/biz/ - Business & Finance

The Social Contract is a joke, and long overdue for an overhaul.

>>12950587
anon this is about business and finance. If you wanna tell stories about your workplace, please try >>>/r9k/

>>12950587
HR is just looking out for the company, they just play your friend.
Its called Human Resources for a reason!

>>12950587
NPC's have received a new software upgrade. Best to just blend in right now anon while we regroup and fight

>>12950587
How did you not kill yourself yet?

>Get called into my bosses office 2 days later, asks me why haven't I asked others if they wanted a cup as well
that shit would piss me off so bad. unless your job is to actually make shit for other people in the kitchen your boss needs to be told to go fuck himself.

>>12950587
Tell your boss to go fuck himself.

>>12950587
>find out you're on the "slow tract now"
Did you get this too, op? HR put something like this on my work record and I'm told its going to make it hard for me to get promoted or raises wherever I go. It was somebody's birthday I didnt even know the person and I said I didnt want to come have a cupcake

This is a horror story. I'm sorry to hear it.

I tend to go with the passive aggressive attitude on the rare occasion I deal with coworkers/supers (I work off-site by myself). However, yesterday I had to go put my signature on a shitload of timesheets that I refuse to fill out (off-site workers clock in through a phone app) because it would mean a helluva lot more driving just to have me give them info they already have.

Put simply, I make a shitty joke like "my handwriting isn't nearly as nice as Stacey's" and then everyone laughs a bit and I have successfully delegated my work to someone higher up on the ladder because fuck them.

>>12950587
boomer corp probably found out they're about to get replaced by AI and are going ballistic

don't do anything crazy like spiking the tea with horse laxatives and giving it to your boss. that's probably illegal!

>>12950587
You're soon to be asked to stop harassing people about tea.

>>12950587
>are you happy working there?
Is this question a trap? Does anyone actually enjoy working? Aren't you sort of forced to say yes?

>>12950625
Are you new or is this some kind of bait? Wagecucking stories are more than welcome here

>>12951243
>mods are useless therefore this is my personal blog
nice try (: but get a wordpress or go back to /r9k

>>12950587
Your boss is a sociopath messing with you

>>12951260
This board functions as a wagecuck support group. I don't even lurk /r9k/. Go away normie.

>>12951274
Most likely this. Call him out on his shit and he will likely be caught off guard because he thinks you're a pathetic cuck that will take his shit.

>>12950587
>Has to work

>>12951312
why do you think its full of link spam? these worthless wagies actually think link isn't shit and is going to make them rich after missing out on 10 years of bitcoin.

>>12951351
>he unironically thinks Chainlink is /ourcoin/
Chainlink is a meme and half of the shills here are just larping. I fake shill it all the time even though I have not and likely will not ever buy it.

>>12951351
There are retarded newfags that fall for it though kek. I do unironically know 3-4 ways to make it though. Might take 5 years but it's going to happen.

>>12951312
>wagecuck support group.

this

>>12950587
Shoot them all?

>>12950587
Falling for social bullshit at work. The tea isn't the issue there's something else that the "team" have agreed about you. Just don't fall for their shit anon god speed. They just want certain people working for them and apparently your personality doesn't cut it.

>>12950617
Also this. Can't wait to sign a new one by making it

>>12950587
After that bullshit I would ask everyome every couple hours if they want tea
>go to colleague
You want tea?
>enter a metting room
You guys want tea?
>email your boss
Would you like a cup of tea?
>lunch break
Let's have a cup of tea
>brainstorming session
*makes noise and distracts everyone* Wait guys we should have some tea
>meets HR
I think drinking tea with the guys has really helped me developing my team cohesion and I'm really happy to work here where we have such nice tea

>>12951630
This OP. Absolutely do this

>>12952244
checked but no... here's what you do:
1) piss on a plate
2) put it in the freezer
3) wait til late at night when it's frozen
4) slide it under your boss door
repeat as often as possible

>>12950625
Nah this is fine on /biz/.

>>12950587
You're a weak target for bored office bullies.

>>12952429
>piss in plate
>put in freezer
>30min later someone opens the freezer to get their frozen meal
>they see a very cold plate of piss in there

>>12952429
Excuse my brainlet, I don't really understand. What's the point of this?

>>12951379
wow you're going to end up killing yourself

>>12952479
Just piss all over, around and under his door.

>>12950587
>what's happening here
Idk I'm American that would earn you a get it your fucking self here....

>>12950625
Look at this fucking newfag. Probably showed up December 2017 or later.

Fuck off you retard.

>>12950587
never trust HR sluts... never

>>12950587
cool journal entry faggot no one cares

>>12952724
i care.
nigger

>>12952429
>>12952479
>>12952544
All good suggestions

>>12952636
He’s been on the internet the longest everybody

>>12952479
This is stupid.

My favorite thing is calling random extensions in the office, then hanging up when they say, "this is Boomer Oil, NPC90019 speaking, how may I help you sir/ma'am/xir"

You'll rile up more people than you'd believe when the gossip starts and people are asking who has Y extension and why is Anon calling and hanging up. Do it to a rando once a day

>>12951192
Yes that would be poisoning and would end in jail time.

>>12952514
I own 3 Urbit stars so no I'm actually extremely fucking comfy

>watch Office Space
>lets try it
>3 months pass
>i do literally nothing at work
>get high on my lunch break
>late every day
>stil not fired

idk how but its working, but desu i think im gonna quit anyway

>>12950638
>Its called Human Resources for a reason!
because they literally (LITERALLY) treat people as disposable commodities

>>12952995
too soon josh, please give me another 6 months atleast

>>12953155
Kek I'm not Josh but I did buy off him. Deleting now for your sake Anon Godspeed.

>>12953074
i work in the post office btw if anyone is wondering

>>12951133

I know i'm on the slow track. Theres this new guy that got hired and saw the boss pat him on the back. Most people seem to dislike him though, but seeing the boss pat his shoulder in front of everyone made most people seem to back off.

>>12953074
>Office monkeys
>Actually doing fucking anything
Lol

>>12951323
this. when I was young my boss tried to make me give him my fucking tie from off my neck. I quit soon after.

>>12950587
>Make myself a cup of tea
Tea is for fags
>called into my bosses office 2 days later
That's some fuckin elephant memory right there... either that or the cunt has no life.

>never knew there was such a requirement
That's because there isn't
>"Anon, you need to work towards team cohesion"
Imagine being such a cheap cunt you can't even hire a new employee to do that kind of work and instead resort to coercing your employees into doing your work.
>Next day I ask people in my cubicle if they want Tea. Some said no politely, some just ignored me.
And we found ourselves a patsy... you're now officially the office maid.
>1 week later HR cunt asks me in the elevator if I am happy working there and if I run into trouble I can always speak to them
Bitch training tactic right there.

You're fucked... you did it once, they'll expect you to do it again.

I'd love to see how you're treated at home... she probably runs all over you like a rug, I bet.