/biz/ - Business & Finance

The year is 2077.

My phone's default government application launches automatically as I emerge from slumber. "Good morning, Wojak!" appears on the loading screen and a menu eventually emerges:

>"REM Sleep Duration: OPTIMAL"
>"Vacinnation Interval: 30 days (OPTIMAL)"

Satisfied with the recent increase in the quality of sleep since decreasing my vaccination intervals, I proceed to access the product management menu:

>"--PRODUCT MANAGEMENT--"
>"Location Data: ACCESS GRANTED"
>"Financial Transactions: ACCESS GRANTED"
>"Browsing History: ACCESS GRANTED"
>"Bio-metric Data: ACCESS GRANTED"
>"Medical Records: ACCESS GRANTED"

"Congratulations! You have followed all recommended actions, your official Good Boy Score (GBS) is 998. A total compensation of 1.000 LINK will be deposited into your official Digital Identity public address."

I leave my reasonable state-subsidised co-housing pod and wait for a self-driving Tesla to arrive, as scheduled in my DigitalIdentity smartphone DApp. The Tesla drops my wife's kids off at school before driving me straight to the office. I work hard for my country and I value the opportunity they provide me in my career. even though I've made a lot of money from my GBS score, I still work because I enjoy myself and plan to donate most of my earnings to charities supporting Africa.

After finishing 16 reaction videos and closing nine tickets working an extra 3 hours of unbilled overtime in my Passion Pod, I hop in the scheduled Tesla. I check my phone. The wife saw my GBS went up by 20 points this month and got so excited she snapchatted me a naugthy picture of her bra strap showing. I blush as the Tesla pulls onto the freeway. When I arrive, I see Tyrone, my wife's son's tutor leaving for the day. I wave him goodbye and turn the bronze-encrusted knob and go inside. Wife is already in the shower, so I start washing the dishes and preparing dinner, taking care to reflect on my privilege as a man living in the dawn of 22nd century.