/biz/ - Business & Finance

The word no
>Anon can you help me with such and such
>No

>>13321082
>>yell across the room for co-workers to come answer your questions
>>make internal phonecalls to co-workers close enough to hear your voice travel on a delay

One of my two bosses does these things every day. She's a cunt.

Her big power move was banging the president of the company when she first started working there. She did it for 6 months and then cut him off. He's married and she's not, so she has held it over his head ever since. She was never attracted to him, she did it as a way to get power over him, and it worked. Ever since then, she runs the show at the company. She does whatever she wants every day, and treats the president like shit. She yells and screams at him, tells him that she not going to do things that he tells her to do, comes in late and leaves early, gets big raises and promotions, etc....

The president is terrified of his wife and kids finding out about the little 6 month affair he had, so he just takes the shitty treatment from her every day.

Even though I can't stand her, I have to hand it to her, she gave up her vagina for only 6 months to have a full career now of doing whatever she wants at work, and getting paid a lot of money to do it.

Ask someone how their weekend was or whatever, then in the middle of them talking get distracted by something/someone else and completely disregard what they’re saying.

Call people bud or champ.

Ask them something friendly then don’t really listen to it and just loudly say OH WEL THATS GOOD, or something along those lines as you turn to do something else.

I’ve done all of these

Best office power move:

>not being a faggot that works in an office with numerous other faggots

>>13321214
>SEETHING manual laborer

>>13321082
#1 having a side gig which is slowly growing and everyone knows it
#2 when someone tries to pull the classic office bullshit: look them straight in the eye and say nothing

>>13321082
imagine caring about waging so much that you put in this much effort
>>13321150
based

Here are my tips:
>Go to work
>Work
>Go home
I've got better shit to do, like be productive so my firm can continue employing me.

>Be me, working at LatAm crypto startup
>Company is a shitshow
>CEO is good boss, but stupid.
>CMO has no fucking idea what crypto or blockchain are (lol)
>CFO hasn't worked in the company since its start.
>CCO is pretty based dude, prolly fucked more ig models than Dan Bilzerian, but balding now.
>CEO has been mad at COO since I started
>Hear from coworkers that COO is pretty much fired.
>COO keeps showing up, his office has an aquarium with eels and other fishes. I feed the aquarium fish and eels every morning.
>Decide to work on a weekend, drop acid and move into COO office.
>next monday I get first into office ñ, now I own COO office.
>CEO walks, says it fits me better.
>trascend wagecucking and quit office one week later.
>give 3 day notice.

Not sure if alpha or confused millenial. Growing weed and shrooms now. Make more money than wagecucking.

>>13321310

Actually.

Comfy on my couch with my dick and balls sticking to the italian leather as they hang out of my boxers. Playing fortnite and other video games, laighing at youtube videos with my stripper gf and smoking the finest boutique strain cannabis while my business runs itself.

>>13321660
degenerate filth desu

>>13321660
e-commerce master race

>>13321335

my niggaaaaaahhhhh

that's me

>>13321152
You realize that you could use this to your advantage? Rile that bitch up and force your boss to other fire you or give you a raise. You have some serious information here regarding their business, take advantage.

>wear tight pants everyday (large testicles and flaccid penis)
>wait until bladder bursting then pee loudly in water when i know people will hear
>ignore everyone at all times. Unless someone addresses me politely by my name give zero attention
>remember everyones names, bdays and things happening in their lives and kids names; casually drop deets and make everyone think im their biggest fan cuz i remembered basic shit like their son timmy won a swimming tournament etc
>fart and burp loudly never say excuse me

>power moves
thinking about them just shows you never will have any power at your wagie job

>>13321152
I would fuck an ugly/fat/old woman boss for a few months for job security. Your president is so retarded.

>>13321152

Imagine sacrificing your dignity to be queen wagie

Imagine being at such a low powerlevel in the office you need to do those beta male teenage like "power moves" no one above 30 will be impressed by.

The real power moves lies in the sublte art of office politics

>>13321082

Boss in my old job did the shout across the room "come here" power play.

I countered it by asking him if he is role playing as scorpion from mortal kombat.

>slam the close elevator button as people rush into the office. Bonus points if youre the only one inside
>spend 40 minutes on the toilet every day shitposting on /biz/
>indiscriminately eat your coworkers lunch. Sometimes just bin it as you 'clean the fridge'
>intentionally call people by the wrong name
>walk out of meetings halfway through
>on skype conference calls clearly show your disinterest by browsing the net or typing documents

>>13321082
My favorite "powermove" would be to call out any asshole who does this and make their workdays a living hell.

