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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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13838928 No.13838928 [Reply] [Original]

>January 1st, 2021
>I wake up around noon and check coinmarketcap
>$1050
>I spent New Years Eve alone as usual
>I think about all the memes, all the threads spammed on the Chainlink board of 4channel last night
>All the fud about dropping back to $800
>We finally broke $1,000
>I walk outside and get an Uber to the airport
>I only have the 300 Link I managed to buy early 2020, but I started making enough off staking to quit my job
>I fly to the Cryonics center I've been in touch with
>In the waiting room I browse /link/ (a board made when some anon bought 4channel with his Link gains last August)
>half the threads are anons showing off their yachts, huge orgies, paying homeless people to let them beat the shit out of them, you get the idea
>I wish I'd had gotten in earlier - a few anons were living like literal kings now, complete with their own fledgling countries
>a couple more livestreams pop up - more nolinker suicides
>the jannies quickly take them down
>the doc takes my phone and we make small talk until I slip into the abyss
>Im declared dead
>This sets off my contracts interlinked within contracts interlinked within contracts interlinked within oracles
>The first contract releases the payment to the Cryonics organization
>Immediately after my Link portfolio is reorganized by a series of contracts written to stake my Link automatically for safe profits
>years pass and an army of profit taking contracts are at work, diversifying my portfolio into various assets for another level of security
>100 years pass and the stop loss contracts still haven't kicked in
>As if no time had passed at all I'm awake, for a second I think I'm still waiting to be put into Cryogenic sleep

1/2

>> No.13838935

>>13838928
>A new doctor is explaining everything to me
>He hands me the shoebox I put some possessions in - a photo of my family, a photo of my cat, my first Ledger Nano
>I can tell this body isn't organic, but it looks completely natural
>The doctor shows me my portfolio
>Adjusted for inflation, I'm the equivalent of a 2021 billionaire
>I pay for an ego backup
>A sensor imbedded in my body serves as an oracle, if I die my consciousness will immediately be restored in a new body
>I spend some decades roaming Earth, talking to the other old Linkers
>Learn that ayys made first contact soon after our societal and technological development was spurred on by smart contracts
>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
>Send 1 Link to the janitors wallet as he scrubs Sergey's giant stone feet
>He gets a notification and realizes he's suddenly a rich man
>Exclaims he can finally buy his freedom, breaks down crying tears of happiness
>Figure I've had enough of Earth, pay a ship building company to make me a vessel resembling the one I once flew in EVE Online
>Explore the stars and meet all sorts of interesting people and space niggers using worm holes rendered traversable by some alien technology
>Enter the infinite
What are you gonna do when you make it, anon?

>> No.13838940

Fag

>> No.13838949
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13838949

>>13838928
>>13838935

>> No.13838995

>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
based, Israel has no right to exist.

>> No.13839014

What the fuck are you smoking, 300 LINK is nowhere near close to making it if you aren't a shitskin

>> No.13839122

>>13838935
>>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
Based. Israel has no right to exist

>> No.13839170

>>13838995
>Pay homage to the statue of Sergey Nazarov, standing in the center of what was once Israel
Based, Israel has no right to exist.

>> No.13839316

>>13838995
>>13839122
So nice he said it twice

>> No.13839321

>>13838928
Eric Holder lied and Paul Walker died.

>> No.13839408

>>13839316
>FLAMYMATEY
lul

>> No.13839662

>>13838928
>>13838935
>garbage piles

>> No.13840289

So this is was peak delusion looks like