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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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Welcome to the job interview, anon! Anonymous Mon May 6 14:45:24 2019 No.13539749 [Reply] [Original]

>Our company likes to keep things a bit more informal, so the five of us just like to talk to you like it’s a conversation. No big scary desks for us to sit behind haha...
>We checked out the Github page you had on your resume, you made some sort of off brand version of PayPal using “REQ”? Seemed kind of...creepy...
>Anyway, tell us about that 5 year employment gap, what were you doing during that time?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 14:46:30 2019 No.13539759 >>13539749 2, 4, 1, 5, 3

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 14:47:32 2019 No.13539765 >>13539759 Make it 5, 1, 3 at the end instead. Had to zoom.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 14:48:49 2019 No.13539781 File: 85 KB, 804x802, 1538798769099.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13539749 H-h-have you seen the button? D-do you like it?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 14:49:33 2019 No.13539788 >>13539749 That's the first sign of a company doomed to fail in the real world

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 14:49:54 2019 No.13539791 5, 3, 2, 4, 1

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 14:51:33 2019 No.13539808 File: 1.96 MB, 400x225, 1554201870008.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >he thinks anything like that ever happened sweet delightful NEET

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 14:55:59 2019 No.13539850 Call of duty and red dead. There’s just motherfuckers to kill bitches

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 14:57:38 2019 No.13539867 >>13539749 Are any of you going to rip stinky ass or are we just wasting our time here?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 14:58:49 2019 No.13539876 5, 1, 4, 2, 3.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:00:24 2019 No.13539891 File: 59 KB, 376x343, 1545267313466.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] god i would bury my face into the ass of the blonde on the right

>>	Pie in the Sky Mon May 6 15:05:32 2019 No.13539929 File: 83 KB, 768x1024, 1556077088777.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 42351

Anonymous Mon May 6 15:07:41 2019 No.13539945

>>13539749
During the 5 year gap I was creating my indie game. It currently has an 87% positive rating on Steam, which is fairly respectable, and will be releasing on Xbox One soon. To be honest I'm not even that interested in the position, I'm making enough money from my game to support my self and lifestyle. I came here today to see what it would have been like it if hadn't gone into business for myself. Thank you all so much for the fascinating experience!

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:09:17 2019 No.13539962 >>13539945 you made that space invaders type game right

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:10:41 2019 No.13539981 >>13539749 At first sight I thought they looked Hungarian and of course they are I love my country

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:11:41 2019 No.13539988 >>13539962 yeah

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:12:20 2019 No.13539993 Guys, what do boobs feel like?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:16:12 2019 No.13540012 >>13539945 Omg is it like fortnight?! XD

Anonymous Mon May 6 15:16:15 2019 No.13540013

>No big scary desks for us to sit behind haha...
I have no problem with that. Just to be sure, you do have professional working spaces, right?
>Seemed kind of...creepy...
Excuse me but this interview is done. Compliments to your mother who never taught you basic manners. Oh and if you need friends to be casual with, I suggest you find someone outside of work *tips fedora and moonwalks away*

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:16:36 2019 No.13540017 >>13539993 Like rolls of fat. Because that's what they are.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:17:30 2019 No.13540024 >>13540012 Haha, yah, it's a game just like how fortnight is a game! Do you like games?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:18:03 2019 No.13540027 >>13539759 4, 2, 5, 1, 3

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:19:24 2019 No.13540037 >>13539749 BRAAAAAPPPP

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:19:35 2019 No.13540040 >>13540017 Nice :(

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:21:13 2019 No.13540056 >>13540017 But when I grasp handfuls of my fatty belly, I don't get a boner. You lie

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:21:45 2019 No.13540059 I’ve heard vagina feels like the inside of your cheek, only warmer and more slippery. Can any frens conform?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:21:49 2019 No.13540060 >>13540027 5,4,2,1,3

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:23:12 2019 No.13540072 >>13540059 Confirm**

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:29:33 2019 No.13540128 14532

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:32:29 2019 No.13540147 If they ever ask shit like 'what were you doing for x years', always answer with something that would require they bring counsel in to continue asking about it. Say something like 'I was abroad on a religious mission'

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:37:05 2019 No.13540187 5 4 3 2 1

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:38:13 2019 No.13540192 >>13540128 Seriously?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:43:37 2019 No.13540230 >>13540192 same here, 2 looks like a lesbian, 3 and 4 look like attention whores

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:44:05 2019 No.13540239 >>13539749 I would probably have an erection.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 15:45:36 2019 No.13540260 24531

Anonymous Mon May 6 15:52:50 2019 No.13540337
File: 44 KB, 400x301, cunt destroyer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I was doing a spot traveling and writing my novels. Have you ever been to the south of France? England's lake district? Quite lovely. Just the sort of thing that got me through my writer's block. It was quite an eventful five years. I can't say that I regret it.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 16:07:38 2019 No.13540480 >>13540059 nah not warmer. but yeah more slippery if the girl is wet as fuck. but normally it feels exactly like the inside of your cheek

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 16:08:54 2019 No.13540493 >>13540480 Thanks fren. I’m dying a virgin, but I needed that.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 16:10:37 2019 No.13540508 2 , 3 , 5 , 4 , 1

