[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

View post   
File: 102 KB, 409x409, 1554085327162.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13330530 No.13330530 [Reply] [Original]

>sunday night

>> No.13330749
File: 606 KB, 588x918, 1530505328616.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13330749

>> No.13330818

>>13330749
>be me
>mommy's big bouncing 490lb boy
>having a bubbly bubble bath in my reinforced steel tub
>making tendie flavoured bubbles from my poopy hole
>love feeling them tickle past my mighty 2 inch peepee
>squeeze extra to hard to make an extra big bubble
>suddenly the water turns to gravy
"REEEEEEE! MOMMY! I POO POOED IN THE BATHY TUB! NOW YOUR BABY YOU MUST SCRUB!"
>no answer
"MOMMY! THE WATER IS ALL BROWN AND STINKY! THERE'S TENDIE JUICE ON BABY'S WINKY!"
>still no response
>i lift my ample frame out of the brown smelly sludge
>it has rendered me covered in slippery poop juice
>slide my way downstairs on my belly to see mommy and another new chaddy daddy cuddling on the couch
"oh, anon... i thought you were still in the bath... didn't you play with that plugged in toaster i gave you?"
"BABY POOPIED IN THE BATH! CLEAN IT UP OR FEEL MY WRATH!"
"listen champ, your mom and i are trying to watch the movie. how about you go upstairs and give us some private time. you might wanna clean up too, you smell like shit"
>i can feel my tard rage building
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>grab my loot crate exclusive replica minecraft sword and strike chaddy daddy in the head
"that's it you fat little shit! you're gonna get it!"
>he charges and attempts to grab me
>my shitty coating has turned me into a slippery brown seal
>i slip out of his grip and waddle upstairs towards the bathroom
"got you now bitch!"
>he charges me again but slips on a stray turdie tendie which sends him flying towards my rusty brown bath
>hold his head under the kf sea of poop as he struggles to fight for air
"DRINK MY RANCID TENDIE JUICE, THEN YOU AND I CAN FORM A TRUCE!"
>suddenly he stops breathing
>he must be dead lol
>talk to mommy
"CHADDY DADDY DROWNED IN CRAP! NOW MOMMY MUST TAKE THE RAP!"
"sure anon, prison has to better than this"
>get tendies at the police station
>turns out the death penalty is legal in this state
>mommy BTFO
>just realized how lonely I am
>fap furiously thinking about mommy

>> No.13330825

at least we have money to buy what ever we want stupid NEETcuck

>> No.13330842
File: 2.07 MB, 480x362, giphy (3).gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13330842

>>13330818
tale as old as time

>> No.13330860

>>13330818
I haven't seen this pasta before. Must have came from /v/ or some shit damn.

>> No.13330869

BUMP

>> No.13330873

OK, NEETs, how exactly are you getting by? And is the situation permanent?

>> No.13330899
File: 348 KB, 600x600, 1540351507124.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13330899

>>13330818
that was beautiful anon, thank you

>> No.13330946

>>13330873
Ur mom pays me to fugggg her butt

>> No.13331187

>>13330818

how disturbed does someone need to be to concoct such a story

>> No.13331205

>>13330818
do I have your permission to turn this into a screenplay kind sir?

>> No.13331223

>>13330899
How many GBP or USD do I need to afford a place like this?

>> No.13331342

>>13331223
Zillow is your friend.

For example, here's 6.5 acres plus an unfinished cabin in bumfuck Mississippi for only $45k https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1556-Mcneill-Mchenry-Rd-LOT-A-Poplarville-MS-39470/2085803794_zpid/?

>> No.13331517
File: 1.71 MB, 4032x3024, B759C5F8-FF7F-41AE-9544-566A3528AEE2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13331517

I don't want to go to sleep.
If I go to sleep it is like instantly having to get up and go to work. Like I traveled into the future.

Please I don't want to go!

>> No.13331526

>>13331517
damn that looks delicious

>> No.13331606
File: 1.63 MB, 4032x3024, 25968618-0506-4C09-9A63-39CCF03DB7B8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13331606

>>13331526
Yeah seafood nachos are great.

>> No.13331822

Its 7:39 im in the train to work and im an half hour late.
I dont want to do this anymore

>> No.13332071
File: 48 KB, 409x409, 1546102241309.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13332071

>>13331822

>> No.13332117

12:00 AM

>> No.13332325
File: 24 KB, 374x374, x3nqedk6_400x400.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13332325

>>13330530
>monday morning

>> No.13332374

>>13330818
based

>> No.13332430

>>13330818
Noice

>> No.13332432

>>13330818
tased and tendie-pilled

>> No.13333239

time to set my balls on fire

>> No.13333260

>>13330530
>Monday night

>> No.13333268

>>13330818
tfw unironically took a bubble bath today and masturbated in it

>> No.13333701

i fucking love mondays. finally I can get back to work and escape the mind-numbing boredom of the weekend. you NEETs have no idea what youre missing out on Im out here seizing the day and climbing up the corporate ladder while you sorry fucks are wasting your lives away lmao stay mad NEETs

>> No.13334227

>wake up at 7:45 am
>at work at 8:00 am
>fill excel sheets, write word documents for 2 hours
>go home at 10:15 am
>get paid 27 eur for 6 hours of effectively 1 and a half hours of work
>still earn more income than the neets of 4chan
>mfw

>> No.13335134

Guacamole pigga nenis

>> No.13335256
File: 150 KB, 277x385, 1509376287391.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13335256

>>13330530
>Monday morning

>> No.13335524

The best thing about Monday is neets get pissed all the online games have no players