemployment line!

Extroverts are lazy fucking circlejerking shits.

I have a huge dick. Makes sex kind of uncomfortable for some women.

>>140025
Are you me?

I'm really really really really really really lazy.

>>144597
>Job is to sit in a room and not talk to anyone and write code
>Job description: we want outgoing people only! no heads down coders! xDDDD

>bullets

>>158359
most coding jobs have you work as part of a team though

>>158580

You're hired.

>slowclap.jpg

>>158942
>as part of a team
No you don't, that "teamwork" is complete and utter bullshit.
You just go to a meeting every once in a while, get new tasks and do them ON YOUR OWN.

>>152811

...you don't have to be lactose intolerant to say that

>>160030
if you look at it as being assinged new tasks and than just doing those tasks:
you're not a real team player.
Meetings are there so people can think about what should be done.
good job on not contributing to that.

>>160046
You are making those statements while lacking one vital part of information.

>>141767
im 22 and make that without college
noob

>>151887
>>152143
This is exactly what I use. The key is to be honest about a weakness but explain how you've changed your behaviour such that it is no longer a problem. Don't try and spin it into a positive or choose something wanky like being a perfectionist.

It's a bullshit question. Give a bullshit answer.

Last summer I applied to work at my local water park as a lifeguard and I had worked there the summer before. In my interview I was asked "What was your biggest concern/least favorite part of working here last summer?"

My response, without skipping a beat: "Hmmm.... I'd say I had a pretty big problem with the employee discounts on the cheeseburgers at the Snack Shack. As I'm sure you're well aware, the burgers here are better than anywhere else and I can't go a day without eating one and I just feel like 25% off isn't enough. We should get at least 35% off in my opinion."

When I said that my manager who was interviewing me she just laughed and laughed. In my interview the summer before my shitty open ended vague question was "What would you do if you went down on a rescue and your trunks fell down while you were running to the victim?"

Again, without skipping a beat I said "Oh, that wouldn't be a problem for me because I always where two pairs of trunks just in case that happens, so if one pairs starts to fall off I can just keep going."

They said: "Well you sound very prepared and like just the kind of employee we need. Welcome to the team. Let's get the paperwork started."

Now, keep in mind this was at a water park and I was 18 at the time so the circumstances are different, but you need to know ahead of time that you'll get shitty open ended bullshit questions and you need to have responses ready to go. If they ask you what your biggest weakness is then you say something along the lines of "My coworkers hate me because I'm so much more successful than them."

>>146888
fuck

i do this too and i've never even realized it until now

>What's your biggest weakness?
>Honesty.
>I don't see that as much of a weakness.
>I don't give a FUCK what you think!

>but what's your biggest weakness?

Those beautiful eyes of yours...

I'm a kissless virgin.

>>140525

Bullshit, faggot. They're fucking retards. That's why you tell them what they want to hear.

>>162334

nigga have you ever even talked to an HR person? they're stupid yes, but even they know that's the oldest trick in the book and a huge minus

>>162291
How would an employer react to this? Do you think if you actually gave that response you would ever get the job?

>cats
>I just love them

I have no strengths

>>139684
i'll die if i get shot.

How do you think talking about my handwriting would work? If I say something like, "Well, my handwriting is atrocious!" comedically at first, and then talk about a situation in which it had affected me negatively, and then spin it in a way that makes it sort of endearing, do you think they would at least remember me?

The only other thing I can think of is something about not dealing with disapproval well.

>>162382

i could see this working as long as there is an easy, not-too-serious atmosphere during the interview and you don't go full autist

>>139684
Talking to people

My dick is so big I have to buy speciality pants to fit it. Life sure is tough...

>>162183
right in the feels!!

>>139684
>>141836
Thats kinda a rude question though because you are implying that I am weak.

>>141836
Couldn't get through it. Actually stopped when he said he mostly plays video games and watches TV in his free time.

>>141836
>is that weighted or unweighted?
>I dunno

>what do you like to do in your free time?
>play video games, well, that's what I've been doing all summer

>What are you trying to improve
>Well, not really anything, that's kind of like, a rude question cuz ur like implying that I'm weak

This guy giving the interview cracks me up.
>keeps sighing
>laughing every single time
>just doesn't give a fuck

I'm honest. And honestly, every company that has asked me that question and later offered has been declined.

I work for companies who are serious about hiring me.

"I like to suck cocks"

>>162609
>"In this company, that's a strength."

>>162609
>"lock the door"

>>139684
Sometimes I put my work at the first place and so I forget about my friends and family.

I'M HORRIFIED OF NEEDLES OH GOD

IS THAT A NEEDLE IN MY RESUME?

BYE

>>139684
> 5 years olds.

>>139684

100 duck sized horses

>>139684
I can't stand to just do things one specific way, even if it works perfectly well. I want to try multiple ways until I'm personally sure that the method being used is the best.

>>144047
I've used this as well, but that's because I'm actually somewhat neurotic about my performance.

>>144563
How hard would it be to manipulate a guy to have sex with you?

>>161586
Hey OP let me finish your bullshit story for you.

>THEN I MET THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS
>AND WON THE SCHOLARSHIP TO STUDY
>GOT INTERNSHIPS ALL THROUGH UNIVERSITY
>GOT A GREAT JOB BY GOING DOWN TO THE OFFICE AND GIVING A GOOD HANDSHAKE
>THEN BOUGHT A HOUSE WITH MY FIRST SIX MONTHS SAVINGS AS A DEPOSIT
>THEN GOT MARRIED AND HAD THREE WONDERFUL CHILDREN
>KIDS THESE DAYS HAVE IT TOO EASY

You boomer fuck.

>>139684

Very stubborn I have to finish something I've started no matter how long it takes.

>>153857
Would this really work? With all the tumblrcore sjw's I don't think it would be hard to shame an interviewer on hiring you if you came up with a decent bs story.

>>167151
>Would this really work?
No, because the SJWs would give you shit for calling it a weakness.

>>139684
I've anger management issues. It takes two days to cool down after a very rare outburst. Other than that, I'm fine. Thanks for asking, you fugly bitch.

>>140441
She holds the glass wrong. I'd do her anyway.

ive never had such an interview, i got all my jobs through another person (my sister, my ex-landlord) except for one summer job i did for 4 months

i just gave them a call and asked if they are still searching for a helping hand and they said yes, i should come over and bring my id

they told me what will be waiting for me and when i have to start, that was all

they were nice people

>>139792
>>140407
>>139737
>mfw these things actually apply to me

>>140984

>>141002
Not the whole world read here. For the few bros on this board we can and should be honest.

I am addicted to porn.

I can't get mad at things or people, I love life too much

I hate working.

>>139684
"Women in suits"

Some people say I suck dick TOO well.

>>151660
TOP KEK

my biggest weakness is that I am almost too awesome and that intimidates weaker people.

y-you too