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 16:10:47 2019 No.13540511 >>13540493 just fuck a hooker but youre welcome fren

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 16:16:58 2019 No.13540579 >>13540511 Bad suggestion, but the sentiment is appreciated.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 16:19:48 2019 No.13540615 >>13539759 2,4,5,1,2 For me lad. Its a close contest for the first three spots

Anonymous Mon May 6 16:30:12 2019 No.13540705
File: 11 KB, 264x292, timonheywaitaminute.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>13539945
I've already made it (crypto OG from 2011) and am seriously thinking about doing this for fun. Just crash a bunch of job interviews and passively aggressively taunt the HR wageslaves. Any other /madeit/ anons do this? I'd like some tips for extracting maximum salt from HR roastie NPCs

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 16:37:44 2019 No.13540786 >>13540705 Ask exorbitant salaries and watch them squirm

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 16:40:42 2019 No.13540822 >>13540786 Should make up some fake paystubs with a ludicrous salary that I can hand over when they question why I want 500k starting.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 18:08:42 2019 No.13541505 >>13539749 imagine if they asked you to foot massage them all night haha that would suck

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 18:12:17 2019 No.13541536 >>13539749 4, 3, 2, 1, 5.

Anonymous Mon May 6 18:21:49 2019 No.13541601

>>13539749

4,1,5,3,2

i don't give my github to employers, I give the addresses of my blog - which is very bland corporate-friendly material.

remember to succeed in business, gotta act like a normie. keep your stormfag nazi opinions to r/thedonald and pol

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 18:24:53 2019 No.13541631 >>13539749 i miss the REQ is creepy memes from 2017. funny shit

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 18:26:01 2019 No.13541637 >>13539749 also 4, 3, 5, 2, 1. 4 def first

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 18:28:14 2019 No.13541657 >>13539749 There is something wrong with each of these roasties

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 18:29:20 2019 No.13541667 >>13540059 >nah not warmer. but yeah more slippery if the girl is wet as fuck. but normally it feels exactly like the inside of your cheek And smells like rotten fish but depends

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 18:33:55 2019 No.13541714 >>13539749 Imagine the smell

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 19:08:54 2019 No.13542086 >>13540705 wear a bolo tie with a tiny hidden camera in it and film these

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 19:10:57 2019 No.13542113 >>13539759 4, 2, 3, 5, 1 YA FAGGOT

Anonymous Mon May 6 19:16:10 2019 No.13542162
File: 176 KB, 1000x1000, 1545095643622.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>13539749
>Oh, they didn't tell you? That's too bad. I've actually been running my own small business while also being remotely contracted out for software development. That's why there's a 1099 form attached to the back. But work history aside, I'm considering this job because I would like a little more experience in this field before I develop software to sell your company which can automate as much of the work as possible.
>*leans forward on couch*
>Now between you all and me, I already spoke with the manager and told him the company's competition has given me an offer, but he really wants to give any position here because management has caught wind you're all planning on unionizing for raises.
>Hey, I see the cake over, who's birthday is it? Oh wow Stacy's? Really? Yeah you're right Stacy, 30 is a big birthday. What? They're keeping you here after hours on your birthday to fill these positions?--What better place to celebrate than work, right?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 19:21:23 2019 No.13542216 >>13539749 PLEASE SIT ON MY FUCKING FAAAAAACE

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 19:26:36 2019 No.13542282 File: 991 KB, 794x1284, 1556218885926.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13540056 Grab your moobs or your ass to get a closer feel to the true volume and size. Let me know if this helps

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 19:35:49 2019 No.13542394 >>13542162 Have sex

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 19:38:20 2019 No.13542428 >>13539759 2, 1, 4, 3, 5.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:04:50 2019 No.13542636 >>13539759 5, 4, 2, 3, 1

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:06:03 2019 No.13542648 >>13539749 5, 2, 3, 1, 4

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:11:46 2019 No.13542688 File: 860 KB, 817x593, New Project (15).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] no one wants to fuck 3 kek

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:16:27 2019 No.13542718 File: 861 KB, 817x593, New Project (16).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13542688 this time sorted be least fuckable

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:20:53 2019 No.13542754 >>13542688 >>13542718 WTF 3 and 1 were my top choices

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:28:41 2019 No.13542810 File: 475 KB, 320x240, in out simpsons.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>13539749

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:29:14 2019 No.13542815 >>13539749 For me it's number 2

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:33:07 2019 No.13542848 >>13539749 1,4,5,2,3

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:36:51 2019 No.13542881 >>13539749 4, 5, 2, 3, 1

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:37:42 2019 No.13542887 >>13542688 I don't understand. 35142 for me. 3's a little scrawny, but still the cutest one by far.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:43:59 2019 No.13542940 >>13540705 ima 10/10 and will be your avatar for 100$ an interview demonofsemon

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:54:29 2019 No.13543016 >>13542754 At least someone will love them

>>	Anonymous Mon May 6 20:59:59 2019 No.13543059 >>13542815 >>13542428 >>13540615 >>13540508 >>13540260 >>13539759 >Darlene lovers

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