> weekly progress call
> open up a book and start reading
> my turn
> finish report in 2 m
> proceed to my beer lunch

>>13321082
cringe and weakpilled

>>13321150
based and alphapilled

>>13321660
Lol, budtenders.

>>13324121
the real power moves come from avoiding offices and people who try things like this

>>13321152
How big is the company? I would just get some manager to pick a fight with her over something, fire her, and have her immediately leave before she can speak to the President.

>Always invite yourself to important meetings where upper management is present.
>Disregard low-level meetings with coworkers. Just don't show up.
>Always under-promise and thus exceed expectations
>Always focus on what has value to upper management. Never waste your time on tasks with no visibility. Delegate these tasks to coworkers. Make up excuses to do so. Delegating tasks is seen as "leadership".
>Don't be too friendly with coworkers. Management usually doesn't want to promote people who are seen as being close friends with their future subordinates.
>Never let people know precisely what you're working on or how many hours your put in. High visibility into your work is the opposite of a power move. Ambiguity is your best friend.
>Never ever let anyone claim credit for your work. Don't let your boss present on your behalf without credit.
>Never criticize other people directly.

Not that hard desu, but you do have to be a bit of a sociopath.

>>13321152
He should ruin her credibility then fire her. No one would believe her then: make it look like she's coping.

>>13325242
sounds like hes a homo

>>13325690
i respect that you don't watch the news anon, but I bring bad tidings

>>13325324
As someone who took a part time office job 2 years ago and is now running a different branch, this is absolutely shit tier advice. What I did:
> Don't fucking suck at your job. If you're not sure who the shitty people are in your office, it's because your one of them. Your co-workers and superiors trash you constantly and bitch about management not firing you long ago. This is the most important, don't fucking suck.
> Be reliable. If you think you're getting promoted after calling out even minimally, you're retarded.
> Find whatever task everyone else dreads doing but is also critical to your operation. Get really good at it.
> Do visible work
> Make sure as many people in upper management know who you are, be very friendly with them, but don't kiss ass.
> Your reputation is everything when it comes to getting promoted, have a good one.
Those are some basics.

Read the Gervais Principle you niggers

>>13325792
Dont. I have read that and am in such a downward spiral i cant even describe.
It's literally the worst of blackholepills ever, now im 38 and back at my parents house.
I had a menial office job but i was extremely happy, but got laid off (now i see it completely because of office politics).
I dug deeper, i came to those texts and couldn't stop reading. Now im unemployed and isenchanted i cant enter any job because i know i am dealing with sociopaths (psychopaths - whatever) and the worst thing about this is the sociopaths know about it, but you deal with clueless and idiots and it is impossible to interact with them once you see thru. They really, honestly do think their jobs are somewhat important, it's like you are part of another universe, and you see every little gesture or act as a cope/tryhard mechanism, it's all so tiresome.
Please help me, how to i turn this to my benefit.

>>13325782
> Don't fucking suck at your job. If you're not sure who the shitty people are in your office, it's because your one of them. Your co-workers and superiors trash you constantly and bitch about management not firing you long ago. This is the most important, don't fucking suck.
You can "suck" / slack off at your job but still seem competent to people that don't know better. Appearances are what matters. I know some guy did the worst calls he could make on every technical decision he ever took, but his coworkers / underlings were the one stuck with the eventual fallout and he got promoted out of the way before it could ever have any effect on him. He was seen as a leader for all this.

Upper management don't tend to trash each other. The whining tends to happen at the low-level.

>Be reliable. If you think you're getting promoted after calling out even minimally, you're retarded.
Be reliable to your boss and their bosses. The rest doesn't matter.

>Find whatever task everyone else dreads doing but is also critical to your operation. Get really good at it.
There are often very good reasons people don't want to do that task: not visible, not intellectually stimulating, dead-end, etc. It also makes your mobility harder if you're seen as the guy happy to do the shitty task nobody wants to do. It also makes you look stupid and as someone who couldn't navigate politically. The real key to progression in an office setting is to get assigned to the good projects.

>>13321082
>show up to work still drunk and smelling like Jameson's
>drop the nastiest whiskey shits in the bathroom all day that last 40min
>take a smoke break every 10min
>cus under my breath non stop
>make inappropriate jokes about suicide

Not sure if these are power moves or not but people tend to leave me alone

Initiate conversations about topics you know nothing about

>Hey did you catch that new Game of Thrones episode?
>"Oh my god yes, I didn't know you watched that anon!"
>Oh no, I don't watch it, my kids always have it on in the other room when I'm trying to watch the game. Kids, right?

>>13325880
pathetic

Wagie cope: the thread

>if I be an absolute faggot towards other wagies, it’ll make me less of a faggot

lmao, absolute state of wagies

>tfw working on becoming a pilot and the only person I have to deal with is the other pilot